World AIDS Day 2008

Monday, 12.1.08, is World AIDS Day. I can't say that I've ever been aware of this day before but I certainly am this year. For several reasons.

For one - I've become a member of the AIDS Awareness Task Force at church. I started volunteering at 5p21 and quickly got initiated into the task force. I'm enjoying it and glad to be helping raise awareness of yet another disease that needs to be cured. I cut out red ribbon stickers. I pass out teddy bears. I encourage people to buy gifts for the kids at the clinic.

For another reason - today our church celebrated World AIDS Day and had my friend Nancy, who's HIV positive, as a speaker. She told us about her every day struggles with the disease, about not knowing if her son would be born HIV positive (he wasn't), about her life and her faith. Just hearing her, as with most disease survivors and fighters, was encouraging and amazingly hopeful. At the end of the service we heard the names of people read who've died of AIDS recently. What a moving experience.

Even more so because I was sitting next to Joe. I met Joe on Thursday at Thanksgiving. He's living with AIDS and is currently under hospice care. To sit there, to put a face with the disease, was truly humbling. And as he cried, and I took his hand, I wondered about these diseases, all of them, that take our loved ones. I wondered why God allows them. I wondered where He was in all of this. And then I realized, as I looked around. As I looked at the tears on people's cheeks, as I looked at the teddy bears we'd been charged with loving for the past month so they can be given to patients this week, as I looked at the love in the room, I realized. I realized I shouldn't waste my energy on wondering why but loving, caring, and sharing. So I squeezed Joe's hand a little harder and I thanked God for putting me in this place at this exact time. To love. To be loved.

So thankful

I am my mother's child. I love to plan, cook, and enjoy a good meal. I love to be with people, to talk and share and enjoy life. And I love the holidays. But I've never experienced a holiday quite like the one I did this week.

This was my second Thanksgiving away from home. And while I've enjoyed most of my 31 Thanksgivings (a few have been spent with the flu and/or colds) - this one ranks right up there with the best.

Angela Garber, one of my awesome new friends, organized 'Little Orphan Angie's' Thanksgiving dinner at the Hollywood United Methodist Church. She invited friends and families and people who wouldn't have anywhere else to spend the day except maybe at a restaurant. What transpired was truly a blessed day.

We cooked, we cleaned, we laughed, we played charades, we walked to Starbucks, we toured the church, we played Uno Attack, we met new people, we got hugs, we gave hugs, we ate too much, we tried new things, we learned about each other, we shared with one another, we were thankful.

And while dinner was two and a half hours off schedule (turkeys can't be eaten rare), no one cared. We enjoyed the time. We shared experiences and created new relationships. And before we sat down, all 25 of us joined hands and bowed our heads and gave thanks. My friend Pauley asked that we each say what we were most thankful for on that day and while some scoffed, everyone listened and spoke and God surrounded us.

A lot of the time holidays are stressful. Especially in my family. This year, for me, Thanksgiving was not (Angela Garber may disagree!) and I am so thankful for that. For that and for the new friends and old friends and everyone in between that I got to spend the day with.

A good day

Today was one of those days that was just all-around good. Nothing spectacular happened, it wasn't my birthday, I didn't win any awards, it was just a good day. I got up and had time to read a script for class - an assignment but also a luxury, time to read. And then I volunteered at Homeless Lunch and had fun talking with people and enjoying being outside. (Yes, there was a fight between a couple of the guys there but it de-escalated quickly and I chalked it up to Ang and Sus getting a little show for their buck).

Then we drove Susie up to Mulholland Drive to see the views and take pictures, it really was a nice, warm day to do this. Then we went to the Grove and window shopped and had another celebrity sighting (Kelly Osbourne - we also heard Gwen Stefani and her crew were there but we didn't actually see them). Also, we spent some time at the bookstore where I got some new paperbacks and Harry Connick Jr's new Christmas CD. I had a gift certificate from my birthday so it was fun to get to spend that! Also, I didn't even know HCJ had a new Christmas CD out - another exciting part of my day!

We had a good Mexican dinner at Chipolte (I LOVE LOVE LOVE their chips) and then I headed off to class. I got there super early so I had time to visit the script library and pick up some more reading material and spent some quiet time reading a new "textbook" about life as a Hollywood Assistant. And then there was my table read...

