For them and for no other reason

Today was a very long day to top off a very long week. Yesterday was capped off with Back-To-School night, basically an open house where families follow their kids' schedules for an abbreviated 10 minutes per class period. By the time we got home it had been almost 14 hours since I'd seen my house. And after what happened then, it could have been 14 more.

Since residing in the desert for over a year now I've seen my share of cockroaches. They're ugly, fast, and freak me out less and less. I'd yet to kill one but I'd seen the scurry away in the copy room at school when I turned on the lights. I knew they crawled up drains and came searching water and food. Then this week I had the well-know black widow spider incident (sidebar: Yuma Pest Control was in my classroom at 4pm today, telling me all about the nasty looking spiders and spraying for them, let's all say a prayer it works!). And then last night I had the cockroach incident.

We got home and ate a snack before falling asleep in front of the tv. At 10:15 I woke up with a start and knew I needed to take out my contacts and brush my teeth and go to bed. So we head to the bathroom and I sit down on the toliet and Ang starts to freak out a little. I am still so asleep I can't understand why and then I see it - a giant cockroach. I am not exaggerating. It's got to be six inches long. So I freak. And we go get running shoes on under our nightgowns and I grab my steel-toe shoe to kill it with and Ang, to her credit, chases after it. But it's fast. And then it STARTS TO FLY. Yes, it flies. I did not know cockroaches could fly. Today I find out that we have the super duper kind of roaches called Sewer Cockroaches that are huge and fly and come up through the drains in search of food. Fantastic. Really, this is great news.

Eventually we get it into the hall and I stand on it. I am afraid that it won't die because I've heard it's hard to kill them so I instruct Ang to get a container to capture it with. But I press down with the many pounds I have, all of them into that foot and praise God literally, he crunches and dies. (I had to step over that spot on the carpet this morning, seriously.) Needless to say, no one slept well in our house last night.

Thus, morning comes way to early and we get to school and it's a rough start. I have a nasty row (I like to pretend to sound British, it's so cool!) with a co-worker who chews me out in the hall and then have both the principal and the vice-prinicpal visit me within an hour to make sure I am okay and to let me know everything will be fine (my chewing out was not called for and an apology, such as it was, was made). But through it all, the exteremely long day, the crazy schedule of taking my kids outside to another room to be tested today, teaching them how to monitor their own progress (something now required of us and the kids in all subjects), and all the crazy adult stuff going on, it was the kids who got me through.

They were all smiles and good mornings and hellos and calling on me to popcorn read when they could have picked any other child in the room. They were telling me about books their reading and begging to take the spelling test today when they came in late. They were troopers who were quiet in the halls and the testing room. They were respectful when applauding their peers for being helpers of the week. They volunteered in droves to help serve lunch in the cafeteria next week as part of our new drive to encourage community service.

On child in particular touched my heart today. He's a quiet child who's always got a book and is very attentive to his work. Today he returned the second Harry Potter book and when I asked him if he enjoyed it he replied, "Oh yeah, I've read it a ton of times before. But my copy's all messed up and I just wanted to read a brand-new copy." I loved that! LOVED IT! That I have a brand-new book for him to read and that he's reading his so much it's all messed up.

So today was all about them. One class in particular rocked today because I knew they were tired and they could tell I was and I made the decision to read our class novel Tangerine first instead of last to give us all a little reprieve. Well we were all so into it, as I haven't read the book before and their class is furthest ahead, that we just kept reading the whole period. And I didn't see or hear a single kid not into the book. It was great.

So I'm going to sleep now, hopefully for a very long time. Ms. Knapp is exhausted. But happy too.

All I can think of is those spiders from Harry Potter...

So today was a fine day, we had art day in class. My kids wrote poems about their first week of school and then got to illustrate them with colored pencils, crayons, and clippings from magazines. There was talking, laughter, learning, and some music. A good day. I didn't have any meetings, even better. Then after school Ang and I worked in her room a while then moved down to mine to work. That's when things went bad.

