I saw the scenes months before I wrote them.
The woman walking in circles.
And today those scenes, that woman walking in circles, are in a film. A film that is premiering online for all the world to watch.
Yes, it's true! My first film as writer and director premiered online today! Laughing Again is live! Laughing Again is out in the world!
Laughing Again with that woman walking in circles. And it's true, I am that woman. I walked in circles around my pool in the backyard for hours. For miles. I did it while wearing my nightgown and flip flops and nothing else. I did it while recovering from a surgery that had been talked about for years and then was over in an instant but then stayed with me for months.
The woman in my scenes does it while wearing funeral clothes, and then whatever else she's found that day. She does it as she recovers from a miscarriage. She does it as she finds her own way through grief. Her own way through pain. Her own way to post-traumatic growth. As so many of us do.
When I started on the seemingly impossible task of beginning a writing project, staring at a blank page, I saw those circles. I saw her despair. And I wanted others to know that if they're experiencing this growth, or even want to, they are not alone. And now they can. They can because there's a story that tells about the circles, the trauma, the growth. A story that tells four characters' very particular views and experiences but that can be taken in and thought about and realized through so many others' lives.
And that's what film is all about. Making stories come to life to share experiences with the world.
And making this story come to life was a journey!
Back in 2021 I was asked if I might be interested in writing a short film. I said I would be, if I could also direct it. And so the idea and those circles that would become Laughing Again was hatched. That was 1,431 days ago. (Here’s the blog I wrote about Making Something back in June 2022.)
And today Laughing Again is a ten-minute film that will live forever.
Since that December night back in 2021 I learned what it takes to not only write a movie, something I knew a bit about prior, but also make a movie, as we did in 2022. (Here’s the blog I wrote about that in August 2022.) And then...well then we had to edit the movie. (Here’s the blog I wrote about that in December 2022.) The editing process had only just begun when I saw that first cut of the film. What started as a 12 minute movie was tightened down into a 10 minute movie by the end. It may not seem like much but when the film is that short, every single second and every single frame counts. Tyson, our editor (and also our DP), and I went through four cuts before locking picture, when we knew we had the look of the film just how we wanted it. And then we started working on the sound. We had an original score that was written and performed just for our film by Steve. It was really cool to be able to say everything in our film came from our team. The establishing shots, the graphics, the music, everything!
So then what’s been going on since June 2023 you might ask? Why haven’t we seen this film until now? Well, that’s when we began our festival run, which just ended this month.
Since short films don’t run in traditional theater chains or movie houses or play on most streaming sites, the producers (me and Ayelette) tried to get as many people to see our work in other ways, mostly via film festivals. And so that’s what’s been going on.
We’ve been creating materials, submitting materials and the film, to festivals all over the world. So many film festivals. Festivals that gets thousands and tens of thousands of entries a year. And then we wait. Wait to find out if we’ve been accepted. Wait to find out if we’ve won. Wait to find out if more people will get to see our work.
Our run was two years long. During that time we participated in 13 film festivals all over the world which I think is pretty cool. Here’s our list:
- Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival 2023
- The Film Collective Short Film Festival 2023
- Paris Women CineFest 2024
- SaFFlicks 2024
- Lift-Off Global Network Los Angeles 2024
- FusionFilm International Film Festival 2024
- California Women’s Film Festival 2024
- FenceSitter Film Festival 2024
- SacFilm Challenge Music and Film Festival 2024
- Hollywood New Directors 2024
- Cinema Diverse Palm Springs LGBTQ+ Film Festival 2024
- Cinema Odyssey Film Awards 2024
- California Women Film Festival 2025 (yep, a different festival from number seven!)
For most of the festivals we were invited to be an Official Selection which means they screened our film and sometimes we get to attend (either in person or via Zoom, I got to do both several times!). But in a few instances we were honored:
- Winner - Best Short Film - California Women Film Festival 2025
- Best Score - Cinema Odyssey Film Awards 2024
- Best Editing - Paris Women CineFest 2024
- Festival Favorite - Cinema Diverse Palm Springs LGBTQ+ Film Festival 2024
- Finalist - FusionFilm International Film Festival 2024
- Honorable Mention - Hollywood New Directors 2024
And I say we because no part of making this film was done alone. I couldn’t have done my very first bit which was think of an idea if Ayelette and Alya hadn’t wanted to make something they could act in and invited me to work with them. I would have had nothing to direct if the four actresses hadn't shown up on set and gotten ready with the help of our hair and makeup woman. We wouldn’t have had set dressing or flowers or leaves in the pool in August if not for our art department and production assistants. And on and on and on! We had a total of 17 people who worked on this film in one way or another, from doing an ice run on a hot afternoon to Zooming in from the other side of the country to talk sound cues.
Recently I heard a big time screenwriter talk about how when he goes back and watches his work, or reads his words, he doesn't remember having done the work. He doesn't remember characters, he doesn't remember plots, he is completely amazed that the story came from him, and I get that. I recently re-read a script I loved that I wrote a decade ago and enjoyed learning what happened next every time I turned the page. But for now, right now, I cannot do anything but run Laughing Again through my brain.
Each character is a part of me. Each beat is my beat. Every contradiction and conflict is one I own and feel deeply. Because for the past few years, every day I have thought about this story.
And now the world finally gets to think about it too.
