Diary of a P.A.

The first scene of the day

Yep, that's me in the above shot, just to the left of the slate. The picture is of the monitor that the camera fed into on the short film I was working on. I was never supposed to be on camera. So let me explain what happened...

My awesome friend Sonora Chase is an actress and writer and director and she produce to make what she hopes is the first in a long line of her own projects. So she called me up and asked me if I'd be the production assistant, or P.A. (I'd already prefaced that I'd love to help out on set but had less than zero technical knowledge of filming). She said I'd likely work craft services (setting out all the food she got from Costco and making sure that the lunches arrived on time) and keep track of the props she would be using. I agreed immediately.

Last week I got the call sheet, the piece of paper that lists every person who'll be working on the film and when they are to report to set (their call time). Being a part of production, I had the earliest call time each day (the shoot was two days long) and the latest wrap time each night (wrap time is when you are finished). Each day we were scheduled to film for twelve hours on a soundstage called Air Hollywood about thirty minutes north of Los Angeles. I was looking at some long days.

I was excited though, it was the first time I'd ever seen my name on a call sheet. It was the first time I'd ever be involved in the production of any type of film beyond being an extra on Dexter. So off I went Thursday morning. I felt a little like a race car driver on the freeways, everyone else was driving into the city but not me, I was driving out so traffic was very light. Now I know the trick to beating the commute.

Once production started I quickly realized my job as P.A. would be a grabbag of everything which was awesome. Once I got craft services set up and the paperwork organized for the cast and crew I wandered into the main room where we'd be shooting, the airport. I was quickly put to work taping down cords, putting together tripods for lights, moving plants, assembling dollies. And that was all before the actors arrived. Once that happened Sonora asked if I'd be an extra in the scene so they could add some more activity in the background. I went off to makeup, got some really heavy foundation applied, and assumed my "acting" for the next four hours as 'girl on cell phone'. That's right. My job was to sit in the very back of the shot and be on my cell phone, purse on my lap, suitcase in the chair next to me. Boy was that hard! I played Words with Friends. I Tweeted pictures from set. I read proposals from my writers' group. I texted with friends. All in the name of acting. And between shots, I'd jump up to deliver water to the crew, move a camera, et cetera. How fun!

That afternoon I wasn't in the shot so I became the 'slate girl'. I was nervous at first, I didn't know what to say or exactly where to hold the slate that announced what scene we were shooting. But it didn't take long to figure it out. Scene Three Frank, Take Two, Mark. And then I'd snap it shut. Once they heard the snap they knew it was time to yell action.

Me slating my own scene on the plane

By Thursday night I headed home exhausted, made a water and Coke run on the way, ate a quick dinner and fell into bed quickly, all just in time to get back up and do it again Friday. But something dawned on me before I left the house Friday morning. I thought about the film, which was really only about three minutes in length and covered about three hours of time. What if they needed me to be 'girl with cell phone' again? So I threw my stinky clothes in a bag in the back of the car and headed north.

We had a lot more extras on Friday so bagels were served, paperwork was completed and I spent several hours holding the monitor and audio cables as we filmed dolly shots of people boarding a plane. Then we moved into the body of a real airplane. It was very cool to see how the cameras and lights had to maneuver to get the shots. But it worked! And guess what? The DP (Director of Photography) said wouldn't it be cool if I could be in the shot again. I asked if they wanted me in my clothes from yesterday and voila! I was 'girl on cell phone' once again. This time I got to be in on the action a bit more.

Me and Elliot who played a TSA agent in the film, we are sitting in the seat Maya Rudolph occupied in "Bridesmaids"

They seated me next to Sonora, who was playing the lead character Becky. During each shot (and there were at least twenty that we filmed in just a few hours) I had to head to my seat from the aisle, pull up the sweater they told me to have down on my shoulders, straighten my clothes, settle into my seat, and pick up my cell phone. What you won't see? I also had to be the slate girl for each shot! I had do my clapboard thing then run back to my mark (position one in filming lingo). That was fun! (I bet Emmy and Oscar winners don't work that hard!)

