I love it when...

something makes me laugh. Not chuckle like, "oh that's cute," but really laugh. When something surprises me and I just can't contain myself. It's happened several times lately and Ang and I were talking about it today. She noted that she loves when she can make me laugh like that and I agreed! Here are two times recently when this happened (maybe you'll laugh yourself, you never know!).

1. On Saturday we were running errands after we'd both come from massages. Now these aren't your ordinary, incense-filled, enjoyment producing massages. These are kick your butt, physical therapy-type massages. So we were both tired and a little out of it. We went to sell back some some stuff at the book store ($5 for a Will and Grace first season DVD I got years ago that I never watched, not bad when I saw it at target for $20) and as we were walking out I walked behind Angela. She had a green t-shirt on and that's when I noticed she had her shirt on backward. I might not have noticed except it was a V neck:-) So right there on the sidewalk in front of Hastings I cracked up. I could not stop laughing, not sure why this was so funny but it just was. And I could not tell her why I was laughing because I was laughing so stinking hard!

2. This morning Ang and I were in the restroom at school. I was still very sleepy as we got to school at 6:25 to get in line for flu shots (no, we weren't the first ones there and yes, there was a line by the time we got ours). I realized as I was sitting there that I had black underwear on and I have on a cream and black skirt. I explained this to Ang in the next stall. She said she had black underwear on as well or else she'd switch with me. I said that was weird, and she said, "why, that's what friends are for!" And then she said, "well that's not the only thing..." and I cracked up.

Here's hoping your Halloween is full of laughter:-) I'm going to try to post more today, we'll see!

I made it through another Monday

I want to blog about vacation but again it's 9:30 and I haven't showered yet and I have to go to bed and...yes, I'll blog soon. But today is over and that's a start. It was a busy day. I had two formal observations - one by my principal and one by a person from our district office. The good news is that I aced them both. I got an 8 out of 8 on my evaluation this morning from my principal and the woman from the DO had only nitpicky things to say which I think is a good sign. All that and I got all ready for the rest of the week after school today.

Another cool thing happened today. We started reading Al Capone Does My Shirts, a novel about a kid who's family lives on Alcatraz in 1935 and my kids loved it! I got them all hyped for it last week by telling them about my trip and then today I took in all the books and fun stuff I bought for them. First thing in class they each got a big flashcard with a convict on it, his rap sheet and all, and they had to journal about what they'd ask him if they could interview him. They loved this, they wouldn't stop talking about it all day. I thought that was pretty cool. So I guess all the money and work getting ready for today was worth it. Also, we did a writing lesson on sequence and they got it. They totally got it. That never happens. So all in all a pretty darn good day in 7th grade.

I am off to sleep. I am still feeling tired from vacation but we're finally catching up. We've been cleaning and I've been writing and OH YEAH! Today I sent in my application for admission to film school at UCLA! (And my money of course.) It's official. Now I need to get my applications out to the other 3 schools in the next couple of weeks.

Appeasement

I've started getting the inquiring comments about when a new blog is coming (okay, okay, one email but it made me feel guilty!) so here it is, albeit a very short one.

I am home from my 14 day, 2300+ mile vacation. I survived, had a great time, turned 30 and am back at work. I am also tired, still unpacking, mentally a little weird, tired, and oh, did I mention tired? I have tons of vacation blogs planned in my mind, really I do, and photos but they'll have to wait a day or two more. But here's a little update to keep you posted:

I had an awesome 30th birthday on Thursday. Thank you all who called, emailed, left me messages, sent packages and flowers, and spent the day with me. I am still celebrating, I think I will celebrate until the end of October so feel free to keep the birthday fun coming! More on my celebrations in a later blog...

Today we got our held mail and it was piles and piles, mostly junk. But hidden inside were two very interesting envelopes. The first was my official GRE results. I got a 5.5 out of 6 on the analytical writing section which puts me in the top 12% of test takers so that ROCKS! And then the second envelope: a grand jury summons. I've been called to participate on a grand jury in Phoenix (yes, that Phoenix, 3 hours from my house) 7 days a month for 6 months! I know - the insanity! I replied tonight on their form that this would cause an extreme hardship so here's hopin' and prayin' that the jury gods feel pity for me. Please, please, please.

So that's all for tonight folks. I need to write some postcards (so what if I'm already home, they're still fun!) and then go to bed. I really want to watch TV (so much good stuff to catch up on plus I got the whole series of Arrested Development for my birthday AND we just got the latest DVDs of Entourage from Netflix - ooh, shout out to the Office and their HILARIOUS nod to Netflix recently plus the great ep where Pam and Jim spend the night at Dwight's farm/not B&B. It's genius folks, download it now!) but I think I must sleep first. More to come soon, I promise!!!!

Until I return...

The past week has been a whirlwind. We ended our first quarter at school and have had two days of parent teacher conferences, with day three ending tomorrow at 2:30pm. These wear me out. I'm anxious sitting there, waiting to talk to parents, wondering if they'll argue or agree or just nod silently. And the noise, 40-some teachers in a room, talking to parents and kids, it's quite a buzz so I can't focus at all. I managed only a bit of paperwork and certainly no grading. But I have seen over 50 parents which is good considering I only have 90 kids.

And then there's getting ready to go on vacation. We leave tomorrow at 2:31pm for Vegas. My parents are flying in tomorrow afternoon and we'll all meet up and spend the night at the Golden Nugget downtown Vegas. Then Saturday we'll drive to the Grand Canyon and spend a few days there. On Monday we'll head back to the big city and spend the week at Bally's. We'll hit a few shows, so far Blue Man Group and Cirque de Soliel's O. On Saturday my parents fly home and Susie flies in to Vegas. We head up 8 hours to San Francisco and stay at the Fisherman's Wharf hostel until Wednesday when we'll travel back and spend two nights in Vegas at the Bellagio where we'll celebrate my big 3-0 birthday in style!

And yes, I'm ready for a vacation. In a week that's seen me take the GRE, prepare report cards and handle conferences while still having school every day, not to mention dealing with crisis after crisis at work and home (work - calling a mother to tell her that her son is telling kids he plans to commit suicide, not a highlight of my week & home - dealing with crappy insurance and mail-order prescription companies with Angela and the oh-so-slow USPS, ugh!), I am ready to leave it all behind and escape. So escape we will. I'll blog when I return...

I did not fall asleep!!!

Yes, it's true. I made it through the GRE (Graduate Record Exam), which is an entrance exam for graduate schools, without falling asleep! As some of you know, on Monday while taking a practice exam after work I fell asleep in the middle of writing an essay (a very interesting essay mind you!). That did not happen this time. This time Ang and I made it to San Diego State University with a few minutes to spare, realized we had the complete wrong directions (thanks ETS website, you stink!), and then found out it was family weekend to boot! However, Ang was so great and she got me to the test building and then parked all by herself and entertained herself for the three hours I was testing.

My unofficial scores are 450 for the verbal section and 480 for the quantitative (math) section. Not super high scores but not low scores either. I was in the 54th percentile for the verbal section which means I scored better than 54 percent of people who take the test. And I was in the 20th percentile for the quantitative section which means I scored better than 20 percent of people who take the test. So all in all, not fantastic scores but not bad scores certainly. Also, can I just say, I still do not understand how I scored better on the math section than on the verbal section. I haven't got a clue.

So I am going to work on my grad school applications this week. A lot of the paperwork is done, it's just organizing and proofreading now. But I thought I'd include one of the pieces I wrote for USC's application, an autobiographical character sketch in the form of a short story. So here it is, my raison d'etre:

Her Life

She’s almost ten years old, and Sarah can count the number of movies she’s seen on her little fingers. It’s 1987 and while many movies have come and gone in her short lifetime, she’s grown up in a small town in the middle of Michigan with a one-screen movie theater and it’ll be five or six years before a VCR shows up under the Christmas tree.

A trip downtown to the show is a big event, and this time it’s undertaken by her father and the father of some friends. The men corral the children into the darkened theater and they await their film: Harry and the Hendersons. Two hours later when the lights come up, Sarah’s in tears. And of course, the boy next to her pokes her and makes a joke about being a big baby. She’ll never forget this moment but not because of the ridicule.

There in that theater, she became a member of the Henderson family. She felt their fear, their excitement, and ultimately, their sadness. Sarah connected with Harry, the furry giant who endeared himself to a human family. And right there, at the end of that aisle with the sticky floor and worn-out seats, she wondered if she could create a story that made people feel something.