We are rearranging a bit, we have 2 consumables for each child this year (a writing handbook and a reading handbook), a journal, and a portfolio - all things that need to be kept in the room. So I decided to make little areas for each of my 3 classes. I decided to put 1st hour in the farthest corner of the room by the window. Ang moved the 3 empty milk crates that had been sitting there waiting to be filled. As she did she says, "Hey, look at this cool spider web" then proceeds to scream, drop the milk crate, jump up ON TOP of one of my desks and walk across the desks to the back of the room. She's yelling for her shoes that she'd just taken off (by now we've been working over 10 hours) and I am looking at her bewildered. This behavior seems just puerile (rock on! that's one of the 36 new words I've learned in the last 3 days from my GRE prep program I've put myself on - by the way, it means childish).

But she's still screaming and I take her the shoes and then look in the crate. And there it is, an ugly black spider, which I know she hates, but I freak out too because it's also orange. So I back away and follow Ang from the room. She runs down the hall to Leslie's room to hide and I am sent to find the "boys" (aka janitors). They are no where to be found. So I go to my boss's office and ask her to call them to my room on the radio. She smiles and does saying, "Spider rescue to room 109". Here's the funny part. Two of the boys heard her correctly and opted not to come, I knew they wouldn't unless forced too. They hate spiders as much as we do. But a minute later I hear keys jingling down the hall and I see Bill running with a fire extinguisher. I say, "What are you going to stomp on it with that?" and he says, "No, I heard they needed fire and rescue in room 109!" Gotta love miscommunication.

So he goes in the room and I follow him and I look in the crate and the spiders gone and I'm like, fantastic! great! super! But wait, no there it is, in another corner of the crate. And Bill looks in and puts his arm toward me and says, "Move back." So I do, to the doorway across the room. He says it's a baby Black Widow Spider. And I freak out. Silently of course, but I still freak out. And leave the room. He goes to get the ant spray the school supplies them with (why in the world we don't have raid I don't know, no one can explain it to me) and goes in to kill it.

So apparently these spiders are becoming a noisome (another GRE word - meaning nasty) nusiance in our school. They caught 7 of them in our conference room last week and one wouldn't die. It looked like it was rearing on it's hind legs and coming toward the ant spray, according to Bill. This did not make me feel ANY better. And the boys were surprised the spiders had gotten to this side of the building, far away from the fields.

So yeah, I've seen my first, and God-willing (I am seriously praying for this) my last, black widow. Rumor has it they fight each other and don't travel in packs, which is good news for my classroom but I figure if it's a baby, there's got to be a mama somewhere. So I will be on the lookout from here on out. Also, I am never going barefoot in school again (something I did a lot in my carpeted room), I'm going to start wearing my steel-toed Doc Marten shoes, I'm going to buy myself a can of Raid for my closet, and I have to check everything I touch now. Or just not touch things where they might hide.

So yeah, that's Yuma for ya. Not only do we have six inch cockroaches, we've got black widows. And it's even too freaking hot to go swimming. What could be better?!?!?!

Puking Pastilles

You know in Harry Potter how the Weasley Twins manufacture and sell puking pastilles that get students out of class by bringing on sudden vomiting? I think one of my students got his hands on some this afternoon.

My class was working quietly, taking the reading pretest and all of a sudden one of my kids is at the trash can throwing up. It was fantastic. I wasn't quite sure what to do at first because he just kept throwing up. So I sent him to the nurse but of course because he's only been at our school four days, he didn't know where the nurse was so I had to explain that. And then I called the nurse to let her know he was coming down and I didn't know his name, I had to look him up on the seating chart. It was great. Then I called down to the office to get a janitor and the secretary was like, let me make sure I've got it right, "Wet cleanup on aisle 109?" Yeah, it was great.

So that was my excitement today. Other than that things went well. My kids have their first spelling test tomorrow and I have a lot of papers to grade and lesson plans to make this weekend so Saturday I'll be back at school but I know it'll get better soon. Also, on a really exciting note: I've had eight kids check out books from me this week. I don't think I had eight kids borrow books from me all last year. I sent home with them three Harry Potters, Charlotte's Web, Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and many others. I'm excited - they like to read! Woo Hoo!

Also, I took a three hour nap today when I got home and now I'm going to head to bed. It's been a busy week!

The amazing flying temporary crown

Yes, yes, that's right. Today I went in for my root canal and in the process, my temporary crown went flying into ANOTHER room! The dentist looked surprised and had an assistant go get it. I don't even know if they washed it off. Whatever. It was not a fun way to spend an afternoon. In fact, I had to have double doses of Novocaine while in the chair. Nothin' like feeling the drilling, as if the sound of it isn't bad enough.

