Mental Health

I am a big believer in the tenet that if your mind is not well, you are not well. Over the past few weeks I have been stressing. It's just life, and I realize this. It's my first rejection from film school, it's not knowing about the others schools, it's the realization that I am indeed moving to Los Angeles, in just a few months. It's work which is getting busier and exponentially more stressful - kids with drugs, pregnancy scares, black eyes, claims of harassment and bullying, kids running away, parents pulling kids out to home school them, etc. Add in the fact that I was sick for over a month and just now finally feel better and you've got the makings of a good, old-fashioned breakdown. Oh, and add in the fact that I can't seem to lose any weight and even with spinning 3 days a week and weight classes, nothing seemed to work. Not Weight Watchers, not anything.

So I took today off. I was feeling exhausted and beat down. I have been going to bed by 9pm most nights, physically exhausted after 10 and 12-hour workdays. Report cards were done Wednesday, we start AIMS prep with the kids Monday, golf is going well, so I knew today was the day. Luckily my trusty sub accepted the job and I got to stay home (of course it took me 2 hours after school yesterday to prepare for my day off but that's beside the point).

And I feel better. I feel as if my mind has cleared some. I got up and cleaned out my inbox, cleaned some of the house, emptied the dishwasher, walked 4 miles with my VHS friends, did laundry, rested, watched 15 minutes of a really dumb reality TV show, downloaded Sense and Sensibility on audio book, and began to write.

I am working on Molly's story, for those of you following the (slow) process of my novel's creation. And I feel like I've been at a standstill for a while with her but I think I'm getting through it which is awesome. For those of you who want something to read, let me know and maybe it'll provide me with the peer pressure I need to get going and finish it already!!!

This will be another busy week, I am not naive. And I know one day off won't take away all the stress in my life. But I feel better, happy, and I am glad for that. We have conferences next Wed., Thurs., and Friday so those will be very long days (12 hours for a few). And then we're going to drive to Texas to spend Easter and a week with Jamee and her family which I am so excited about. I know it will be just what I need to relax and enjoy life for a while.

Some other things I figured out today:
- I think I need to quit the YMCA. I've loved going there, and loved spin but my back has been bothering me a lot lately and I know I need to focus on other types of activity. So I am going to save my shekels (the Y's not cheap) and use my walking tapes and try to get to yoga class at the yoga studio once in a while. I wish there were more aerobic classes at the Y, I could take but they are mostly during the day when I'm at school. So we'll see what happens.
- I have changed my eating habits and I am thankful for that. While I ate mini eggs and jelly beans this week, and enjoyed pizza last night, I'm also eating fruit and vegetables and maintaining my weight (but not losing, we'll focus on the positive for today I guess).
- There are free audio books on iTunes if you go to iTunes University and don't mind that it's not a celebrity reader.
- I miss the people at my job when I'm not there, but not really the job.
- Diet Coke gives me headaches. I've been drinking a lot of it lately (it was really cheap a month ago and Ang and I stocked up) and I finally realized today that that's the cause. I've been working on it for a while. So no more Diet Coke, at least not in vast quantities, and not for a while.
- I miss having people over to my house so I am going to fix that tomorrow by having 3 girls for work over for dinner!
-That I need to forget about the bill and turn the AC on when it gets to be 92 degrees outside.
- That I miss golfing. Coaching has reminded me of the sport I used to love to play. The kids were great Wednesday, we had only 24 come back (I had to kick several off the team that afternoon at school for grade and behavior issues - and yes, there were tears, and yes, they came from boys). We sent 10 out to play the course and they came back with awesome scores. And we kept the 14 in and did driving range, chipping, and putting practice and they did so great. We had one girl's 7 year old brother join us too and we just had fun. We're off for 3 weeks (conferences and spring break) but I really can't wait for our next outing!!!

So this turned into a really long blog, thanks for listening:-)

100, 43, 39, 30

These numbers have been significant the past two days. Here's why:

100 - We started our golf season Tuesday at lunchtime with a meeting. Over 100 kids showed up to my classroom that usually seems insane with 30 people in it. We managed to get rid of about 40 kids by the time the meeting had ended. We sent kids with failing grades and without afternoon rides back to class. Then we shouted over the others and tried to scare them into deciding if golf was really for them. Most decided it was. Even the kids we fight with every single day. So Ang and I got ready for our first practice with much anxiety. How many would show?

43 - It turns out that some of the group really was serious. Yesterday we had our first practice at the course. When we got there at 1:45, there were already 10 kids there. Some with golf clubs and championship t-shirts. Some with baggy pants and iPods. All had a lot of energy and loud voices. By the time we got started just after two we had 43 kids around us. We ended up sending 4 home, they'd walked to Jack in the Box and hitched a ride with another parent and their own didn't know where they were. These are some of our troublesome kids so we were not sad at all to see them go. That left us with 39 kids and 2 adults. On a public golf course that was swarming with snowbirds. Yeah. But it went really really well. We split up into 3 groups and had the returning 8th grades take one group to the putting green to do a little putting clinic. Then Ang took a group and went over etiquette while I took the group who'd never been on a course before. I told them about clubs and balls and tees, they all got to hold a club and practice gripping it. Then we took a walk out to the first hole and explored a little. They were surprisingly excited to be out there. What surprised me the most was a few of the kids who I never thought would come out for golf.

There was Eric - my student who dresses as if he's straight out of the 1950s. He cuffs his dark jeans and rolls his white tee-shirt sleeves. And he secretly likes being called a greaser. He wore a Johnny Cash t-shirt to the course and a hat that I'm sure my grandpa wore 40-some years ago. And the pickup truck his greaser brother picked him up in was straight out of the 50s. Then there was Kevin - Ang's kid with the mohawk who I met Monday in detention where he wrote an excellent essay about skate park rules. Then there was my student Kayla who I didn't even realize was at golf meeting. Apparently she's been playing golf since age 3 and has won several city championships. Yay girl power! Next was Derrick, a special education student I knew only from the constant reprimands I seemed to have to give him during our hour and a half together. However, as we waited an extra half hour for his ride (and others), Ang told me what a good kid he was and we got a chance to talk and I realized that one-on-one, he really calmed down and seemed super sweet. There there were the only other 2 girls who showed who have never touched more than a mini-golf putter. And on, and on....I can't wait to see who sticks it out and who comes back next week.

It was also great to see our 8th graders who have grown up a lot in the past year. They acted very proud when asked to run the putting clinic. But my favorite was when JD came over and said, "Ms. Knapp, the one in the orange shirt just won't listen to me!" I secretly smiled and hoped they now realize a little of what it's like to be the one in the front of the room yelling all the time!

30 - that's miles per hour, as in how fast the wind was throwing sand at us while we were on the course. I could barely hold onto my etiquette packet or clipboard of permission slips. Needless to say, I went home and straight into the shower!

So yeah, golf season has begun. And were counting on adding another trophy to our collection!

My first film school response...

"Dear Sarah, We have concluded our review of applications for the Master of Fine Arts in Screenwriting program at The University of Texas at Austin. We regret that we are unable to offer you admission for Fall 2008. The applicants for our program were exceptionally competitive this year, resulting in many well-qualified applicants being turned away. Our decisions are the result of an extensive review of all the applications and supporting materials, assessing qualifications as well as fit for our program. We wish you well in your future pursuits. Thank you again for your interest in our program."

This is the email I got yesterday, almost a month ahead of schedule. There were transcript issues, them not getting them six months ago but I placed calls and emails and who knows whatever came of all that. I never actually got to talk to a real person. Also, they had a lot of hoops to jump through and by golly, I jumped, well I thought. But in the end, they didn't want me. Simple as that.

I was sad when I read the email though when I saw it in my box, I guessed what is was. I figure if I get an acceptance it'll come via post. But who knows. Austin had been forth on my list of four schools but it still would have been nice to have been wanted by them.

Three more schools to go, here's hoping I don't get three more letters like this one...

Top Ten on a Tuesday

Top Ten Things That Happened (or didn't happen) on Tuesday

10. I scheduled a parent meeting with a problem student, all his teachers, the vice principal and his parents. Guess who showed up? The kid and his teachers. Fantastic!

9. We got a notice that someone is impersonating maintenance men at our apartment complex and we're to be on alert - and it made the local TV news. Lovely!

8. No one at school was arrested. Yesterday they caught 2 girls with pot, last week it was 2 of my boys. Apparently pot is the drug of choice for preteens.

7. There were gang-related shootings in town. However, they did arrested 4 people on Friday in connection with the Valentine's Night shooting and in the process, 2 elderly people were shot. No idea how that happened. Also, we're still on high alert for gang activity after school bathrooms were damaged by girls claiming revenge for their gang. And we're talking over $5000 worth of damage. Nice.