For the next ten years Sarah wrote. She filled up spiral notebooks and composition books. She crafted long, involved stories of women who had to support their children on their own, of families who lost loved ones, of people facing illness and loneliness. She wrote settings that went on for pages and chapters of dialogue. She even tried writing a screenplay about a girl who sneaks into the wonderful world of Hollywood and is accepted as one of their own.

And then, right one schedule, real life intervened. Real life whispered in Sarah’s ear that she needed to put away her stories and notebooks and concentrate on getting a real job, one that would make her family happy and would provide her the means to support herself. So she plowed through college, taking an occasional creative writing course, and walked away with a journalism and communication degree; the ticket to acceptance and normalcy for writers. And by the end of that summer she had a job, as a secretary.

It didn’t take Sarah long to realize this was not what she wanted out of life. Sure she got to write and research stories while her boss was out of the office but it wasn’t enough. So she did what any smart girl just out of college does and applied to graduate school. She was accepted at the one university she applied to, into the one program she’d researched and before she knew it she was studying organizational communication, a topic she’d barely touched upon in her undergraduate work. But she was back in school, it was familiar, and she was doing something productive. She was learning and exploring and she loved it. Her family loved it and she met people that would stay with her for her entire life.

Meanwhile, Sarah still had that pesky problem of supporting herself. So she accepted the university’s offer of a teaching assistantship. Although terrified, she quickly realized this was something she could do, and do well. She’d go on to teach for the next eight years and not regret a single moment of it. She’d made a good choice. However, it still wasn’t enough.

Upon completion of her Master’s program, Sarah bought herself several screenwriting books. She immersed herself in others’ scripts (being couch-bound for several weeks due to a broken ankle was the perfect excuse to do nothing else) and started writing and rewriting her own. By the end of that summer she had a finished screenplay but no job. For the real world, this was not enough.

So Sarah went back to teaching and even landed a part-time job writing for the local newspaper. She learned about deadlines, editors, copyeditors, working with others, and good writing. She learned more than she ever did back in college. For the next four years Sarah taught, wrote, edited, consulted, and did more than she’d ever imagined, professionally. And all the while she kept writing, entering countless competitions, sending query letters, even contacting a script consultant in Los Angeles who read her work, for a fee, and suggested she change everything about it. Along the way, Sarah had made a life for herself in that city. She had a strong community of friends, she was part of a large network of professionals who kept her in mind when jobs came up and were eager to work with her and yet, it still was not enough for her. She wanted more.

It was spring and Sarah was walking the Celery Flats, a gorgeous set of trails in the middle of her busy city, when she finally knew what to do. She knew she had to jump, not just move, outside of her comfort zone. She realized she’d done all she could in the world she’d created for herself. So she took a job offer in Yuma, Arizona, 2100 miles away. She sold most of her belongings, packed the rest in her car and took off for the desert.

For the next two years Sarah would live a life unlike anything she’d ever imagined. She’d teach reading and writing to seventh graders in a town bordering Mexico. She’d deal with parents yelling at her in Spanish, gang violence, fights over teddy bears, black widow spiders and nouns all in the course of a job that paid her just enough to share an apartment with another teacher. She’d fall in love with all of her students and make friends that would change her perspective on life. She’d visit new places and care about test scores and spend endless nights grading poorly written essays. And she’d write in the ten minutes before she’d fall asleep, knowing all along, that it was good and it was where she needed to be at that moment in time, but it was still not enough.

Then Sarah received a gift from her little sister, the sister who had gone to school to be a teacher and who would always teach middle school because that was more than enough for her. It was a little yellow bubble magnet, no bigger than a nickel, and it said “my life is up to me.” Every day as she sat down at her computer, she saw that magnet and she thought about it. And finally she made the decision that she’d wanted to make for so long. She’d try to do it; she’d learn how to be not just a good writer but an excellent writer, an award-winning, script selling, better than the rest writer. And so she started applying to graduate schools.

No one, not even Sarah, could have imagined that a showing of Harry and the Hendersons, twenty years ago, would inspire her to attend film school. No one in her family remembers seeing the film and others are still skeptical that she’ll make it in the business they all read about in the entertainment section of the newspaper. But she’s determined and because her life is up to her and only her, she’ll do it.

Touching base

I don't have anything great to blog about. It was a pretty okay, regular Monday. My kids did great today, they took notes on characterization and then they read their novel with partners and reading buddies. They love their reading buddies, boys and girls. I have this gaggle of stuffed animals in my room - lots of beenie babies, etc. and they get to use them to read with when we read our novel. It's pretty cute to see my kids all lying on the floor, hanging out in their desks, clutching a teddy bear or a stuffed kidney (some were donations from a pharmaceutical company).

Report card grades are due on Thursday, it hardly seems possible that the quarter's over next Friday! Time is flying here in Yuma, what about in your part of the world?

Ang is having a big Mary Kay sale at school tomorrow and for the next week, so keep your fingers crossed that she sells enough to hit some posh places in Vegas. She's got some new meds for her headache and good news, along with learning to give her shots, I now get to learn how to check her blood pressure! I can't wait. I will be ready to hang with the peeps on Grey's Anatomy soon enough.

The fall television season is upon us once again and we kicked it off by watching Shark last night which was not as impressive as last season but I think they're just trying a little too hard. We'll see if they improve. I'm excited for NCIS, The Unit, and House tomorrow night, and of course Thursday night which brings us so much joy: The Office, Grey's Anatomy, CSI and the return of Michael Vartan, I cannot wait even though his show Hot Shots is not getting good reviews. (I have faith in Vaughn!)

Also, I am taking the GRE this weekend and I'm a tad bit nervous. I took another practice test this afternoon and was apparently a wee bit tired from school. I fell asleep while writing the essay and woke up with the computer timer going off telling me my time was up. Fan-freakin'-tastic! Ah well. The good news is my math (quantitative) score was significantly higher this week. The bad news is my verbal score was lower. We'll see how it goes with the real test.

Ok, off to help Ang pack up her Mary Kay for the big school sale and then go read some Tangerine so I can catch up to where my kids left off today. Do your part now: Touch base and let me know you're out there!

The Kingdom

Saturday night Angela and I went to a sneak preview of the movie The Kingdom about an FBI team (Jennifer Garner, Jason Batement, Chris Cooper, & Jamie Foxx) who go to Saudi Arabia to investigate an attack on the American compound in that country. Others in the movie include Jeremy Piven, Peter Berg (who also directed), Tim McGraw, and some fantastic new faces including Hrach Titizian who played a Saudi military colonel assigned to babysit the FBI team).



When I first saw previews for this movie, I was excited. I love Jennifer Garner, I love her in Alias and think she's at her best when she's kicking some major butt! And the rest of the cast looked awesome (including West Wing alum Anna Deavere Smith) and I love Peter Berg who's in the movie and directed it. So I was very excited to find out Yuma was getting one preview showing 2 weeks before it was released.

And surprisingly, the movie lived up to my expectations and surpassed them. This was one of those movies that just felt right from the first strains of music to the thoughtful, not neat and tidy, ending. I loved the way the story was completely serious yet added humor when appropriate (Jason Bateman is great, so great and Jeremy Piven played an older, more mature Ari if Ari worked for the U.S. consulate in Saudi Arabia).

Definitely worth your time and money next week when the movie opens, really. It's well written, emotional, violent and terrifyingly real. While it doesn't take us to Iraq and the war, it does take us to the Arabic world, the world we as a nation are so flummoxed by right now. We have this love-hate relationship that we must negotiate and balance in order to serve our own interests and that of humankind and this film does an excellent job of telling that story.

One more thing, about five minutes into the film, when things start to go wrong, I got goosebumps. It wasn't cold in the theater. I was just so affected by the way this story was being told. I was affected and that's exactly what I hope people feel from my writing. Someday...

Thursday Tidbits

It's been a crazy busy week but in a good way. I've gotten a lot done beginning Monday when I was home sick. I did a lot of writing and got all my new samples done for submission. Ang said she was amazed that I'd written one of the scenes in one day. I just hope someone at one of the four schools I'm applying to is equally amazed.

I'm feeling better, apparently Airborne (or Walborne, the kind I bought at Walgreens) works wonders just like everyone says because I've been feeling much better. And it happened very quickly. So stock up for cold and flu season!

