Last night I sat in front of my computer, my hands clasped in my lap, and tried not to throw up. I honestly hadn't felt that nervous in such a long time, if ever. I felt clammy and anxious and like the world was seeing everything inside of me: my guts, my heart, my brain.
It was terrifying.
So what was I doing last night?
Oh, just watching the first cut of my directorial debut, the short film LAUGHING AGAIN.
Remember the eight months of work I mentioned back in my last blog on this project? Yeah, we're up to 12 now. We've been working on this project for almost an entire year. And I say we because this isn't just me, it isn't just the actors, it isn't just Ayelette. It's so many people. And for the last few months it's been our director of photography turned editor, Tyson. He's been sculpting our hours and hours of footage into the 12 minutes and 3 seconds of what he sent me last night.
So what's next you might ask?
Well...now I get to work. I have to watch the cut a million more times and Tyson and I will make notes and changes and add stuff and take away stuff. We'll make sure the sound is perfect and the color is exact and that shot with the boom mic dipping into it gets replaced. We'll figure out the transitions and the music and the credit sequence and the title card. We'll make so many little decisions. Tyson and I will work together for a few more months. And then, God willing, we'll lock picture!
That's when we'll have a short film that's ready to go out into the world. That we can show to everyone we know, and everyone we don't. That we can submit to festivals (Ayelette and I have been working on festival submissions since August) and premiere to audiences.
In the meantime, I need to get back to work. I need to watch the cut again. Am I still nervous? Maybe even more so. You know that feeling you get when you ride a roller coaster for the second time? After you already know what's coming? And the anticipation is more intense than the experience itself? That's where I am -- on that rollercoaster.
But it's an amazing ride. I'm so proud of the work we've already done together, and excited for what's to come. I love this story, and even if it's scary to put my work out there for the world to see and hear, I'm ready to do it. Stories are meant to be told, and we're about to tell this one!
