Grandma's Birthday

Today my Grandma MacDonald would have been 88 years old. She loved her birthday, celebrating, presents, all of it (maybe that's where I get my birthday month from!). We loved it too because it always fell around Thanksgiving (sometimes even on the holiday) and it meant everyone would be together for her day. There was always a cake, even if it was Thanksgiving Day, and there was always another celebration, usually putting up her Christmas tree with the whole family the day after Thanksgiving which she loved.

This morning I thought about her as I used her measuring cups to bake pumpkin bread. I thought about her as I ate my breakfast and drank my coffee (I wish I had liked coffee earlier in life so we could have shared a pot) and watched a hummingbird flitter around the cactus in my front yard. She loved hummingbirds. For a minute I sat there and watched and imagined it was her coming for a quick check on me.

She has been gone a couple of years now. Yet I still reach for the phone to call her. I still vividly remember her voice when I need comforting and see her smile when something good happens. I wish she were here today so I could call her and talk for an hour about nothing and everything. I miss that voice on the other end of the line more than she could ever know.

Today we gave my mom flowers to celebrate grandma's birthday. It's a hard day for everyone. But a happy day too. We are remembering her. We are. And that's what it is all about.

I love you Grandma. Happy Birthday.

Grandma and Mom on Grandma's last birthday

The Red Carpet

Last week I got an interesting phone call. It was one of our pastors from Hollywood UMC, asking if we had plans for Sunday. I chuckled and said, yep - spending the day with you at church. Worship, decorating the church for Christmas and then the Thanksgiving potluck. (We were in charge of 100 rolls.) But then he asked if we might be interested in a little adventure. Someone had bid on tickets to a Red Carpet experience at the American Music Awards (AMAs) that he was raffling off for a charity bike ride and that person (a really awesome person who we get to thank this weekend!) wanted the tickets to go to someone who might enjoy them, who could use a little cheering up. He thought of us he said because we'd had a rough year. I was speechless. Sometimes people amaze me in the best way. Really.

And because I'm constantly trying to find more ways to say YES! and because it sounded kinda cool even though before last week I wasn't really even aware the AMAs were coming up, we accepted the tickets. We coordinated with Reverend Dave and the nice Dick Clark Productions employee and before we knew it we were headed downtown. Free parking was just one perk! 

The AMAs take place at the Nokia Theater which is right next door to the Staples Center, which is just a few miles from our house. We had to be there at 1pm Sunday so we spent the morning getting all gussied up and off we went. High heels, body tape on the dresses, full makeup and hair and cocktail dresses (all requirements were were given, well, not the body tape!). There we found out that we knew a few others who'd be hanging on the Red Carpet with us -- friends from church. Side note: Was excited that it was going to be about 72 degrees and sunny Sunday afternoon. Forgot that sunny = sunburn. Yep, a nice little souvenir! But worth it! 

Once we got our credentials, which we had to wear to get onto the Red Carpet but had to take off once we were there, we headed out to the main stage. It was a hike but the fun part? Walking through a tunnel of about 15 LAPD officers. We all commented that we might need to walk that part again! 

Once we were on the Red Carpet we were literally on the stage. On yahoo.com apparently we could be seen dancing and clapping along to the performances. My parents kept reporting that they could see us (well enough for mom to spot that I was favoring my right foot - the one with the torn ligament!). We saw all of the performers up close and personal including Fifth Harmony, Jesse McCartney, Jabbawockeez, and Aloe Blacc. They were all really really good even though I hadn't heard of any of them before this week! (Though I had heard the Aloe Blacc single on the radio, I'm not totally uncool.)

Our only instructions were to enjoy the shows, clap when the performers were presented, and enjoy ourselves. We did just that. For about four hours we drank Coca Cola products (we were in the Coca Cola lounge after all), chatted with people all around us, snack on really fancy little appetizers, and enjoy the view. While the Red Carpet event and show started at 2pm PST, none of the stars showed up until about 4:20pm PST or even later. And the show started at 5pm PST which meant the Red Carpet was very busy for a little while. We saw lots of stars, some we even recognized! There was lots of "Who's that?" and "Is that...?" as well. 

Occasionally we were surprised to see so and so then we'd remember, oh, their show is on ABC or they have a movie coming out. It was interesting to see who actually walked the Red Carpet and who didn't (Taylor Swift, left, did, so did Lady Gaga but people like Justin Timberlake did not). And also, how quickly they walked down it. Some stopped for interviews but a lot of them just breezed right on by to the theater entrance.