But there was an upside to my visit this afternoon. I got to the dentist office and found out the receptionist, who's super sweet and always gets me in and lets me pay later after she calls to check on my insurance and stuff, had forgotten to schedule me in. So after some worry and work on her part, the office decided to stay late and do my root canal at five which I was happy for. A) because I needed it done, it hurts and B)I am getting my permanent crown on Monday. I had to wait an hour and decided there wasn't enough time to go home so I sat down to read some magazines and it was really great. I was reading my daily devotional calendar this morning (from my lovely friend Leslie!) and it was about waiting and using the time God creates for us to wait in to the best possible use. I decided that God wanted me to wait today, most likely so I could just breathe and relax after another long day at school. And that I did. I read some People magazines and then kept falling asleep in the chair while having the root canal. (Note: This is not a good idea. The doctor kept asking, very nicely to please open my mouth wider because the more I felt sleepy, the more it closed....).

So all in all, an okay day. A solid C for average. The downside is Ang has a bad sinus infection but she went to UrgentCare and got some drugs so hopefully that will help. And tomorrow's Wednesday which is our first short day with the kids who go home at one and then we have meetings until three-thirty. Yippee!

Brave

Today I had my kids create a person crest to introduce themselves to one another. And of course, being the good teacher I try to be, I created my own and explained it all to them. One of the spaces asked you to fill in descriptions of yourself and I put the word brave among others. I explained to the kids that I think I am brave for being a 7th grade teacher and in turn, I think they are brave for coming to 7th grade ready to learn. I am not sure if this affected them at all but it got me thinking. For me, this is pretty brave. When I graduated college I never imagined in a million years I'd be teaching 90 preteens to read and write. I continually amaze myself, and not that I am all that or anything but just at where I am now. I wonder sometimes how I got here.

It was a good day, a 10 hour day, but a good day nonetheless. I met a lot of kids, remember none of their names, and even got through their first spelling list. I made some jokes, taught them what the word sarcasm means, and helped them find their classes. What made my day was one girl who came up to me on a break to tell me that she thinks I am an awesome teacher. Mind you, today was the first day of school. She went on and on about how we like to do the same things (from the crest) and how she can't wait to read the book I'm writing. She was so earnest and excited it was sweet.

And our kids were all in a uniform-look today. They had to have plain colored shirts with colors or crew necks; khaki, navy or blue jean pants and be tucked in. It was great - they all looked so good. I think I'd like to teach in a school with real uniforms, like Hogwarts!

There were snafus and there will be all week but all in all it was a good first day. Tomorrow my kids will get lockers and more lectures, they'll do some writing and we'll read "A Bad Case of Stripes" about fears and how they eat you up inside. And to top it all off, Ms. Knapp gets a root canal tomorrow afternoon - woohoo (no really, I am excited! Maybe then the pain of this abscessed tooth will subside!).

Ready or not

Tomorrow is the first day of school and I feel ready. I am sure by tomorrow morning I will be nervous but I think I am as prepared as I possibly can be. The books are on the desk, notes written on the chalk boards, seat charts ready to be filled in, new little faces to meet. Ang and I worked from 3:30pm until 12am last night at school. We wrote lesson plans, created examples, defined 3 weeks worth of spelling words, made bulletin boards, and copied. Between us, we made over 4000 copies last night. That's a lot of copying. And the copier only threw up twice, during which we found copies that must have been made last year. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

Other than that, not much has been going on this week. Today I slept in until after 10 and then read for a while, catching up on the news. Now I am doing laundry and pretty soon I'll make mexican chicken lasagna which will serve as lunch for the entire week. I think it'll be a long week but a good one, I'm confident I am prepared and I think the kids will do well. I think it's having this expectation that will help us all!

38 hours

That's how many hours we've worked in the past 3 days: 38. Yeah, it's been a long half of a week. But it feels better today then it did yesterday. Today was open house and orientation. I met about 15 of my students who all seem very polite and very afraid. One boy actually said to me, "There are no words to describe how I feel." Too funny.

Tomorrow there are lesson plans to write, copies to make, and plans to make. It'll be good, it feels good. I am excited. Now I need to go to bed. And I am trying not to beat myself up. I only exercised on Wednesday, not yesterday or today, hopefully tomorrow. And I haven't written in 2 days but I will not give up! I can't. Today I saw a quote that really got to me:

Success is not final. Failure is not fatal.

