Tip for Thursday

Don't put chapstick on just before kissing the cat!

Happy Father's Day Dad

I am very thankful today to be able to spend the day, in person, with my dad. Angela and I flew into Michigan Friday night and it's been a whirlwind 48 hours so far and it's not going to slow down for a few days! But this morning we went to church with my parents and they asked us to talk about our dads and they gave us some prompts. Here's what I thought about today:

• My dad inspires me because...he told me when I beginning college and not sure what I wanted to study or do when I grew up that it was okay because he still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I thought that was so awesome, that my dad isn't done yet. This isn't it for him and that continually inspires me to try new things, go new places, and challenge myself knowing that there's always room for change and something exciting! Thanks dad for all your encouragement.
• The best memory of my father that I'd like to share is the time...he drove to Indiana to watch my play in my last college golf match, even though he'd told me he wouldn't be able to make it. I remember seeing him get out of the car and walk toward me and being so excited and him telling me he couldn't have missed it for anything.
• My dad is my best friend because...he makes me laugh and he gets my jokes, even the really subtle, sarcastic ones that make Ang and my mom yell and scoff.
• When I was growing up my dad disciplined by...holding strong and making sure I knew that he meant business. The lesson I learned later...was that he only ever wanted the best for me. And I am so thankful for that. I know a lot of people who did not have that kind of parent in their life and they've had to deal with issues I haven't had to.
• The funniest thing I remember about my dad is family dinners. We'd be sitting around the table and someone would say something and get us going and my dad would laugh and laugh and laugh and we'd all be laughing so hard for the longest time. I'd love those dinners so much.

Happy father's day to my dad and all the other dads out there!

Goodbyes

It's 9pm and I still haven't packed. I'm going to - really. As soon as I finish this blog. Ang is asleep in her bed, she's not packed either. But morning will come and we will get on the plane and tomorrow at this time be across the country in Michigan. But today was emotional and stressful and exciting and sad and tiring. Very tiring.

It started with our last bus duty day of the year, other teachers came out to back us up and it went well. Then the kids came inside. We had a half day with them, so shorter periods which was good and bad. We had to say goodbye and take pictures (I've never seen so many nice digital cameras and phones in one place before) and hand out report cards. And it all happened by 12:35pm. By the end each of my three white/chalk boards in the room looked like the one above, covered in messages and drawings and goodbyes. "I love yous" and "I'll miss yous" and "See you next year 'mom'"- it was hard to look at it all this afternoon and I just turned off the light and shut the door, knowing I'll start with a clean slate in August when I get back.

We said goodbyes all morning but it didn't get hard until my last period. They were my rough class at the beginning of the year. As I look back in my journal from August, I wrote about how they wouldn't talk to me and were unresponsive and had behavior issues. But as the year wore on, they became my favorite class. We had fun and I seemed to connect with these children. By the time they got to me it was nearing the end of the day and we were all a little tired and I think that played out several ways, they were quiet and loud at times, I was punchy and strict, and it was a good combination. We laughed a lot and they have a lot of stories about me and our experiences.

But when they got to me today, their last class of seventh grade - many were already in tears. And I am not a person who can let someone cry alone so I had to struggle to keep it together. We took class pictures, they wrote on my boards, and they began the hugging. I was surprised, pleasantly so, when even my boys approached me as we dismissed to give me a quick hug. But what I loved most was how each of them in this class has seemed to mature. As I was getting them together for the class picture, they encouraged two boys who are more shy and hung back to get in the picture, calling them by name and saying they "needed" to be in the shot. And then after the picture they called for a group hug and made me get in on it and ALL the kids hugged together. That was pretty cool and I was so happy to see their positive ending to the year in my class at least. As we headed out for the day, one of my boys was tearing up and told me he was going to military school in Florida this summer and wouldn't be back next year. He seemed to take today hard. And that got me going again.

As I walked outside, I was glad to see I wasn't the only teacher wiping her eyes behind sunglasses. And while it was a joyful day, the end of a long year, it was also heart-breaking. To know that these relationships we've been forging for the past 11 months would be changing, ending, stopping. The good and the bad, gone in a moment. I have spent hundreds of hours with these children. I know about their lives and their fears and their loves and their joy. And that has been such a blessing to me. God has given me such a gift and I know that goodbyes do not have to mean endings but I also know that a chapter closed today. I'll never recreate what happened in those days in that room with those kids. And that's okay, I don't want to.

I'm off to pack, and to say hello to some very special people tomorrow!

