She's mine

A lot of times parents make the mistake of trying to be a child's friend and not their parent. This doesn't work. I've seen it with my friends, my family members, my students, it simply doesn't work. Children needs rules, they need to be taught, they need to be shown the way. Children need parents. And I am so blessed because my mom has always been a parent first, and then a friend. What I love most of all is she is both.

My mom taught me a lot of what has made me successful. She taught me to be respectful, to keep my mouth closed at certain moments, to look in the mirror before leaving the house, how to stretch a dollar, and how to feed myself and others. She taught me that a lot of times life isn't fair but it can still be okay. She taught me to love God and love my neighbor, even if the smile I had to plaster on would be fake. She taught me to go out and try everything. She taught me to live my life, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I would not be who I am or where I am if it weren't for her. She has encouraged me every single step of the way. And she hasn't always been ecstatic about it, I know. She'd like to not have to borrow the neighbor's kids when she wants to spend time with her grandchildren, she'd like to see us more often, she'd like for us to be more financially stable -- and those are not unreasonable thoughts. I'd like them too. Regardless, she's been my cheerleader, 150%, the entire way. She's the one who sends me cards telling me to believe in everything. She's the one who writes 'the worst words you ever write are better than the best words you never write' on a scrap of paper so that I will keep going. She's the one who answers the phone at 1:30am when I call to tell her I had a great table read. (Note: she was on vacation and told me it was okay to call, I normally do not call at this time because she taught me that's not polite!)

Last month my mom got to retire. She's already traveled for weeks down south, visiting friends, walking through lighthouses, having lunch on the Daytona pier. And I'm so excited for her and this new chapter in her story. I'm so excited that after half her lifetime, slaving away in a not so great job that she always wore a smile to, she gets to do what she wants to do. She gets to go where she wants to go. She deserves it. And so much more.

I'm not at home today -- I wish I was. There's a family lunch at grandma's and then the stop at the other grandma's. There was church and I know she got a card from us. But we'll celebrate her when she gets to California in less than a month. We'll do Mother's Day 2009 up big time.

But most of all, I want her to know today that I am grateful, beyond words, that I had a mother. I had someone who taught me what I needed to know, who took care of me, who loved me so fiercely that she always did and always has put my needs first. She is amazing. And I'm lucky she's mine.