School has been hectic. I am teaching my kids to write a short story and while it's fun, it's also very unorganized. We did brainstorming today and there was a lot of talking, sharing, and confusion but they have some awesome ideas and I can't wait to read their stories. I've also been busy with parent meetings dealing with kids' issues. Today's meeting was frustrating because Mom spoke almost no English and I had a very hard time focusing on her and the translators and trying to get my message across. And basically we spent an hour explaining to her what she knew and ended with her still not knowing how to help her kid. We'll see what happens.

But some cool things are going on in school. There was the first 'pizza with the principals' party today where kids nominated for improved behavior got to go have "pizza, salad and cheesecake!" with the principals and hang out for an hour and come back with a certificate. One of my boys was very excited to have gone, it was very cool for me to see that success. Also, I am finally feeling on top of the paperwork and only have one thing left to grade right now which is excellent! No work this weekend is my mantra.

I went to spin again Tuesday and tonight and I am sore. But good sore because I never think I'll make it through class and then I do and I am excited by that. I still haven't lost ANY weight despite sticking to my points (I'm seeing a nurse practitioner in a few weeks and I'll be asking about this) but my arms feel stronger so that's something. Must be those 60 push ups Julie made us do on the bike today!

My kids started their fundraiser this week and I am psyched because you can get magazine subscriptions through it so I totally am buying something this year:-)

I am still struggling to study for the GRE. The math part is kicking my butt. I am doing really well on the verbal practice but I guess we'll see in a couple of weeks. I am hoping the rest of my application packages speak for me instead of this test score!

Four weeks from tomorrow at 1pm Ang and I head north to Las Vegas where we will be meeting my parents! I am so excited. We have a week of the Grand Canyon and Vegas then a week with Susie that includes San Francisco (I already booked our Alcatraz tickets!) and the Bellagio in Vegas. Rock on!

My dear friend and cousin Jamee turns thirty this week, mere weeks before I do and I have been thinking a lot about that. It doesn't seem like a big deal though I know it's kind of a big deal. We'll be in Vegas and I want to do something fun but I also know that this is just the start of another exciting chapter in my life. I only hope the next thirty years so as well!!!

I am off to watch another episode of Monk. Ang and I are in the middle of season 3 and are loving this show! Go rent it if you haven't seen it or download it from itunes, seriously funny stuff here! No wonder it's won some serious award bling. And I am having fun comparing Ang to Monk, the main character. I now refer to her in private and public as Little Monk! She loves it!

September 11 through new eyes

It had run across my brain several times in the last week that we were approaching 9/11. I several calendars to remind me and I noted that it was on a Tuesday, just like back in 2001. I hadn't put much thought into it until today. I gave my students the writing prompt of journaling about "Patriot Day" as it's now been named, and what this day means to our country, and what significance it has to them. During my first two classes of the day they wrote, asked questions, made comments about planes and buildings, etc. but we moved on quickly. I had one boy who told me they'd visited Ground Zero a few years ago.

But then came announcements after lunch when there was a video tribute complete with sorrowful sounding songs. I braced myself for the barrage of comments I'd be sure to hear. The problem with this age group is they were only five to six years old when this happened so while they don't know a pre-9/11 world, they don't remember 9/11 either. So we watched.

There was old footage of the towers being hit and people running and screaming. There were short interviews and shots of wreckage. I was immediately taken back to that morning. To sitting on the old brown couch in our apartment in Kalamazoo, trying to comprehend what was happening. I remembered getting the email from my cousin in Canada who wanted to make sure we were okay and said she couldn't get through on the phone lines. I remember being scared and having no idea what to do but sit and watch the television.

I had goosebumps and I felt tears but I held them back. I had girls in my room who were crying visibly and I don't know whether that was for real or for show. Either way, it affected me. I knew I needed to set a good example and sit there and watch, pay attention to the video but I didn't want to watch it. I'd watched it all the first time, and the second, and every year for the past six. I've seen those planes hit those buildings enough - they're ingrained in my memory, I don't need to see them again.

My kids were quiet during the whole ten minute presentation. I was impressed. On a good day we make it though the first news segment before their mouths' are off and running. But even if they don't really know why, they understand that today is a special day, it's a day to remember.

Intense

That's how things feel to me right now: intense. I am balancing work and exercise and grad school applications and the nagging need to write, write, write. And it's a lot for me. I am prone to these mini breakdowns every night (usually it's just me saying I can't do this and Ang saying yes you can and then we continue on with whatever we were doing but for me, it's stressful).

Work is good, today was midterms - already 5 weeks into the quarter! I only gave out 2 Fs so that's an accomplishment for the kids. And I am feeling caught up finally. The paperwork has calmed down and I've had a few hours this week to actually do my own work at school while the kids are working or while other people are in meetings and I have "free time" that's on the clock (almost never happens which is why I was giddy when my department meeting got cancelled today - a whole "free" hour!).

Exercise is going good so far although right now, my butt is killing me! I've been going to spin classes (indoor cycling) and they rock - burning 600 or more calories in 45 minutes is awesome. And it doesn't hurt my knees and I can feel my heart going. But that little seat, oy vey! I joined the local Y and really like it there. I don't feel self-conscious like I did at the gym. There are real people there and the lady at the front desk already knows my name which I like. Also, our friends Julie and Christina go there too so it helps to have that positive peer pressure (like when Julie called to tell me she wasn't going to yoga tonight but to weight class this afternoon and would I like to go? friends are so great!).

Grad school applications are kicking my butt. So far I'm applying to USC, UCLA, Cal State Northridge, and UT Austin (if Texas will let me freakin' into their computer program!!! Ugh!!!). I know the drill: transcripts which are costly (don't ask me why UCLA needs 2 official transcripts from each college), letters of recommendation mean I need to bug all of my awesome friends and colleagues and professors again, and then there's the endless online application process. And the statements of purpose and the essays and the portfolios and the scenes to be written and the emotionally intense moments to relay.

Ang is awesome, she's helping me make checklists and read through the fine print but it's a lot and I know it'll be worth it, I keep telling myself that but it's so much right now. So much.

So I am going to bed. I'm going to sleep and pray that this is the path God has chosen for me or at least the path He'll help me down and that the universe really is conspiring with me. I have an attitude of expectancy and I know it'll be worth it. It will. It has to be...

Well, that was a day

We got up early this morning and when I say we, I really mean Ang who was up and at um at 5:20 am. I know, that's ridiculously early. But we start teaching, with real live kids, at 7:12 am and it's hard to get ready to do that with only 10 minutes prep so we went to school about 6 am. And then Ang decided she really wasn't feeling well so we took a little field trip to the ER via Urgent Care.

Yep, another round of a little game I like to call sit and wait and pray they figure things out quickly. But today went well and I was so proud of Ang for trusting her gut (and her head) and knowing she wasn't overreacting and needed to go to the doctor. She called both her primary care doc and her neurologist, neither of whom would see her (booked, whatever! boy do I miss Dr. Earl and the good old days where you'd call and they'd say, "Come in now," even if it was 5 pm).

She'd been feeling dizzy and had blurred vision and knew she needed to rule out some serious neurological issues and they finally did. There was a CAT scan involved and IV drugs and antibiotics and after all was said and done, turns out the sinus infection she had early in the month never went away and got way worse and her sinuses are almost completely blocked. Thus, the horrible pain when exercising or doing lots of other things.

So she's getting fixed up with the right meds and it only took 6 hours which isn't bad for the ER in my experience. And Yuma Regional Medical Center gets props in my book for customer service as well. I didn't have any cash on me - like I was literally counting dimes to pull some together. And I went to the coffee shop near the ER and of course, it was closed. So I finally got some pretzels (love debiting one whole dollar!) from the gift shop and a can of diet pepsi from the machine but I was still hungry yet not wanting to stray too far from Ang. And then these women arrived pushing a cart of sandwiches and juice. FREE FOOD! It was so great. By then it was 6:30 or so and lunch was long gone (on Wednesdays, early release at school, our lunch is at 10:45 which is ridiculously early). And the food wasn't just for patients, it was for families. At first I was hesitant, I mean it was a sandwich like you get out of the vending machines but then I said screw it, poured on the mustard and ate and it was GOOD. So that was a blessing. We went to Walgreen's after (Ang will blog on that I am sure, they forgot to include a prescription in her bag and we have to go back tomorrow - ugh!) and got home after 9 pm. Another long day. But a happy ending. Ang is not in mortal danger, I didn't have to run home for a scarf to cover her head (she kept asking me to promise to get her a scarf if they had to shave her head, yes yes, we've been watching too much House), and she's sleeping off the morphine soundly now. All's well that ends well....G'night!