Again, I can't tell you how excited I was for this - I had 20 pages I'd written, rewritten, edited and edited some more. I worked really hard on this - going back and rewriting the first 15 pages, adding characters, killing off characters, making sure my writing served the character's and my purposes. And I was still excited tonight, until they started reading...

And I got really nervous. Like my face felt like it was on fire, my head started pounding, I couldn't help but obsess over what my teacher kept scribbling furiously on his pages. It wasn't good. But then again, it happened, I started listening. I started marking where they laughed with smiley faces. And I relaxed and enjoyed the "show". And everyone's really getting into the table reads now - they're starting to know the characters and the plot and they're having fun, "getting into character" so to speak. I know I am when I get to read. And it went well, so well.

Here are a few of the responses (and yes, I know I'm tooting my own horn but I'm excited and want to share my excitement!):

• It's taking shape!
• Your characters are bonding and it's working well - there are changes in relationships, exactly how it should be.
• I loved the sense of detail, how you create a real world here.
• And the marriage relationship and it's troubles, great.
• And the rest, it's just, it's really kinda lovely.

So yeah, it was a good day. A day that ends with rain splashing on the windows as I crawl into bed to sleep. A day that was full of friends, happiness, expressions of faith and thanksgiving, and most of all, for me, a day full of accomplishment and encouragement.

I love it!

This is how we know the seasons have changed in L.A.! (The first picture was from August, the second picture is from today.)

A friend from home

Our friend Susie flew into Los Angeles today and I made the trek to LAX all by myself and navigated the trip quite effectively, if I do say so. Not as hard as I thought it might be. Then Ang and I took her to Larchmont to have lunch- gotta love Koo Koo Roo. While we were munching some Pinkberry (everyone who comes to LA has to have Pinkberry right away, it's a law) we had a celebrity sighting! Michael Rapaport was getting out of his big SUV. You might remember him from Boston Public (I did but no one else did), or from Friends (Phoebe's cop boyfriend who shot the bird - that what Ang and Sus remembered).

So we had our little bit of star gazing for the day now we're heading to Universal's Citywalk for dinner and fun!

Tower Tour

Yesterday Ang and I wore our old clothes to church and did something few people have ever done. We climbed 140-some odd feet into the air above Highland street in Hollywood, up in the tower of Hollywood United Methodist Church.

And let me tell you, we didn't just climb. We were a little unsure as to why we had to sign these very official wavers before embarking on our tour but we soon found out. After going up a four or five flights of wooden stairs (staggered of course, weight distribution was very important to our guide, Richard Settle - who also took all the lovely photos you see here), we started in on metal stairs. We had to duck under pipes, hoist ourselves up through holes in the ceiling and climb these rungs on the wall that I was pretty sure I couldn't climb. But I did! Once we got up there, dirty as all get out, we had the chance to see the amazing view - all the way down Highland, all the way up the hills to the Hollywood sign, everywhere - it was amazing. And we got to hit the chimes with a rubber mallet (that's what I'm doing in the photo!). A very cool experience indeed!

Equal Rights

"What do we want?"
"Equal rights!"
"When do we want them?"
"Now!"

This was the chant we heard most often yesterday as we rallied on City Hall. And can I just tell you, it was a very cool experience. There were 12,000 of us - yes, TWELVE THOUSAND PEOPLE, who congregated downtown Los Angeles to protest the passing of Proposition 8 here in California, which bans gay marriage and gay rights. I went with about 40 members of my church, Hollywood United Methodist, on the subway (which was so crowded we were literally nose to nose - good thing Ang and I are on friendly terms) downtown where joined up with everyone else.

It was very cool to hear the mayor, council members, members of Congress, representatives from groups like the Southern Christian Leadership Conference which was founded by MLK, jr. and more, speak out against this violation of basic civil rights. It was very cool to see teachers, ministers, old, young, black, hispanic, white, gay and straight all standing together, peacefully, to try and make a difference.

We listened then we walked. And walked and walked. We walked over two subway stations away from where we started - we ended up in Chinatown. By the time we ended I had blisters on my feet and my arms are still sore today from helping to hoist the church's banner.