6. My kids seem to already know there spelling words and it's only Tuesday, I have no idea how this happened.

5. I graded tests from when I was out sick and realized when I was out sick, my kids were out to lunch. Not good.

4. I worked ten hours today and was not wearing ten hour shoes. Ugh.

3. The chicken spinach lasagna we made last night was even better tonight.

2. I decided I am officially sick of both Hillary and Barack. And it's no where near November.

1. We watched "Gone Baby Gone" - the movie co-written and directed by Ben Affleck, starring Casey Affleck and Boston. I thought it was great but then again, I usually like movies. I'm a big fan of most films. It had great acting, some plot twists and can I just say, Casey is an fantastic actor in my opinion. If anyone's asking.

Oh - and here's a bonus:

On Saturday I got a summons in the mail. I was to appear for jury duty next Tuesday. While I've always always always wanted to serve on a jury, it was going to be a big hassle right now with school and arranging for sub, etc. But I was going to suck it up and serve my county! And then I got another summons yesterday, telling me my trial had been canceled. Ah well, better luck next time!

A bunch of wild and crazy girls!

We're home from Vegas, and as much as I anticipated and enjoyed the weekend, I'm glad to be home. Even if we have had 2 earthquakes this afternoon/evening. We had a 5.0 quake while I was still at school, the chalkboards shook but nothing came down thankfully. Then there was a little 2.0er tonight while we were eating supper. Gotta love livin' on a fault line!

So back to Vegas. There were 6 of us who went, our friends Caroline, Becca, Julie and Christina, Angela and I. We left Saturday at 10am and got there about dinner 5pm. It shouldn't have taken so long except we got a bit mixed up on the drive and ended up on the back side of Joshua Tree, not where we wanted to be. But the trip there is always fun and we sang along to the radio, watched a movie, got a little car sick, ate at McDonald's (even though I really didn't want to and surprisingly, I did not enjoy it at all), and finally got into the city. We checked in to the Excalibur and headed up to our rooms to relax and get ready because we were going out on the town.

We donned our best duds and cutest shoes (they were cute at 7pm, not so cute at 4am) and hit the walk way to New York, New York. We had Scililian pizza and then walked across the street to buy our bus passes ($5 for 24 hours, much cheaper than the limo we wanted to take). Then we loaded onto the bus with every other Vegas tourist and headed down the strip.

Caroline had a friend who's an accountant at a casino so he was able to get us on to 2 VIP lists for the night. First we went to Tao, in the Venetian, which is the hot spot of the moment. We were told to go early so we got there before 10pm. Once there what happened was very cool. We inquired as too who's list we were on (there are many VIP lists come to find out) and waited while our names were located. Then we were whisked past the 100 or so people already in line. You're herded in almost like cattle, the restaurant on the bottom was so full, and stamped on the inside of your wrist with an Asian symbol that glows in ultraviolet light and shuffled up the stairs. That's where the club is. It wasn't completely full yet and we were able to get to the bar very easily. Julie and I were served by a female bartender who charged us $12 for a vodka and water. Angela and the rest of the girls were served by a male bartender who charged them $10 for the same drink. Disgusted, I stuck a matchbook in my pocket. But what I loved was later when Becca went to order another drink she got the woman and before being told a price, she stuck a ten on the bar and walked away! You go Brit Girl!

So here's the low-down on Tao. It was kinda dark, with a crowded dance floor, really crowded. The music which came from the walls, we never saw a DJ or band, was Asian in theme and loud but not bad. Also, woman from the crowd were pulled up to dance with women who worked there on what looked to me like a big curb at the front of the dance floor. We danced for a while but we decided to leave pretty early because it kept getting more crowded and warmer, and because someone was letting off toxic farts. Seriously. It was horrible, you'd be dancing away and this horrible smell would come over you. A cool place that I was so glad to get to experience but would not have paid $50 to get into and so would not have waited in line for hours (when we left there were hundreds circling the club waiting).

So we decided to head over to the Bellagio, to their new club The Bank. This is the other happening spot of the moment and after a few moments our names were located and we were whisked up the escalator right into the heart of the club. Immediately we liked this place better. We recognized the music and it was just very cool. Exactly what I had imagined. We paid for our drinks ($15 for a vodka and water here - yep, the cooler the bar, the more you pay) and found a spot over looking the dance floor. While most of us never made it down to the floor, we did plenty of dancing right where we were and the music was awesome. A mix of old, new, hip-hop, rock, very cool mixes by a DJ with a MacBook (Ang now thinks she can rule a club!). Let's see, what else - oh yes, there is no free water at the Bank, just an FYI. You can't get tap and a glass bottle of about 4oz of Evian runs 7 bucks! And a plain soda is $6. Guess we now know why it's called the bank! But they do some cool things, they light sparklers and do a little sparkler parade every time someone orders a bottle of champagne. Which is surprisingly often. We stuck to cheaper drinks and were not shy when the older British guys next to us offered rounds of Bud Light. I didn't want to be rude so I held my bottle for a long time before switching with one of the girls. Beer's just not my thing. But it was a sweet gesture and they seemed to enjoy buying them!

Oh, and another note - there is no seating at these clubs. Unless you are willing to shell out a few hundred bucks to buy at least 2 bottles of alcohol, that'll get you a couch and a table. Maybe next time....though I still can't imagine throwing out 50 bucks just to get in the door! It's much cooler to be a VIP and leave everyone else in the dust!

We ended up staying until about 3am which was 4am our time and then we had to find the bus stop and walk a few blocks back to our hotel. This would not have been so bad except for the fact that we all had cute shoes on. And by this point, blisters and pain beyond our capacity to bear. So we had some girls without shoes and some girls laughing at those girls. What a night! Needless to say, when my head hit the pillow around 5am, I had never been so happy!

Sunday we found our way to the Zappos.com outlet and Fashion Show mall, much to the chagrin of my feet, and the got dressed up again for dinner at Chin Chin's in NYNY. This is also the night I learned how to play roulette. No, I didn't win, in fact I lost my 20 bucks in 2 spins but it was fun! And next time I'll look for a smaller buy in!

Monday we hit the Cheesecake Factory in Caesar's after a return trip to the mall (Ang's newly purchased iPod case was cracked and needed to be returned) and then headed home, driving into Yuma about 8pm. Home sweet home! Never thought I'd say that about Yuma:-)

Quite a week

Whew, it feels like this has been a very long week and it's not even finished yet. I'm trying to think back to what has happened and while some of it seems a blur, certain moments stick out like a bruised toenail. (Not that you'd be able to tell on my freshly pedicured toesies, they're purple!)

- I missed 4 days of work: last Friday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I managed to go on Tuesday, mostly because I was expected to present a writing lesson to my first hour class and eight of my fellow teachers/bosses. They were all evaluating me and while I wasn't necessarily nervous, I wanted to do it and do it well. I went and I presented and then somehow read the final 2 chapters of The Outsiders to each of my 3 classes before collapsing in bed for a 2 hour nap. The good news is I passed my evaluation with a perfect score.

- The major highway between Yuma and San Diego was shut down for 24 hours yesterday due to SNOW. Yes, that's right, SNOW. In sunny southern California. Mother Nature's gone looney.

- I have read 2.5 books this week and every magazine in the house. This is terribly exciting to me. I finally got through Prep which was very good, just like the New York Times said, and then read Meg Cabot's Queen of Babble which is addictively good, and now I'm almost done with Kristen Gore's Sammy's House (a follow-up to Sammy's Hill which was great and so is this one, a great comedic peak at the White House and Capitol Hill from someone with insider knowledge (she's Al Gore's daughter) and the comedic chops (she won an Emmy for writing on SNL)).

- There was a shooting last night, at the Yuma Palms Mall. The mall Ang and I frequent on a weekly basis. It happened about 8:30pm, outside the movie theaters, on Valentine's night (tons of restuarants right there) when there was no school today. It's a wonder only one person was killed and another injured. Apparently a 16 year old shot an 18 year old. Gang-related. Yes, I feel safe in my own backyard.

- Ang and I attended Yuma County's Professional Day for Teachers today, which really wasn't a good use of an in-service day. I could have been developing lesson plans, lessons, putting in grades, figuring midterms, reading sub reports, mapping curriculum, ANYTHING else. But no, I was there. Listening to grand ideas and things I already knew. Yep yep.

- Oh yeah, did I mention the writer's strike ended?!?!?! (Yay!)

- Ang and I treated ourselves to pedicures today, which is the best 20 bucks ever spent can I just tell you. It's so relaxing to sit there reading, having someone pamper you so. This signals 2 things. One, summer is near in Yuma; it's sandal season! And two, we're heading to Vegas tomorrow morning! There are 6 of us going and word on the street is we've got our names down on the VIP lists at several hot clubs which essentially means we pay for drinks but not a cover (which I understand can be 50 bucks and up). We're so money baby! We'll be back Monday (assuming we don't hit the jackpot!).