A little recognition

Yesterday was our Activities Assembly at school and at the end our golf team was presented with their championship t-shirts, their medals, and the banner that will hang in the gym (Ang and I signed it yesterday, shhhh! don't tell!! hehe). It was great, they played Queen's We are the Champions when we called the boys up they were eating it up. One of our eighth graders, Kevin - who goes out for every sport, even though he's not very coordinated, was so excited and he's so well liked that when his name was called, all the other eighth grader athletes sitting on the floor stood and gave him a standing ovation. And then when we presented our team with the trophy they got a standing O from the whole crowd, it was very cool.
So yeah, I'm bragging again, but these kids deserve it and it's a great top off to our awesome season! Go cougars!

Gratitude

Last week the mother (who is a teacher in my district) of a student of mine emailed me with a little quiz: favorite foods, stores, hobbies, etc. So I answered and went on my way. Then Monday morning I came in to find this basket on my desk! I was so surprised. She had collected everything she thought I'd like: a water bottle for yoga, scrapbooking pages and embellishes, bookmarks (because I love to read!), an itunes gift card, my favorite candies, plus things for my classroom - lots of magnets, markers and a fun pointer!
As I look at this basket this week I am constantly reminded of how thankful this child is to me, and I think about all the others who don't have parents who take them to do something like this. I am grateful. But I am also grateful for what she has reminded me, that it's important to show and tell others how much you appreciate them and what they do.
It's been a busy week at school: assemblies, locker clean-out, today's extravaganza (see Ang's blog), etc. but I am trying to remember to tell my kids and the staff members at school how much I appreciate them. I think the kids especially don't hear it enough. We focus so much on "the squeaky wheels" - the trouble makers and not enough on the good kids, the average kids who just do their jobs.
So that's my resolution tonight, to show more gratitude to those around me. I certainly appreciate thanks (and reese's!) when I get it and I know others do too.

Sleepless Thoughts

It's almost midnight and I have to get up in six hours to get ready for my last week of my first year of seventh grade. But it's one of those nights where my mind is going a hundred different ways a hundred miles per hour and I can't calm it down. I tried daydreaming, I tried counting, I tried praying, I tried corpse pose from yoga. Nothing works. I've been lying there for fifty-five minutes wide awake so I decided to get up.
They say (I have no idea who they is by the way) if you aren't asleep in twenty minutes you should get up and do something. So that's what I am doing. I got up.
I will try lying down again in a few minutes. This is when I start to panic, when I think that I have to get up in five hours and fifty-five minutes, or five hours and forty-five mintues. So I'll try not to do that. I know, I am weird. No need to remind me!
So that's it, not much I know. But here are some of the things running through my mind, in no particular order:

• Should I get the Marie Antoinette book I want from itunes or should I check the used bookstore for it or wait and see if in a day or two I still want to read 510 pages on the queen of France who was beheaded.
• What am I going to do with my kids tomorrow.
• Should I pack dress sandals for my trip home or should I just wear flip flops the whole time.
• I need to start looking for apartments in LA if I want to move there.
• Who's going to take us to the airport Friday and what should I take to eat on the plane.
• Next Monday I am going to start a new exercise routine, yoga and walking/running.
• Why don't my new shorts fit after one wash?
• I wonder when the next season of House will come out on DVD.
• I need to write some letters.
• Where will I meet Betsy in Chicago for lunch?
• The next time I stay in Santa Monica at the hostel I should make sure to leave my car parked until Sunday so parking is free (again, I am so weird!).
• Can I finish writing my book in a year?
• Have my parents read the part of the book I sent them?
• Will the change in my Netflix address really work so the movies go to Michigan this week?
• How cool is it that David Chase ended The Sopranos just like I thought he would (with nothing tied up!).
• When I move I am getting a bigger bed.
• I wonder what color quilt I should have Aunt Marie make for my birthday.
• Should I get a digital camera or stick with my beloved 35mm?
• I need to pack a toothbrush.

And the list goes on and on. I think I'll try bed again. UGH!