And while I'm tired and sore and sunburned, I'm glad I went. I'm glad I helped be a voice in this cause. I'm glad I stood next to my friends and heard what some wise people had to say. I'm glad I was there. I'm glad - that in the midst of this divisive fight, I was a representative of God's love.

And my friend Pauley took some cool videos of the whole affair - check them out at http://www.youtube.com/user/pauleygram!

Neighborhood Watch

Last night Angela and I attended our very first Queen Anne Neighborhood Watch meeting. And I have to tell you, I thought it was kinda cool. At five to seven we started to see people with flashlights outside so we wandered out and met up with our neighbors Bill and Betty and Mary from across the street. We walked down a block to Queen Anne Elementary School and joined the group. There ended up being seventeen people in total - some from blocks away, some from right across the street, some from streets I'd never heard of. The crowd was mostly older and some have lived in this neighborhood almost sixty years! But here's what I thought was really interesting:

Here was a group of concerned citizens, wanting to make a difference in the quality of life in their neighborhood. Apparently they've been writing letters and making calls and fighting the system for years. But they're not ready to give up. They welcomed us and asked our advice (since Ang works for LAUSD and the biggest problem is Los Angeles High Schools' student truancy problems spilling into our streets) and shared a little insight.

We found out that there have been a few home invasions in the past years, there are drug houses around, parking is an issue, and the city said it would take up to six months to fix a burned out streetlight. We also found out a neighbor, thankfully on a street I didn't recognize, has a shotgun loaded with rock salt, and he's ready to use it!

All in all, an interesting look at Neighborhood Watch, something I'd never experienced before. In December our SLO, senior lead officer, from the LAPD is supposed to be there - I'll let you know how that goes!

Love

I got an email tonight, from my Canadian cousin. She wanted to share this with me, a video clip from an MSNBC pundit. And now I want to share it with everyone I know.

Last week I voted against Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage. The proposition passed. I find this ridiculous. In a time when there is so much hurt in the world, it saddens me to think that churches, and it was churches for the most part who supported prop 8, would want to hurt anyone. How on earth should a church community expect to bring people closer to God when all they do is hate and condemn and judge. It breaks my heart. It should break everyone's heart. But the proposition passed because people are scared and people think they have the right to judge others. But I think everyone has the right to a little love in their lives. Don't we, as a country, have enough other battles to fight?

Take 5 minutes and watch the video clip above or read the text of Olbermann's commentary below. Think for yourself. Think with your heart. We should never have to be afraid of love.

Gay marriage is a question of love
Everyone deserves the same chance at permanence and happiness
By Keith Olbermann
Anchor, 'Countdown'
msnbc.com
Mon., Nov. 10, 2008

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don't want to deny you yours. They don't want to take anything away from you. They want what you want—a chance to be a little less alone in the world.

Only now you are saying to them—no. You can't have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don't cause too much trouble. You'll even give them all the same legal rights—even as you're taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can't marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn't marry?

I keep hearing this term "re-defining" marriage. If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn't have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it's worse than that. If this country had not "re-defined" marriage, some black people still couldn't marry black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not "Until Death, Do You Part," but "Until Death or Distance, Do You Part." Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay.

And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing, centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children, all because we said a man couldn't marry another man, or a woman couldn't marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage.

How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the "sanctity" of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don't you, as human beings, have to embrace... that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness—this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness—share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate.

You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know. It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow person just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

"I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge. It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: So I be written in the Book of Love; I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, So I be written in the Book of Love."

So Help Me God

That's the title of my script. And for right now, that's all I'm going to tell you about it. It's not that I don't want to share, I do but right now it's in the mush stage. Like just this afternoon, there was a guy name Gerald in the movie. And tonight, as I sat in class, I decided that Gerald will be no longer. So yeah, that's why I can't tell you more about it. Soon, hopefully but not while the story's still a big pile of mush waiting for me to mold it into a movie script.

But anyway - tonight was my first table read. What that means is I had to take fifteen pages of my script to class, enough copies for everyone, and then the class read it. And can I just tell you how terrifying that was? Because my teacher was just like, here we go - assign parts, sit back and listen. So I did.

