Monday, March 30, 2009

A process

Here's the thing I've slowly learned about writing. It's a process.

It doesn't just happen, it takes time and deliberate effort. It takes thought and planning and intention. It takes dedication and determination. And I'm not just talking about term papers or newspaper articles. I'm talking about every kind of writing from blogs to reports to letters to grandma to poems to screenplays. Writing is a process.

I've been working on my next screenplay for a few weeks now. I got the idea a few months ago and let it roll around in my head before bringing it to the light of day. I honestly cannot remember where I got the idea. Anyway, I finally decided to take it out for a test run. So one night when I was driving my friend Marc home from class, which I do every Wednesday night, I ran it by him. He told me if he was a studio exec he'd by it on the title alone. (And this is why you're not getting the title out of me, not yet anyway!) We talked and I was encouraged, and thankful for his opinions.

Then I had to pitch an idea to my section class a few weeks ago so I pitched this idea. And the response was, well, very good. I immediately got suggestions of old movies to watch, of how to proceed, even of jokes I could use. (We had quite the tangent going!) Again, I was encouraged.

As I've spent the last two weeks rewriting and editing my first script, Love and Embalming Fluid, this new idea has been running through my brain. I've got a few pages down but haven't had the time to do much else with it. And then I got an assignment from my new section teacher, who I haven't formally met yet, to create two five-minute pitches for our first class. And I got nervous. I started thinking, what if it sucks, what if it's a dumb idea and these people, these people who've become my friends over the last twenty-plus weeks, my writing family, were just being nice and humoring me.

So I thought some more and decided, no, it's a good idea (this thought was especially cemented after seeing I Love You, Man this weekend and some of the previews of upcoming movies, mine is not that far out there, trust me), in truth, it's a really good idea.

And yet I put off my homework for the last two weeks. Certainly not the thinking part of it, every night when I lay down I see scenes from this movie in my head or think of what I'll write for this or that scenario (I am so excited about one of the golf scenes, you do not know!). But the homework's due tonight so I finally made the decision to get it down on paper. And I did, I wrote the opening, of how we'll meet the main character. But you know what? I didn't actually come up with the idea, which is so great, Angela did. Yep. Angela.

See I tend to talk about my writing and my characters like they're real people, because to me, they are. I live with them, with them in my head, me in their heads, for months, years sometimes. Seriously. Some of the characters I am still working on have been around for nine, ten years. Just hanging out in my brain. (And this is why I cannot remember names very well or anything to do with numbers. I get a pass right? I mean I have all these people taking up space in my brain. It's just not possible to keep everything straight.) And if you live with me, then you're bound to hear about them. You're also bound to be forced into reading page after page, rewrite after rewrite and be subjected to questions like, "where exactly did you chuckle?" or "does the handkerchief make sense?"

Now let me back up a few years. I've had this idea for a film scene in my head for a while. A long while. It's this really cool shot of golf carts forming a kind of parade, filmed from up above. I've known what the scene will be and how it'll look forever. Seriously. This is the kind of stuff that fills up my phone number brain cells. And since I live with Angela, she knows this scene well too. We've been talking about my new script this weekend a little, casting choices, etc. All that very important stuff to consider when you don't even have an outline yet. And last night she had a brainstorm. She came up with a great opening scene for my new script that incorporates my main character and this scene I've had in my head.

So yeah, I'm excited. I finally wrote it up today after stewing on it and I'll see how it goes over tonight. Either way I'm thrilled because the new screenplay is starting to form. It's a process but such a fun, collaborative, creative process. And I'm the architect who's getting the ball rolling!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

That's something...

I have been fortunate in my life to always have a car when I need one. First there was the trusty Ford Tempo my dad would let me borrow in high school. It was a treat to drive because you had to use two feet, keeping one on the gas at all times so it wouldn't stall out.

Then there was the Dodge Intrepid. I loved that car. We got it used but it was big and comfy and I felt like I owned the road when I drove it. And drive it we did, about into the ground. It kept Ang and I going for years, through college and grad school, through a summer in Tennessee (where she took it literally, over the cliff of a mountain), and on mission trips. It was a good car. Until it started to rot. There were tire issues, there was a transmission issue, I think an alternator issue. And we got screwed several times. How was I supposed to know no one in their right mind needs a $200 "special" oil change. Whatever.

But getting screwed when it comes to cars wasn't new territory. My dad got screwed once when he bought a used car from a friend (see paragraph one). And once, on our way to Disney World for the first time ever when I was ten, our brakes failed. The brand new brakes our neighbor had installed for us. And then there was the transmission that had to be replaced twice because the first guy didn't know what he was doing. Yeah. Long history of being screwed over by mechanics.

So I am leery to take my car to just anyone. When I'm home, it's Mike on the corner. He's been our go to guy for years. He fixes everyone's car in the family, the extended family too. Needless to say I was ecstatic when I bought my first BRAND NEW car out of grad school. And now, that the car's seven years old, it apparently isn't brand new anymore.

There was the battery issue a month or so back, with the infamous tows. And the corrosion in the battery block. Then my friend Michael drove my car a few weeks ago and said I needed to get the routers checked (I don't know what they are but they sound important because I do know they deal with the brakes). And Angela had a hard time stopping on a hill a couple weeks ago. Then there's the back hatch issue - the trunk won't open. Since November. And last time I was in they said I needed tires. So yeah, I knew there were issues. Issues you want to pretend just aren't there.

But I was getting this nagging feeling (God poking me perhaps) that I needed to take care of them. And when Angela's car needed to go into the shop this week for a new battery, I figured we'd go together. So off we went - to the dealership. And yes, I know what everyone says, dealerships rip you off. They're expensive. But you know what, I don't care. They're the only ones besides Mike I trust frankly.

So off we went to the dealership yesterday, in the Valley. Angela's car got done rather quickly, just a battery, checkup and oil change. But I wasn't so lucky. My car has to stay for a while.

Apparently I have brake fluid leaking from the rear brakes. And need all new tires. And a new battery block and connector cord. And an oil change. And a rear opening mechanism. And I might just have it painted purple while I'm there. What the heck, right? Everything else is going to be brand new.

