Since the day I moved to Los Angeles I've been aware that I need to network. To figure out this town, this industry, this life. I've been aware that I have to meet people who are people, or who know people, who want to work with me. That like my work and who need my skills. It's such an odd and different perspective on working than I ever had before I moved here.
So, for the past five years, I've been working on it. Networking. In grad school at UCLA it was taking time to go out to the bar after class at 11pm when I would much rather have gone home to bed. Then it became keeping up with the people I graduated with. Social media, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, emails, it's time consuming. I started a writing group to network with like minded writers. I went to social events and screenings and panels and did it all as much as I could. I struck up conversations with people in line or next to me. I exchanged cards and responded to Linked In requests even though I still don't really see the point of Linked In. I met for coffee and exchanged scripts and gave detailed notes and sometimes, got notes back. Sometimes. And never detailed.
And so, for the last year or so, I've been trying to rethink my strategies. I've been working to network more efficiently, more effectively. And, it's finally paying off. And I've realized, it's a lot more enjoyable.
I've figured out, for me, that it's more about the quality of the networking than the quantity. If I spend three hours at a mixer and come away with two cards of people who've maybe written something or are wanting to write, that does me no good. But if I spend an hour having coffee with an old acquaintance, and we leave having had a wonderful conversation and agreeing to work together, I call it a win. And recently, I've been trying to do much more coffee and much less mixing. (Also, coffee is way cheaper than crappy drinks and I'll gladly buy tons of coffee to sit and actually hear the conversation rather than try to teeter on heels, straining to hear snippets of talk.) Also, I'm not saying that I won't keep going to mixers or panels or screenings but only if I want to. Not because I think they'll help me find the keys to the city.
Flashforward to this weekend. To Saturday. To the morning I spent having coffee and tea with a friend from film school. We'd kept up since graduating but it was becoming harder and harder to carve out in person time. Facebook and Twitter kept us abreast of jobs and families and relationships but it's never the same. So we plopped down Saturday morning to catch up. And it was lovely. And comfortable. And enlightening. And such a wonderful friendship experience with a sweet side of networking. I love that.
Then Saturday afternoon I put on my best "fussy" outfit (that's what the invitation called for, fussy attire -- I wore bright colors, big dangling earrings and high heels) and headed out to another friends Women in Entertainment Tea Party.
I wasn't sure what to expect but my expectations were blown out of the water just the same. Over the course of four hours I had fascinating conversations, met women from all facets of the entertainment industry, laughed, told stories, listened, ate really good food, drank tea, exchanged contact information, and ended the evening with a teacup full of really good champagne. I mean, seriously, you can't ask for a better day.
And the best part? I didn't just "network" like people in Hollywood keep telling us to do. I met people. Real live people, women, with jobs and dreams and interesting stories. I made connections. Not just business connections but life connections over topics as diverse as neighborhoods, musical tastes, daily work trials, teaching, comedy, even neighborhood watch clubs!
Also? I made friends. I didn't just exchange cards with people who might or might never acknowledge me again. By the time I got home Saturday night I had several friend requests, new Twitter followers, and last night, one of the women I met emailed me a draft of a skit. This is real people. This isn't lip service.
This is women coming together and being intent on making relationships and helping one another and being awesome, together. This is lifting each other up and celebrating accomplishments and sharing stories. This is awesome. This is what I've been looking for since I got to L.A.!
How many of these new friendships will continue? I can't predict the future. But I do know that there are women out there who are looking for the same thing as me -- a different way to make it in this town, in this industry, in this life. Frankly, just in life in general. And I love that we've started to find one another. Because, really, in life, when you find your people, your community, that's half the battle.
2 comments:
Mary Anne Kennedy Lyberg
Keeping it simple does pay off:)
Tom Knapp
Sounds like a great time
Here is why LinkedIn is useful to me…it's hard to keep track of current/former coworkers/colleagues, partly due to the fact that nowadays people never send out the "I'm leaving employer/job and here is my new contact info" anymore. It is also a place to hold your entire resume/CV (since resumes tend to be tailored to a specific job position, this is where you can have the whole thing in "pure" form). I also see it as easy, passive networking…I friended all the execs at our campus who have accounts, as well as my chain of command. They all now know my background, even if my resume has never come across their desk. It also helps me see their background, which makes me better prepared when I have to give a presentation to them.
As far as networking, I totally agree…give me one-on-one time any day over mass chaos. Maybe it's my bias from being in SWE (Society of Women Engineers), but I find networking with women so much easier than with men. You can strike up a conversation with a woman in a professional networking situation, and in fifteen minutes know her personal life, career, education, and what she wants to do (I met my two "Jewish moms" this way). With a man, I typically walk away with far more knowledge about their current job assignment than I ever wanted to know and a business card…they tend to focus on the sales pitch to a fault. You know who I will remember better? The woman, every time, because of the content of the conversation.
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