I've been lamenting that the waiting is hard. The waiting and the stewing and the dreaming and the hoping and the wishing. All of it. Very hard.
And POOF! Just like that, you're not waiting any more.
Yesterday I got an email that confirmed what my heart already knew. The television network that I've been working with since June passed on my pilot. They decided that our script, our TV show, didn't match their target audience. An it's not you, it's me speech if I've ever heard one.
Now, I'm not alone in this experience. Hundreds of writers all over this town will get their hopes and dreams dashed this month and next. That's pilot season for ya. However, this is new to me. This thing called hope, it was new when it came to television writing for me.
I've never had anyone so interested in my work. I've never had someone put so much time and effort and energy into my work. And lord, it was wonderful. And then it wasn't. I kind of knew it was going to happen. In this town they say love is shown with a check. I hadn't received one yet. And there wasn't talk of one. So I knew. But it still hurts. A lot.
But...it's also time to move on. I've done some grieving of this experience, I'll likely do some more over the next little while, but as one of the best people I know told me last week, us good Christian girls know how to handle things like this. There's no 'this is the end', there's only what's to come.
The producers I've been working with, who actually got me the pitch in the first place, are still with me. They are excited to keep moving forward, to shop this pilot and others of mine to networks all around town. We'll meet this week to devise a plan. I'm so excited about that. So excited to not have been completely laid aside. Because once you get a little hope, you only want to add to it.
So...in the words of my favorite fictional president (frankly, just my favorite president, fictional or otherwise) Jed Bartlett (and his muse Aaron Sorkin), I put my hands in my pockets and say,
"What's next?"
2 comments:
Rae Marie Jacobsen-Sowell
To be clear, I like your attitude about this, NOT the fact that they passed! Good things are coming for you, I just know it!
ItsDaniela Hook
can I just say that while I am sad that this happened...I am so proud of you and all you have done and what you have accomplished.. two thumbs up!!!
Bonnie Jacobs
Liked because of your "I still have hope for what's next" attitude & what you have accomplished so far. Sad that it got passed over.
Jamee Boutell Brick
I love the mental image of you with your hands in your pockets, asking "What's next?" Love you so!! XOOXO
:( I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you this time. On the other hand, you've grown and learned so much professionally through this experience. Your time will come.
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