I love water!

It's true, I do. I love an ice cold drink of it when I am super thirsty. I love being in a swimming pool (although it's summer here in Yuma which means we can't go in our pool, we have to wait for it to cool down in the fall). And I love to bathe in it. I'm serious people.

I go back and forth on baths. I like relaxing in them and lately I have been shaving while in the bathtub (my arthritis is making it uncomfortable to stand on the side of the shower stall - and yes, worried family and friends, I am going to call a doctor this week, I promise!). But it's weird, whenever I am super tired, the kind of tired I get that comes along with tension in my head, not really a headache but again, an uncomfortable feeling, the only thing that helps is a long, HOT, shower. The kind that steams up the bathroom, leaves my neck and upper body red from the heat of the scalding water. I love standing under the stream, washing my hair and just generally, feeling very clean.

I am guessing I am not alone in this liking of H2O. But it's just what I am thinking about right now. I just got out of the bath and I need to dry my hair so I can go study integers and multiplying fractions. Yes, middle school math, apparently all that is required to do well on the quantitative part of the GRE. Wish my luck, math was never my strong suit!

Then it'll be a little ice cream and another episode of the new season of House which came out on DVD today (God bless Netflix shipping new releases before their release date!). It was a long day and I am once again, as always, pooped. I tested today, and got some down time to grade papers because I had a sub in my room but I paid a price for that down time. After school I spent two hours calling parents about kids' names who were left by my sub. So no kids, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Never. Don't eat it, it may be poisoned!

For them and for no other reason

Today was a very long day to top off a very long week. Yesterday was capped off with Back-To-School night, basically an open house where families follow their kids' schedules for an abbreviated 10 minutes per class period. By the time we got home it had been almost 14 hours since I'd seen my house. And after what happened then, it could have been 14 more.

Since residing in the desert for over a year now I've seen my share of cockroaches. They're ugly, fast, and freak me out less and less. I'd yet to kill one but I'd seen the scurry away in the copy room at school when I turned on the lights. I knew they crawled up drains and came searching water and food. Then this week I had the well-know black widow spider incident (sidebar: Yuma Pest Control was in my classroom at 4pm today, telling me all about the nasty looking spiders and spraying for them, let's all say a prayer it works!). And then last night I had the cockroach incident.

We got home and ate a snack before falling asleep in front of the tv. At 10:15 I woke up with a start and knew I needed to take out my contacts and brush my teeth and go to bed. So we head to the bathroom and I sit down on the toliet and Ang starts to freak out a little. I am still so asleep I can't understand why and then I see it - a giant cockroach. I am not exaggerating. It's got to be six inches long. So I freak. And we go get running shoes on under our nightgowns and I grab my steel-toe shoe to kill it with and Ang, to her credit, chases after it. But it's fast. And then it STARTS TO FLY. Yes, it flies. I did not know cockroaches could fly. Today I find out that we have the super duper kind of roaches called Sewer Cockroaches that are huge and fly and come up through the drains in search of food. Fantastic. Really, this is great news.

Eventually we get it into the hall and I stand on it. I am afraid that it won't die because I've heard it's hard to kill them so I instruct Ang to get a container to capture it with. But I press down with the many pounds I have, all of them into that foot and praise God literally, he crunches and dies. (I had to step over that spot on the carpet this morning, seriously.) Needless to say, no one slept well in our house last night.

Thus, morning comes way to early and we get to school and it's a rough start. I have a nasty row (I like to pretend to sound British, it's so cool!) with a co-worker who chews me out in the hall and then have both the principal and the vice-prinicpal visit me within an hour to make sure I am okay and to let me know everything will be fine (my chewing out was not called for and an apology, such as it was, was made). But through it all, the exteremely long day, the crazy schedule of taking my kids outside to another room to be tested today, teaching them how to monitor their own progress (something now required of us and the kids in all subjects), and all the crazy adult stuff going on, it was the kids who got me through.

They were all smiles and good mornings and hellos and calling on me to popcorn read when they could have picked any other child in the room. They were telling me about books their reading and begging to take the spelling test today when they came in late. They were troopers who were quiet in the halls and the testing room. They were respectful when applauding their peers for being helpers of the week. They volunteered in droves to help serve lunch in the cafeteria next week as part of our new drive to encourage community service.

On child in particular touched my heart today. He's a quiet child who's always got a book and is very attentive to his work. Today he returned the second Harry Potter book and when I asked him if he enjoyed it he replied, "Oh yeah, I've read it a ton of times before. But my copy's all messed up and I just wanted to read a brand-new copy." I loved that! LOVED IT! That I have a brand-new book for him to read and that he's reading his so much it's all messed up.

So today was all about them. One class in particular rocked today because I knew they were tired and they could tell I was and I made the decision to read our class novel Tangerine first instead of last to give us all a little reprieve. Well we were all so into it, as I haven't read the book before and their class is furthest ahead, that we just kept reading the whole period. And I didn't see or hear a single kid not into the book. It was great.

So I'm going to sleep now, hopefully for a very long time. Ms. Knapp is exhausted. But happy too.

All I can think of is those spiders from Harry Potter...

So today was a fine day, we had art day in class. My kids wrote poems about their first week of school and then got to illustrate them with colored pencils, crayons, and clippings from magazines. There was talking, laughter, learning, and some music. A good day. I didn't have any meetings, even better. Then after school Ang and I worked in her room a while then moved down to mine to work. That's when things went bad.

We are rearranging a bit, we have 2 consumables for each child this year (a writing handbook and a reading handbook), a journal, and a portfolio - all things that need to be kept in the room. So I decided to make little areas for each of my 3 classes. I decided to put 1st hour in the farthest corner of the room by the window. Ang moved the 3 empty milk crates that had been sitting there waiting to be filled. As she did she says, "Hey, look at this cool spider web" then proceeds to scream, drop the milk crate, jump up ON TOP of one of my desks and walk across the desks to the back of the room. She's yelling for her shoes that she'd just taken off (by now we've been working over 10 hours) and I am looking at her bewildered. This behavior seems just puerile (rock on! that's one of the 36 new words I've learned in the last 3 days from my GRE prep program I've put myself on - by the way, it means childish).

But she's still screaming and I take her the shoes and then look in the crate. And there it is, an ugly black spider, which I know she hates, but I freak out too because it's also orange. So I back away and follow Ang from the room. She runs down the hall to Leslie's room to hide and I am sent to find the "boys" (aka janitors). They are no where to be found. So I go to my boss's office and ask her to call them to my room on the radio. She smiles and does saying, "Spider rescue to room 109". Here's the funny part. Two of the boys heard her correctly and opted not to come, I knew they wouldn't unless forced too. They hate spiders as much as we do. But a minute later I hear keys jingling down the hall and I see Bill running with a fire extinguisher. I say, "What are you going to stomp on it with that?" and he says, "No, I heard they needed fire and rescue in room 109!" Gotta love miscommunication.

So he goes in the room and I follow him and I look in the crate and the spiders gone and I'm like, fantastic! great! super! But wait, no there it is, in another corner of the crate. And Bill looks in and puts his arm toward me and says, "Move back." So I do, to the doorway across the room. He says it's a baby Black Widow Spider. And I freak out. Silently of course, but I still freak out. And leave the room. He goes to get the ant spray the school supplies them with (why in the world we don't have raid I don't know, no one can explain it to me) and goes in to kill it.

So apparently these spiders are becoming a noisome (another GRE word - meaning nasty) nusiance in our school. They caught 7 of them in our conference room last week and one wouldn't die. It looked like it was rearing on it's hind legs and coming toward the ant spray, according to Bill. This did not make me feel ANY better. And the boys were surprised the spiders had gotten to this side of the building, far away from the fields.

So yeah, I've seen my first, and God-willing (I am seriously praying for this) my last, black widow. Rumor has it they fight each other and don't travel in packs, which is good news for my classroom but I figure if it's a baby, there's got to be a mama somewhere. So I will be on the lookout from here on out. Also, I am never going barefoot in school again (something I did a lot in my carpeted room), I'm going to start wearing my steel-toed Doc Marten shoes, I'm going to buy myself a can of Raid for my closet, and I have to check everything I touch now. Or just not touch things where they might hide.