So yeah, my car is still in the Valley. Will be until Saturday most likely. Between my classes, Angela's after school jobs, my internship, traffic, and when they close, we can't get up there before that. But we'll make it this week. We always do. And I'm thankful. Really thankful. Because I have a car. I have a family who helps me take care of it. And the tires didn't fly off when I couldn't stop. So that's something.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Internship

Finally. Let me just say that again.
Finally.

Something good happened. In a day filled with purchasing car batteries, returning car batteries, moving cars around the street, being overly frustrated by life, I got some good news.

I got the internship I'd applied for and "auditioned" for. Yep yep!

I'll be interning with Gold Circle Films, here in Los Angeles. They're an independent production company whose recent hits include The Wedding Date, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, New in Town, The Haunting in Connecticut, etc. And I am so geeked!

In order to get the job I had to write sample coverage, and that's what I'll be doing during my internship mostly - writing coverage. Coverage is basically two pages about a new script, kinda like the crib sheet or Cliff Notes. It includes some details, a synopsis and an analysis. It's what's sent to the higher ups in the company to determine whether or not they'll consider the project for production. (The basic entry-level job for all us industry folks.)

The script I covered was a horror movie and I basically broke the script down into three parts (one for each act) and then talked about what I thought worked and what I thought didn't work. This was actually the first time I'd written coverage and I thought it was a great learning experience, it helped me to figure out pacing and structure in a practical sense and then discuss what I thought about the script. Very cool, well to me anyway.

So yeah, I don't know the details yet but I'm excited. Finally. Something positive!!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Eggs

We all know what's in an egg when we crack it, right? Well...not necessarily. See sometimes the egg is hard-boiled, like the really tasty one I had for lunch (how can eggs taste different week to week, I have no idea but these eggs were from Sam's Club, maybe they have special tasty chickens working on the egg line). Sometimes it's raw and gets all over the counter when the shell is too hard to crack regularly and I have to hit it harder and it splatters. And once in a while you get a double yolk. (Which, for some reason, my seventh graders always considered "soooo gross" when it happened in FACS class).

But I got to thinking today that life is a lot like an egg. We all know what's inside but we're not quite sure how it's gonna present itself. Maybe it'll be hard-boiled, maybe it'll be raw, maybe it'll be disfigured and revolting, or maybe it'll be a fluffy pale yellow chick like you see in the Easter commercials.

Well lately my eggs have been rotten. Well, that's not fair, they haven't all been rotten. Some have been tasty and I've even given up the salt I used to sprinkle them with. Some have been fluffy when fried with cheese and served up next to toast. But some I've thrown in the trash can without even cracking, for fear of what was inside. I knew what was inside and I wanted none of it.

In one respect, life is good. I'm alive for starters. I am on the giving end of the Homeless Lunch line. I have a family who supports me unfailingly despite all my urgings not to. I have friends who seem to know just what I need to hear and say it to me constantly. I am writing well, my script is almost ready to be submitted to the big contest at school and to several industry folks. I have a new idea I'm working on that I love. I've had the opportunity to chat on the phone with several of my students and they're really great people. I've seen a lot of movies lately. I just finished reading a book. Not a script, a real book. I get to meet Diablo Cody in a few weeks (yes, I know, I'm a dork).

But then there's the other side. And I've blogged about it. I've complained about it on Facebook. I've cried over it. I've been angry and resentful and well, not in a good mood. And that sucks. I know, it's hard out there for everyone. I should be lucky I have any type of job at the moment. But sometimes, well, sometimes the eggs you get just stink. They're past their expiration date and you can't do anything with them, not even hard-boil them (which was always Mom's cure all for about to expire eggs). But I just have to wonder - will I ever get better eggs? Will there be a time when my eggs never expire? I'm not so sure. (Especially after going outside this morning, to go volunteer at 5P21, to find Ang's car dead. Yeah. Another dead car. Seriously? Do you have to throw the rotten eggs at me?)

But I do have hope and I guess that's the point of all this. I know things will be okay (and not just because that's what my grandpa used to say). If I didn't know that, what else would I have?

This morning I opened my email to find this forward, and it struck me. So much so that I printed it out on hot pink paper and posted it above my desk. And I thought I'd share it with you all. Just in case you got some bad eggs of your own this week...
Failure doesn't mean - "You are a failure,"
It means - You have not succeeded.

Failure doesn't mean - "You accomplished nothing,"
It means - You have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean - "You have been a fool,"
It means - You had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean - "You don't have it,"
It means - You were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean - "You are inferior,"
It means - You are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean - "You've wasted your life,"
It means - You have a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean - "You should give up,"
It means - "You must try harder.

Failure doesn't mean - "You'll never make it,"
It means - It will take a little longer.

Failure doesn't mean - "God has abandoned you,"
It means - God has a better way for you.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Odds are

UPDATE:
Yeah, things could apparently get worse. Last night I was standing in the entry way between the living room and the dining room and saw something on the wall. I went to wipe it off and stopped. It was wiggling. So I got a napkin and wiped it off. All I got was the head. I had to pull the rest of it out - legs and all, out of a nail sized hole in the wall. I AM SO NOT JOKING.

We looked it up online and it appears to be some sort of burrowing termite. STILL NOT JOKING. It was fine, whatever, until a few minutes later I leaned against the wall and freaked out. Not just scared myself but had one of those moments where you completely lose yourself and have no control over your response to the situation. This never happens to me. Seriously. I am always in control. ALWAYS. But I started crying and shaking and I think it was just the last straw. The final bug. The THING that broke me.

I'm fine now but I just wanted everyone to know what happened in case I end up in the looney bin.

Things have to turn around, right? I mean it just seems as if lately it's bad news on top of bad news, one thing after another. And not just in the world but in my house.

We get rid of the ants, we find black widow spiders out back, oh and flies hatched. In our house. And they won't leave. We get the gates fixed, the washing machine starts throwing up. We move two steps forward with the landlord, two steps back. I don't know.

Angela got her pink slip Friday. We were so hopeful it wouldn't come. We had people praying in all different time zones. We were hopeful. We rationalized. We talked to people. But it still came. And as I signed for it I realized that while I firmly believe in my heart that everything happens for a reason, I hardly ever understand.

Oh and then Ang's phone got lost and then stolen Saturday. Yes. Things have to get better, right?