- Happy long weekend everyone!

100 long days

That's how long the Writer's Strike lasted. Although in ways, it seems like it's been going on a lot longer. I've mostly forgotten what good broadcast television looked like (thank goodness Lost brought us out of that reality TV hell that had been festering). But it's over!

This LA Times article offers a good summation of what came from the agreement. It's not the perfect resolution but a lot of ground was made and the contract, which will be voted on at the end of the month, will last three years. That's good news for me because within the next three years I'll hopefully be a lot closer to being a member of the Guild.

The good news for all of you is that many of your favorite TV characters will grace your screens with new dialogue come April and May and certainly next fall. Some of the bigger shows (i.e., CSI, Grey's, etc.) will be back sooner but the most important part is they'll be back. And Hollywood is back to work today.

Wish I could say the same for me. I'm down and out again with this darn cold, and according to the Physician's Assistant at PrimeCare, I have an upper respiratory infection. All I got was some decongestent and nose spray (that burned when I used it, nice). Here's hoping a few days of rest will have me back on my feet for Saturday - Vegas baby!

Apparently we're overdue

2nd UPDATE: at about 9:45pm we had another aftershock although really, it just feels like another earthquake. This one was a 5.0 and Ang and I just stopped and looked at each other. It lasted a little longer than the other ones and as soon as it started, the birds in the tree outside our window flew away. The door shook this time, and the TV table and I still felt like I was shaking a minute or two afterwards. We have yet to come up with an emergency plan but figured we should because we were both sitting here on the bed and I was like, should we be here, should we go downstairs or something? Ang thinks we're supposed to go into a room without windows but I think I'll do some research tomorrow to figure out exactly what to do. It doesn't seem to be a good idea to stay on the second floor during one but by the time I had decided to move it was over. Man, at least with tornadoes you have enough warning to get to safety. This is crazy!!!!

UPDATE: We've had about five aftershocks since this morning's earthquake, only one of which I've felt - it registered a 3.6. We're shaking here in Yuma!!!

I have survived my first two earthquakes in three days. Yes, I know, it's weird to me too. I grew up hearing about earthquakes as things that happened on the other side of the world, in far off places I never imagined I'd live in. But now there's a different reality - I live in the southwest which is prime earthquake territory. Go figure, something else I didn't see in the brochure...

Friday night I went to bed early, before 10pm. I read for a few hours and around 12:15am, the wall next to my bed shook. My bed is right up against the wall so I felt it, for a few seconds and thought it must have been a semi-truck or something, read a while longer and fell asleep. It wasn't until Ang asked me the next day if I felt the earthquake did I connect the dots. I grew up on a busy street in Howell, Michigan and that street had semis going down it frequently. Our house shook at times because of these trucks and because of how close we were to the road. Our living room has cracks in the walls and paint because of them, and I remember lying in bed at night, feeling them go by. So I didn't realize that this wasn't a truck.

It was an earthquake. A 5.1 earthquake that left 400,000 people without power and 1,200,000 people without cell phone services - mostly in Mexicali, Baja, Mexico where the quake originated. Mexicali's just over an hour southwest from Yuma. And then this morning, about 11:30am, I was lying on Angela's bed reading and all of a sudden, I felt it. Another 5.1 earthquake.

At first I heard the vase on her bookcase shake and then the bed started to move and it continued to move for maybe 20 seconds. It was weird, there was no noise, just the movement that was strong enough to move me on a queen-size bed, on the second floor of a condo. At first I thought, no, it can't be, I'm hyper-sensitive now. But then I thought, maybe, what else could it be. Five minutes later when Ang called it had been confirmed, I wasn't the only one who felt something - her desk and computer shook and other teachers noticed it as well.

You can check out this article to learn more but apparently we're, as in Yuma, is overdue for a larger quake. I'm not terribly excited by this news. That shaking was more than enough for me. I wasn't scared but I began thinking about all the things in my house and whether or not I should move them off their perches or maybe pack them away. I won't because I realize this is the first tremor I've had since I've moved here but it got me thinking. Yes, I still plan to move to L.A. and yes, I realize they are more prone to quakes over in sunny California, but I guess earthquakes are really no different from the snow and cold or tornadoes we have back in Michigan. Weather is crazy, it's scary and it's dangerous. I'm just thankful all that happened was a little shake this time.

Sick Day

Turns out I wasn't overreacting on Monday, I did get sick and then sicker. By Thursday I was losing my voice which wouldn't be too big of a deal except for the fact that I have to talk all day long. And we were reading the climax of The Outsiders and my kids really love it when I read it to them so of course I did which means by 1:35pm I had no voice left. Then I had to sit through an hour and 20 minute parent meeting. Needless to say, I put in for a sick day today. And of course, there were no subs.

But some of my fellow teachers are awesome and they came to my students' rescue and gave spelling tests and retaught point of view and figured out what a heater is in our novel (a gun, if you were wondering). And I stayed in bed.

I am feeling better, not great but hopefully I am healing. I slept ten hours then watched 2 and 1/2 movies (half of Bridget Jones' Diary, Shall We Dance, and A Walk to Remember) and 20 minutes of an infomercial before I realized it wasn't just a long commercial. I ate soup and crackers, drank camomille tea and had 3000 mgs of vitamin C (a co-worker who's husband is a doctor said these were the best remedies), pushed down as much water as I could handle, drank Airborne three times, and stuck to a regimine of Mucinex. Here's hoping we kick this cold's butt!

Not much else is happening. I am going to lay low this weekend, sleep and read and watch movies and rest. We finished the final season of Arrested Development tonight (and did you hear about the potential movie!?!?!?! YES, they're really talking about it!!!!!) and have some Netflix to catch up on. What is everyone else up to?

Odds and ends

I haven't posted in a few days and feel the need to communicate, even if it's just a briefing. So here goes:

- I am getting sick/sick/maybe over-reacting about sickness. I have pains in my chest, my throat hurts and I stuffy. Also my voice is getting weird.

- I have a formal observation tomorrow, my second in two weeks, and I am determined to get EVERY SINGLE box checked this time (I missed 2 last time and while that still equals an excellent observation - I need perfection!).

- I am one-twelfth of the way through reading the Bible.

- I am getting my taxes done Wednesday afternoon at H&R Block. And while getting all my stuff together I found out I spent $510.27 on school supplies last year. That's gotta count for something...

- I am all caught up on my Entertainment Weeklies and Newsweeks. Thank goodness, they really were starting to pile up.

- I have all of my outfits figured out for our President's Day trip to Vegas. It was a real dilemma figuring out what was "club" wear, etc. but I think I've got good options, all of which have been photographed to ensure that I don't look horrible.

- I am effectively addicted to online Facebook scrabble. And thank you to all of you who support and encourage this habit.

- I have not read any of the seven new books sitting next to my bed and this saddens me. Someday...

- The Writer's Strike may or may not be close to settlement. If it settles in a week or so we'll get the Oscar's and possibly some hour-long new dramas this season. If not, the rest of the season's a wash. Thank goodness for DVDs. We've been going through Arrested Development again, all three seasons, and the commentaries. If you haven't seen this show or heard the commentaries, run to Target and buy the DVDs. Best. Show. Ever.

- I am going to bed now. I am tired and achy and feeling blah. And I need to shower in the morning and get to work on time and I already know that'll be a struggle. Wish me luck!

There are these moments...

do you ever get them or am I alone? When your chest starts to feel tight and burn and the tears are there, right inside the rims of your eyes but not quite falling because you will them not to but they want to come, they really do. When life seems just a little too much to bear. It's just hard. And yes, I know, everyone has their burdens and their crosses to bear and I should be grateful, oh so grateful I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have people in my life who love me but sometimes it's just all a little too much.

It's paying the bills and the budget and the checkbook NEVER EVER EVER seem to match. As many times as I hold the calculator and the pencil and try with all my brain power, it never matches. And to add insult to injury, there's never quite enough money when it gets to days like this, days before the next month's paycheck. Days when you go to the grocery store and you buy all the healthy food you are supposed to be eating and the whole grains and the vegetables and the organic milk and you end up putting it on credit, someone else's credit to boot, and you know that come Friday you can write that check but still. it's just a little too much.

And the tears start to spill. And work is hard and there's never enough time to sit with the kids who need to be sat with and there's not enough energy to plan the really cool lessons because the problem kids suck the life right out of you. And then just a little more, and a little more, and just a little more is asked of you until you break and you snap at an undeserving child. And it's just more than you can bear so you go home and leave the tests ungraded and the room messy and the boards unerased.

