Normal is good

Three weeks ago today I was in the ER. Part of me feels like it was a lifetime ago and part of me feels like it was just yesterday. It's been a really long three weeks (just ask Angela: the best sister/friend/nurse a girl could ever ask for). I had to first recover from the allergic reaction that sent me to the ER. Then I had to recover from the drugs and treatments they gave me in the ER. Then I had to recover from the drugs they sent me home with and I took for over a week afterwards. Then I had to deal with the panic attacks and the exhaustion and the fear. And all of that isn't gone yet. This weekend I had a hard time both Saturday and Sunday. My brain still insists on practicing swallowing which in turn, causes pain and irritation when I swallow which starts the anxiety again. It's quite the circle and most of it happens in my brain. It's a lot to deal with but deal I am. I keep reminding myself I am fine and I will be fine. I am lucky and blessed and grateful and all that. All of that.

Last Wednesday I went for my first walk post ER. I walked to Angela's school, we went to lunch, and then I walked back home. The 50 minute (or less if I push it) round trip took me over an hour. My lungs burned a bit on the way up the hill from our house toward Olympic Boulevard. But overall, it felt good. Really good. Oh, and on top of it all, I'm still dealing with the lingering cough/cold/sinus infection that inspired all of this drama. But it felt good.

This morning I got up and walked 45 minutes. I stretched and kicked and moved my arms and legs and worked out. And it felt normal, which is way better than good. Way better.

Three weeks. Three weeks. Some of it's a blur. Me on the couch, sleeping, drinking drinking drinking. So much water to flush it all out. Some of it's very clear. Me trying not to itch. Me trying to calm down.

Three weeks. I am so thankful to be moving on. To have a normal day today. To workout, to do laundry, to go to work, to make dinner, to write. Normal is good. Today is good.