But there is a bright side. I've been walking for 10 days now - just 30 minutes but I've gotten my route down a little and I am going to start expanding on it this week. I can't do much more than that but I feel like it's something. It's about all my brain can wrap itself around right now and while I would love to do more, for right now, it's something. And I just finished my second quarter at UCLA and my screenplay is going so well. I'm on the fourth draft and it'll be finished by March 30th in time to turn in to the school. And I have a good chance at an internship with a production company, I had a phone interview this morning and am going to write some coverage (what the movie's about, what I thought, etc.) and turn it in and see how that goes.

Other than that life has been work (don't get me started - I got a bad review last week for making ONE mistake. ONE TINY MISTAKE. And yeah, I'm not happy) and school and writing and surviving. One day at a time. It's about all we can handle.

But odds are things have to get better, right? I mean, they have to. I firmly believe that. I do. I really really do.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Along my path




Today was Day 4 of my re-commitment to exercising, namely walking, every single day. Yes, yes. Re-re-commitment, whatever.

And because it's been SO nice outside I've made a point of getting out of the house to exercise and I'm so glad when I do, even if I procrastinate about getting there. Because spring is here folks, at least in Southern California, and it's beautiful. It's full of flowers and blue skies and light breezes and sunshine. So why wouldn't I be out there, right?

Today I decided I needed to take some pictures "along my path" so I did. And even though I tripped twice and felt a little like a paparazzi or someone casing the joint, I took my pictures. There's a few of them here and the rest are on Facebook.

What's popped up "along your path" lately?

Friday, March 06, 2009

Very. Cool. Day.

(This is a picture of Angela in "autopsy" - we didn't take cameras but one of the make-up ladies insisted we take a picture so I used my camera phone, not great but fun just the same!)

Tuesday was a first for me, and I'm hoping not a last. It was my first time on a film set. Ever. Yeah. I was pretty freaking excited.

I have friends who think it's no big deal because they've done it before but as a writer, it's something I know might not happen a lot, and as someone who's pretty new to the whole business, I feel I reserve the right to be excited about it. So I am. Still. Seriously excited.

I didn't set out to be a screenwriter. It was never on my radar when I was in high school or even in college. Sure I loved movies and I really loved television. ER inspired me to read books about the MCAT and med school, not film school. The West Wing prompted me to interview for jobs in D.C. not Los Angeles. Alias made me fill out the ridiculously long CIA application, not consider a career in acting.

But then I got this idea for a story. See I'd been writing stories my entire life. My closet is filled with plastic file boxes full of notebooks (no I won't recycle them and no I won't let anyone read them). But these were short stories, seedlings for novels. Novels are what I knew and what I thought, maybe one day, I could write. Screenplays? I really had no idea what they were.

But back to the idea. I got this idea. About an actress who wins an Oscar and all this stuff happens. And I didn't just know and write the story, I saw the story. I saw her hearing her name read during the nominations ceremony. I saw her standing outside of her burning apartment (it's a comedy, really). I SAW HER. I SAW THE STORY.

And that's when I realized it needed to be a movie. So I started writing a script - on my old laptop, without any fancy software, just me, looking at a book from the library about formatting, and my story. And that's when I got the bug.

Fast forward nine years later. (Yes, I know, NINE YEARS.) And as my mom said yesterday, "If I would have told you you'd be hanging out on the set of NCIS six months ago, you would have thought I was crazy." I would have and I still think it's crazy. But that's where I was on Tuesday. On the set of a top five television show. Coolest day ever.

I won't go into a lot of it because 1) it's just too fun to tell in person, so if you wanna know - call me or email me or ask me and 2) I've found out my blog has become quite popular on the NCIS chat/fan boards. When I walked into the production offices Tuesday one of the assistants said, "Are you Sarah, the friend with the blog? The wedding post was great! Thanks for sharing!" And it's not that I am not glad people are reading my blog - it's just that, well, this was a very cool experience and I don't wanna be that person. You understand.

But I'll give you a taste, because, well, coolest day ever and all.

First off, everyone was so unbelievably nice. I mean, remembering our names, taking the time to greet us and explain their jobs to us and make sure we could see and hear and were having fun. (And I don't just mean assistants, who were so nice, but the director who kept asking if we could see the video feeds and if we were enjoying ourselves!). So yeah, such a great, loving environment that it seems pretty amazing to work in everyday. And yeah, I know, maybe they were just on their "company's here so we'd better smile" behavior but I don't think so.

I got to talk with the writer a bit too which was pretty exciting for me. Turns out he went to camp in Kalamazoo so we had a whole big discussion of that. And then we talked about shadow drafts and film programs (he went to SC - I found out it's uncool to call it USC) and how he thought I did not look old enough to be in grad school. Awww:-)

I learned how to enter and exit a makeup trailer - you must say "stepping in (or up, not sure)" or "stepping out" so that the people putting on mascara or eyeliner or giving a haircut can pause because the trailers wiggle.

I learned that the second to the last shot of the day is called the abby shot (named after Abby Singer, a director who still eats regularly at a diner in Studio City) and that the last shot of the day is called the martini shot. What I loved was that the director came over and regaled these tales to me in the middle of shooting!

I learned that the halls of NCIS are short (and very orange) and they sometimes walk back and forth to make them seem longer when they are shooting scenes.

I learned that some of the stand-ins and extras have been with the show it's entire run which I thought was pretty cool. I'm going to watch in the next couple of weeks for the guy who read a magazine the entire time they rehearsed and shot (over 3 hrs). Seriously, what a job!

I learned what "sides" are. They are the day's script pages, shrunk in half, so that the actors and everyone can carry them easily and refer to them when needed. I also learned all about the day's call sheet.

I learned that the craft services table does really look like it does in the movies - tons of food, candy, etc. And the chicken salad was pretty amazing.

I learned how they make the same room appear to be day and night in the same five minutes.

I learned that just as there are "military brats" there are "set rats" - meaning kids who've grown up on a set (but not kid actors). We met a little girl who was too cute and seemed completely unfazed to be there, unlike me.

And finally, I learned that sometimes, the stars of the show are just as excited about their jobs and their shows and your visits as you are. And that made the day just so much cooler.

(Well that and being INSIDE Mark Harmon's trailer.)