And you wonder what's the point? And you wonder why you ever think you're special enough to do something more. And you watch a movie that is everything you've ever wanted to write and work on and be a part of and you get excited to write and be a part of it and then you get to thinking. And that little voice reminds you that it will be hard. Really hard. Harder than all of this life right now combined and you wonder, what makes me think I can ACTUALLY do this? What makes me think this is more than a pipe dream? What makes me think I deserve to do something as frivilous as this when there are people in my life and in all of life stuck in jobs they hate just trying to make ends meet, and my ends too for that matter? And you think, if it's hard now, it will be impossible later. Impossible.

And then you think, should I erase the ranting, now-soggy blog and just go to bed or should I post and let the world know that at this moment, it's rough. I think I'll take a page from one of my favorite rockstar's blog and put it up there for all to see. Put myself out there. Because there are these moments...

Circles

I feel a bit like I've just been going in circles lately. Definately at spin class, which is the good kind of circles but in other areas. At work - I have been doing some paperwork, the team leader part of my job, and I feel as if I just go in circles. Fill out this, no this, now do this, no do this instead. And I feel like it's circles here too - I am just holding, treading water waiting for something else to happen.

But I think it's okay too. I've been reading my bible a lot lately and relearning some great lessons. And I'm trying new tactics at work - tough love with my kids that so far is getting the results I want (BETTER BEHAVIOR!). I need to write more but it seems like by the time I go to work at 6:30 (and try as I might I just can't get up any earlier) then get home after 3, go to the gym, come home, eat, read my bible, catch up on Newsweek or do one scrapbook page, boom it's done - the day is over! Ah well, hopefully the circles are leading me somewhere. (As I write this I feel it circling too - maybe I need sleep!).

And yet, I am looking forward. I've started collecting boxes at work. I'm getting my kids ready for their big AIMS test. I'm thinking ahead to the move and school and a job and what it would be like to work on an amazing television show (although, as Ang reminds me Arrested Development was canceled a few years ago so I can't work there even though I really really want to).

So I guess the good thing is circles can break, they can join, they can become circle eights, squares, triangles, all sorts of things. And that's a very good thing.

A weekend of movies

That's right! On this, my three day weekend I saw 4 movies! So here's a little bit of a review for those who care.

Friday night we watched Sicko - Michael Moore's documentary about the United State's healthcare problems. It was heart-wrenching and terrifying and yet, funny and somewhat upbeat. I think everyone should watch this movie if for no other reason than to spark conversation and debate. And to help Angela raise money to move to France (she's been lobbying for Cuba but I told her she's probably better off trying for France but you never know!).

Saturday we caught a matinee of 27 Dresses, the new romantic comedy with Katherine Hiegel and James Marsden. I had heard not so great reviews of this movie but thought it looked cute so we gave it a shot. Low and behold, it had a great plot, great dialogue, and great acting. Really, a fun way to spend an few hours!

Then we watched two movies Saturday night - We are Marshall and The Ex. The Ex was okay. I love love love Zach Braff and Jason Bateman. But it was only a so-so movie and I was glad I only Netflixed it. But We are Marshall, that was an amazing film. I remember wanting to see this when it came out in theaters and never getting the chance but let me tell you, it had me crying from the beginning, gave me chills, a few laughs, and left me satisfied. What a great story, such great acting from the cheerleader to the coaches and wives, and players. And it was very cool to see the backstories at the end. A must see in my book!

Not a lot else happened this weekend. There was grocery shopping and scrapbooking and catching up on some reading and online scrabble playing and some cooking and baking. Also, I've decided to vote for any candidate who promises mandatory three-day weekends. I think they are essential to our human condition!

Not in a million years...

would I have imagined that today I'd inadvertently eat some clams. Yep yep. It happened. At school. During the reward activity.

So here's the difference between every other school I've ever been to in my thirty years and the school I teach at: rewards here do not constitute popcorn or ice cream but raspados and some weird concoction served in a glass. First the raspados - they are basically homemade snow cones. Which would be fine except they were running low when my kids got to the front of the line so they got the weird concoction. And because the line was taking too long, the other teachers and I started handing out the concoction and low and behold, I got some of it on my fingers. Thinking it was tomato juice, I licked it off. No big deal. Right. Famous last words.

But here's what was in the concoction - they take a cup and fill it with fried tortilla strips that are rolled and dipped prior to serving. They're kinda like churros, which I see people mostly at Sam's Club. Anyway. They fill the cup with these churro/cheeto looking things and pour in what I thought was tomato juice. But no - it's clamato juice. And then they top it with diced cucumber. And that's called a reward here. In my book it's called gross but to each culture their own....

The kids seemed to really like this, at least the Mexican kids. I'll find out more tomorrow as this was the end of the day. But after I licked all the clamato juice off my fingers I realized what it was. And then it dawned on me, I'm allergic to clamato juice (all shellfish technically). And I started to freak a little. So here's Ms. Knapp, abandoning her children to go get Benadryl from her purse and buy a diet coke and chug it in front of the kids (a big no-no). So yeah, that was fun today.

I was fine, and probably would have been without the Benadryl anyway since it was so little an amount. But never in a million years would I have guessed they'd serve my kids ground up clams as a reward. It's seriously like I live in another country:-)

I can't sleep...

It's 11:30 and I am wide awake. Which was not the case two hours ago when I fell asleep watching "A Daily Show" (I love that they renamed "The Daily Show" until the writers' strike is over - which for the record, will not be anytime soon). I fell asleep hard, after getting home close to 7, making dinner and watching "Grey's". It was a long day and I know I am exhausted but my mind won't shut down. So I now for a little while it's not worth lying there beating myself up about it.

We had a bit of excitement here today - I ran home to change for the gym and Ang went to the mailbox and she called and told me I had a letter from Cal State Northridge that said "Important Admission Information Enclosed". So we met in the parking lot and I tore open the envelope only to find a username and password to track my application online. But I also received my first email from UCLA today telling my they've received my completed application packet (which is good since it was mailed over a month ago), so I guess we still just have to wait and see. Fingers and toes crossed!

School is crazy right now. We're in the middle of the Mock AIMS which is supposedly helpful to us teachers - letting us know what our kids don't know so we can prepare them for the real AIMS in April. But it's been disorganized and quickly thrown together and I don't know, just insane. I was running around the school this morning - literally running - trying to find supplies and extra tests for my teammates. Just one of the perks of being team leader someone forgot to mention.

But the day had bright sides. I had a parent meeting where both parents showed up (score!) and over and over again said they were backing us, the teachers. They got their kid to admit his bad behavior and problems and I am hoping for some real progress. It's so nice to have parents who don't blame us, the teachers, for their kid's misbehavior or low grades. So that was a great way to end the school day.

Then I ended up staying after school with Ang and her two boys who are staying for extra help on a regular basis. We're becoming friends: I feed them granola bars, they laugh at my jokes, I help them with their tests. It's great to get one-on-one time with kids, it reminds me of what it is we're really doing inside those walls. It's very cool to interact and see them learn. Today one of the boys learned what the word concerned meant. Ang used it in a sentence directed toward him and he said it was cool she used such a big word. When asked, he didn't know what it meant and he's a 14 year old 8th grader. But we practiced using it and I think he'll remember it which is pretty cool. Such a small step but an important one.

I think I'll try sleep again. I have to get up in just over 5 hours and I know that will not be pleasant. Nothing like a 10-hour workday, an hour and a half at the gym, and some good TV to kick the day. I just wish sometimes we could squeak a few extra hours in there.

His sly smile

Isn't it crazy how you can be going along, having a normal boring day and all of a sudden - WHAM! a brick hits you in the gut. That happened this afternoon as I was laying in bed, watching tv, surfing the internet and got an email that a friend I had in college, while attending the Wesley Foundation, had died. Twenty-eight years old and he died Saturday night. He'd been on MySpace the day before. I'm still trying to find out what happened, emails have been flying back and forth across the country but it doesn't matter in the end.

What matters is that this funny guy I once hung out with on a pretty regular basis is gone. He had gone to CMU to be a youth pastor. While we were all at WMU we'd all been very active at Wesley and I remember most of all his sly smile and how he liked to talk movies. I also remember a pretty vicious game of volleyball:-) I remember his little sister visiting once.

I guess that's good, to carry those memories with me. I am saddened by this news and more so by what the world has lost. But I know that God has another child by His side now. Tonight I pray for his family and for my friends.

It's another year and I'm still in Yuma

Yep, the ball dropped in NYC, and another year dawned. I wonder how people celebrated before that sparkly ball because that's always our go to for New Year's Eve. It was a good year but I for one am mighty excited about what's to come this year.

Today I'm starting the new healthy me project. I've been struggling to be a Weight Watcher for the past month (basically I haven't been, I know this and while I am not proud of it I enjoyed all the cookies, the good food, the chocolates Santa left me, etc. and I realize that no one had a gun to my head and made me eat any of it) so I am getting back on the horse. It's not a diet I have to remind myself (and reading WW Magazine on the plane helped yesterday - they have full page ads saying Diets are mean!) but a healthy way to live. After a while of eating poorly and not moving nearly enough (I did enjoy some quality couch + book time) I start to feel physically gross. So here we go - I have a journal I'll write in (food and all!) and see how it goes. I am glad a lot of you are on this healthy lifestyle journey with me too. I need all the help I can get!