As the show began and the Red Carpet cleared, we watched as they started taking down the stages and rolling up the carpet. We asked a very nice security guard if we could go down and snap some pictures and he let us through the velvet ropes. Then we headed back out the way we came, the long way, even longer in those heels by that point.

 

 Here we are on the actual Red Carpet. It was quite an adventure to be sure. I even networked a little (Women in Film unite!) and we got asked questions about the Red Carpet as we left and walked by people without credentials which was pretty cool. Some in our group headed inside to the actual awards show but we chose to head out instead. Angela had been nursing a head cold (still is!) and I seriously am not sure how I walked to the car with my shoes on (but I did!). I certainly could not have stood for three more hours in them. 

So. Quite the adventure! I'm not sure when I'll ever get to be on a Red Carpet again and it's not something I'd want to do every day but it was an amazingly fun experience. And to come home and see ourselves was pretty cool too. Check us out on the ABC preshow in the upper right hand corner!

We left the show, grabbed some takeout for dinner, and headed home where we peeled off the Spanx, washed off the mascara, and curled up on the couch to watch the rest of the show. I was excited Macklemore's album won (love love love "The Heist"!) and was totally unimpressed by some of the other performances (JT, really? I want pop-y dance moves next time) and glad to see some throwbacks (Nelly never fails to make me sing along!). All in all? Another Hollywood adventure for the books for sure!

Quick update - that fear? She's dead!

It's Friday at 2:30pm. You might remember I last blogged Wednesday at noon. On Wednesday I had a stack of notes and no idea what to do with them except dig in. So I did.

On both Thursday and Friday I spent countless hours glued to my chair, warming my hands on watered down tea, surrounded by sticky notes and legal pad pages and a pink highlighter that I used to put big Xs through every note I conquered. I spent hours focused on two pages on my screen at the same time.

One page had the old draft, old format, old everything. Old but still golden. The other page was blank, until it wasn't anymore. It's where I took what I had and cut it and shaped it and reworked it and molded it into something new. Something I love so much more.

The notes weren't as scary as I'd imagined (even though I already knew what they were I was scared to read them again). They were precise. They were exactly what I needed. Page 4 needs a joke. Okay. Got that. And guess what? I came up with one. And then a better one. Come to find out, I needed that fear. I needed that motivation to get through it all.

What exactly did I do? For one thing, I addressed every question that arose from all of the consultants. I wanted nothing to be confusing or unclear or murky in the slightest. I wanted more laughs and one way I realized I needed to do that was to tell, not always show. In screenwriting I was taught "show don't tell". That works well for film. That works well for people who will be watching your story in a dark room on a giant screen. But for TV? When there are couches and screens, so many screens, and food and kids and knocks on the door and distractions galore? I need to tell more than show. So I worked to find a balance between both. A balance in the story and in my telling of it.

Another thing I did was focus more on the funny. I had the story down. I knew who the characters were but it was important for everyone to see that. And to laugh while doing it. Only time will tell if we got there.

Also? I cut the script by 11 pages. That's huge. And I didn't cut a single scene. I combined and rewrote and tightened. And I may do more of that. But the script is tighter and flows more quickly which will be good for the staged reading.

Speaking of...

The script went out to four agents today! Four agents of four actors handpicked for the roles. We'll know next week if they're available and interested but this is so exciting! We have a theater and soon we'll have a cast! Love it!

The notes and the fear and the reality

It's approximately noon on Wednesday, November 20th. In less than three weeks, just 19 days from now, something kinda cool is happening. The theater has been booked. There are marketing materials and posters being created. There is planning and organizing and...well, a lot is happening. And yet?

I sit here. Behind my desk. Scared to death.

It's true. On Tuesday, December 10th, there will be a staged reading of my sitcom pilot on stage at a real theater I've been to before. This is exciting! Yes! Exciting! But also...

Terrifying.

I'm not sure if this is how professional athletes feel before a big try out or actors before a big audition or doctors before taking their boards or anything like that. But for me? I'm scared. And I guess that's good because nothing can motivate the fear out of me more than a deadline. Especially such a specific one.

And I'm trying hard not to be scared but I'm not sure if I need to. I've been working really hard for a long time to get to this point, which really, frankly, isn't even that much of a point really (I cannot imagine the terror that will set in my first day in a writer's room on staff). And I think it's okay if I'm scared. I think it means it's real. And this is real. This is so real that the picture above is just a small sampling of the notes I received yesterday and last month from several writing consultants who've been paid to help me write a better script.