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Lenten Devotional

I agreed to write a Lenten devotional for our church booklet and today is my day. My assigned scripture was Isaiah 53:1-4.
...Surely he has born our grief and carried our sorrows...

In Hollywood it’s easy to get lost in the crowd, especially if you’re a little less of a looker than say, Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. In a town filled with would-be actors and models, it can be intimidating to walk down the street in your no-name jeans and Wal-mart purse.

Maybe that’s how Jesus felt when he walked the streets in his day because that’s certainly how he’s described in Isaiah: “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him” (Isaiah 53:2). “Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not” (Isaiah 53:3).

He wasn’t beloved, he wasn’t given an “atta boy” or props for a job-well done, no paparazzi were waiting to take his picture. Instead there was suffering. There was rejection. There was pity.

We’ve all experienced it, felt it, seen it. We know what it’s like to be looked down upon, for our outward appearance, our opinion, our lifestyle, or even our faith. Now imagine knowing that you are about to save the very people who have treated you this way. The people who’ve ridiculed you, called you names, disregarded you so completely.

Jesus knew what he had to do. What he was destined to do. He carried with him that burden. And yet, he also carried with him grace. Did he sink to the level of those who called him names? No. Did he try to change their opinions of him by dressing or acting differently? No.

Jesus did what he was supposed to do. What we’re all supposed to do. Keep our heads held high, live our lives, believe in our choices, and ourselves, and get on with it. Was he happy during this time? I don’t know. Am I happy as I struggle along my path? Not always. So I am guessing he wasn’t. But he knew what he had to do and did it.

I think waiting can be seen in two ways: a period of stagnation or a period of working toward what we want or need. Jesus used his period of waiting to work toward his goal, what he knew he had to do. And I’m going to use this Lenten season the same way, to work toward my goal – to be a little more like Jesus, no matter what the people around me think.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Before and after

The lease on our house had only one perk for us, a gardener. We didn't ask that this clause be added, it was in there and we were happy - we don't own any gardening tools and didn't want to spend the time doing the yard. And when we moved in the place looked very uncared for (see here to prove it). And then our lovely neighbor Bill offered to spruce up the place. Over the course of several weeks he worked, filling the yard waste containers time and time again. Almost a month later I found him in the backyard, still working away. And the results were beautiful.

And then we asked when our gardener would show. And we asked again. And again. And finally, seven months later (after a strongly-worded email mentioning legal counsel), I met our gardener on Saturday morning!

He's a great guy who likes to chat and who spent over four hours weed whipping our yard! But the results - so much better! (Check out all my pics on Facebook!)

So who wants to come over and enjoy our newly shorn patio?!?!?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oscar Party

Sunday was a pretty big day here in Los Angeles. Kinda like a city-wide holiday. Yep, that's right. It was the Academy Awards ceremony.

Now I grew up watching the Oscars, not religiously but we'd usually watch the red carpet, ooh and ah over the dresses, etc. Sometimes we'd watch a few awards but usually go to bed before the big ones were given out - I'm still not sure why they insist on a telecast that often times goes until midnight or after in the east - and find out who won in the morning. Some years were more fun than others, when I'd actually seen a movie or two that had been nominated. This year was very different.

Since I started film school at UCLA in September I've watched 40 movies and read 22 scripts. Many of them nominated for awards Sunday. I'm pretty sure this is more movies than I've seen in many other years combined. So I felt like I knew what was going on (maybe this is how a lot of arm-chair quarterbacks feel about the Superbowl). I predicted my share of winners and losers and could intelligently discuss many of the films and performances nominated (I still have absolutely no love for costume design or any of that, and yes, I know it's important but still - give those awards in non-prime time!).

This year I decided to watch the Oscars at our church, where they have a party every year. I was quickly pulled onto the planning committee (amidst my protests) and ended up having a lot of fun. We spent over four hours decorating on Saturday and then a good portion of Sunday preparing as well. We ate, we got our pictures taken on the red carpet and with our own Oscars, we predicted the winners, we gave out door prizes and we were in community. I think that was the best part of all.

I loved cheering for Sean Penn's win along with everyone else in the room, I loved snarking over some of the dresses and hairstyles with my friends, I loved getting all dressed up and feeling a part of it all.

A wonderful night to celebrate a wonderful year of film. My first year in the business and at the party. Certainly not my last on either account.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Today

Back in January I vowed to get back in shape. To lose weight. To be better to myself. I have and I haven't. For instance, I fell off the WW train last week and stayed off, until Monday. I know better. And then I promised myself starting Monday I would floss EVERY SINGLE DAY. (If there are those of you out there who do this, major props to you. I floss frequently but there are nights when I am almost too exhausted to brush my teeth, much less anything else. And yes, I know better. And yes, I have huge dental charges on my stupid Visa. Whatever.) And then we ran out of floss. And I haven't been to the store yet. Plus, floss is super expensive! (And yes, I know, so are dentures!)

Anyway. I am trying again. Monday I began eating better. I walked in the bedroom while Ang watched TV (raining too hard to walk outside). I did some weight exercises. But I just felt like a loser. And not the Biggest Loser, I wish. (Ang and I went to the bookstore Friday night and read their new jump start book - it didn't tell me the secret. So I didn't buy it.) So today I decided to try again.

I had hopes of joining a gym. Not the expensive gyms I see on every corner. Not the family-friendly YMCA I keep thinking about. Just the Curves by Ang's school that I could walk to and do some weight training at with an instructor for thirty bucks a month. But then I didn't get paid (yeah, STILL haven't seen a penny from UoP) and more doctor/dentist bills came in and then the car insurance bill arrived in my inbox and I realized that I would not be joining a gym. In fact, after almost five years I'll probably have to give up my WW account too (not sure if this is a big loss as I now know the program backward and frontward and sideways but it was always a comfort to have the amenities/encouragement available).

So today I went outside. I got out of my bed (because the heat doesn't work well I was under three blankets working) and laced on the beautiful tennis shoes my mom bought me a year ago and plugged in my trusty iPod and was on my way. And even though I only walked for thirty minutes, it felt good.