For him and all the others

Today was a good day in seventh grade. We were writing letters to all of our teachers, we were doing vocabulary puzzles and coloring Mexican art, we were listening to Elvis. And then an email came.
It was from the registrar and told me that one of my students would not be coming back to school after today. His dad is in a coma and not expected to make it. This was a huge surprise to me. Oh yeah, and mom doesn't want him to know it.
This isn't the first time we've gotten one of these phone calls. Just a few weeks ago I found out that another student in the same class was getting ready to move at the end of the year to New Orleans. Because her mother has terminal cancer and her father's going to have to raise her. And oh yeah, mom doesn't want her to know it.
So as I sat there, less than five feet away from this kid today, I couldn't help but think about what was about to happen to him. He's about to lose his father, his life is about to change. He will never be the same. And yet he had no idea.
I did some careful digging and I don't think he realized what I was doing at all. I figured out that his dad was deployed, according to him in Alaska. But he wasn't sure. Mom told him dad got to pick between Alaska and Iraq and dad picked Alaska. But dad works on harriers and I am pretty certain there aren't too many harriers in Alaska right now, since we're at war right now. So that seemed a bit fishy.
So I worked my magic and managed to get him all his end of the year stuff, his writing portfolio and journal to take home without him really realizing what I was doing. I also told him mom wanted him to take his tennis shoes home from his locker and when he told me he didn't have shoes in his locker I replied, "Well take home all the important stuff so then you won't get in trouble." This seemed very reasonable to him and so he cleaned it out before leaving.
But I had to be there, in my class with him, for over an hour, just thinking about what was going on in his life that he didn't even know about. He's thirteen, he's old enough to realize what's going on, to realize the people most important to him have been lying to him. And that's sad to me. I was always grateful for my mom and her opinion that kids should know stuff. She never tried to hide the truth from me. It might hurt and suck but it was out there. And that's how I like it. I want to know things.
As I watched this boy working on his picture of the rumble from The Outsiders, a giant dustball of a fight, I couldn't help but think about how that represents very aptly what's about to happen to him, his world's about to blow up. And today he was having a good day. He can be a withdrawn child, he was one of my golfers but he was moody and didn't always like to work. In fact, his A had dropped to a D this quarter. But he turned in his final project today and was proud of it and he'd gotten his grade back up to a C. In his letter to me he'd written that he was thankful for all I did to help him in class and on the golf team, and when he was on the PGA tour he'd remember me.
So I'll wonder about him tonight and tomorrow. I will most likely never know what ultimately happens to him or his family. It they're military and dad's gone, they'll soon leave I'd imagine. They only got here in the winter from North Carolina. And I'll be sad. For his dad and for all the others. And for this child and all the others.

Quite the surprise!

Monday I headed to lunch and was surprised to find these gorgeous flowers waiting for me in the front office!

They were a gift from my parents and Angela - the card read, "You made it!" And I did. I survived year one as a seventh grade teacher. Well, almost. We have six more days of school but we're almost done. Grades have been figured and put in the computer. The walls are being cleared off, we've finished our class novel and are wrapping up our year-end writing projects. Next week we have assemblies and the Extravaganza and a day of goodbyes.

You know, sometimes it really is the little things that get us through the day. Monday morning I was furious about discipline issues and how things were going that were out of my hands. Then I got these flowers and as I carried them into my fifth hour, my kids asked what they were for and I explained and they clapped and that just made the day all better. And today we had the all district staff celebration after work and it was Hawaiian theme and this morning one of the dear teachers in our building, Mrs. Prickett (along with her ever-present husband, Mr. Prickett) brought me a beautiful lei. It matched my outfit and I immediately put it on. I told my kids I had it on because I am special and I wore it all day and you know what, I did feel special!

The Outsiders

You know those books that you read and you can't put them down? You get so engrossed in the story and the characters and their world that it becomes real to you? The Outsiders was that book for me for the past few weeks.

We have been reading it as a class, well in all of my classes. And reading something three times a day really ingrains it in you. But then I decided to let my kids partner read and I had to catch up at night but I didn't mind. I was lying in my bed crying the night Ponyboy said, "I'm home."

If you haven't read it, go to the library and find the young adult section, do not be embarrassed at all, and get a copy of it. It's written by S.E. Hinton and I am extremely jealous of her, she wrote The Outsiders when she was just 16. I mean seriously, what have I been doing for the past 13 years!?!?!?!

We're going to finish it as a class tomorrow, the last 2 chapters. All year I've been reading the novels right along with the kids, listening to the stories unfold just as they do. And being disappointed when one of them ruins the story or twist for the others and myself. I did hear about the deaths in this book from others, not kids but other teachers and I was disappointed but not surprised. However, this afternoon I finished the book (so I could plan tomorrow's wrap-up activity) and I was so impressed. I smiled as I closed the book. The ending was perfect and I was deeply moved by the story of these brothers.

More and more I am realizing that young adult fiction has a lot to say. A LOT. I can't wait to delve into it some more. And my suggestion is this, if you're looking for some good summer reads, look no further than the young adult section of the library or bookstore. You'll be pleasantly surprised!