Yep, that's four pages of single spaced, page specific, notes. And not the kind that say, aww, cute! Or haha, funny! Nope, the kind that say, you need more verbal jokes on page one and who orders vermouth neat? The kind that are really, really, really good notes but are all notes, all of them, that need to be addressed. In the next 19 days. By me. Just me.

A few weeks ago when we were in the midst of figuring out this reading Sonora, the wonderful and lovely producer, called me up and said, I'm going to send your script to so and so, she's a joke doctor (or a comedy consultant or whatever they're called today). On the outside I was all, awesome, cool, we've talked about adding more funny. Who doesn't want more funny? Awesome, cool.

But on the inside?

As I pressed the end call button on my phone, tears welled up in my eyes. Maybe I'm not as funny as I think. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe a million things. Terror. Fear. Heartbreak.

But then? Then I sat back and thought about it. (The tears never actually fell it took that long to change directions in my mind.) Sonora wants to pay someone to help me be better? That really is awesome. No one else's name will be on the script. It's mine. I created it. For better or worse. And people are out there, people as in plural, who want to see me succeed, want this script to get bought or made or optioned or whatever. And that's cool. Very cool.

So I took a moment and continued on with my job. The only thing I can control. The words on the page. And then? Flashforward to today.

The notes. The pages and pages of notes. The big notes. The small notes. The really good notes. The frustrating notes. (Why can't people read my brain?!?!) The notes.

I've been thinking about them since my meeting ended at one-thirty yesterday. They sit there, on my desk, staring at me. Yesterday I had to come home, log into school for a while, then go to a fundraiser with Angela, then hit the grocery store, make muffins and honestly, I didn't make it through New Girl last night. I was sound asleep before 10pm. So the notes sat alone.

Then this morning? I had to exercise. I had to talk to my mom. I had to cook chicken for dinner and answer the door when the mail lady threw a package against it. I had to Instagram a picture I took last night and check Twitter and read a few bookmarked articles. I had to finish the last chapter of the novel I was reading and oh yeah, grade a stack of papers my students turned in.

Did I have to do all of that? Hell no.

Do I wish there was more on my to-do list to take up my time this afternoon? Hell yes.

But alas, there's not. It's just me and the notes and the screen.

Cut pages.

Add jokes.

Clarify.

Sharpen.

Add more.

There's nothing to it. Right? Right? Right. Here goes nothing...

Tea Time

Since the day I moved to Los Angeles I've been aware that I need to network. To figure out this town, this industry, this life. I've been aware that I have to meet people who are people, or who know people, who want to work with me. That like my work and who need my skills. It's such an odd and different perspective on working than I ever had before I moved here.

So, for the past five years, I've been working on it. Networking. In grad school at UCLA it was taking time to go out to the bar after class at 11pm when I would much rather have gone home to bed. Then it became keeping up with the people I graduated with. Social media, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, emails, it's time consuming. I started a writing group to network with like minded writers. I went to social events and screenings and panels and did it all as much as I could. I struck up conversations with people in line or next to me. I exchanged cards and responded to Linked In requests even though I still don't really see the point of Linked In. I met for coffee and exchanged scripts and gave detailed notes and sometimes, got notes back. Sometimes. And never detailed.

And so, for the last year or so, I've been trying to rethink my strategies. I've been working to network more efficiently, more effectively. And, it's finally paying off. And I've realized, it's a lot more enjoyable.

I've figured out, for me, that it's more about the quality of the networking than the quantity. If I spend three hours at a mixer and come away with two cards of people who've maybe written something or are wanting to write, that does me no good. But if I spend an hour having coffee with an old acquaintance, and we leave having had a wonderful conversation and agreeing to work together, I call it a win. And recently, I've been trying to do much more coffee and much less mixing. (Also, coffee is way cheaper than crappy drinks and I'll gladly buy tons of coffee to sit and actually hear the conversation rather than try to teeter on heels, straining to hear snippets of talk.) Also, I'm not saying that I won't keep going to mixers or panels or screenings but only if I want to. Not because I think they'll help me find the keys to the city.