I stretched. I ran to the stop sign. I walked slowly to catch my breath. I ran across the street. I smiled when a butterfly almost sideswiped me. I smiled at some kids hanging over the fence yelling at the puppy in the street. I walked really fast while I listed to the Unit's theme song (the original theme song, the only theme song if you ask Ang) over and over again. I tried not to stare at the film shoot in the park. I laughed as the little dog jumped onto the curve and looked like a dog from a cartoon, ears flying behind him, tongue hanging out of his mouth. I sidestepped several mud puddles. I stepped in a clear puddle to clean my shoes (because as June Carter Cash says in Walk the Line - which I just read this morning - "we choose which puddles to step in"). I ran up the hill and realized that was not a good idea. I walked down a street in my neighborhood I've never been on before. I held my face up to the sun and smiled. I ran even though my legs felt tight and my throat burned. I walked some more.

And it all felt good. Being outside. Listening to music, not multitasking for a change. Not thinking about work or writing or bills or money or anything but the song lyrics and whether or not I could run past the green bit of grass to the driveway (I did, and then walked for ten more minutes). It felt so good. And I am grateful for that reminder. That even though the cupboards might be getting bare, the checkbook might be getting lighter, the worries might be piling up, I can still enjoy the beauty of Southern California on a February day. I still have legs that allow me to walk, and occasionally run. I am alive. And all I'm going to do is what I can. Today.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A very special Valentine's Day celebration


Part One: Pauley & Michael's Wedding
Saturday was a day we'd all been waiting for, our friends from church - Pauley and Michael - were getting married! Now I've been to my share of weddings, lots and lots of weddings. Some I've been excited about, some I've been a little less excited about. I've cut the cake, I've helped out the bride, I've done the prayer at the reception before we ate, I've read poems and scriptures during the ceremony, I've done my share of participating. I've also done my share of sitting in the pew, smiling, listening, wiping away tears, being happy for everyone involved.

And Saturday was no different. I stood guard outside the door while the bride got dressed. I sat in the pew and smiled, agreed to support their marriage, teared up when they said their own vows. But there was something different on Saturday, something I realized somewhat driving home from the reception that night and realized fully on Sunday after hearing a Catholic priest preach at our church.

The priest said that our relationships with other people are a privilege, not a right. Other people let us into their lives because they choose to, for no other reason. They don't have to - no one has to trust anyone else. And as I thought about that, and this wedding that I'd been invited to attend, something sunk in. I thought about how important the relationships in my life are. All of them. The relationships I've had for thirty-one years. The relationships I've had for just six months.

Sometimes, okay, all the time, I'm amazed at where life has taken me, where it's brought me, where God has lead me, the choices I've made, the choices others make, that bring us all to this very moment. To the moment of sitting there, listening to Pauley and Michael promise to love one another forever, wiping away tears for my friends. My friends. People who have invited me into their lives. Who've chosen to share moments with me. To love me. When I hugged Pauley as I was leaving the reception Saturday night, and she said, not for the first time that day, "I love you" - I smiled and said it back and thought, how amazing is God that He brings people into our lives, to affect our lives, to make our lives so much better, every single day. I am so blessed, not only by my relationship with Pauley and Michael but by every single person who I have a relationship with. All of you.

Part Two: A Hollywood Wedding
Yes, it was my friends' wedding day. It was beautiful and simple, just life them. No flowers except for one beautiful special daisy-filled bouquet, no fuss, just Pauley and Michael and Jesus and a profession of love.

But it was also a celebrity, Hollywood wedding! And yes, there were a few celebrities there. The entire cast of NCIS made it - including "Gibbs", "Ducky", "McGee", "Tony", "Ziva", "Jimmy", and even "Kate". And yes, my friends and I were totally star-struck. I mean how often can you say you're in the same room, at the same bar, as Mark Harmon?!?!?! Come on! So cool!

And no, I didn't get pictures of all of them, much to many people's dismay. But I did work up the courage to introduce myself to a few (does dancing with Cote de Pablo count?!?! I say yes!). And I did ask Sean Murray if we could take a photo with him, and he was very sweet, as was his wife.

Beyond the NCIS crew (and I did meet actual crew members including a producer!), there were also a few Boston Legal folks there (my friend David Dean Bottrell and the beautiful Meredith Eaton) and tons of other people.

So yes, my first celebrity wedding, complete with security, eco-friendly SUV shuttles, a fun digital photo booth that we took full advantage of, wonderful food, a few transvestites, dancing all night in three inch heels without a blister, and some of my favorite television stars. Oh, and all of my new Hollywood family! I don't think I've had a better Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Updates

I know some of you out there have been following the rat tales closely. Some of you have requested the problem be dealt with before visits are scheduled (working on it Mom). And some of you have had laughing fits over our predicament (you know who you are).

Well, after the last exterminator visit I wasn't feeling so great. I was told there were no more rats since we hadn't caught any in over two weeks. I was told there still was only one way for them to get in (the front freaking door). I was told that avocado in the traps was a last ditch effort.

And then the noise got worse. Angela described it as rats bowling in our attic and that was pretty accurate. And then the noise stopped and I thought, maybe, just maybe, I was crazy and it had been a squirrel or possum on the roof.

And then the exterminator came back today. AND I WAS VINDICATED. Yep, we got TWO MORE RATS. Take that men who called me crazy (with a look of course). Take that landlord who still hasn't called for a second opinion (I've learned that the attic should be cleaned out now, because there's obviously rat poop up there but our exterminators "don't do that"). Take that RATS!

So yeah, we still have rats. Hopefully come June they'll be gone (when Mom is coming). Hopefully the bowling league has ended and the last strike thrown.

In other news - the VUE is running fine. I still need to take her in to get a checkup and the back latch fixed but you know how it goes, the squeaky wheel gets the oil and nothing's squeaking right now.

I've finished my script, per my teacher's instructions, I'm putting it away for a while before a final polish when I submit it to the UCLA screenwriting contest. And that means, yep yep, I'm starting all over again with a new idea. I think I've got a fun one - straight up comedy this time, and I have an actor in mind which makes it fun to imagine him in the role. And yes, the main character is a guy so that'll be a new experience writing for me too.

I'm still working on the novel, need to start rewriting and weed through the list of agents and publishing houses I've been researching. Talk about a process.