Also, as we flew into Yuma yesterday I got excited thinking about how by this time next year I'll be somewhere else doing something else (hopefully done with one semester of film school - fingers crossed everyone!) and that's pretty cool. Yuma's not a horrible place but gosh, after being in Michigan and Chicago - it doesn't hold a candle. And it would be completely unbearable if it weren't for such awesome friends so I am blessed in that way. Oh and the fact that I have the most amazing massage therapist ever!

I've been up for a couple of hours already though it's only 8:30 here in Yuma. I went to bed around 9:30 last night - I think this thing they call jet lag has set in. But the good news is that my spin class isn't until 4:30 so I don't have to hurry to go anywhere!

I wish you all the best and remember - only 6 more months to come visit me in Yuma (because I know you are all dying too!).

Enjoying Myself

Yes, yes, it's true. I haven't been on the computer much (a few of you have noted this!). But don't fear, I am alive and well and enjoying myself, my family, and my vacation. So far I've read an entire book in 4 days and am almost finished with another I started yesterday. The first was "Julie and Julia", a memoir about a woman named Julie approaching her 30th birhtday who decides to cook every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1 in one year. I highly recommend it, a great read. I constantly wanted to share tidbits with my family, and occassionally did. She talks about politics, living in NYC, chopping up a live lobster, eating entire sticks of butter in one recipe, just great stuff. Now I'm reading "Big Boned" by Meg Cabot which is the third in a cute chick-lit mystery series I am enjoying. Both gifts from Ang! Also, I am beginning Stephen Colbert's "I am America and So Can You" - again, great reading.

In addition to all that literary stuff, we've seen a few movies notably yesterday's "Juno" which features an excellent screenplay and equally excellent actors. Allison Janney, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, J.K. Simmons, Jennifer Garner, and in the title role Ellen Page who can I just say is too beautiful. One of those girls who is ridiculously beautiful like Mrs. Affleck. The story was so good, so well written, one of those that makes me want to do that for a living, for my life. Makes me just want to be a part of GOOD movies, good stories, good stuff. Go see it!

We also saw Shrek 3 last night and can I just say, I hope they're putting the other Shrek's on a hold for a while until they find some new, good story to tell with these characters? It's sad that the best parts of this movie were the gingerbread man's life flashing before his eyes and a few lines by the minor characters like Puss in Boots? So went downhill from the last ones. Glad I only Netflixed it. We're in the middle of Harry Potter 4 right now, we're going to finish it tomorrow when everyone's wide awake and we're hoping to see National Treasure 2 uptown tomorrow too, big plans people!

So yeah, I'm enjoying myself. Another week left on vacation, family to enjoy, another Christmas to celebrate, good times to be had. And yes, I'm loving wearing my cuddle duds under my new hood WMU alumni sweatshirt! I like being cold (well not Kalamazoo cold but this cold is okay!).

Christmas Day, Christmas Day, Time is Drawing Near

That's a line from a song Angela and I picked up somewhere during our childhood that we sing on occasion, all year long because really - it's always coming no matter if it's the day before Christmas or the day after - technically!

But it is drawing near today and we're about ready. Looks like it will be another brown Christmas. We had that glorious snow last weekend and flurries last night but it's all melted and we're back to cold and wind. Alas, it's Christmas anyway! Ang said it's official because I got up and started playing carols on the piano this year. It was great - my dad came in and sang along for quite some time, the perfect way to start Christmas Eve!

I hope that all of you have a wonderful holiday. Our vacation has been good so far, Chicago was a whirlwind but good. Wicked was wonderfully funny, so well done! I think I need to go back and watch the Wizard of Oz now to appreciate more of the story. But check it out if you get the chance, well worth it!!!

I am full of anticipation, this is my favorite feeling of all. We have one Christmas dinner in a few short hours, then church tonight. Singing Silent Night in the candlelight is one of my favorite traditions by far. Then it'll be Christmas morning. And I'm still a big kid because I love opening gifts and even more so, watching those I love open their gifts. We get to go extra slow this year because dinner isn't until 2:30pm tomorrow so that'll be nice! Maybe Santa'll bring a few surprises!!!

Merry Christmas all - may your celebration of that little baby's birth be the great beginning of another new year! I love you all.

It's beginning to feel A LOT like Christmas...

Angela and I have arrived in Michigan, our plane was only about thirty minutes late last night and it was a slow drive to Howell from Detroit - 30 to 45 miles an hour but we made it by 9:15 and my mom had meatloaf on the table which was wonderful!

This morning we awoke to over 5" of the cold stuff and it was officially declared a snow day. Which meant no church and no going anywhere, even to the Knapp Family Christmas (which has been rescheduled for Jan. 1st for all of you who were worried!). It's still snowing and blowing with a wind chill in the single digits and even though it's a pain, I LOVE IT! It finally feels like Christmas. We're going to wrap presents and sit by the tree and just enjoy the season! I wish the same for all of you today!

A flood's a comin'

It is, I can tell. How you ask? Well, it's been raining for almost five hours now. That's about four hours and fifty-five minutes more worth of rain then we've had in the past six months, maybe longer. It doesn't rain in the desert, hence it's name: the desert. So yeah, I am guessing tomorrow all the trailer parks and the grocery store parking lot will be under water. It's kinda like when it snows up north.

The kids were so excited for rain today, my curtain rod is broken in my classroom so they could see outside and they kept watching for drops. Rain is a big event down here. It's so weird. It feels normal to me. I have my window open right now listening to the patter on the roof. I love it!

However, something I noted today that makes my heart sad. The rain seems to bring out the homeless in Yuma. We saw more than one man walking today, near our apartment complex and around town, touting belongings in plastic bags, trying to get out of the rain. We have shelters here but they're a few miles from us so I hope they get there tonight as it's getting cooler at night. But it just makes me sad.

It's been a busy week. We are on the downslide before Christmas break at school, ten school days and counting left. I am excited, the kids are excited and we are all ready for it. But things are going really well inside my four classroom walls. Outside the door is another story. Word to the wise: don't go to work for a school that is in year four of a school improvement plan and about to be taken over by the state/federal government (worse-case scenario but a real possibility). The politics are nightmare-inducing, literally, just ask Ang.

Today we read and analyzed the poem "The Highwayman" about a stage coach robber in England in the 1700s who's love kills herself to warn him that the Redcoats are waiting for him. It's really a heavy poem, tragic and full of symbolism and unfamiliar language. But guess what? My kids loved it! I can say it's really the first selection from the text that we've read in fifteen weeks that they've gotten excited about. They asked questions and discussed theme and just totally rocked this poem! I loved it. And I was observed today (surprise!) and my kids and I were complimented which is very cool. So all in all, a great day to be in room 109!

Thanksgiving Weekend

It's almost over but it's been good. Not the same as being home in Michigan in the cold, visiting friends, watching the Fantasy of Lights parade, but it's been a nice weekend.

Wednesday we got out of work early, before 2pm which was great (the kids leave at 1pm on Wednesdays normall anyway) so Ang and I went out to lunch (we are calling it lunch because if we call it dinner at 4pm Ang insists were worse than the snowbirds). Then we went downtown and to the mall Christmas shopping. It was great, there was no one around and there were a lot of the same sales we saw Friday when we went back (yes, I know, a lot of shopping but mostly browsing, what else is there to do on Black Friday?!?!).

We also saw the movie "Dan in Real Life" which was great. We snuck pumpkin ice cream in from Coldstone and laughed and cried and enjoyed ourselves. A great movie - really, it's nonviolent, there's no swearing that I can recall, and no sex, just a good family movie! I give it an A+ (and so did EW and a lot of other critics, which is awesome).

Thursday we had Thanksgiving with our friends the Phelps and some British folks they know who are stationed here with the British Royal Army and their parents. It was quite the group. We ate good food, drank good wine, played apples to apples for over four hours, laughed at the kids (ages 3, 1.5, and 1) and just enjoyed the day.

Friday Ang and I made a quick trip to Mexico (under an hour, in and out) for vanilla that was being requested from up north and then hit the mall. And promptly left the mall. We didn't have a problem finding a parking spot at Kohl's but when we got inside (we were just looking for the $2.99 bath towel sale for Ang) the check out line was literally all around the store. Insanity!!! But we did get a few gifts at Target (surprisingly, not at all busy) and Sam's and then headed home to rest and shower before heading out Friday night with the girls, Julie and Christina. And guess where we went for Girls' Night? Yep, right back to the mall! Ah well, such is Black Friday!

