Two down, two to go. Grad school letters that is. So far I've been rejected from UT Austin and now USC. The USC letter came yesterday. Every day on the way to the mailbox I pray the letters will be there. I pray they'll be acceptances. I prayed yesterday when Ang walked to the box. But the answer to my prayer was not what I'd hoped.
"Dear Ms. Knapp...after careful review of your application and supporting materials, the Admission Committee has asked me to inform you that your application to the Master of Fine Arts program in Writing for Screen and Television for Fall 2008 has not been approved, and we are not able to offer you admission to this program. We understand this must be very disappointing news. Please bear in mind that each year the university receives applications from many more students than it can accommodate. Admissibility is determined by the size of the applicant pool as well as student credentials. Unfortunately, as a result we are not able to offer admission to some students of significant ability and potential." And it goes on and on.... They encourage me to continue toward my educational and professional goals and they wish me luck.
Yeah, luck. Apparently that's what it takes to get into one of these schools. I knew I wasn't going to be a top candidate. I had lower verbal scores on the GRE than I'd have liked, I am older than most of the applicants I'd guess, and I do not have a background in fine arts. But damn it, I wanted this! I wanted one of the best film schools in the country to accept me. I wanted the chance to write all day and study this craft and learn. I've finally figured out something I want to do and now I don't know how to go about it.
At this late date I am guessing that UCLA will be a rejection too. My guess is that they send out acceptance letters first, then the others. And Cal State Northridge won't be deciding till the end of May, said their latest letter. So I don't know what to do now.
I cried yesterday, and again today. I'm frustrated and hurt and angry and disappointed and feeling very rejected. I literally don't know what to do. I'm just starting to get my financial legs under me and I was hoping there'd be student loans at UT or USC. I doubt there will be at the other schools. I started looking for jobs "in the industry" this morning and it was tiresome. "Must have 2-3 years experience at Disney, or in the industry, or with blackberries, or, or, or."
So what do I do now? Do I give up? Maybe it's been a pipe dream all along. Cut my losses and work on a teaching certificate? (Though I can't really afford that either and there are no student loans for those.) Go back to being a glorified secretary? I don't know. Ang and I are pretty committed to this Los Angeles move now, with it less than three months away but like EVERYONE'S been saying, it's expensive there. Frankly, it's expensive anywhere. So yeah.
For now I'm going to do the laundry.
5 comments:
Keep your chin up Sarah. I'm not sure if this will help you, but I feel the need to share the same advice to you that I do with my graduating seniors: Follow your heart - the rest will fall into place.
Missing you.
------hugs------
Michelle
It's corny, I know...but you should keep at it, if this is what you really love doing. Give up now and you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...but soon, and for the rest of your life.
Interesting info:
*Editors rejected Stephen King's book, Carrie, over thirty times.
*Dr.Seuss' first children's book, AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IT ON MULBERRY STREET, was rejected by 27 publishers before finally being accepted by the twenty-eighth. It has sold six million copies and the rest is history!
*Oprah Winfrey's movie career went bust when her movie, BELOVED, flopped, but she became the person with the best magazine O had the biggest debut for a magazine ever!
*Woody Allen failed English and Motion Picture Production at NXO.
*John Grisham's first novel, A TIME TO KILL, was rejected by fifteen publishers and thirty agents.
*The movie STAR WARS was rejected by major studios before they finally found a studio that wanted to produce it.
*J.K. Rowling, author of the HARRY POTTER books, was told she would get nowhere writing children's fantasy books.
*Leo Tolstoy, author of WAR AND PEACE, failed out of college.
*Movies such as E.T., HOME ALONE, SPEED, and PULP FICTION were all rejected by major studios.
*Rudyard Kipling once received a rejection letter that read, "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you don't know how to use the English language."
*Thomas Edison failed Math and was kicked out of school. Later he went on to invent the lightbulb, the movie projector, the record player, and more.
Dang Justin - you're good!
Move to Cali, wait tables and write write write........it'll be a great movie someday!!
Who will play me?
I am pretty darn good...and I'm not afraid to admit it.
;)
Hey Sarah:
This is really disappointing - I plan to start at U of M in their film program in 2010, unless I get something (aside from a children's short film) optioned before then.
I can tell you lots of people I know say great things about the practicum-based AFI: http://www.afi.com/ and it's in the epicenter of film!
If you really want to do this, and find that the last two letters go the way of the first to (fingers crossed they don't), may I suggest continuing teaching while taking a community college class in screenwriting. I took one at LCC and found it incredibly helpful. Better than books or coverage combined and professor had an MFA in Screenwriting with several options under her belt; her advice was spot on! Turns out, sometimes what you most love to write isn't necessarily what you are best at - I would never have known that and completely retooled my target audience for writing.
Hope springs eternal,
Kathy
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