Oh, and, the new job is going well. I'm teaching two English classes for the University of Phoenix and it's taken a lot more time than I anticipated but I'm finally getting into the swing of teaching online and all that goes with that. Best thing? Working in my pjs at 12am so I can write the next morning. Worst thing? Working in my pjs at 12am. :-)

Monday, February 09, 2009

You Oughta Know

Remember how I was going to do one new thing every weekend since I live in the fabulous city of angels? Yeah. I'm still trying. But January was a sucky month. And December was, well, December. But after a couple of cancellations and rearranged dates we finally got a bunch of girls together to go out on Saturday night!

And I can't wait to do it again.

Do you ever agree to do something and then immediately try to think of reasons why you shouldn't? Or can't?

I do.

It'll cost too much. I should be working. I should be writing. I should clean the house. The DVR is getting full. I need to watch a movie for class. I need to go grocery shopping. The house should be cleaned. I need to make some calls. It'll be boring. I won't have any fun. I need to lose 44 pounds first. The drinks are too expensive and I can't drink much anyway.

Yeah. Nothing worked. Especially when I found out my friends needed a ride. So I sucked it up and went. And I'm so glad I did.

We went to Fiesta Cantina. And it was a new thing in itself, I had never been there before. But let me tell you a little more about Fiesta Cantina. They have 2 for 1 drinks during happy hour (even though I was the designated driver I got the Diet Coke hookup for two bucks!). They have really good nachos (which you get for free when the waiter forgets to put your order in, bonus! No, really! Bonus! I was psyched!)

And did I mention that it's a gay bar, in West Hollywood? Yeah. It was great! Seven girls, cheap drinks, a bar full of some fierce gay guys (who can dance like mad!), and awesome music! We're talking old school Madonna, Beyonce, Tiffany!, and of course, Alanis Morissette. My favorite moment of the night was when we were all done with our food (and drinks for the most part) and just hanging out at this ridiculously huge table because the crowd has cleared, and Alanis' song "You Oughta Know" comes on and without missing a single beat we all start screaming the lyrics. It was great! And to make it even better, the bar got quiet and everyone smiled, at us. Too funny. Yeah, you see, they knew at that moment that we were having the best night. Food. Drinks. Friends. Good music. No one worrying about anything else.

Fiesta Cantina won't be a one-stop wonder. We'll be going back. Soon.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Six more weeks of this? Well okay!



I don't wanna brag or anything but this has got to be one of the best parts of living in Southern California. These roses are in bloom. In my backyard. In February. And it's 84 degrees outside. I'm just sayin'.

Monday, February 02, 2009

25 Random Things

1. I hate going to the dentist but absolutely love how my teeth feel after a cleaning. I've often thought I'll get my teeth cleaned the day before my wedding (or the Oscars, which ever comes first).
2. I believe you can learn to like something by trying it 10 times. This is how I learned to eat, and enjoy, broccoli.
3. If something is too popular too quick, I tend to disregard it. (e.g., the Harry Potter books - which I only read after I saw the first movie on video even though Grandma MacDonald tried to get Ang and I to go to the movie with her in the theater and we declined. I regret that now.)
4. I am obsessed with To-Do Lists. I currently have one on my desk, four posted above my desk, and another in my calendar.
5. I have been on Weight Watchers for over five years and have lost over 95 pounds. I have since gained some back. I struggle with this every single day.
6. I love taking pictures and still have black and white film in the fridge. Some day I'd love to have a darkroom in my house (I learned how to work in one back at church camp and then helped my college roommate Kelly who was a photography major).
7. I am not a fan of dogs.
8. I am great in job interviews.
9. I can never eat a tootsie roll pop without biting it.
10. I think I am a fast reader but I am not as fast as my dad, Angela, or my mom.
11. I have a list of things I'd like to do in my life. I haven't checked off a lot of the list yet.
12. I will go to France one day and I will take my parents to Greece and Italy.
13. I love water - pools, lakes, showers. I could take an hour long shower every day if I had the luxury.
14. I have broken my ankle too many times to count. I've only been in a cast twice (one plaster, one an immobilizer) but the doc said there are tons of tiny little cracks in the bone.
15. I started taking golf lessons when I was about seven and was captain of my high school and college teams. I didn't really enjoy playing on a team until college and oddly enough, now that I don't play competitively, I am a way better golfer.
16. I wrote a lot for the Olivet College newspaper while I was a student but never became a staff writer because I didn't want to be told what to write. And I didn't really care for the editor. I think that set the tone for my life - being picky and doing what feels right.
17. My favorite Christmas ornament is a mouse in a matchbox that Ben Roxberry gave to me in 1977. Yes, it was our first Christmas. And yes, we were three and two months old respectively.
18. I cry over commercials. I cry over TV shows. I cry over stories I read. I cry a lot. I think this is cathartic.
19. I love orange Tic-Tacs but must have three to five at a time (depending on how many are in the box).
20. If I could spend a day with anyone who's passed away it would be Brownie, my cat.
21. I have three pairs of eye glasses and wish I could afford more. But the pair I go to every night at home is at least eight years old.
22. I need Vernor's ginger ale when I'm sick. No matter what kind of sick I am. I blame my mother for this dependency. And I am very thankful it's available in Los Angeles.
23. I have a shelf of journals that are completely filled up. Also, this year, for the first time ever, I tore two pages out of a journal and shredded it. Yes, I was that angry and hurt.
24. I am obsessed with all things "West Wing" and anything having to do with the actual presidency, always have been. In fact, I drug my father to the White House at 4am in 2001 so we could get tickets for a tour. Seven hours later we got inside. Someday I'll be in there again.
25. I have a fear of cleaning toilets that stems from an incident involving hydrochloric acid (toilet bowl cleaner) in my eye when I had my first apartment alone. But on Friday night I cleaned the toilet and nothing happened. I'm still not over my fear.
26. (Because I like to bend the rules) I have seen the musical "Rent" three times on stage. I have seen the movie. And I have literally memorized the soundtrack. (I am singing it right now as I type.) This is all because of Jamee Boutell - she and I listened to the soundtrack before either of us knew what the show was, when I visited her the first time in Texas when we'd just graduated high school. In fact, I knew every word to the entire thing BEFORE I'd seen a minute of the show.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Another week

I can't believe it's February already. It's been another crazy week here at Casa Knapp but things are quieting down now. I have spent the past seven days worried about my car and the good news is - it's finally fixed! After an $80 jump, a $85 battery, a $98 tow, and a $48 positive connector cable (yes, in that order), it works! I'm still a bit nervous when I get behind the wheel but so far so good, I've made it to the grocery store and back and didn't need cab fare!

