And that's a wrap!

Eight months of preparation. Three months of writing. Countless hours of studying, learning, making decisions. Creating a look book (the colors and design and actual visual look of what the film will be on screen), watching audition tapes, considering budget, buying props, making changes to the script, hiring crew, figuring out how to create a shot list, creating a shot list, lining the script for said shot list, blocking out shots in my house day after day, cleaning the house, individual meetings with the cast and crew, negotiating COVID protocols, worrying, stressing, being excited...

Eight months of work. 

And in 48 hours it was over. 

We began at 6:15am Saturday and we wrapped Sunday at 6:02pm! 

AND IT WAS AMAZING. 

Every single minute of it was exciting and fun and exactly what I had hoped it would be. Honestly, it was so much more than I had hoped it might be. We had a crew that showed up and WORKED. Many of them are union members and professionals and signed up to work on our project for reduced fees (or no fees), to support our project and our vision and women-led films and yet, they committed to the days like we were a big budget project. 

When I was asked this summer by a friend what a director's job is on set, I said leader. The director is the person who sets the tone, who gets everyone going, who builds momentum, and who creates the vision we will execute. And that's what I worked hard to do this past weekend. I started by gathering everyone early Saturday morning and saying two main things I wanted for our project: number one, that everyone be safe, and if they didn't feel safe, to come find me immediately, and number two for us to have fun. And I think we accomplished both of those things! 

I had a directing cheat sheet I'd cobbled together over the past few months and years, things I knew I should do day of, for every scene and every shot. And I did those for the first hour. And then things just came naturally to me, to all of us. We came together as a team and made it happen! 

Was it 102 degrees at one point, over 90 degrees INSIDE our house? Yes it was.

Were there mosquitoes everywhere? Yes there were.

Did the planes from Burbank's airport have me calling "CUT" more times that any of us would have liked? Yes they did. 

But...we persevered. 

I think one of the parts of the weekend, and of the job, that I was most surprised at, and want to learn more about but really found enjoyable all weekend was the juxtaposition of the technical side of storytelling and the art side of storytelling. Here was a story I'd written, characters I'd birthed in my brain, into a family, into a world, that I'd formed. And this weekend, real people inhabited those characters, became those people and that family, and moved into this world in a very real, tangible, way. Theses actors held hands and ate donuts and carried bags and got angry and broke things and laughed...all because of this story I created. To see the way those two sides came together, to see on a small (but very heavy) screen I wore around my neck (sometimes, again, it was very heavy) what these actors and crew members were doing was simply mind-boggling. 

I watched as our Director of Photography (DP) changed the look of the shot by rotating the camera lens. I marveled at how the visual of the whole scene softened when our PAs (shoutout to Abby and Jaime, family friends who ROCKED their jobs!) moved the lights and set up filters. I eavesdropped as two of our actors stayed in character between takes and crafted backstories so beyond anything I'd ever imagined in their commitment to doing their jobs at the highest level. I smiled every time I saw our COVID Compliance Officer (CCO) turn on the portable air purifier between scenes to keep us all safe. And then there was Angela...

She was promoted quickly from CCO (we hired another woman to fill the role) to AD (Assistant Director), the person who handles the logistics of running the set. Angela kept us going all weekend by ALWAYS knowing what was going on, constantly handing me a water bottle, being ready with the clapboard for every single take (which meant being in constant communication with the Script Supervisor), coordinating who went where, answering hundreds of questions, helping to frame shots AND move the patio umbrella about two dozen times. She did every COVID rapid test in the morning and then took hundreds of still photos and videos for us to use for social media. The weekend just didn't happen without her. 

And honestly, it didn't happen without every single person who was here. And who genuinely seemed pleased to be here at 6:15am on what was mostly her or his day off. And that's the fun of it. We all WANT to make cool things. We all WANT to tell stories that don't get told often enough. This particular story is about grief and post-traumatic growth and miscarriage and on Sunday at one point, a large group of us had the most amazing conversation about politics and health care and women and it was just...one of those things that only happens when people come together. When we do something instead of just pretending like we can't make a change or be a part of something bigger. 

Speaking of change, on Saturday at noon, a reminder went off on my watch. As soon as we finished the scene and broke for lunch I went to my bedroom and did exactly what one of my favorite directors says to do as a new filmmaker. I changed my socks. Ava Duvernay says change your socks at lunch each day and you'll feel like a new woman. And she was correct! I was hot and sweaty and at the same time tired and hyped but changing my socks, it felt exactly right. And then I was ready for the rest of the day.  

Are there other things I'd like to go back and change about our weekend? Yes! A hundred times yes! Cooler weather, more time to get different shots, more time with the actors, a bigger budget, etc. And yet...I don't think I'd really change a thing. I know I'll be processing what we did for a long time. I'll write more about it at some point. And the job isn't done yet either. The DP (who now has his editor hat on) and I will begin the editing process now. We'll take the work that every single person did this past weekend and we'll distill it down into the best 10 or so minutes it can be. And then we'll send it out into the world. 

But for now? For now, I'm going to keep smiling. I'm still tired. My mind is still reeling from what we did, what I did. But I do know this for sure: I want to do this again and again and again. It was a hell of a lot of fun. 

#AWomanDirectedThat