Oh, and we also decorated for Christmas. Ang made the executive decision that we would not have a tree which is fine, I understand. But I also miss getting all Christmasy. So I put up our decorations anyway. And bought a super smelly vanilla candle and have been lighting candles all around the house every night and playing my new Charlie Brown Christmas music. (Yes, we have to open the windows because it's so hot but the cool breeze helps me think of snow).
Check it out:

A Quickie

I'm tired. Exhausted, physically and well, just physically. I have been at the Y 3 out of the last 3 days. Ang commented tonight that we aren't at home much anymore and I guess that's a good thing. I am really trying with this exercise thing but it's kicking my butt so far. And yes, I know that's a good thing.

Other than that things are normal. School is good. I feel caught up and am getting stuff done for the next few days. Including tomorrow we only have 19 more school days left until Christmas break. I am way too excited. I'm dealing with a few discipline problems and a few Fs but other than that it's great really. We made these really great projects after we finished our last novel - Tangerine - and I thought they looked so cool so here's a peek:



I'm still fretting about the Writer's Strike which is nearing week three. Here's an interesting take on the issue if you're so inclined and wonder what's going on (it might not seem like a big deal but if you are a fan of any nonreality show, it will or already has affected you): http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20159387,00.html

Oh, and I'm really homesick. I miss everyone and I can't wait for Christmas break. I am just really feeling the need to be around family right now. So yeah, Thanksgiving will be interesting:-)

Ok, off to sleep - 5:30 comes awfully early! Hugs and kisses all around.

P.S. - My email is not working properly which is ticking me off! I can read all your messages but can't reply. So I'll try from work tomorrow or from Ang's computer tomorrow night. So don't think I'm ignoring you all. Ang has decided my PC is just angry about the new Mac in the house. Whatever:-)

I can see clearly now...

I could before but you know, it's a catchy tune. Yep, these folks, are my new glasses! I didn't need new glasses, my prescription didn't change but I do have vision insurance which pays for about 75% of new glasses so I thought what the heck! Who knows where I'll be next year when it comes time for an eye exam so I'll get them now!

It's been a good long-weekend. Today has been really good. Ang, my ever-trusty assistant, helped me all morning work on getting the paperwork ready for two more grad school applications - USC (University of Southern California, a private school) and UT Austin (University of Texas - where a certain Texas family is really pushing for!). It's a lot of filling out online forms, the printing them, then copying them and mailing them tomorrow - when the post is actually open! (Watch Ang's blog for a rant about the lovely post office!) But right now I am really happy. Here's why:

It's something about the air. We have all of our windows open, something we haven't been able to do since oh, February. It's in the 70s and perfect. And it feels like fall. It feels like those days when the leaves just start to crunch (though we don't have any leaves - so thank you for the picture mom!) and the tree frogs sing. It's a night I don't want to end. I really can't explain, it's perfect. It's just a feeling. It's like knowing something really great is going to happen soon and you just can't wait.

And yes, fall is here and that means the holidays. And I am really excited to be going home to Michigan soon. I mean really excited. Like I am already thinking about what to pack and how I can't wait to curl up on the couch (yes, I hate our futon here) and look at the Christmas tree. Yesterday I bought myself a pre-Christmas present, pj bottoms with snowmen on them:-) I can't wait to go home and wear them (it's too warm here for long pants). So yeah, it's just perfect right now. Anticipation - my favorite word. My favorite feeling. Only a few more weeks...

Travelogue 4 - The Final Installment!

On Wednesday, October 17th we began my 30th birthday celebration a little early by checking in to the Bellagio! Can I just say, money well spent? A true luxury experience! I felt like a princess. A princess not allowed to touch anything from the sensor-controlled minibar but a princess nonetheless.

We headed out to Harrah's to check out Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar" which turned out to be a great hangout. I had the best chicken and dumpling soup. There was a live band playing, Lefty Lucy, and I even got asked to dance. Granted the guy was about 75 and a half foot shorter than me but it was fun anyway:-) And I was the only one of us who was brave enough to accept his offer. We headed back toward the Bellagio near midnight and it worked out perfectly, I got to watch a fountain show as I turned 30! Very cool!

On Thursday, my actual birthday, the girls let me sleep in and then gave me presents! I got an awesome frame from Susie that lists 30 Reasons Why I am a Superstar. Yes, I teared up! And I had a whole bag of rockin' gifts from Ang!

We ate lunch poolside and went swimming (mostly hot tubbing as it was only in the 70s) and then headed to Fashion Show where we browsed and Ang became a proud owner of a Macbook! Then it was back to change and we headed off to New York New York.

We had the best dinner here, at Il Fornio, Italian food and Italian margaritas. We had such fun that the gentlemen next to us struck up a conversation and bought us a second round of drinks! Then we played a few slots, headed to MGM (shots and slots), and Ang and I stopped off at Paris where we visited our favorites - the piano bar and the bakery. We topped the night off with one last fountain show and then headed back to our hotel where I discovered computer blackjack and free drinks just for betting a dollar! Hooray for Vegas.

Friday Ang and I were lazy while Susie had to head home. We stayed in bed until 9:30 and then ate gelato for breakfast before headed out of town. We got home just before 7, completely exhilarated and exhausted. What a trip!!!!!

Travelogue 3

Angela, Susie, and I spent most of Saturday, Oct. 14th in the car. About 10 hours and we didn't even take the long route to San Francisco. We cut across California and avoided the coast. All in all a good drive which was helped by lots of laughter, singing, and listening to Harry Potter on CD. When I have the time I so want to listen to all the HP books this way. It made the time fly by! We got into SF at 6:59pm, it was 63 degrees, and we found our way to the hostel at Fort Mason without too much hassle (one phone call, several trips around the wharf and block).

The hostel was great. We had a private room for the three of us and it was just over 300 bucks for four nights, what a steal! The bathroom was right across the hall, there was a kitchen, free parking, etc. We walked down to Fisherman's Wharf, found Ghiradelli Square and ate sandwiches at Lori's Diner before going to bed. Sleep we did until I woke everyone up at 3:45am when I quickly realized I had either the stomach flu or food poisoning. Needless to say, Sunday was a wash for me.

Monday I felt better and we went to Alcatraz. This was the best part of the SF trip for me. What a cool experience. We took the ferry to the island and spent hours touring the cell house and grounds of the prison. Then Ang and I spent a small fortune on souveiners for our classrooms. Last year I got a class set of the novel "Al Capone Does My Shirts" (so so good, read it even if you aren't still in 7th grade!) which is about a family living on Alcatraz in 1935. I'd been telling my kids about my trip over break and promised to bring back cool things to start our novel with and I didn't let them down. We got convict flashcards complete with mug shots and rap sheets of every prisoner ever housed there. We got books and maps and escape plans. We got posters. We even got a piece of the "rock" - a hunk of cement from the prison for six bucks!

Once we made it back to the mainland we headed for lunch and then back to the hostel as I was feeling worse than Sunday. I rested and then insisted we go out sightseeing again. I made it to the top of Lombard Street (the crookedest street in the world) before almost passing out so we went back to the hostel and had soup. Ang and Sus were so great, making sure I was well taken care of!

Tuesday we hit the Exploratorium, a hands-on science museum and then went to Fisherman's Wharf. We took it easy and I was feeling a bit better. We got souveniers and ate at the famous Boudin's Sourdough Bread Co. And we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge. We'd intended to walk over but missed the exit (note to travelers, the guidebook is not lying when it says it comes up quickly) and ended up in Sausalito. But it worked out well - as we drove we watched walkers who seemed to be freezing. I was happy to be in the car!

Wednesday we were back in the car by 7:05am and oddly enough, it was 63 degrees, the same temp it had been when we arrived and about the same temp it had stayed all week. I can't say I wasn't glad to be heading back toward Vegas, this trip to SF was fun but it was also a bit tainted by that dumb stomach issue. However, when I go back someday, and I will, I am going to ride a cable car! Mark my words:-)

P.S. - My kids love the Alcatraz stuff. They can't get enough of the prisoner cards and I even had to make a copy of one for a student to take home to show her dad because she swears he looks just like her uncle:-)

Travelogue 2

On Monday, October 8th we got to Vegas a little after 4 and it was almost 90 degrees, perfect Vegas weather - hot but not too hot (the last time I was there it was about 120 in the shade, no joke). We checked into our room at Bally's and settled down for the week, a nice change of pace. We unpacked and spread ou which was easy to do as they put us in a handicap-accessible room, the only one left with two queen beds. So we had tons of space, seriously, enough room to do yoga next to the beds. The bathroom was huge as well with one minor set back: the shower had not tub, just a drain in the floor. So every time one of us showered, the entire bathroom flooded. Needless to say we went through a lot of towels over the course of the week.