I did try to change the battery myself, with the help of my neighbor Bill. He took me to Auto Zone where the girl assured me I needed a new battery without even testing the old (that's quite a talent I say, knowing if a battery's gone bad without even hooking it up to be charged) and then helped me put the new one in. (And can I just say my engine area has never been cleaner? Apparently it was a bit too dirty for Bill's taste so he made me go get my vacuum cleaner and spruce it up. Angela was not impressed about the vacuuming.) But it still didn't work.

So I got my friend Jim to come over Friday (I spent a large part of the week also pretending my car wasn't dead, this worked okay and I had decided it would work well until 2/14 when Ang and I had to be on separate sides of town at the same time) and he and Bill and I tried again but nothing. So I gave up, called the stupid tow truck company and sent it away. I had no idea where it was going (I had an address, that was it) and at that point I really didn't care. It wasn't even so much the money at this point but the energy I was having to put into the whole mess.

Two hours later, my car was fine. And I was ecstatic. Car Crisis of '09 over!

Other than that, Angela's sick with a bad cold. Which meant I spent Friday cleaning and cooking for her study group Saturday morning. Let's just say the house is spotless and I am hoping it stays that way for a while. Or forever. I would really be okay with having a cleaning person. I would not be one of those people who'd be freaked out by it. Just for the record. (And yes, I even cleaned the bathroom - including the toilet! And I can still see just fine!)

Cleaning all day Friday meant I got to spend some quality time with my iPod and the podcasts I've been downloading and meaning to get around too. I think in total I listened to over eight hours' worth on Friday: mostly screenwriting discussions. (Interesting factoid: Will Smith lives in a gated community - of his own. He bought a street and closed it off and it's his. Yeah. His own street. Wow.)

Oh, and I started my new job Monday - teaching English classes for the University of Phoenix. Right now I have a mentor, and once I complete my first two classes I'll be a full-fledged faculty member. So this week I've been working one-on-one with my mentor doing prep work and tomorrow the class starts (students start checking in today but she told me to take the day off - the only one I'll get for the next nine weeks; yeah, that's right, UoP faculty have to work every single day which was so not in the brochure).

And I'm still plugging away at UCLA three nights a week - and loving my business class. This week Amy Baer, the CEO and President of CBS Films came to our class and can I just say, I want to work for her! Fingers crossed!

Oh yes - and the rats. Still here, in my humble-I-only-freaking-LIVE-HERE opinion. But what do I know? Because they've been skirting the traps and the exterminator's given up on me. He said he'd be in touch. I'm not holding my breath.

Okay, enough. Back to my other day job. Working on my second draft of my script, finishing up the Lenten devotional I thought sounded fun to write, and editing my novel. Ooh - there's also three hours of Lost on the DVR. Hmmm...choices!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Suitcases and all...

I have been told by not one but TWO Pest Control "Experts" that my rat problem has a solution. After getting up on the roof, and checking the house completely over several times my exterminator and his supervisor (who made an appearance today) made the determination that the only way the rats could have gotten in was to walk through the front door.

I am not making this up.

They pointed out to me that there is a space of about an inch between part of the front door and the carpet/floor, space enough for a rat to get through. Also, when just the screen door is open, there's a space of a couple of inches. I knew about the screen door, which is why we only leave it open when it's nice and never when it's dark. I hadn't realized that there was such a space when the front door was closed (now that I do I realize this probably accounts for some of the freezing temps in our house this winter and the problem WILL be fixed).

So here goes their theory: the rats came in through the front door, walked to the kitchen, got in the cabinet under the sink, and crawled up the attic to take up residence. Strange, I would have thought I'd have noticed rats and all their moving boxes coming in through the front door, even tiny suitcases would have raised my radar.

So yeah, that's their theory. When I pressed them on this, when I stood there incredulously shaking my head as they searched for rat droppings (I assured them if I had rat droppings they'd know it), they stuck to their story. I asked them how the rats all came in and went right up the attic (where three have sense been murdered - heed the warning all other vermin thinking of taking up residence at 4529 Abbey Place - it's not a safe neighborhood for your kind!) and stayed there. Their answer?

Rat urine.

Apparently the rats leave "breadcrumbs" so to speak for the others to find and follow. So not only am I now running a hostel for the three blind mice and their fellow travelers, I've got a house covered in rat pee? COME ON!

Yeah. It's been a stellar morning. But at least the rats have a new menu tonight - the traps had M&Ms in them and now they have walnuts, maybe it's not that I have smart rats, I just have picky rats. Personally, I think I have rats who have another food source since they've been living up there as long as I have been here. But then again, I'm not a pest control expert.

Side bar - there was slight gratification this morning when the supervisor confirmed that yes, rats can get in the walls between the two by fours and run up and down the walls. My landlord assured me that hearing something in the walls was impossible. Take that landlord!

But I still have rats. Or maybe squirrels. Or even an opossum. That's what the exterminators think I might be here now, since the rats have probably moved on (this bad economy's hitting everyone hard I guess): squirrels or an opossum on the roof. Yeah. And the three blind mice walked right through my front door, suitcases and all. Next time I wish they'd call first, I like to set out a light supper when I have overnight guests.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I might get a bus card

When I graduated with my master's I had to buy a car. Angela went to Tennesee and took the Intrepid we'd shared up until then (not that I was too sad - I loved driving that car and how much it held but I hated how much money I'd put into it). I was determined, after dealing with car issues most of my driving career, to buy a new car. And I did. A 2002 shiny red Saturn VUE. And it has been my solid companion for the past seven years.

I rarely thought twice about it, it always started, always ran well, I kept it lubed and oiled and all that good stuff. Even tried to get it tires before the big Grand Canyon trip but they weren't needed. It was one thing in my life I took for granted and enjoyed taking for granted.

Until Saturday.

Angela and I spent all day shopping for a dress, a dress for her to wear to a wedding in February. I already have a dress but if any of you out there have had to buy something to wear for a specific event, you know how difficult it can be. Nothing fits. Nothing is in your price range. The malls are crowded. The salespeople aren't helpful. The store is under construction (don't get me started). And so it was a long day. But we decided after sandwiches at home to try one more store at one more mall. And on our second store at the mall (Angela had a Macy's coupon, we had to look), she found a dress. We were estatic. And ready to go home and watch a movie and go to bed early.