Flashforward to this weekend. To Saturday. To the morning I spent having coffee and tea with a friend from film school. We'd kept up since graduating but it was becoming harder and harder to carve out in person time. Facebook and Twitter kept us abreast of jobs and families and relationships but it's never the same. So we plopped down Saturday morning to catch up. And it was lovely. And comfortable. And enlightening. And such a wonderful friendship experience with a sweet side of networking. I love that.

Then Saturday afternoon I put on my best "fussy" outfit (that's what the invitation called for, fussy attire -- I wore bright colors, big dangling earrings and high heels) and headed out to another friends Women in Entertainment Tea Party.

I wasn't sure what to expect but my expectations were blown out of the water just the same. Over the course of four hours I had fascinating conversations, met women from all facets of the entertainment industry, laughed, told stories, listened, ate really good food, drank tea, exchanged contact information, and ended the evening with a teacup full of really good champagne. I mean, seriously, you can't ask for a better day.

And the best part? I didn't just "network" like people in Hollywood keep telling us to do. I met people. Real live people, women, with jobs and dreams and interesting stories. I made connections. Not just business connections but life connections over topics as diverse as neighborhoods, musical tastes, daily work trials, teaching, comedy, even neighborhood watch clubs!

Also? I made friends. I didn't just exchange cards with people who might or might never acknowledge me again. By the time I got home Saturday night I had several friend requests, new Twitter followers, and last night, one of the women I met emailed me a draft of a skit. This is real people. This isn't lip service.

This is women coming together and being intent on making relationships and helping one another and being awesome, together. This is lifting each other up and celebrating accomplishments and sharing stories. This is awesome. This is what I've been looking for since I got to L.A.!

How many of these new friendships will continue? I can't predict the future. But I do know that there are women out there who are looking for the same thing as me -- a different way to make it in this town, in this industry, in this life. Frankly, just in life in general. And I love that we've started to find one another. Because, really, in life, when you find your people, your community, that's half the battle.

The Surprise 40th Party

For much of last winter and spring Angela and I worked on a project. That project? Throwing my mom and dad a surprise 40th anniversary party in June. It was quite the undertaking. First, we had to

make sure that it stayed a surprise because my parents are very anti-anything that puts the focus too much on them. This isn't a bad thing it's just how things are. They don't want big celebrations for birthdays or retirements. (I guess I got all the non-humble genes in the family, i.e. birthday month, et al.)

Second, we had to coordinate with field operatives on the ground in Michigan because we wouldn't be back in Howell until shortly before the party in June. So when we started planning back in January, we enlisted the help of some wonderful friends and family members. We had Susie sneak over and raid their Christmas card book for addresses. We had Julia gather decorations. We shipped hundreds of mason jars to Susie's house. We ordered mason jar cookie cutters and sent them to Marie. We put Doris in Canada in charge of the cake and so on and so forth. It was quite the six months.

Angela and I wanted to do this for our parents for several reasons. One, they have been married 40 years. That's something awesome to celebrate. Two, they do so much for all of us. And I do mean all of us. Family and friends and daughters alike. We wanted to celebrate them, the people they are and the large extended family they've created during their lifetime together. And third, who doesn't like a big old party? Exactly!

We settled on a theme:

Having a Ball since 1973 (hence the mason jars, Ball jars to be exact) and set to work. And next thing we knew we had over 100 people set to join us and countless people volunteering to help, make food, decorate, donate time and money to the endeavor. Their wedding anniversary is technically June 2nd but Angela and I wouldn't be there then. So we settled on June 29th.

The two weeks leading up to the party when Angela and I were in Michigan were busy. Harried. Crazy. We had to organize and prepare for this party. This 100+ guest party without letting my parents in on the secret. There were lots of fibs and little white lies. Lots of secret trips to Target and "sightseeing" that never took place. Instead we were coordinating with caterers, ordering drinks, hanging decorations, et cetera et cetera.

So did it work?

Yes!

We ended up surprising them. They thought they were meeting Angela, Jeff, Julia and I at Jeff and Julia's house to go to a play about Ernie Harwell in Detroit. (And yes, we eventually did get to see the play!) The rain that threatened held off and as they pulled into the driveway, this is what they saw:

Family and friends from near and far waiting just for them. To celebrate them. And from the looks on their faces, I think they were surprised. And a little overwhelmed.


Did the day go perfectly? No. There were too many baked beans. We didn't get as many photographs as I'd have liked. We never did turn on the music. But overall? I think it was a smashing success. Mostly because my parents enjoyed the day. They talked with friends and family they see every day and those they rarely see (Noelle, Angela's and my college roommate came in from Chicago and my parents hadn't seen her in over eight years - that was awesome).