So yeah, that's Yuma for ya. Not only do we have six inch cockroaches, we've got black widows. And it's even too freaking hot to go swimming. What could be better?!?!?!

Puking Pastilles

You know in Harry Potter how the Weasley Twins manufacture and sell puking pastilles that get students out of class by bringing on sudden vomiting? I think one of my students got his hands on some this afternoon.

My class was working quietly, taking the reading pretest and all of a sudden one of my kids is at the trash can throwing up. It was fantastic. I wasn't quite sure what to do at first because he just kept throwing up. So I sent him to the nurse but of course because he's only been at our school four days, he didn't know where the nurse was so I had to explain that. And then I called the nurse to let her know he was coming down and I didn't know his name, I had to look him up on the seating chart. It was great. Then I called down to the office to get a janitor and the secretary was like, let me make sure I've got it right, "Wet cleanup on aisle 109?" Yeah, it was great.

So that was my excitement today. Other than that things went well. My kids have their first spelling test tomorrow and I have a lot of papers to grade and lesson plans to make this weekend so Saturday I'll be back at school but I know it'll get better soon. Also, on a really exciting note: I've had eight kids check out books from me this week. I don't think I had eight kids borrow books from me all last year. I sent home with them three Harry Potters, Charlotte's Web, Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and many others. I'm excited - they like to read! Woo Hoo!

Also, I took a three hour nap today when I got home and now I'm going to head to bed. It's been a busy week!

The amazing flying temporary crown

Yes, yes, that's right. Today I went in for my root canal and in the process, my temporary crown went flying into ANOTHER room! The dentist looked surprised and had an assistant go get it. I don't even know if they washed it off. Whatever. It was not a fun way to spend an afternoon. In fact, I had to have double doses of Novocaine while in the chair. Nothin' like feeling the drilling, as if the sound of it isn't bad enough.

But there was an upside to my visit this afternoon. I got to the dentist office and found out the receptionist, who's super sweet and always gets me in and lets me pay later after she calls to check on my insurance and stuff, had forgotten to schedule me in. So after some worry and work on her part, the office decided to stay late and do my root canal at five which I was happy for. A) because I needed it done, it hurts and B)I am getting my permanent crown on Monday. I had to wait an hour and decided there wasn't enough time to go home so I sat down to read some magazines and it was really great. I was reading my daily devotional calendar this morning (from my lovely friend Leslie!) and it was about waiting and using the time God creates for us to wait in to the best possible use. I decided that God wanted me to wait today, most likely so I could just breathe and relax after another long day at school. And that I did. I read some People magazines and then kept falling asleep in the chair while having the root canal. (Note: This is not a good idea. The doctor kept asking, very nicely to please open my mouth wider because the more I felt sleepy, the more it closed....).

So all in all, an okay day. A solid C for average. The downside is Ang has a bad sinus infection but she went to UrgentCare and got some drugs so hopefully that will help. And tomorrow's Wednesday which is our first short day with the kids who go home at one and then we have meetings until three-thirty. Yippee!

Brave

Today I had my kids create a person crest to introduce themselves to one another. And of course, being the good teacher I try to be, I created my own and explained it all to them. One of the spaces asked you to fill in descriptions of yourself and I put the word brave among others. I explained to the kids that I think I am brave for being a 7th grade teacher and in turn, I think they are brave for coming to 7th grade ready to learn. I am not sure if this affected them at all but it got me thinking. For me, this is pretty brave. When I graduated college I never imagined in a million years I'd be teaching 90 preteens to read and write. I continually amaze myself, and not that I am all that or anything but just at where I am now. I wonder sometimes how I got here.

It was a good day, a 10 hour day, but a good day nonetheless. I met a lot of kids, remember none of their names, and even got through their first spelling list. I made some jokes, taught them what the word sarcasm means, and helped them find their classes. What made my day was one girl who came up to me on a break to tell me that she thinks I am an awesome teacher. Mind you, today was the first day of school. She went on and on about how we like to do the same things (from the crest) and how she can't wait to read the book I'm writing. She was so earnest and excited it was sweet.

And our kids were all in a uniform-look today. They had to have plain colored shirts with colors or crew necks; khaki, navy or blue jean pants and be tucked in. It was great - they all looked so good. I think I'd like to teach in a school with real uniforms, like Hogwarts!

There were snafus and there will be all week but all in all it was a good first day. Tomorrow my kids will get lockers and more lectures, they'll do some writing and we'll read "A Bad Case of Stripes" about fears and how they eat you up inside. And to top it all off, Ms. Knapp gets a root canal tomorrow afternoon - woohoo (no really, I am excited! Maybe then the pain of this abscessed tooth will subside!).

Ready or not

Tomorrow is the first day of school and I feel ready. I am sure by tomorrow morning I will be nervous but I think I am as prepared as I possibly can be. The books are on the desk, notes written on the chalk boards, seat charts ready to be filled in, new little faces to meet. Ang and I worked from 3:30pm until 12am last night at school. We wrote lesson plans, created examples, defined 3 weeks worth of spelling words, made bulletin boards, and copied. Between us, we made over 4000 copies last night. That's a lot of copying. And the copier only threw up twice, during which we found copies that must have been made last year. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

Other than that, not much has been going on this week. Today I slept in until after 10 and then read for a while, catching up on the news. Now I am doing laundry and pretty soon I'll make mexican chicken lasagna which will serve as lunch for the entire week. I think it'll be a long week but a good one, I'm confident I am prepared and I think the kids will do well. I think it's having this expectation that will help us all!

38 hours

That's how many hours we've worked in the past 3 days: 38. Yeah, it's been a long half of a week. But it feels better today then it did yesterday. Today was open house and orientation. I met about 15 of my students who all seem very polite and very afraid. One boy actually said to me, "There are no words to describe how I feel." Too funny.

Tomorrow there are lesson plans to write, copies to make, and plans to make. It'll be good, it feels good. I am excited. Now I need to go to bed. And I am trying not to beat myself up. I only exercised on Wednesday, not yesterday or today, hopefully tomorrow. And I haven't written in 2 days but I will not give up! I can't. Today I saw a quote that really got to me:

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal.

So even though I've failed on the writing and working out side of life for 2 days, I will not give up. There's always tomorrow!

The need to blog

So I really don't know what to write about. I am tired. Very tired, the kind you are when you've done a lot and it's good but you're still wanting to just lie still but your mind won't let you. Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense either!

Today we were at work from 7 until 3:30. And I went to the root canal specialist (oh yes, on top of last week's crown I now have to get a root canal and my tooth is absessed which means antibiotics! woohoo!) and the pharmacy and the grocery store. Then I walked/jogged 4 miles and did crunches I thought might kill me (Ang said the noise I made getting up was like I was throwing up, I don't know about that). Then we made dinner and I made lunch for tomorrow and then I had to wash my hair. Ugh. And we have to be at work tomorrow at 6:50AM.

I am glad I have a job, don't get me wrong. It's just hard adjusting from time off to work life again. And yes, I am so lucky to have had the time off, I know I am. And I got a lot done at school today including my bulletin boards looking all spiffy and our team bulletin board. I am North America's new team leader which means I get to go to an extra meeting tomorrow (oh yeah!) and then host my team's meeting. I am anxious and excited. I think it will be fine but it's something new and while I know the meeting stuff will go well, our old team leader is still on our team and she was ousted by our principal so I am praying for no hard feelings (at least expressed outwardly to me or others).

Okay, I need to write a little then head to bed. My new mantra for every single day: walk and write. Above all else I must do those things for me. Love you all!

A Good Walk

Exercise is important to me. It really is. I keep telling myself this. I want to be one of those people who can get up 2 hours early to go running. I tried running for a while while I lived in Kalamazoo. It didn't work out so well, I can jog but that's about it. I don't have the knees for anything else.

I forced myself to do my Walk Away the Pounds tapes this past week - a total of 18 miles. I did 4 more this morning but I don't know if it's enough. I wish I could afford classes and a trainer. I do some sit ups but then again, who knows if they're right. But I do know that as much as I didn't want to get out of bed early this morning (not so early but setting an alarm is early when you're on vacation), I enjoyed the walk once I was doing it. I enjoyed "raising my arms to heaven" as Leslie Sansone, the chipper host encourages. I enjoy the sweat I break and knowing I am doing something good for my body.