So even though I've failed on the writing and working out side of life for 2 days, I will not give up. There's always tomorrow!

The need to blog

So I really don't know what to write about. I am tired. Very tired, the kind you are when you've done a lot and it's good but you're still wanting to just lie still but your mind won't let you. Yeah, I don't know if that makes sense either!

Today we were at work from 7 until 3:30. And I went to the root canal specialist (oh yes, on top of last week's crown I now have to get a root canal and my tooth is absessed which means antibiotics! woohoo!) and the pharmacy and the grocery store. Then I walked/jogged 4 miles and did crunches I thought might kill me (Ang said the noise I made getting up was like I was throwing up, I don't know about that). Then we made dinner and I made lunch for tomorrow and then I had to wash my hair. Ugh. And we have to be at work tomorrow at 6:50AM.

I am glad I have a job, don't get me wrong. It's just hard adjusting from time off to work life again. And yes, I am so lucky to have had the time off, I know I am. And I got a lot done at school today including my bulletin boards looking all spiffy and our team bulletin board. I am North America's new team leader which means I get to go to an extra meeting tomorrow (oh yeah!) and then host my team's meeting. I am anxious and excited. I think it will be fine but it's something new and while I know the meeting stuff will go well, our old team leader is still on our team and she was ousted by our principal so I am praying for no hard feelings (at least expressed outwardly to me or others).

Okay, I need to write a little then head to bed. My new mantra for every single day: walk and write. Above all else I must do those things for me. Love you all!

A Good Walk

Exercise is important to me. It really is. I keep telling myself this. I want to be one of those people who can get up 2 hours early to go running. I tried running for a while while I lived in Kalamazoo. It didn't work out so well, I can jog but that's about it. I don't have the knees for anything else.

I forced myself to do my Walk Away the Pounds tapes this past week - a total of 18 miles. I did 4 more this morning but I don't know if it's enough. I wish I could afford classes and a trainer. I do some sit ups but then again, who knows if they're right. But I do know that as much as I didn't want to get out of bed early this morning (not so early but setting an alarm is early when you're on vacation), I enjoyed the walk once I was doing it. I enjoyed "raising my arms to heaven" as Leslie Sansone, the chipper host encourages. I enjoy the sweat I break and knowing I am doing something good for my body.

I only lost 2 pounds this week. Not the 10 I'd wanted. But I'll try again today, and tomorrow, and the next week. And I'll keep walking. And to those of you out there who I know are doing it with me - keep the faith! Love ya.

No Spoilers Here...Just Wonder

I have just literally, seconds ago, finished the final Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I won't tell you how it ended, in case you're still reading or want to someday, because I know what it is to have the ending to a book spoiled. And I also know what it is to savor it as well. That's what I got to do today.

I have been indulging for the past few days, enjoying stolen hours throughout the day, spending my time in the land of wizards and witches. And as the ending of the book neared, I thought about how much I love books. How much I love a good story, that you know has to end, so you have closure, but that you so do not want to end because it will mean friends you met along the way, lives you've been privy to, a world you've gotten to be a part of, is over. And that's how I felt today. I didn't want Harry Potter to end but I wanted to know the ending.

And I do now, I know the ending, and I also know that because of the seven glorious books J.K. Rowling has written, I have been entertained, and I will continue to be entertained for years to come. I can't wait to go back and reread the series and visit old friends and familiar places and smile over jokes I've heard before. It's the wonder of stories. The true wonder.

Note: If you've finished the last Harry Potter book, check out this interview with J.K. Rowling to find out a little more of the story...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959323/