We quickly headed off to dinner - another buffet, this time the Bellagio. I'm not sure if it was that we were all so hungry (we'd been eating mostly PB & J out of the trunk all weekend) or that it really is an amazing restaurant but it was some of the best food I've ever had. Well worth the near $30 a person price. And I made it my goal to try new foods that night. I ate quail (I did not know it actually looked like a bird when they plated it), buffalo (a little tough), veal osso bucco (some awesome stew!), sweet potato mash (heaven on a plate), pesto mashed potatoes, etc. Then we hit a fountain show outside the Bellagio and walked down the strip visiting the Monte Carlo, New York New York, and the M & M Factory before collapsing into bed.

Tuesday Mom surprised us by taking Ang and I to the spa in Bally's. We all had massages and then had full use of the spa for the afternoon. We hot tubbed and showered and were completely pampered. Dad enjoyed himself at several casinos but met us for a trip to the new Planet Hollywood's Miracle Mile shopping mall. Then we got all gussied up to go to the Venetian to see Blue Man Group. Here's an interesting fact: we actually had tickets for Wednesday but luckily the customer service there rocks and they got us the same seats for that night. What a show! It's not even possible to describe it except to say there are men in blue paint making music, making us laugh, and covering the entire audience in paper. You have to go if you ever get a chance. And pay the extra for good seats, it's worth it.



Wednesday we discovered the wonder that is Paris in Las Vegas. Paris is where we would eat many a snack (i.e., exquisite, expensive, so worth it pastries), meal, and spend a lot of our time. Paris is connected via walkway to Bally's and guess what, we never ate at Bally's. Not one meal.

This was the day we went to the top of the Stratosphere, well part of our group did. Dad hung out with the slots, then we went to the Wynn buffet for lunch. Three words: homemade coconut ice cream. So worth the price. The food was okay (I know, I know, I've now become a BIG TIME food snob if I'm saying the freaking Wynn has just okay food) but what most impressed us was the actual dessert chefs making the dessert as we watched. And the array of sugar-free options for Mom. Rock on Wynn! (Just don't expect us to play golf there - $500 greens fees and the woman didn't even offer to make us a tee time.)

To burn off our millions of calories we spent the afternoon shoe shopping (while Dad worked the slots): we found out that Vegas has not one but TWO zappos.com outlet stores. Hundreds of pairs of shoes in our sizes. It was great. Mom and I walked away with a pair each but don't worry - at the mall Ang made up for it. We found magnalite pans that we just had to get (mom swears by hers thirty years later) so into our already small and fully packed car we added two large boxes of cookware! And by the way, this would be the only day that I'd make a profit at the slots - I put two bucks into a quarter slot machine in Paris later that night and walked away with twenty. Didn't pay for the shoes or much else but it sure was fun!

Thursday we managed to get in line early enough to actually eat breakfast in Paris at the Village Buffet. Good food but a bit pricey for what we ate but I did have a fresh crepe so why am I complaining? This was also the day of the naps. Exhausted from walking and eating and pushing slot machine buttons we all crashed and either slept or read for a while before heading to the Palms for our second buffet of the day. A decent meal for the cheap price, I had Thanksgiving dinner as every buffet has turkey and potatoes and the stuffing here was so good. But the Palms underwhelmed me. Not sure if I was expecting more of what I see on tv at the celebrity poker tournaments but it wasn't anything too exciting, at least not at three o'clock in the afternoon. From there we parked at New York New York and trammed down to Mandalay Bay then walked through the Luxor, Excalibur and then MGM where the lions were sleeping. Glad that exhibit was free.

We decided to go out that night and headed down to Napolean's piano bar in Paris. While singing along to old favorites and sipping cosmos we celebrated being together and of course, headed next door for some dessert.

Friday, our last day in town (for a few days at least). We were preparing to go out walking when the fire alarm went off. Now, if anyone out there knows my sister Angela, you'll know that this caused a certain amount of panic in our room. Having been through a fire, she was understandably upset, especially when we opened our hotel room door to be greeted by fire fighters in full gear asking us to stay IN our room. So we did, for an hour while the alarm sounded and a voice told us loudly over the intercom in our room to stay calm and await instructions. Over and over and over again. Turns out it was a faulty motor in a shaft somewhere. All I can say is it's a good thing we all made it out of that room in one piece!

Once the fire trucks left we headed to Caesar's to browse and then to the Bellagio for a goodbye lunch buffet (by far the best in town). Then we got all dressed up to go back to the Bellagio to see Cirque de Soleil's "O". Again, a show that's almost indescribable. There was acrobatics and diving and swimming and a story involving audience members and clowns and again, well worth the price of great seats! It's no wonder the show's sold out every single night. We concluded our evening with dinner in Paris, where I had a hamburger topped with brie. Amazing.

On Saturday we took my parents to the airport (seriously almost as easy to navigate as Yuma's or Howell's airport - well designed) and picked up Susie Hanner, our friend from Howell and hit the road for phase two - road trip to San Francisco.

Travelogue 1

I know I'm a month behind but I am finally feeling caught up. I've balanced the checkbook, done all the mail, cleaned the house, read a few of the magazines, gotten all the photos organized and prints ordered, and settled back into the pace of seventh grade. It's taken a while. So now I get to blog. I'll do it in pieces, like Angela is (she stole my idea!) and hopefully I'll get it all out in the next few days. Here goes:

Fourteen days, 2200 plus miles, the stomach flu, a birthday, my parents, our friend from Howell Susie, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, San Francisco, and more Vegas. It was amazing. Exhausting, relaxing, wonderful. I am so fortunate to have been able to travel so much since I moved down here. I really am.

Angela and I headed to Vegas on Friday, October 5th. We'd had three days of parent-teacher conferences at school and were so ready to be done. We hadn't made it out of Yuma when I told Angela I had to go to sleep. I had a headache that wouldn't quit and I knew it was due to lack of sleep. Even though I'd started packing Monday night, I had been busy every night until after 11 and up by 5 most mornings. I was running out of steam.

Sleep I did, instantly and for several hours before a semi almost forced us off the road and we swerved and I woke up. Ang was awesome to keep driving even though we were both a bit shaky (and bruised from our seat belts). Five and a half hours after we'd hit the road we arrived at the Golden Nugget downtown Vegas. It was a beautiful 62 degree night and though Mom was fast asleep (it was after midnight their time) Dad took us to dinner in the hotel and we played some nickel slots. The hotel is lovely even though we didn't get to spend much time there. I'd love to go back when it's warmer as the pool looked really cool, you can take a slide down through a shark tank!

Saturday morning we enjoyed our first of what would be many buffets on this vacation, at the hotel and then headed to the Grand Canyon via a sightseeing drive down the Strip and across the Hoover Dam. About six hours later headed into the Grand Canyon National Park which is a beautiful place, even before we reached the Canyon. It was 48 degrees that evening and while it was a beautiful sight, it was chilly and we walked a bit but headed back to town to eat and catch the IMAX movie which was different. It contained amazing footage of places we'd never be able to see within the Canyon but also interwove stories about people who've called the Canyon home over the years.

Sunday we spent all day in the park. It was 35 degrees outside when we headed in but warmed considerably as the day went on. We attended a Ranger Program about the geology of the Canyon and learned a lot. Do you know how the Canyon was formed? DUDE! Which stands for deposition, uplift, downcutting, and erosion:-) We had lunch at the gorgeous El Tovar Lodge. It's a toss up as to which was more striking, the view or what we ate. Excellent food and a pumpkin creme brulee I'm sure no one will ever top. Then we drove the 28 mile Desert View Drive and saw sunset at the edge of the Canyon. Spectacular.

Monday we headed back to the Canyon to say goodbye. It's really a spiritual experience, hard to describe. It's just so unreal and yet it's right there. It was windy (and as a result, incredibly cold) so we headed out. We stopped at the Hoover Dam this time through and toured in the lovely 87 degree sun before heading on to Vegas.

Pencils down means pencils down

Monday at 12:01am the Writers Guild of America will go on strike. Now this might not seem like a big deal to the average American living outside of Orange County. And yet it's freaking me out a little. And Ang even more than a little. You see, the WGA is the screenwriters' union. And just this past week I sent in my first application for film school. That's right, I want to be a professional screenwriter. See the trouble brewing?

The WGA voted today, they've been negotiating for a long time. They want a fairer contract regarding residuals dealing with DVD sales and new media (internet, etc.) and the studios won't budge. I feel very strongly about this because hopefully, God-willing, I'll be a member of this union in just a few years. I know I will need to be a part of the guild because of the structure they provide - health insurance and the like. And I appreciate the members who've spoken out so far saying that they're not doing this for themselves only but for the next generation of writers - essentially for me.

Angela is worried, rightly so, because we are looking to move to LA in about eight months. A WGA strike will have severe, trickle-down effects on the whole city's economy. The last WGA strike was in the early eighties and it apparently affected everyone right down to waitresses and chauffers. I'm worried because while a strike will require screenwriters to not write anything for studios, it doesn't mean they can't write spec scripts (screenplays written without a contract that one hopes to sell - I have my own spec scripts). And when the strike is over, the market will be saturated with spec scripts. Fan-freakin-tastic.