I only lost 2 pounds this week. Not the 10 I'd wanted. But I'll try again today, and tomorrow, and the next week. And I'll keep walking. And to those of you out there who I know are doing it with me - keep the faith! Love ya.

No Spoilers Here...Just Wonder

I have just literally, seconds ago, finished the final Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I won't tell you how it ended, in case you're still reading or want to someday, because I know what it is to have the ending to a book spoiled. And I also know what it is to savor it as well. That's what I got to do today.

I have been indulging for the past few days, enjoying stolen hours throughout the day, spending my time in the land of wizards and witches. And as the ending of the book neared, I thought about how much I love books. How much I love a good story, that you know has to end, so you have closure, but that you so do not want to end because it will mean friends you met along the way, lives you've been privy to, a world you've gotten to be a part of, is over. And that's how I felt today. I didn't want Harry Potter to end but I wanted to know the ending.

And I do now, I know the ending, and I also know that because of the seven glorious books J.K. Rowling has written, I have been entertained, and I will continue to be entertained for years to come. I can't wait to go back and reread the series and visit old friends and familiar places and smile over jokes I've heard before. It's the wonder of stories. The true wonder.

Note: If you've finished the last Harry Potter book, check out this interview with J.K. Rowling to find out a little more of the story...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959323/

Double Feature

Yes, today was one of those rare days where I got to sit in a dark theater for over 4 hours in a row and watch not one but two movies! It was pretty exciting.
First we saw "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" which was HILARIOUS. Really. Lots of great one liners and some pretty funny site gags. And nothing really dirty but just funny. At first it was uncomfortable fun, because it is about two straight firefighters getting married for the financial benefits (hope I didn't ruin the plot but I think this is self-explanatory from the ads) but then it warps into this cute family movie about friendship and love and people and growing into mature human beings. So check it out if you also need a break from the summer sun!
We finished one flick and decided to see another, "since we're here" as Ang put it. So we went right back in five minutes later to a showing of "Hairspray" which was also great. A real feel-good type of movie, and a musical if you didn't know it. I had never seen the stage show but this was a fantastic story and again, about more than just hairspray:-) Well worth the $6.50 matinee price!
So then we headed to Target where we picked up one copy of the new (and sadly, final) Harry Potter. Ang gets to read it first while I write ("chained to my desk" were her words) so I am hoping she's reading right now!
Oh, and we also just caught the series premiere of USA's "Burn Notice" and if you haven't checked it out yet, do. It's as an action comedy and it's very well written. Think of the lighter moments of Alias and you'll fall in love!
Okay, off to write since I am chained up and all...

"If there's a book you really want to read

but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."

--Toni Morrison

Fiasco = First Class

So we're back in Yuma. After a month and a day away, Ang and I made it back to our apartment Monday night at 9pm. We were supposed to be in at 5:30 but then life happened. It's funny now but was a bit anxiety-inducing at the time.

We had a 2:40 flight out of Houston Monday afternoon but one thing led to another and there was a long stop at Hobby Lobby with three kiddos, then the puppies got in the house at Nonnie's (Jamee's mother-in-law) and one proceeded to pee on me and then the fast food was not fast at all even if we did eat in the car and we got to the airport in time to get on the plane but our luggage could not get on so we opted to stick with it in Houston. After some fancy maneuvering (I cut in line, well technically I just got in the first class line, then angered the customer service rep but then made her feel sorry for me) I scored us tickets on the next flight for only $100 which included an upgrade to FIRST CLASS!

It was not as glamorous as the movies make it out to be but it was nice to have extra room. There are only two people per row instead of three and being in the front of the plane is quieter. Furthermore we got to choose our snacks from a basket containing Cape Cod potato chips, biscotti, and a cashew and honey sesame stick mix (our choice) and enjoy refills on our sodas. Also, we got to use the front bathroom. This was nice since usually I never go to the bathroom on a plane as it's such an ordeal. But we were able to maneuver much more easily with the extra room and get up to move a bit!

All in all, I was just happy we made it home the day we were supposed to. I hadn't wanted to leave Texas and my family but I really didn't want to spend the night in the Bush International Airport!

Tigers invade Texas

Ang and I have left the state of Michigan, we had a fantastic visit and now we're in Bryan, Texas north of Houston. We got here Tuesday afternoon and are staying with our cousin Jamee, her husband John and the three little ones above: Hannah (age 4), Olivia (age 11 weeks yesterday), and David (age 3). Yesterday while Jamee was in the shower we rushed into our room and got them all decked out in their new attire. They're headed to Michigan in August for a visit and we thought they needed some snazzy new duds for the trip.

It's been a great visit so far and there's lots more to come: we have been out to eat (free kids meals on Wednesdays are great!), watched some PBS kids (Curious George is annoying on the screen but less so than the bald cartoon kid with the crazy name who has his own show), we've snuggled, we've played games, read books, taken baths, made pancakes (eaten with Aunt Chris' strawberry jam of course!), and been very busy as you can only imagine these 3 little ones keep their family.

More to come later! I hear a little squeal...

So much to say

I am getting some flak for not posting more often but hey, that's what vacation's all about, right?!?! :-)
I have been enjoying my 3 weeks here in Michigan, so much has been happening yet we've had some slow days too. I'll have to post more about it as I remember it all. Tomorrow we head to Texas to stay with my cousin Jamee for five days and I am so excited to see her and her whole family!
Also, while I've been home we've been planning our next vacation - this time with the parents coming out west. They're going to fly into Vegas in October during our intercession (actually the very day we end the quarter at school) and we'll drive up to meet them. We've booked a room at the Golden Nugget for a night, two nights at the Grand Canyon, and then five nights at Bally's on the Strip. Also, just tonight we scored tickets for "O", the hottest Cirque de Soleil show in town as well as Blue Man Group. I am super-psyched!
Then once my parents fly back the next Saturday, our friend Susie from Howell (shout out to Sus!) is flying in and we're roadtripping it up the California coast to San Francisco where we're going to stay in the Fisherman's Wharf hostel (no, I have not seen the movie so no need to ask!) and then beat it back to Vegas just in time for my birthday!!! I am excited, can you tell?!?!?
Okay, it's nearing 12:30am and I need to get some sleep. We fly out tomorrow for Texas and I need my beauty rest. More soon, I promise. I am guessing with the heat wave that has hit Yuma early on this summer, there won't be much else to do when I get back there in a week besides write. And I'll get some more pics up!
Love to you all!

Happy Freedom Day!

It's the fourth of July here in Michigan which means we've planned a day on the lake, speed boat and all and of course, we're all watching the radar. Surprise, surprise, surprise. I know I've been quiet on the blog for quite some time and I'll write a lot more soon. It's been busy and sad here in Howell. We had to put Brownie, my cat of 18 years, to sleep last week and my last blog was about her so I haven't logged on in a while. I will soon.
Happy freedom to everyone, everywhere. I wish blessings and love and peace to all souls.

Tip for Thursday

Don't put chapstick on just before kissing the cat!

Happy Father's Day Dad

I am very thankful today to be able to spend the day, in person, with my dad. Angela and I flew into Michigan Friday night and it's been a whirlwind 48 hours so far and it's not going to slow down for a few days! But this morning we went to church with my parents and they asked us to talk about our dads and they gave us some prompts. Here's what I thought about today:

• My dad inspires me because...he told me when I beginning college and not sure what I wanted to study or do when I grew up that it was okay because he still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I thought that was so awesome, that my dad isn't done yet. This isn't it for him and that continually inspires me to try new things, go new places, and challenge myself knowing that there's always room for change and something exciting! Thanks dad for all your encouragement.
• The best memory of my father that I'd like to share is the time...he drove to Indiana to watch my play in my last college golf match, even though he'd told me he wouldn't be able to make it. I remember seeing him get out of the car and walk toward me and being so excited and him telling me he couldn't have missed it for anything.
• My dad is my best friend because...he makes me laugh and he gets my jokes, even the really subtle, sarcastic ones that make Ang and my mom yell and scoff.
• When I was growing up my dad disciplined by...holding strong and making sure I knew that he meant business. The lesson I learned later...was that he only ever wanted the best for me. And I am so thankful for that. I know a lot of people who did not have that kind of parent in their life and they've had to deal with issues I haven't had to.
• The funniest thing I remember about my dad is family dinners. We'd be sitting around the table and someone would say something and get us going and my dad would laugh and laugh and laugh and we'd all be laughing so hard for the longest time. I'd love those dinners so much.