Double Feature

Yes, today was one of those rare days where I got to sit in a dark theater for over 4 hours in a row and watch not one but two movies! It was pretty exciting.
First we saw "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" which was HILARIOUS. Really. Lots of great one liners and some pretty funny site gags. And nothing really dirty but just funny. At first it was uncomfortable fun, because it is about two straight firefighters getting married for the financial benefits (hope I didn't ruin the plot but I think this is self-explanatory from the ads) but then it warps into this cute family movie about friendship and love and people and growing into mature human beings. So check it out if you also need a break from the summer sun!
We finished one flick and decided to see another, "since we're here" as Ang put it. So we went right back in five minutes later to a showing of "Hairspray" which was also great. A real feel-good type of movie, and a musical if you didn't know it. I had never seen the stage show but this was a fantastic story and again, about more than just hairspray:-) Well worth the $6.50 matinee price!
So then we headed to Target where we picked up one copy of the new (and sadly, final) Harry Potter. Ang gets to read it first while I write ("chained to my desk" were her words) so I am hoping she's reading right now!
Oh, and we also just caught the series premiere of USA's "Burn Notice" and if you haven't checked it out yet, do. It's as an action comedy and it's very well written. Think of the lighter moments of Alias and you'll fall in love!
Okay, off to write since I am chained up and all...

"If there's a book you really want to read

but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."

--Toni Morrison

Fiasco = First Class

So we're back in Yuma. After a month and a day away, Ang and I made it back to our apartment Monday night at 9pm. We were supposed to be in at 5:30 but then life happened. It's funny now but was a bit anxiety-inducing at the time.

We had a 2:40 flight out of Houston Monday afternoon but one thing led to another and there was a long stop at Hobby Lobby with three kiddos, then the puppies got in the house at Nonnie's (Jamee's mother-in-law) and one proceeded to pee on me and then the fast food was not fast at all even if we did eat in the car and we got to the airport in time to get on the plane but our luggage could not get on so we opted to stick with it in Houston. After some fancy maneuvering (I cut in line, well technically I just got in the first class line, then angered the customer service rep but then made her feel sorry for me) I scored us tickets on the next flight for only $100 which included an upgrade to FIRST CLASS!

It was not as glamorous as the movies make it out to be but it was nice to have extra room. There are only two people per row instead of three and being in the front of the plane is quieter. Furthermore we got to choose our snacks from a basket containing Cape Cod potato chips, biscotti, and a cashew and honey sesame stick mix (our choice) and enjoy refills on our sodas. Also, we got to use the front bathroom. This was nice since usually I never go to the bathroom on a plane as it's such an ordeal. But we were able to maneuver much more easily with the extra room and get up to move a bit!

All in all, I was just happy we made it home the day we were supposed to. I hadn't wanted to leave Texas and my family but I really didn't want to spend the night in the Bush International Airport!

Tigers invade Texas

Ang and I have left the state of Michigan, we had a fantastic visit and now we're in Bryan, Texas north of Houston. We got here Tuesday afternoon and are staying with our cousin Jamee, her husband John and the three little ones above: Hannah (age 4), Olivia (age 11 weeks yesterday), and David (age 3). Yesterday while Jamee was in the shower we rushed into our room and got them all decked out in their new attire. They're headed to Michigan in August for a visit and we thought they needed some snazzy new duds for the trip.

It's been a great visit so far and there's lots more to come: we have been out to eat (free kids meals on Wednesdays are great!), watched some PBS kids (Curious George is annoying on the screen but less so than the bald cartoon kid with the crazy name who has his own show), we've snuggled, we've played games, read books, taken baths, made pancakes (eaten with Aunt Chris' strawberry jam of course!), and been very busy as you can only imagine these 3 little ones keep their family.

More to come later! I hear a little squeal...

So much to say

I am getting some flak for not posting more often but hey, that's what vacation's all about, right?!?! :-)
I have been enjoying my 3 weeks here in Michigan, so much has been happening yet we've had some slow days too. I'll have to post more about it as I remember it all. Tomorrow we head to Texas to stay with my cousin Jamee for five days and I am so excited to see her and her whole family!
Also, while I've been home we've been planning our next vacation - this time with the parents coming out west. They're going to fly into Vegas in October during our intercession (actually the very day we end the quarter at school) and we'll drive up to meet them. We've booked a room at the Golden Nugget for a night, two nights at the Grand Canyon, and then five nights at Bally's on the Strip. Also, just tonight we scored tickets for "O", the hottest Cirque de Soleil show in town as well as Blue Man Group. I am super-psyched!
Then once my parents fly back the next Saturday, our friend Susie from Howell (shout out to Sus!) is flying in and we're roadtripping it up the California coast to San Francisco where we're going to stay in the Fisherman's Wharf hostel (no, I have not seen the movie so no need to ask!) and then beat it back to Vegas just in time for my birthday!!! I am excited, can you tell?!?!?
Okay, it's nearing 12:30am and I need to get some sleep. We fly out tomorrow for Texas and I need my beauty rest. More soon, I promise. I am guessing with the heat wave that has hit Yuma early on this summer, there won't be much else to do when I get back there in a week besides write. And I'll get some more pics up!
Love to you all!

