Breathing in the City

Last week I found out that the public library just a few blocks from my house has a free yoga class on Saturdays at noon. Now I love our library, I've spent many hours there, attended meetings there, etc. but I was surprised because well, it's a library and most of the "classes" they offer are things like mah jong or black and white movie discussions. So today I rolled up my yoga mat and walked over to the library to check it out.

And it was awesome. Really. In Yuma I "belonged" to a yoga studio for almost a year and I really liked it. It was hard work, it was fun and it was good for me but it was also very expensive. So the free part here caught my eye. But this experience was something different.

I felt a little bit like what I imagine it feels like to live in New York City. Walking to a yoga class, settling in with all kinds of different people: young, old, in shape, not in shape, different colors, different sexes, even some very young kids. And then the instructor told us that if we took nothing else away from today she wanted us to take away the idea of breathing. Deep concentrated breathes that you focus on. For the first five minutes all we did was sit up straight and breathe in and out. She wanted to hear our breath. Then we breathed through just one nostril, then the other. It was a lot of breathing and it was exactly what I needed today.

It's been a busy week. I've spent hours each day grading rough drafts of essays, outlines, reference lists. I prepared and pitched ideas for spec episodes of both NCIS: Los Angeles and The Big Bang Theory in my classes this week. I edited my Bones spec and sent it and my screenplay to a manager. I applied for some internships and jobs. I volunteered. I picked a friend up at the airport. I worked out almost every day. I worked on editing my novel. I cooked and did laundry. I wrote two Lenten devotionals for my church. I worried. I ate. I went to see a sneak preview of Valentine's Day. I tried to be a good friend and sister and still squeeze some time in to read the third book of the Twilight series.

And guess what I forgot to do this week? Breathe. I'm not sure I did it at all. I marked things off the to-do list. I created other lists. I watched TV. I slept. But I didn't breathe. Not in the sense of sitting and focusing and doing nothing else and thinking of nothing else but that moment's breath. And I need to do that more often. As my yoga instructor said today, there is nothing more important in life than breath. With the first breath we are born and with the last breath we die.

This week I'll try breathing a little more. And I'm already looking forward to the next yoga class. Yes, there were too many people in the little conference room. Yes, some of them were noisy and came in late. Yes, the old women who run the book sale in the room before our class were crotchety when they were hurried out. But none of that matters. All that matters is the breathing.

This week I wish you many deep breathes. Many quiet moments.

Slimmin' with Simmons!

When I was little I remember seeing Richard Simmons on infomercials for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" workout videos and "Deal-A-Meal" diet. Later on I remember seeing him on David Letterman and it was always funny but I assumed the workout was for older people and just another one of those fads. But just a few weeks ago I learned that he teaches classes right here in Beverly Hills and my immediate reaction was, "I want to go!" And go we did...

Saturday I headed over to "Slimmons" - Richard's exercise studio, fifteen minutes from our house with Angela. We met our friends Tanya and Tony there. We went early for the "Project Me" class ($12) and found ourselves being hugged and kissed by Richard and then sitting in circle around him on the floor talking about forgiveness, food, exercise and laughing hysterically! This class lasted about 45 minutes and then he said we'd let the others in and get started with the exercise portion (another $12 which I didn't think was bad at all for a class). All of a sudden it was chaos!

The doors opened and the people rushed in. I estimated there were 200 people in that studio - which is totally 80s, mirrored walls (even hidden doors are mirrored), disco ball, pink and green steps for step aerobics, etc. And everyone just found a place so we did too - and then the music began (not oldies at all - Black Eyed Peas to start, a mix Richard assured us he made just for us!) and we were off.

Now I've always been a bit timid to do group exercise. I was a horrible P.E. student in school and even in Yuma where I enjoyed the classes I always felt like I was a step behind. And not quite dressed right. And too big to stand in front. But not here. At Slimmons there was no time to think about that because we just started! It was amazing. Richard yelled and moved and laughed and everyone just did it and it worked - so many people, squished together, even working out in the hallway but everyone was smiling and moving which was awesome!

And work out we did. I was sweating by the end of the first song but there was no break. We moved and moved and moved and then got water and then kept going. At one point we made a huge circle around Richard and he pulled people in to demonstrate moves with him. And of course Ang and I had been identified as "the sisters" right away so we got pulled in but even then, I just focused on moving my feet. It was pretty awesome. (He also walks around and constantly helps people, at another point in the class I was doing crunches with Richard Simmons holding my feet still!)

After the aerobic/dance part we did toning with 8 pound weights (yep, all 200 of us) and push-ups and stretching. We ended the hour and a half class with a little pep talk about forgiveness from Richard and more hugs. It was really amazing.

I never would have dreamed, years ago, that I would spend a Saturday morning working out with Richard Simmons who was wearing a $700 red tank top (Swarovski crystals!) and his short shorts! What I loved most was that the workout was for everyone - there were skinny people, heavy people, coordinated people, less coordinated people, celebrities (yep! honest to goodness, in a movie being considered an Oscar nom, celebrity), and me. And I loved it. I can't wait to go back. And next time, I'll take my camera!

Worrying about worrying

I'm not really big into New Year's resolutions. I have a personality that borders on obsessive at times and if I fail to meet a goal it's not always pretty inside my mind. I remember the year I vowed to floss every single day (yeah, I know, something most people probably do all the time). It became nearly catastrophic when I went on spring break in the mountains and forgot to floss because there was barely time or the place to pee much less do anything else. Or the year I vowed to read the entire Bible, one day at a time via this nifty little arrangement. I did it but I spent many a Saturday in the fall reading for hours at a time.

However, I'm really good at motivating myself, I have to be to be able to work at home. And I'm usually good at keeping an even keel. And this year while I did make some resolution type goals for myself as I do every year (written in my day journal - they're very general and fairly achievable) I have decided and announced to several people I'm going to turn a new leaf. I'm going to try and worry less. The key word there being "try".

I worry a lot about my sister, the sister who lives with me. This is normal behavior for me - and for most people I assume, who live with another person. You worry about them. But this year I'm going to try and worry a little less and just let her be. I can't cure all her medical problems. I can't get her job back for her. I can't make her less anxious. So I'm not going to worry about it as much.

I also worry a lot about the future. About the fact that I'm 32 and I don't make much money. That I write and write and write and haven't sold anything in a long time. That I have a job that I wish was different. But I realize I can't control the economic state of our country. I can't force agents to sign me or producers to buy my scripts. I can only try as hard as I possibly can and let it work itself out.

I'm also not going to worry that I've made the wrong choice or followed the wrong path. I'm going to try and enjoy the ride. I'm going to sit at lunch with my friends and listen to them rather than worry that I should be home doing something else. I'm going to go to coffee. I'm going to hike in Griffith Park. I'm going to enjoy myself just a little more. I'm not going to worry if I don't lose three pounds this week, I'm going to celebrate the fact that I got on the elliptical at all and that I beat everyone at Wii boxing. I'm going to wear out my new tennis shoes and worry later where the next pair will come from.

I'm not going to worry that I'll never meet Mr. Right and that I am becoming too old to have children. I'm going to instead talk to people, go out, enjoy being myself and being free and living in this amazing city. I'm going to write stories and look every day at the plaque on my desk that I got for Christmas: "If you can dream it, YOU CAN DO IT." -- Walt Disney.

Will I be able to stop worrying completely? No. And I don't want to. I see worrying as a form of love and caring and concern. I worry about my friends and family because I love them. And I am grateful I have so many people out there in the world who worry about me. But I am going to try and dwell on it a little less. 2010 is going to be my year. And yours!