Happy father's day to my dad and all the other dads out there!

Goodbyes

It's 9pm and I still haven't packed. I'm going to - really. As soon as I finish this blog. Ang is asleep in her bed, she's not packed either. But morning will come and we will get on the plane and tomorrow at this time be across the country in Michigan. But today was emotional and stressful and exciting and sad and tiring. Very tiring.

It started with our last bus duty day of the year, other teachers came out to back us up and it went well. Then the kids came inside. We had a half day with them, so shorter periods which was good and bad. We had to say goodbye and take pictures (I've never seen so many nice digital cameras and phones in one place before) and hand out report cards. And it all happened by 12:35pm. By the end each of my three white/chalk boards in the room looked like the one above, covered in messages and drawings and goodbyes. "I love yous" and "I'll miss yous" and "See you next year 'mom'"- it was hard to look at it all this afternoon and I just turned off the light and shut the door, knowing I'll start with a clean slate in August when I get back.

We said goodbyes all morning but it didn't get hard until my last period. They were my rough class at the beginning of the year. As I look back in my journal from August, I wrote about how they wouldn't talk to me and were unresponsive and had behavior issues. But as the year wore on, they became my favorite class. We had fun and I seemed to connect with these children. By the time they got to me it was nearing the end of the day and we were all a little tired and I think that played out several ways, they were quiet and loud at times, I was punchy and strict, and it was a good combination. We laughed a lot and they have a lot of stories about me and our experiences.

But when they got to me today, their last class of seventh grade - many were already in tears. And I am not a person who can let someone cry alone so I had to struggle to keep it together. We took class pictures, they wrote on my boards, and they began the hugging. I was surprised, pleasantly so, when even my boys approached me as we dismissed to give me a quick hug. But what I loved most was how each of them in this class has seemed to mature. As I was getting them together for the class picture, they encouraged two boys who are more shy and hung back to get in the picture, calling them by name and saying they "needed" to be in the shot. And then after the picture they called for a group hug and made me get in on it and ALL the kids hugged together. That was pretty cool and I was so happy to see their positive ending to the year in my class at least. As we headed out for the day, one of my boys was tearing up and told me he was going to military school in Florida this summer and wouldn't be back next year. He seemed to take today hard. And that got me going again.

As I walked outside, I was glad to see I wasn't the only teacher wiping her eyes behind sunglasses. And while it was a joyful day, the end of a long year, it was also heart-breaking. To know that these relationships we've been forging for the past 11 months would be changing, ending, stopping. The good and the bad, gone in a moment. I have spent hundreds of hours with these children. I know about their lives and their fears and their loves and their joy. And that has been such a blessing to me. God has given me such a gift and I know that goodbyes do not have to mean endings but I also know that a chapter closed today. I'll never recreate what happened in those days in that room with those kids. And that's okay, I don't want to.

I'm off to pack, and to say hello to some very special people tomorrow!

A little recognition

Yesterday was our Activities Assembly at school and at the end our golf team was presented with their championship t-shirts, their medals, and the banner that will hang in the gym (Ang and I signed it yesterday, shhhh! don't tell!! hehe). It was great, they played Queen's We are the Champions when we called the boys up they were eating it up. One of our eighth graders, Kevin - who goes out for every sport, even though he's not very coordinated, was so excited and he's so well liked that when his name was called, all the other eighth grader athletes sitting on the floor stood and gave him a standing ovation. And then when we presented our team with the trophy they got a standing O from the whole crowd, it was very cool.
So yeah, I'm bragging again, but these kids deserve it and it's a great top off to our awesome season! Go cougars!

Gratitude

Last week the mother (who is a teacher in my district) of a student of mine emailed me with a little quiz: favorite foods, stores, hobbies, etc. So I answered and went on my way. Then Monday morning I came in to find this basket on my desk! I was so surprised. She had collected everything she thought I'd like: a water bottle for yoga, scrapbooking pages and embellishes, bookmarks (because I love to read!), an itunes gift card, my favorite candies, plus things for my classroom - lots of magnets, markers and a fun pointer!
As I look at this basket this week I am constantly reminded of how thankful this child is to me, and I think about all the others who don't have parents who take them to do something like this. I am grateful. But I am also grateful for what she has reminded me, that it's important to show and tell others how much you appreciate them and what they do.
It's been a busy week at school: assemblies, locker clean-out, today's extravaganza (see Ang's blog), etc. but I am trying to remember to tell my kids and the staff members at school how much I appreciate them. I think the kids especially don't hear it enough. We focus so much on "the squeaky wheels" - the trouble makers and not enough on the good kids, the average kids who just do their jobs.
So that's my resolution tonight, to show more gratitude to those around me. I certainly appreciate thanks (and reese's!) when I get it and I know others do too.

Sleepless Thoughts

It's almost midnight and I have to get up in six hours to get ready for my last week of my first year of seventh grade. But it's one of those nights where my mind is going a hundred different ways a hundred miles per hour and I can't calm it down. I tried daydreaming, I tried counting, I tried praying, I tried corpse pose from yoga. Nothing works. I've been lying there for fifty-five minutes wide awake so I decided to get up.
They say (I have no idea who they is by the way) if you aren't asleep in twenty minutes you should get up and do something. So that's what I am doing. I got up.
I will try lying down again in a few minutes. This is when I start to panic, when I think that I have to get up in five hours and fifty-five minutes, or five hours and forty-five mintues. So I'll try not to do that. I know, I am weird. No need to remind me!
So that's it, not much I know. But here are some of the things running through my mind, in no particular order:

• Should I get the Marie Antoinette book I want from itunes or should I check the used bookstore for it or wait and see if in a day or two I still want to read 510 pages on the queen of France who was beheaded.
• What am I going to do with my kids tomorrow.
• Should I pack dress sandals for my trip home or should I just wear flip flops the whole time.
• I need to start looking for apartments in LA if I want to move there.
• Who's going to take us to the airport Friday and what should I take to eat on the plane.
• Next Monday I am going to start a new exercise routine, yoga and walking/running.
• Why don't my new shorts fit after one wash?
• I wonder when the next season of House will come out on DVD.
• I need to write some letters.
• Where will I meet Betsy in Chicago for lunch?
• The next time I stay in Santa Monica at the hostel I should make sure to leave my car parked until Sunday so parking is free (again, I am so weird!).
• Can I finish writing my book in a year?
• Have my parents read the part of the book I sent them?
• Will the change in my Netflix address really work so the movies go to Michigan this week?
• How cool is it that David Chase ended The Sopranos just like I thought he would (with nothing tied up!).
• When I move I am getting a bigger bed.
• I wonder what color quilt I should have Aunt Marie make for my birthday.
• Should I get a digital camera or stick with my beloved 35mm?
• I need to pack a toothbrush.

And the list goes on and on. I think I'll try bed again. UGH!

For him and all the others

Today was a good day in seventh grade. We were writing letters to all of our teachers, we were doing vocabulary puzzles and coloring Mexican art, we were listening to Elvis. And then an email came.
It was from the registrar and told me that one of my students would not be coming back to school after today. His dad is in a coma and not expected to make it. This was a huge surprise to me. Oh yeah, and mom doesn't want him to know it.
This isn't the first time we've gotten one of these phone calls. Just a few weeks ago I found out that another student in the same class was getting ready to move at the end of the year to New Orleans. Because her mother has terminal cancer and her father's going to have to raise her. And oh yeah, mom doesn't want her to know it.
So as I sat there, less than five feet away from this kid today, I couldn't help but think about what was about to happen to him. He's about to lose his father, his life is about to change. He will never be the same. And yet he had no idea.
I did some careful digging and I don't think he realized what I was doing at all. I figured out that his dad was deployed, according to him in Alaska. But he wasn't sure. Mom told him dad got to pick between Alaska and Iraq and dad picked Alaska. But dad works on harriers and I am pretty certain there aren't too many harriers in Alaska right now, since we're at war right now. So that seemed a bit fishy.
So I worked my magic and managed to get him all his end of the year stuff, his writing portfolio and journal to take home without him really realizing what I was doing. I also told him mom wanted him to take his tennis shoes home from his locker and when he told me he didn't have shoes in his locker I replied, "Well take home all the important stuff so then you won't get in trouble." This seemed very reasonable to him and so he cleaned it out before leaving.
But I had to be there, in my class with him, for over an hour, just thinking about what was going on in his life that he didn't even know about. He's thirteen, he's old enough to realize what's going on, to realize the people most important to him have been lying to him. And that's sad to me. I was always grateful for my mom and her opinion that kids should know stuff. She never tried to hide the truth from me. It might hurt and suck but it was out there. And that's how I like it. I want to know things.
As I watched this boy working on his picture of the rumble from The Outsiders, a giant dustball of a fight, I couldn't help but think about how that represents very aptly what's about to happen to him, his world's about to blow up. And today he was having a good day. He can be a withdrawn child, he was one of my golfers but he was moody and didn't always like to work. In fact, his A had dropped to a D this quarter. But he turned in his final project today and was proud of it and he'd gotten his grade back up to a C. In his letter to me he'd written that he was thankful for all I did to help him in class and on the golf team, and when he was on the PGA tour he'd remember me.
So I'll wonder about him tonight and tomorrow. I will most likely never know what ultimately happens to him or his family. It they're military and dad's gone, they'll soon leave I'd imagine. They only got here in the winter from North Carolina. And I'll be sad. For his dad and for all the others. And for this child and all the others.

