As often happens in the early winter months of January and February, I am sick. A head cold. No big whoop. But...it has slowed my Year of Yes. Tremendously.
Last week I kept it together for a few days. I thought I was getting over my sniffles. But alas, it was just the beginning of something bigger. And I had to spend a long stretch on the couch. I'm getting better at this. Sure I was bummed, I couldn't hitch a ride with Angela to San Diego and hang out in a nice hotel on the water for two days. I was all excited to walk on the beach and write with the waves in the background but no.
Instead I laid on the couch while she was gone, watched a lot of Netflix, ate soup and oranges and tried not to cough too much. It was fine. It was what it was and I was thankful to get lots of rest.
But then I had to say no to several invitations. A movie with friends. A dance class. And I got sad. I got sad because this was supposed to be my year of yes, god dammit! And here I was saying no!
But then I remembered what Ms. Rhimes wrote in her book, "Say yes to saying no." And I reconciled reality with that. Yes, I wanted to go to the movies Saturday night. Yes, I was excited to be asked by this friend who'd never asked this of me before. But was that best for me? No. By 9:30 Saturday night my eyes were half closed and I had a thick layer of Vicks on my chest. I would not have been good company. So I was saying yes to saying no. And I felt okay about it. Good about it even.
As I've been thinking so much about saying yes this year I have to remember to say yes to me too. I have to say yes to uninterrupted blocks of time to work. I have to say yes to making the time for exercise. I have to say yes to the $18.39 bag of apples because I love them, they're the best tasting, and even if they do cost an arm and a leg, I'm worth it.
Saying no is hard. Shonda also talks in her book about how no is a complete sentence. No. I need to work on that. I need to be steadfast in my nos just as I am with my yeses. And the best part about the year of yes? It's continual. It's a process. It's not a one and done deal. I get to keep learning and trying and figuring out what's right for me. We all do. That yes and that no have to be our truest answers. Nothing else matters.
2 comments:
If saying "No" isn't hard then one is doing it wrong - that's my conclusion.
Jamee Boutell Brick No as a complete sentence is nearly impossible for me....
Evangeline Williams Kelly Wonderful reminder about how sometimes saying 'no' is really just saying 'yes' to caring for yourself and what your body needs. Not that I'm gonna remember the advice when it comes to saying no to doing things while sick, or an extra slice of pizza....
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