You know what they say about making plans right? Yeah. God laughed. And not just a chuckle but a freakin' big ole belly laugh.

My VUE, my trusty car, was dead. No cough, no trying to start but not able to catch but out and out dead. The lights dead, the locks dead, the hazards dead. Everything. Dead. For no apparent reason other than it had served me for seven years and was done.

Did I mention it was Saturday night? At like 7:45pm? And that we were in the basement of a five story parking garage. Yeah. I was impressed.

Almost three hours later we got home. Did I mention the mall was FIVE miles down the road? Yeah.

Because, of course, a cell phone doesn't work in the basement of a parking garage, I had to go five flights up on escalators to get a signal. Once I got the number for security, I asked for a tow truck company's number and asked if I could leave my car overnight. They sent a guy down to us who was very helpful, talkative and all-around nice. After asking if I had a wrench, a screwdriver or any tools (oddly enough, don't carry my toolbox with me), he finally used my pocket wrench to get the battery cover off and jump the car. Nothing. So he jumped it again. Nothing.

After twenty minutes of charge still nothing. So we left the car for the night and made our way to the mall entrance. We found a Taxi Zone and waited. And waited. And called. And waited. Then we tried to get on the bus, which didn't go well. Apparently you need to have EXACT CHANGE. Not dollar bills, change, to ride the bus. Again, so not impressed.

Finally the cab we called came and as Ang scooted across the backseat she motioned wildly at the floor. I looked down and did a double take, yes, there on the floor was a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of guilt, I smiled. God was making sure we were okay. (Granted it was a $20.55 cent cab ride home but still - for five bucks we got a heck of a deal!)

This leads me to Sunday. Back to the garage. Car still dead. I'm angry and frustrated that I have to deal with this. But I do. We tried to get the battery out (made a stop at Auto Zone on the way there, got some little tool that proved utterly useless.) but after an hour and a half, gave up (we'd even gone back to Pep Boys during this time to borrow tools - yes, they lent us socket wrenches, and yes, I took them back). So I went back up the escalators and called the tow truck.

And three more hours passed.

Yeah. I am a relatively patient person. I am also a planner which is why when we left Sunday afternoon I threw two magazines and a script in the car. It goes without saying that we read everything. After a few more calls to the tow company I figure out that when they get to the garage and call me, and I don't answer, they cancel my call and leave. They do not realize (even though I've told them) that I have to wait for them in the basement with my car, where I get no cell service and when I go up the escalators every 20 - 30 minutes to check my voicemail, I have none. So yeah. Finally a tow truck is on its' way.

That's when I find out a tow truck can't fit in the basement, the ceilings are too low (did I mention that it's rained over the weekend and the basement actually looks a lot like the set of Water World? Seriously. Six inch deep puddles in some spots and constant dripping.) and get a little more agitated. This is also when the tow truck's friend mini-truck arrives and offers me a jump. Even though I've already told them I've tried jumping it and it didn't work. So I say fine, jump it until your heart's content and I went off to find Angela. (After five hours in the parking garage we took bathroom breaks, and of course she took hers at the moment the tow guy shows and I have to leave with him even though I'd been waiting for her on level 2. Seriously this is a freakin' comedy of errors people.)

When I get back to my car the tow guy is smiling and says I'm good. I am incredulous. He says the guy last night didn't know what he was doing and I'm fine now, it's running just fine. So we pay him $80 (we got a $5 discount for paying cash, whatever) and he leaves. We sit there, in our basement, and drink the Starbucks Ang had just gotten us (she was a trooper, not feeling great, dealing with me and even made me pancakes at 9pm last night!). And then we head home.

All is good. I'm done with this car mess I'm thinking. I'll take it in to Saturn this week, have it looked over, even get it a new battery just for kicks. And then I put it in reverse to back it into the driveway, just in case. And it dies. Lights. Locks. Everything. Dead.

And that started the fun portion of the evening when Angela and Sarah got to push a million pound SUV up an inclined driveway. And can I just say, the incline is like eight inches? And it took us a good thirty minutes? Yeah. Fun times!

So that's the story of my car. And that's also why, as I write this, it's sitting in the driveway, staring out at the street, a very expensive lawn ornament. Yeah. I haven't decided what to do next. My dad found me sights on e-how with step by step directions for changing the battery. I might do that. I might ask my neighbor for some guidance. I might try and push it further back in the driveway when Ang gets home so we can park her car. I might get a bus card. And I might go work on my script so I can sell it and get a car that comes with a driver. That seems the most logical action I can take at the moment.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A day in Hollywood

When I moved to Los Angeles people told me they see "movie stars" everywhere. I didn't believe them. I didn't see them. Well, there was my friend Pauley but that's about it. I was starting to believe there must be a secret world of celebrity out there somewhere that I didn't know the directions to. And that's okay, I just go about my business and think about being in "the business" and life goes on.

But I still wanted to see some celebrities.

It's not that I want to stalk them or even approach them but I think it's fun to see them, to smile and nudge your friend and say, you know who that is??? It makes it seem like I live in Hollywood.

Today was finally one of those days. After listening to the biggest celebrity in the world give his inaurgural address this morning, I went to Homeless Lunch (where three of us wore our Obama '08 shirts and kept smiling, a lot). It was on the way there that I saw my first taste of Hollywood for the day, Ms. Audra McDonald. She wasn't doing anything exciting, just getting groceries out of a Prius but I smiled thinking to myself, I see her on TV every week (Private Practice).

Afterward volunteering I went to Mel's Diner with my friends Emily, Jim, Pauley and Michael. It was there that we saw Bruce Vilanch, the comedian and writer. Big red glasses and all! I was pretty excited even though it took all of a few minutes to come up with his name. I seem to remember him most from Hollywood Squares when I was younger, and his voice is very distinctive!

After lunch Jim and I went for coffee and that's where I saw my final celebrity of the day, Jai Rodriguez (of Rent and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame). Yeah, I am pretty geeked. And yeah, I know, I'm a dork!!! But I love it!!!