How Lena Dunham inspired me to wear a tank top to WeHo today

Yesterday is was freaking hot outside. Yes, I know in the east it's still winter with snowstorms and subzero temperatures to prove it, but here in Los Angeles we topped 88 degrees yesterday. Which is fantastic if you are at the beach or have air conditioning in your house. But not if you live somewhere with no insulation and no AC. So by the time the sun went down last night, we were sweating. Inside. Literally. Sweating in my cotton nightgown when I went to bed. It's cooler today but it's still summer here.

And so, when I got dressed this morning, I thought about wearing one of my favorite tank tops. It's green and blue stripes with grey piping on the edges. It's from Old Navy and cost $7 and it makes me happy. I had my hair in pigtail braids and I wanted to wear it and jean shorts. But I was afraid I'd look ridiculous. The stripes are horizontal and it's just a tank top. No sleeves. Shorts, no pants. Did I mention it's almost 80 again today? And I was going to sit on my friend's porch and sip tea and talk shop? But my friend lives in WeHo (West Hollywood - a very nice area of town) and what if I had to stop somewhere? What if I, god forbid, went to the hospital in my stripey tank top and jean shorts? I'd die. (Well, hopefully not really...)

And then I thought about last night's episode of GIRLS. Lena Dunham's character wears the most ridiculous clothes in the show. She dresses in tiny little shorts and half shirts and no bra and onesies and dresses that are small and cute and not really for her body type. And her character (and let's be real, Lena) does it all with this amazing zest. She does it with such afterthought of body and forethought of clothing. She wears what she likes. Not what she "should" wear because frankly, who made up the rules. This is what I imagine her saying right before she says, "and anyways, fuck the rules."

So I was thinking about GIRLS and how last night Hannah (Lena's character) was wearing all these clothes that I wouldn't ever dream of wearing and yet no one commented on them, no one seemed to care about them, and nothing bad happened. She was just fucking wearing the clothes. It wasn't a big deal at all. And I imagine Hannah wears those clothes because Hannah likes those clothes, they make her happy.

And so, long story longer, I wore the striped tank top and jean shorts. To West Hollywood. And I survived. And no one commented and nothing happened and life went on. And I was happy. I was happy because I was in comfy cute clothes and I was letting my skin out to feel the sun and I was able to kick off my flip flops and curl my legs under me.

I want to be more like Hannah, more like Lena. I want to wear whatever I want because I like it. I want to be more accepting of what my body looks like and not feel like I have to hide it. Yesterday I dressed up for church and had a cute little skirt on I am not always sure about. But I got compliments on it and it further reminded me to just do it. Just be who I am. Don't shrink. Don't try to be less than I am. I have to let myself shine. Let myself run. Let myself show. I have to. Because my body is often my voice. It is my presence and my place in this world. And it likes to wear striped tank tops. So thank you, Lena. Thank you, Hannah.