This is a shot of me and Jen who played the annoyed flight attendant, she's practicing here

At some point during the blocking (aka planning) for the scene on the plane I leaned over to Sonora and said, "Wouldn't it be funny if when you started your rant in the middle of the scene, I picked up my things and moved over a seat." I said it kind of off-handedly but they loved the idea so I had some more acting to do each take. And then at some point they decided they really liked my reaction to the whole scene so there was a close-up shot of that. I hope it all turns out well, there had been no makeup chair for me that morning and my training only comes from my real life annoyances while on a plane.

We wrapped right on time Friday night and then ran around for an hour packing up lights and props and cleaning. By the time I took off my shoes to drive home, I had blisters on every toe and my hands. Oh, I forgot to mention that! There's a scene in the film where plane passengers are putting their belongings on the conveyor belt to be screened. We've all done it, plop your shoes in the little bin and off they go. Well, the magic here? The conveyor belt didn't work on the soundstage. So you'll see my work on screen but not me in that scene. I'm on my hands and knees pulling the conveyor belt to make it run. Hence, the hand blisters. Too funny! And by the time I made it home Friday night, I was doubly exhausted. But in that awesome way where you know you've earned it. You've run your butt off and you can now sleep for twelve hours.

"Airport Douchery" will be out on Funny or Die soon. I can't wait. And I can't wait to do it all again!

Our 10-Year Anniversary

Ten years ago today I bought my first car. Yes, I'd had cars before that, I drove my dad's untrusty Ford Tempo during high school and then the used blue Intrepid for years in college and grad school. But I had just graduated with my Masters degree in 2002 and I knew I was about to embark on a wonderful career with a big salary and I was ready to not worry about things like transmissions and new tires and all of the joys that go along with owning a used car. So off to the car dealerships my dad and I went.

I still remember tooling around Lansing, not really finding what I wanted. I knew I wanted an SUV, I actually had dreams of a black Ford Explorer all tricked out after having driven a rental one on a youth group trip. But that was beyond even my dream-filled price range. And then we stopped at the Saturn dealership (oh how I miss Saturn dealerships, my whole family, every one of us a Saturn owner, does). I remember my sales guy, I think his name was Lance. He talked to me, not my dad, and he's the first person who did that. As soon as he knew I was buying the car, I was the customer. I loved that. And the red VUE was the first Saturn I test drove and then Saturn I drove home ten years ago today on a sunny Thursday afternoon.

It took me five years to pay off this car. Five years of writing out $417 checks each month (back when we had the little coupon books - do they still do that?!?!). Five years of not really being sure where or how the money would come in but it always did. I never missed a payment and I'm particularly proud of that. I paid it off and it's mine. These pictures were taken this morning in the driveway. In the last few years I've had some work done, new tires, new battery, new brakes, more new brakes (just last month in fact), even a new back gate latch and blinker but what I love most of all? I still have this car. It's ten years old and it drives well. Sure it squeaks a little when it first gets going but it holds a lot of people, a lot of stuff and a lot of memories. I've driven it from Michigan to Arizona to Texas all the way to San Francisco. I've driven youth group kids and seventh graders and friends and loved ones in this car. I've carried my stuff when I've moved and my stuff when I have to drive two minutes down the road. I'm blessed to have it. And I love that it's red.

Breezes through the window

I spent the last half hour laying on my bed, the window open, a perfect breeze coming in, staring out at this (the picture really doesn't do it justice). I am laying on my giant bed which I love, with the white waffle-y textured bedspread, just like my Grandma MacDonald used to have on her beds. It feels so much like summer. Like perfection. I feel fresh and cleaned by the breeze and happy. Momentarily. While I was staring I was also finishing up a book I've been reading by one of my favorite writers -- Anne Lamott -- called "Some Assembly Required". It's an amazing journey of her first year as a grandmother, something I really cannot relate to, and yet, I totally can. I can relate to her struggles for grace, God's timing, patience, love, understanding, and food. It is an amazing book and I feel blessed to have held it's words close this week. And now that it is done, I am happy and sad. I love that about a book. So much.

