Lenten Devotion 1

This year I wrote two Lenten devotions for First United Methodist of Hollywood's devotional booklet. The first is for today:

Luke 4: 5-8

And Jesus answered, and said unto him, “Get thee behind me, Satan; for it is written thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and God only shall you serve…”

There are days when I really enjoy grocery shopping. When I know there’s money in the bank account, when I’m planning healthy, yummy meals, when I have the time to wander the aisles looking at everything. And then there are days I detest grocery shopping. I’m in a hurry and it’s raining and the line at the checkout is six people deep and they don’t have my favorite chips and I drop my coupons and I’m outraged that lean ground turkey costs a dollar more a pound than the fatty kind.

And some days it’s the same with worship and serving the Lord. I know, I know, it’s blasphemy. But it’s the truth. There are some Sundays when I wake up and am excited to put on my best clothes and drive to church and see all my friends and serve communion and sing loudly along with the choir. But then there are those Sundays when I just want to stay in my pajamas and drink another cup of tea. When I want to turn off the alarm clock and roll over. When I want to go out to breakfast and beat the crowd to Target.

And you know what? I think that’s okay. I realized long ago that I couldn’t beat myself up over every little thing, every teensy tiny bit of guilt I experienced. I grew up attending church every single Sunday. And we were often there on Wednesdays and Thursdays and other days doing whatever needed doing. It’s okay because I can worship God at home in my pajamas. I can serve God by helping out at the AIDS clinic on Friday. And I can pray whenever and wherever and God still loves me.

Don’t get me wrong; I still have to continually tell Satan to get behind me. I have to remind myself that I’m a Christian not because I go to church regularly (which I do love doing) but because of my faith. Because of my worship and my service and most of all, my relationship with Jesus. And I love that my God, your God, our God, has taught me that.

Me care

It's Sunday afternoon and I just woke up from a two hour nap. If you know me, you know I hate naps. I don't care if other people take them but I don't like them. I always feel like I'm wasting time when I nap. And when I wake up I'm all fuzzy-headed for a good hour or more. I just don't like that feeling. That said, you know I must have really needed this nap. And I did.

I've taken many naps over the last twelve days. That's how long I've been fighting this stupid chest cold. Well, officially it's a respiratory infection -- according to the doctor I saw yesterday at the clinic. But I've finally come to the realization that if my body needs it, I'm going to do it. Because I need to take care of me, no one else is.

Now don't get me wrong - I have people who love me and care for me and want me to be well. Angela has made me food, encouraged naps, brought my tea and medicine and been the best darn nurse ever over the last two weeks. My parents continuously encouraged me to go to the doctor and even paid for above mentioned clinic visit. Friends helped me with recommendations of doctors and clinics and cures and didn't disown me when I canceled plans.

But at the end of the day, and at the beginning for that matter, I'm the one who has to take care of me. I'm it. I'm the one who takes the vitamins and lays down for the naps. I'm the one who exercises and puts food into my mouth. I'm the one who's looking out for me and this one body I get in this life.

As the nation spends so much time talking about health care or lack there of, I realized something about it all. It doesn't matter. I don't care if I have socialized medicine or the best insurance money (well, employment) can get a person. I only care if I'm well. I don't care if I have to pay for it (well, I do but you get the idea) or if I have to work for it (i.e., exercise) because if my body isn't healthy, I don't have a very good quality of life.

I've barely written over the past almost two weeks. I've gone to work every day but I dread it and do my job as quickly as possible so I can lie back down. I've skipped class and stayed home from church. I've eaten the bare minimum to get my body through the day and realized that I miss cooking and spicy foods and variety. Does it suck? Yep. It sucks being sick. It sucks not having the energy to put my fingers on the keyboard much less get on the elliptical that's grown dusty in the corner. It sucks laying on the couch watching television knowing that a few miles away my friends are drinking wine and playing Pictionary.

But I also know that I'm getting better. I've got some medication that the doctor swears will help me over the hump. I'm resting and taking vitamins and eating my fruits and vegetables and I feel stronger. I haven't coughed at all today (knock on wood) and that helps me not be so tired. And I'm really not complaining, I know there are so many people out there more sick than me. But right now, I'm the only one who counts in my world. Because again, if I don't take care of me, who will?

Yes, I think the public debate over health care is important but I also think me care is important. I think it's up to you and me and each one of us to take care of our bodies. And that's what I'll continue to do tonight as I lie on the couch. And tomorrow, I'll start writing again, because that's up to me too.