I don't really remember what happened for the first page or two. I think people were reading. I know that there's only one other girl in the class and so some of the other girl parts were read by boys. But by about page four I actually began to listen. I heard how they read the words and I started to hear IT. Yes, IT. LAUGHTER. They were chuckling and laughing in all the right places! Can I just tell you there is nothing, absolutely nothing, better in the world that I've ever heard than the sound of people laughing at what I've written. (And yes, before you ask, it's a comedy - well, a dark comedy, so the laughter was intentional!)

And when it was done they started talking. First my teacher, then my peers. They were full of suggestions and compliments and it was very cool to hear people discussing a story I'd come up with. Very cool.

And mine wasn't the only table read we had tonight - we read three other sets of pages and they were all amazing. I can't wait to see every single one of them on screen.

So here I go, back to the keyboard, to rewrite and write some more. Thirty pages are due in two weeks. And I'm going to get them done, so help me god!

Adopt Angela's Classroom

My sister Angela, for those of you who don't know her, teaches 7th grade at John Burroughs Middle School in Los Angeles. JB is a public school and as such, doesn't have a lot of money. And while Ang teaches in the magnet program, which means her kids are classified as gifted and talented, most of her kids don't live in the neighborhood around the school. Most of them are dropped off by carpools or by the city bus. Some of these kids ride the city bus for hours each day just to get to a "good" school. And JB is a good school. It's full of teachers who care, kids who are funny and smart, and people who want it to be the best educational experience possible for everyone who walks through the doors.

But just because they want to be a good school and are doing their best doesn't mean they can without money, plain and simple. Already this year Angela has spent way more money than she can afford to create the best learning environment for her kids, and it's a lot less than we spent over the past three years in Yuma. For example - we have created this great unit around the novel Al Capone Does My Shirts. I bought a classroom set of the books two years ago - thirty novels. But this year Ang had to go out and buy ten more novels because her class sizes are huge. She could have just had the kids share books or skipped the unit all together, hey, it wasn't in the state curriculum anyway, but she chose not to because she wants her kids to enjoy reading, to know what it's like to hold a book and experience a story with their eyes and their ears.

So why am I telling you all this? Because Ang has signed up with a website that will allow you to adopt her classroom. You can donate a dollar or a hundred or more. And every penny that's donated goes straight to her. Better yet, every penny that's donated will be matched by a corporate sponsor. She's chosen a proxima (a fancy projector that will allow her to create PowerPoint presentations out of her lesson plans) for her donation project, she wants her kids to be able to experience lessons with the best technology available. Technology these kids would never see in most of L.A.'s schools. But in her classroom, with your help, maybe they can.

Go to Adopt-A-Classroom for more information and to help me in adopting her classroom!

Good Evening, Clarice

Last I did three things I never imagined I'd do:

1. I stood in line for over two hours to see a movie. A movie that came out seventeen years ago.
2. I watched Silence of the Lambs.
   
3. I watched Silence of the Lambs about twenty feet away from Sir Anthony Hopkins. Or Tony as he introduced himself to all of us.

Let me explain. UCLA has these great free showings of movies - some are new, some are independents, some are sneak previews, and some are presented by writers or directors or in this case, Anthony Hopkins, the man who won the Academy Award for playing a cannibal in the film. The catch is that while the tickets are free, you have to stand in line to get them because they're well, free. So I went with two friends from my program and we stood. And stood. And stood. But that was fun too.

When we finally got into the theater and Mr. Hopkins came in everyone stood and clapped, that was pretty cool. And when his name appeared on screen everyone clapped and when he first appeared on screen everyone clapped. It was very surreal.

And while I never had any desire to see the movie, I found it fascinating. I also think because I'd built it up as this scary, horror-type movie, I was expecting way worse than I got. Not that it wasn't scary, it definitely was. But it was also entertaining.

After the movie Mr. Hopkins did a question and answer period for over an hour, and while none of us were sure what to expect, we were pleasantly surprised. He started off by delivering the famous lines from the movie about eating a man's liver with some "fava beans and nice chianti". It was great. And he proceeded to make the fast slurping sound a few times - that was really creepy! He talked about being on the set, and his inspiration for playing Lecter and then acting and directing and writing in general. He also talked about being creative and reading everything and anything and he made a comment about how many actors today are a disgrace in how entitled they seem. All in all, a fascinating evening! And I still can't believe that I watched Silence of the Lambs in same room with Hannibal Lecter!