Quite the surprise!

Monday I headed to lunch and was surprised to find these gorgeous flowers waiting for me in the front office!

They were a gift from my parents and Angela - the card read, "You made it!" And I did. I survived year one as a seventh grade teacher. Well, almost. We have six more days of school but we're almost done. Grades have been figured and put in the computer. The walls are being cleared off, we've finished our class novel and are wrapping up our year-end writing projects. Next week we have assemblies and the Extravaganza and a day of goodbyes.

You know, sometimes it really is the little things that get us through the day. Monday morning I was furious about discipline issues and how things were going that were out of my hands. Then I got these flowers and as I carried them into my fifth hour, my kids asked what they were for and I explained and they clapped and that just made the day all better. And today we had the all district staff celebration after work and it was Hawaiian theme and this morning one of the dear teachers in our building, Mrs. Prickett (along with her ever-present husband, Mr. Prickett) brought me a beautiful lei. It matched my outfit and I immediately put it on. I told my kids I had it on because I am special and I wore it all day and you know what, I did feel special!

The Outsiders

You know those books that you read and you can't put them down? You get so engrossed in the story and the characters and their world that it becomes real to you? The Outsiders was that book for me for the past few weeks.

We have been reading it as a class, well in all of my classes. And reading something three times a day really ingrains it in you. But then I decided to let my kids partner read and I had to catch up at night but I didn't mind. I was lying in my bed crying the night Ponyboy said, "I'm home."

If you haven't read it, go to the library and find the young adult section, do not be embarrassed at all, and get a copy of it. It's written by S.E. Hinton and I am extremely jealous of her, she wrote The Outsiders when she was just 16. I mean seriously, what have I been doing for the past 13 years!?!?!?!

We're going to finish it as a class tomorrow, the last 2 chapters. All year I've been reading the novels right along with the kids, listening to the stories unfold just as they do. And being disappointed when one of them ruins the story or twist for the others and myself. I did hear about the deaths in this book from others, not kids but other teachers and I was disappointed but not surprised. However, this afternoon I finished the book (so I could plan tomorrow's wrap-up activity) and I was so impressed. I smiled as I closed the book. The ending was perfect and I was deeply moved by the story of these brothers.

More and more I am realizing that young adult fiction has a lot to say. A LOT. I can't wait to delve into it some more. And my suggestion is this, if you're looking for some good summer reads, look no further than the young adult section of the library or bookstore. You'll be pleasantly surprised!

Yuma's Creatures

The roadrunner. Until I arrived in Arizona I really didn't believe that they were real, just a foil to Wiley E. Coyote. But here's one, and frankly, they're everywhere. Ang has been trying to catch a picture of one, unsuccessfully, on her camera phone for weeks now at the golf course. Today I snapped this picture during our golf outing to celebrate the championship. (The parade and prime time special come early next month!) It's funny because the kids all know she's been stalking roadrunners and totally call her out on it! But this guy was only one of Yuma's creatures that I encountered today while on the course. I also saw several lizards, small guys who move super fast. And then there were the ants.

Red fire ants. I first came into contact with these horrible creatures in Texas when my feet instantly became covered in them last summer. It happened again today. There I was, standing by the green and boom! My feet were on fire. Now I know, why was I wearing sandals on the golf course? Well I tried not to, in fact I had my socks and golf shoes on before I even got to the course. But this weekend I bought new shoes, fancy, expensive sandals to save my feet the wear and tear my Payless shoes inflict on them. And guess what? They rubbed my feet raw on the tops of my big toes within an hour of putting them on. And I had to continue walking with them for the next eight hours.

So anyway, I managed to find not one, not two, but three hills of fire ants today while on the course, just my lucky day I guess! Thank goodness these were the only wild creatures I saw today.

But it was a good day, as Ang's blog attests. We had a great outing. Nine boys made it and they golfed, we laughed, teased, and had fun. We ate pizza and brownies. Their parents came and sat and talked with us. We gave awards (best effort to get back on the team after getting suspended for failing grades, best team spirit for helping to design the golf shirts, and number one player). And I loved it when one of the new golfers came up to me to return my clubs he'd borrowed to play with and handed me the two balls I'd given him and said, "Ms. Knapp, this ball really worked good for me!" (Yes, I let him keep the ball!)

And then to top it all off like a big bright cherry on a sundae, one of the seventh grade boys who hadn't bought a shirt at the beginning of the season and didn't dress out for the first few weeks (although his identical twin brother bought a shirt right away and wore it to school a lot, go figure!) came running up to me as we were cleaning up. He was clutching a twenty dollar bill and he asked if he could buy the shirt he had been wearing today in the pictures. I got one of those big stupid grins on my face you can't fake and you surely can't stop. This is what it's all about.

10 on Tuesday

This weekend I got a little downtime to play my favorite computer game. I don't play many and occasionally get hooked into some mindless Jewel Qwest (thanks to Mom who fed this addiction at Christmastime with a full CD version!) while listening to podcasts or procrastinating. But this weekend I had the chance to play a little Sims. Yep, I love the Sims. I'm not very good at it but I find it fascinating. (And if you have no idea what the Sims are here's a little intro: you create and control "Sims" or people, you get them jobs, build their homes, make them eat and talk and fight and so on. Yeah, it sounds weird but it's addicting. To watch and play!) So here's my 10 on Tuesday:
10 things going on with my newest Sim family
1. Sim Guy and Sim Girl do not get along so I had to buy a second bed, the cheaper "spartan" bed and now Sim Girl only gets 2 comfort points at night instead of the 4 she should be getting in the nice sleigh bed Sim Guy won't share!
2. Sim Guy had a good job as a playground supervisor which would have moved him up to substitute teacher soon. And then he overslept, three times. And got fired.
3. Sim Guy likes to nag Sim Girl about the house. Even though it's large and they have a maid and a gardener. Whatever!
4. Sim neighbors tend to come in and eat whatever food is about, a lot! And they have a tendency to stick around when it's time for bed.
5. The only job left in the Sim Times for my Sim Girl is for a pickpocket. I do not want to lead her into a life of crime but the gardener doesn't work for free and she runs out of energy every time she tries to water all the plants around the house herself!
6. Sim Guy has caught the stove on fire twice! And the last time it wouldn't go out and burnt down the stove and the counter next to it. And they could only afford a cheap stove. So less food points every time they try to cook.
7. Sim Guy is too depressed to paint but painting gets him fun points which lead to less depression. It's a vicious cycle!
8. Sim Girl has a hard time focusing on reading, which gets her fun points but she loves to chat with Sim Guy. And she tries hugging him a lot. He lets her but does not seem happy about it.
9. My Sims always pay their bills late. The envelopes turn yellow then red and there are late fees. This is troublesome.
10. My Sims seem to have budgeting issues, much like me. I have $53 left in the checkbook for 10 days....

So there you have it, my 10 on Tuesday. I know, I know, it seems like I have too much time on my hands but I really only played for about an hour and a half. Which in Sim time is like 3 weeks:-) And I don't let myself play much anymore (remember those long nights of Sims Eric? Andrea? Kristin? Ang? Susie????)