Psalm 25:6-10 (The Message)
“Mark the milestones of your mercy and love, God;
Rebuild the ancient landmarks!
Forget that I sowed wild oats;
Mark me with your sign of love.
Plan only the best for me, God!
God is fair and just;
He corrects the misdirected,
Sends them in the right direction.
He gives the rejects his hand,
And leads them step-by-step.
From now on every road you travel
Will take you to God.
Follow the Covenant signs;
Read the charted directions.”
As I sat reading this passage in my Student Bible (hey, pink neon cover from high school!) and in The Message Bible, I focused in on the part that asks God to plan only what is best for me. Jeremiah 29:10 is my go-to memorization verse, where God says He has plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. And this psalm fits nicely with that reminder from Jeremiah. I ask Him for help and God says, “I got you, girl.”
And as I sat there reading and praying, I thought about how I haven’t felt that God’s had my back much in this past year. I have felt alone (I am not), I have felt afraid for my physical safety (I have not been in harm’s way), I have felt anxious, I have felt scared, I have felt abandoned by the people in charge (we all were), I have felt angry (join the club, right??). And I have had a hard time focusing on what I should be focusing on, what God has laid out for me. And none of those feelings have anything to do with God changing, they’ve all been because of me changing.
He promises me I will never be alone. He promises me I will be alright with him. And yet…I stray. I spend time reading the news and being angry and trying to make a difference and all of that is OK. I know that. But more than that, I need to follow His signs, listen to His directions, take His hand.
I wake up most mornings thinking about what I cannot control. I cannot get the vaccine into my parents’ arms or others’ arms. I cannot will my sister and her students back into their physical classrooms. I cannot wave my arms and vanquish this virus. I cannot snap my fingers and erase the hatred in people’s hearts. So, I roll over and I pick up my daily devotional. I used to read it at night and sometimes I’d be too tired or too into Twitter and I’d forget about it. But now I read it each and every morning. There’s no excuse I can use. I roll over and I pick up the book and I spend just a few moments with God. I think about how everything is SO HARD right now. And then I think about how fortunate I am – because I know that God will send me in the right direction. He will listen to my thoughts and prayers and He will lead me, step-by-step. He is right there with me. He wants everything I want. He loves everyone I love. And that helps.
It doesn’t completely take away the fear or the anxiety or the anger. Sometimes we need other tools to deal with those parts of our lives. I know that too. But knowing He’s charted the directions is a good tool to have as part of my arsenal. He’s there with me. He’s here with me. He’s here with each and every one of us. And we need Him now more than ever. Him and His reminders.
Dear Lord – Thank you for rebuilding the ancient landmarks, including my soul. Thank you for marking me with your love. Even when the markings are faint, I know deep down they are there. Continue to guide me, Lord, even when I stray, especially when I stray. Amen.