I know I can't worry too much about it. It's not my strike, not my fight, not yet anyway. But I'm interested. I'm about to go into a great deal of debt to get an education that will help me get into a profession that is about to go on strike. Tens of thousands of people who do what I want to do are going to be walking picket lines. So yes, I'm interested.

Halloween

Last night at spin class our instructor played Halloween music. I haven't been feeling very Halloweenish this year but this got me more in the mood. I don't know if it was being gone on vacation or just being busy but we didn't even get out our decorations. I have a few cards out but that's it. Also, no one ever comes over so it would be just Ang and I to see them and then put them away tomorrow. But last night as I was spinning my seven miles I started remembering Halloweens from the past.



When we were little my mom and her best friend Marilyn made Halloween into a family holiday. They would make a big dinner, usually sloppy joes and jello and a cake, and then we'd go out trick-or-treating. Usually my dad and Marilyn's husband, Michael, would pass out candy first (average number of trick-or-treaters at our house back then - 800 or so, at least that's what it seemed like) while the moms drove us to the grandparents' neighborhood. We'd get our pictures taken; there were four of us, Ben, Liz, Ang and I, and then we'd get special treats from them, usually a bag of candy or cookies or a bigger candy bar or something. Then we'd head home and the dads would take us walking around our neighborhood. It was always cold, usually rainy, and we'd have to try to fit winter coats under our costumes. You never could tell exactly what at least one of us was.

Then came the fun part, "the sorting" as Ang wistfully called it tonight. We dump all our treats into the big mixing bowls from the kitchen and start dividing it into piles: different kinds, sizes, etc. And we'd try to keep our dads away from the candy (Michael always always always stole some!). Then we'd trade with each other and give the grownups what we didn't like. It was great. One of the highlights of being a kid. A no-pressure holiday, something I long for.

I am glad I have these memories, and new ones. Today was fun at school. We read a poem about Frankenstein and the kids wrote Halloween poems and decorated them to take home. There was construction paper and glue and markers and joy. They were so proud of their work. And then tonight Ang and I sat outside for two hours in the beautiful 70 degree evening and passed out all of our candy. We had big kids, little kids, adults, and infants come around - all with hands out. Interesting to say the least. But fun. We socialized with different sets of neighbors who were all out enjoying the fresh, cool air and we just sat and smiled and said "you're welcome" a lot. A no-pressure holiday. Just like I remember.

I love it when...

something makes me laugh. Not chuckle like, "oh that's cute," but really laugh. When something surprises me and I just can't contain myself. It's happened several times lately and Ang and I were talking about it today. She noted that she loves when she can make me laugh like that and I agreed! Here are two times recently when this happened (maybe you'll laugh yourself, you never know!).

1. On Saturday we were running errands after we'd both come from massages. Now these aren't your ordinary, incense-filled, enjoyment producing massages. These are kick your butt, physical therapy-type massages. So we were both tired and a little out of it. We went to sell back some some stuff at the book store ($5 for a Will and Grace first season DVD I got years ago that I never watched, not bad when I saw it at target for $20) and as we were walking out I walked behind Angela. She had a green t-shirt on and that's when I noticed she had her shirt on backward. I might not have noticed except it was a V neck:-) So right there on the sidewalk in front of Hastings I cracked up. I could not stop laughing, not sure why this was so funny but it just was. And I could not tell her why I was laughing because I was laughing so stinking hard!

2. This morning Ang and I were in the restroom at school. I was still very sleepy as we got to school at 6:25 to get in line for flu shots (no, we weren't the first ones there and yes, there was a line by the time we got ours). I realized as I was sitting there that I had black underwear on and I have on a cream and black skirt. I explained this to Ang in the next stall. She said she had black underwear on as well or else she'd switch with me. I said that was weird, and she said, "why, that's what friends are for!" And then she said, "well that's not the only thing..." and I cracked up.

Here's hoping your Halloween is full of laughter:-) I'm going to try to post more today, we'll see!

I made it through another Monday

I want to blog about vacation but again it's 9:30 and I haven't showered yet and I have to go to bed and...yes, I'll blog soon. But today is over and that's a start. It was a busy day. I had two formal observations - one by my principal and one by a person from our district office. The good news is that I aced them both. I got an 8 out of 8 on my evaluation this morning from my principal and the woman from the DO had only nitpicky things to say which I think is a good sign. All that and I got all ready for the rest of the week after school today.

Another cool thing happened today. We started reading Al Capone Does My Shirts, a novel about a kid who's family lives on Alcatraz in 1935 and my kids loved it! I got them all hyped for it last week by telling them about my trip and then today I took in all the books and fun stuff I bought for them. First thing in class they each got a big flashcard with a convict on it, his rap sheet and all, and they had to journal about what they'd ask him if they could interview him. They loved this, they wouldn't stop talking about it all day. I thought that was pretty cool. So I guess all the money and work getting ready for today was worth it. Also, we did a writing lesson on sequence and they got it. They totally got it. That never happens. So all in all a pretty darn good day in 7th grade.

I am off to sleep. I am still feeling tired from vacation but we're finally catching up. We've been cleaning and I've been writing and OH YEAH! Today I sent in my application for admission to film school at UCLA! (And my money of course.) It's official. Now I need to get my applications out to the other 3 schools in the next couple of weeks.

Appeasement

I've started getting the inquiring comments about when a new blog is coming (okay, okay, one email but it made me feel guilty!) so here it is, albeit a very short one.

I am home from my 14 day, 2300+ mile vacation. I survived, had a great time, turned 30 and am back at work. I am also tired, still unpacking, mentally a little weird, tired, and oh, did I mention tired? I have tons of vacation blogs planned in my mind, really I do, and photos but they'll have to wait a day or two more. But here's a little update to keep you posted:

I had an awesome 30th birthday on Thursday. Thank you all who called, emailed, left me messages, sent packages and flowers, and spent the day with me. I am still celebrating, I think I will celebrate until the end of October so feel free to keep the birthday fun coming! More on my celebrations in a later blog...

Today we got our held mail and it was piles and piles, mostly junk. But hidden inside were two very interesting envelopes. The first was my official GRE results. I got a 5.5 out of 6 on the analytical writing section which puts me in the top 12% of test takers so that ROCKS! And then the second envelope: a grand jury summons. I've been called to participate on a grand jury in Phoenix (yes, that Phoenix, 3 hours from my house) 7 days a month for 6 months! I know - the insanity! I replied tonight on their form that this would cause an extreme hardship so here's hopin' and prayin' that the jury gods feel pity for me. Please, please, please.

So that's all for tonight folks. I need to write some postcards (so what if I'm already home, they're still fun!) and then go to bed. I really want to watch TV (so much good stuff to catch up on plus I got the whole series of Arrested Development for my birthday AND we just got the latest DVDs of Entourage from Netflix - ooh, shout out to the Office and their HILARIOUS nod to Netflix recently plus the great ep where Pam and Jim spend the night at Dwight's farm/not B&B. It's genius folks, download it now!) but I think I must sleep first. More to come soon, I promise!!!!

Until I return...

The past week has been a whirlwind. We ended our first quarter at school and have had two days of parent teacher conferences, with day three ending tomorrow at 2:30pm. These wear me out. I'm anxious sitting there, waiting to talk to parents, wondering if they'll argue or agree or just nod silently. And the noise, 40-some teachers in a room, talking to parents and kids, it's quite a buzz so I can't focus at all. I managed only a bit of paperwork and certainly no grading. But I have seen over 50 parents which is good considering I only have 90 kids.

And then there's getting ready to go on vacation. We leave tomorrow at 2:31pm for Vegas. My parents are flying in tomorrow afternoon and we'll all meet up and spend the night at the Golden Nugget downtown Vegas. Then Saturday we'll drive to the Grand Canyon and spend a few days there. On Monday we'll head back to the big city and spend the week at Bally's. We'll hit a few shows, so far Blue Man Group and Cirque de Soliel's O. On Saturday my parents fly home and Susie flies in to Vegas. We head up 8 hours to San Francisco and stay at the Fisherman's Wharf hostel until Wednesday when we'll travel back and spend two nights in Vegas at the Bellagio where we'll celebrate my big 3-0 birthday in style!

And yes, I'm ready for a vacation. In a week that's seen me take the GRE, prepare report cards and handle conferences while still having school every day, not to mention dealing with crisis after crisis at work and home (work - calling a mother to tell her that her son is telling kids he plans to commit suicide, not a highlight of my week & home - dealing with crappy insurance and mail-order prescription companies with Angela and the oh-so-slow USPS, ugh!), I am ready to leave it all behind and escape. So escape we will. I'll blog when I return...