UPDATE: Sometimes I forget my blog is on the World Wide Web and not just my friends' computers. I recently got a comment on this particular blog, by someone anonymous that said:

Could you expand a little more on what he said about his inspiration(s) were for the character ? He has mentioned HAL the computer in 2001, in the past and a dentist in his home town in Wales. Would be interesting to know if he drew on anything else.

Mr. Hopkins did spend a lot of time talking about acting, which is interesting to me but not fascinating. And since the majority of the audience was acting students, us screenwriters did not get a chance to ask any questions. What he did say was that he simply created the character from what was on the page and what was in his imagination. He said he tried reading a book on serial killers and it got into his head and messed up his idea and so he threw it away. I remember that specifically because I wondered if he literally threw the book in the trash. He did not mention the computer or the dentist but then again, it's been a few years and I know sometimes memories change a little.

8 years comin'

I've been wearing my Obama '08 shirt all over town. And I've been so enjoying the conversations with friends and family about voting and change in general. I think it's so cool that our country comes together, even when ideals separate us, on one day, to celebrate democracy. No matter how differently we may all believe, we all want to make a difference, we all want our voices heard.

I love that some of her family got to vote for the first time today, in their first presidential election, and that they were excited about it. I love that people all over the country sent me texts and emails and messages to tell me they'd voted, and then that our guy won. I love that it's something we all get caught up in, especially tonight - it's like the Olympics in that way, it pulls us closer as a nation. And that's what I hope President Obama will do for us. I mean, just listen to his acceptance speech (I also love that he's an AWESOME public speaker. Seriously, it will no longer be painful to listen to the president speak, how about that!):

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

And the truth that he speaks, he says what I think so many of us are feeling right at this very moment:

“It’s been a long time coming. But tonight, because of what we did on this date, in this election, change has come to America.”

Change. It's been a long time comin', a very long time. And I can't wait to see what it looks like!

What I Know for Sure

Friday something happened that hasn't happened for me in months. I finished my To-Do List. I was so happy. Of course there are those big things still (edit my novel, write my screenplay, etc.) but I got everything else done. All the cards sent, emails answered, bills paid, calls made, etc. That meant that Saturday morning while Angela was gone to her National Board class I got to hang out. So I made myself a cup of tea, gave myself the whole day off from writing (something I haven't done in over two months) and curled up on the couch with two months' worth of Oprah magazines. I skimmed a lot, read a lot and then came upon the last page in the latest issue. It was an essay by Oprah about a question she'd been asked years before in an interview. She talked about then and now and made her list. The question was, "What do you know for sure?"

I've been thinking about this question for the past day. And I decided to make my own list.

What I know for sure

1. I am loved. (I know I am a very lucky girl because I hear this many times a day. Whether it's from friends and family in person or online. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people in my life who love me and share their love. I really cannot tell you how much this gets me through the day.)
2. I love to write. I like to play with words, write them, type them, anything, everything.
   
3. Singing really loud in the car always makes me feel better.
4. When I eat healthier I feel better.
5. No matter how great the vacation was, it always feel good to get home.
6. There is no such thing as a quick trip to the grocery store.
   
7. Families are all different, and all a little crazy. Mine is not unique in that.
8. Petting a cat means an immediate smile.
   
9. I love school. I love learning new things and taking notes and being a student.
   
10. People are going to hurt me. No matter how hard I try to protect myself, I can't 100% of the time. And that's just the way it is.
11. I am going to heaven.
    
12. I watch too much TV and I'm not afraid to admit it.
13. Money is important in life. But so is being happy and doing what you feel you need to do.
14. I am just getting started.
15. No matter how old I get, Christmas morning still makes me feel like a little kid. I love that.
    
16. I have no right to judge anyone. And while I still might, I'll keep trying really hard not to.
    
17. My mom is the best cook in the world.
18. Communication is the most important skill we have.
    
19. My dad is the most patient person I know.
20. I can do anything if I wake up in the morning and give it my all.
    

What do you know for sure?