One year

Exactly one year ago today I was awoken by a phone call at 6:30am. And I didn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who it was or what was about to be said. She was gone.

I cannot believe it has been a whole year since my Grandma MacDonald passed away. Sometimes I can't believe it's been five minutes. There are still instances when I think, oh, I'll send that to...and I have to stop. Or Angela says, "Well just call..." and we can't.

I think about her every day. I miss her every day. I don't wish her back, she was sick and I know she's up in Heaven dancing now but I still miss her. Today as I put on the ring her father gave her when she was a girl and put the necklace around my neck she gave me, I felt her with me. Close.

A year ago today I woke up in California and went to sleep in Michigan. And still today, I feel that divide. I feel how much my life there is not like my life here and how much I miss it. Mostly the people. Mostly grandma. I can't talk to her on the phone or send her a letter like I can with the others.

So today, I remember her, as I do every day, but I think about how much she is still a part of my life and I am grateful that she was a part at all. I hope she sees how I'm doing and that I think of our time together fondly. That I still feel her arms around me. That I still hear her laugh. That I still love her.