Guest Blogger - The Days are Long, but the Years are Short

Today, my little sister, Angela Leigh Knapp, turns forty years old. She wrote about this and asked if she could post it here. I'm honored. Happy Birthday, Angela. 

Some of my most vivid childhood memories are of driving in the car with my dad and he would ask me what I saw for my future. With the scent of wood chips in the air and wind blowing through my hair on warm Michigan days we would make plans to win the lottery and live our best lives. Sometimes he would ask where I would want to live if I could live anywhere? And sometimes it was what do you see yourself doing after college? During these conversations I never felt pressure, never felt that he wanted something specific for me, he was actually interested in what I thought. I honestly don’t remember much about my answers, I probably just wanted a credit card and to be a teacher. 

I have been on an incredible journey; one I couldn’t have imagined as a child in a small midwestern town in the 1980s. I have lived a life of privilege. I attended good public schools, was part of a loving church family, and college was not a choice, it was an expectation. When it became apparent that I had a chronic illness, my family let nothing stand in the way of finding the best doctors and seeking treatment for me, even when it meant going out of state and out of our health plan coverage area.

When I accepted a job across the country my friends and family loaded up a U-Haul and made my dream a reality. And when I called my mom, crying, begging her to come and get me because it was a horrible mistake, she said no, to which I will be forever grateful to her. 

That little girl dreaming big dreams with her dad has since graduated from college three times, lived in as many states, and has a job she loves. That little girl had no idea that she wanted to live in Los Angeles, and somedays, she’s still unsure. That little girl had no idea what 40 would look like. It was so far away, it seemed it would never come. But it has. Today, August 19, 1980, at 4:17 AM (EST) I turned 40 years old. I know society tells me I should feel old and sad, that the best times are behind me, but I don’t. 

I loved being a teenager, I had great friends, did well in school, had a large, loving family. My twenties were such a blast, so many memories, trials and successes. Honestly my thirties are a bit of a blur. I remember turning 30 and now it’s 10 years later, doesn’t seem possible!

My school district is always back for my birthday, so no big plans were made for my 40^th. I had intended to celebrate a bit early on a cruise in Alaska with three of my favorite people in the whole wide world. We were going to see sled dog puppies and blow glass! But as we all know, this year had its own plans. So instead, we have quarantined at Club Cleon and it has been life changing. This wasn’t just a move over the hill, this move has created a peace in my soul I didn’t know I was missing. 

Many years ago, someone, I can’t remember who, said to me, the days are long, but the years are short. This quote has stuck with me and I use it as a mantra. When work gets tough and I want to scream into a pillow, when a migraine comes on and I can’t remember not having a headache, when I am so lost, I can’t see a way out, I say this to myself. It is calming to me. It reminds me that this will pass. This day is one of so many yet to live. I am proud of the woman I have become. I don’t think we say that about ourselves enough. I am proud of the work that I do to make others’ lives better. I am proud of the relationships that I have with friends and family and I am proud of the work I have done on myself to get to this point. 

No matter how old you are, be proud of yourself and keep working on yourself, the days are long but the years are short.