But we did it. We pulled off a surprise party for my parents. We celebrated their 40 years of marriage and family. We celebrated them. And we had an awesome time doing it. Here's to the next 40 years, Mom and Dad!

(NOTE: Yes, this blog post is a little late. Over four months late. I kept meaning to write it right after the party but life kept jumping in the way. In Michigan there's always something more interesting to do than sit behind the laptop. There are bonfires and baseball games and grandneighbors next door and people to hang out with. But also? Five days after the party, the party both my Grandpa and Grandma Boutell were able to come to, my Grandpa went into the hospital and a few short weeks later we buried him. Just over a month later we buried my Grandma. So, the blog was not top on my list of priorities. But, I wanted to get some of it down, some of the memories on the page, as I always do. So, here it is. Better late than never!)

Progress, slow sweet progress

It was almost a year ago when Sonora asked to see my portfolio of scripts. It was back in April when I started writing the script. It was June when I sent her the first draft. It was September when we had our first table read. And now? Now it's November. But soon it will be December.

And in December it looks like we'll have a staged reading.

Yep. Another table read. But a little different this time. Okay, a lot different.

September was awesome. We had actors and friends sitting around Sonora's big dining room table she bought just for that night. We had champagne and good food and conversation. We had a reading. Scripts in hand, laughs produced, smiles brightened. It was awesome.

But over the last two weeks things have been happening. I've been rewriting, yes, I'm always rewriting. But we've also added another producer to the mix, involved Sonora's lovely wife Dasha and my lovely sister Angela, and we're a team. We're a team who've met each Sunday to brainstorm and plan and move forward with this. And it's exciting.

Again, I don't want to make major announcements here. Yet. We're still in the planning stages. We're calling theaters and contacts and friends. We're trying to get people to commit to reading the parts (all new cast members except Sonora) who have some name recognition. Like people you may have heard of. Like really exciting people. We're trying to get people to get people who have connections or deals or contacts at studios to come listen (again, some people you may have heard of or at least heard of their projects). And when I say we? I really mean Sonora and Devon (our new producing partner! yay!). Because my job is still to sit here, at the keyboard, and make the script better. Each and every day.

It's an interesting process. I know the script will change a million different ways in the future if this project continues. I know I may or may not be a part of that. I'm okay with that. But for right now? It's all mine. It's all me. And that's terrifying. And exhilarating.

I'm not changing huge chunks of the script. I'm finessing things. I'm making things funnier, better I hope. Because that's what rewriting is all about.

So...things are moving forward. And it's exciting. People believe in this project, in me. And I can't tell you what that means to me. After all these years, after all these hours alone here in front of this screen. It's amazing. It's amazing to sit in a room with people and talk about theaters and blow dryers (you'll see, I'm funny!) and talent (i.e., the cast) and Hollywood people. It's truly amazing.

But for now? For now I have to open up the file on my computer again and get back to work. Because without pages, there's nothing to read...

October is over

That's right, the month of me, the month of my birth, is over. And, part of it was all about me as I wanted it to be. Part of it wasn't. (See going home to Michigan for my grandmother's funeral, see working as a freelance editor and being at the mercy of others schedules and needs, see dealing with college students, see a nice little recurrence of vertigo).

But...I did really focus on doing things for myself. I was conscious about what I ate, what I drank (I was very conscious of having to buy a new bottle of tequila last week because the last one was empty), and what I did. I moved more. I walked almost every day. I did my squat and plank challenges. Yesterday I did 200 squats. In a row. I have never done that before. It wasn't easy, but it certainly wasn't impossible. And I'm going to do it again this month! I also held a plank for about 2.5 minutes. Not the 5 the challenge said I should be able to hold at this point but it's a lot longer than I could hold a plank on October first (about 10 seconds).

Will I keep going in November? Yes. Though baseball is over (damn Red Sox), the leaves are crispy and falling (even here in Los Angeles), and the mornings and nights are much cooler, the sun still shines and every day is still another day I'm alive. A day to work, to write, to move, to laugh, to love.

I'm going to do an ab challenge, the same squat challenge, and my walking challenge this month. I'm going to look forward to some time with friends and time alone, at my desk or with a good book (Detroit True Crime anyone?). I'm going to look forward to Christmas and going home in just a few weeks. I'm going to remember that even though October is over, I can still focus on me. And that's an okay thing to do.