It's Tuesday morning. I shouldn't have been lazing around on my bed reading. I should have been doing a million other useful things but I let myself, really forced myself, to take it slow again today. I've been sick again, for over two weeks -- another upper respiratory infection -- and it's taken its toll on my lungs and my energy. I'm so much better now, and so thankful for that but I don't want to jinx it. Because in my mind, that's all it would take, a jinx and I'd be sick again. I'm still fighting my body over the steroids and penicillin from January and I'm finally growing wise to the fact that I have to be kind to my body. It's the only one I have. And I'm partial to it.

As I laid on my bed this morning I kept glancing out the window in the silence of the morning. Before nine a.m. the world is still asleep around here. The kids have all gone off to school, the young adults to work, and all that's left is the silence. I love that. I love that I can think and pray and read and work. Because I am working. So many stories, so many ideas, so much. But it needs to gel, to come together. And that's why I roused myself from my bed (which was made, and I was fully showered and dressed, so no one thinks I'm a terrible bum) and headed to the computer a few steps away.

I don't know what the future holds. I curse that fact every single day. I hate that I don't know what tomorrow will be or what next year will look like. I mourn the fact that I don't have some of the things I want or think I need. But then...

I look out the window, through the rusty bars, at the flowers. I look at the bright blue sky. I smell the purpleness floating in. I feel the breeze hit my legs. And I take a deep breath. And I remember that this moment is all I have. That I am alive. And that's a pretty good start...

EIF Revlon 5K - Year 3

Actually, the amount is $2340 and growing! Angela and I were so excited to participate in the EIF/Revlon 5K to fight cancer again this year, our third since we've been in L.A.! Saturday was a glorious day, just a little cool to start but by the end, nearing eighty degrees. We walked with over 30,000 people -- survivors, those left behind, families, kids, celebrities, so many people -- and every step of the way we thought about and prayed for the people we walked for. For the people we support and you support.

I cannot imagine a life with cancer. The struggle. The pain. The tenacity to make it through another day. But I can imagine a life without cancer, a world without cancer. And that's why we walk. For Marilyn. For Grandpa. For each and every single person we love and you love who fights or has fought.

We came home with a few blisters, a little slower step, and two medals. But the reality is we came home simply with hope. When the organizer of the event stood up before the walk and announced that money raised through our efforts has gone to create a new drug that's in trials now, that was amazing. To know that we, us little human beings on this big planet, can affect change? That's what it's all about.

Thank you for donating. Thank you for praying. Thank you for fighting the fight to continue to kick cancer's ass! Together we will!

Mothers' Day

It's always hard to be away from loved ones on holidays. It's especially hard when you grew up in the same house as those loved ones and spent every day, not just holiday, with them. But you grow up, you make it work, and life goes on. Until something reminds you to stop and remember, stop and feel, stop and spend time.

This morning I woke up to this posting on Facebook:

Thoughts on being a Mom: I feel blessed and I wouldn't have it any other way, or wouldn't have changed a thing...Chris and I both agree we have wonderful children who have found their way in life, care about others and have taken the 'high road'....as Moms we both feel blessed in how our children have matured and it is because there has always been a place for them to come home to with unconditional love....Happy Mother's Day everyone! Thank you Ben, Liz, Sarah and Angela for making us GREAT!!!! - Marilyn

And I instantly played back my last thirty-four years, spent with these two wonderful women, all these wonderful people, and I stopped. I realized that although I am far away from them both, I'm not really. I'm so close. And for that, I am so grateful. Beyond grateful.

Today I got to spend an hour and a half talking with my mom on the phone. I got to hear all about her day and about everything - the big and the little things. I got to just sit on my couch and talk. That was awesome. To me, even though I am thousands of miles away from her and Marilyn, I felt like I'd come home. Just hearing her voice, just being present with her, was all I needed to be reminded of that love. That love that no matter the miles or the circumstances, never goes away.

So today, and every single day, I thank God for my mom, for Marilyn, for my family - far and close. And I remember how very lucky I am.