Happy Freedom Day!

It's the fourth of July here in Michigan which means we've planned a day on the lake, speed boat and all and of course, we're all watching the radar. Surprise, surprise, surprise. I know I've been quiet on the blog for quite some time and I'll write a lot more soon. It's been busy and sad here in Howell. We had to put Brownie, my cat of 18 years, to sleep last week and my last blog was about her so I haven't logged on in a while. I will soon.
Happy freedom to everyone, everywhere. I wish blessings and love and peace to all souls.

Tip for Thursday

Don't put chapstick on just before kissing the cat!

Happy Father's Day Dad

I am very thankful today to be able to spend the day, in person, with my dad. Angela and I flew into Michigan Friday night and it's been a whirlwind 48 hours so far and it's not going to slow down for a few days! But this morning we went to church with my parents and they asked us to talk about our dads and they gave us some prompts. Here's what I thought about today:

• My dad inspires me because...he told me when I beginning college and not sure what I wanted to study or do when I grew up that it was okay because he still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I thought that was so awesome, that my dad isn't done yet. This isn't it for him and that continually inspires me to try new things, go new places, and challenge myself knowing that there's always room for change and something exciting! Thanks dad for all your encouragement.
• The best memory of my father that I'd like to share is the time...he drove to Indiana to watch my play in my last college golf match, even though he'd told me he wouldn't be able to make it. I remember seeing him get out of the car and walk toward me and being so excited and him telling me he couldn't have missed it for anything.
• My dad is my best friend because...he makes me laugh and he gets my jokes, even the really subtle, sarcastic ones that make Ang and my mom yell and scoff.
• When I was growing up my dad disciplined by...holding strong and making sure I knew that he meant business. The lesson I learned later...was that he only ever wanted the best for me. And I am so thankful for that. I know a lot of people who did not have that kind of parent in their life and they've had to deal with issues I haven't had to.
• The funniest thing I remember about my dad is family dinners. We'd be sitting around the table and someone would say something and get us going and my dad would laugh and laugh and laugh and we'd all be laughing so hard for the longest time. I'd love those dinners so much.

Happy father's day to my dad and all the other dads out there!

Goodbyes

It's 9pm and I still haven't packed. I'm going to - really. As soon as I finish this blog. Ang is asleep in her bed, she's not packed either. But morning will come and we will get on the plane and tomorrow at this time be across the country in Michigan. But today was emotional and stressful and exciting and sad and tiring. Very tiring.

It started with our last bus duty day of the year, other teachers came out to back us up and it went well. Then the kids came inside. We had a half day with them, so shorter periods which was good and bad. We had to say goodbye and take pictures (I've never seen so many nice digital cameras and phones in one place before) and hand out report cards. And it all happened by 12:35pm. By the end each of my three white/chalk boards in the room looked like the one above, covered in messages and drawings and goodbyes. "I love yous" and "I'll miss yous" and "See you next year 'mom'"- it was hard to look at it all this afternoon and I just turned off the light and shut the door, knowing I'll start with a clean slate in August when I get back.

We said goodbyes all morning but it didn't get hard until my last period. They were my rough class at the beginning of the year. As I look back in my journal from August, I wrote about how they wouldn't talk to me and were unresponsive and had behavior issues. But as the year wore on, they became my favorite class. We had fun and I seemed to connect with these children. By the time they got to me it was nearing the end of the day and we were all a little tired and I think that played out several ways, they were quiet and loud at times, I was punchy and strict, and it was a good combination. We laughed a lot and they have a lot of stories about me and our experiences.

But when they got to me today, their last class of seventh grade - many were already in tears. And I am not a person who can let someone cry alone so I had to struggle to keep it together. We took class pictures, they wrote on my boards, and they began the hugging. I was surprised, pleasantly so, when even my boys approached me as we dismissed to give me a quick hug. But what I loved most was how each of them in this class has seemed to mature. As I was getting them together for the class picture, they encouraged two boys who are more shy and hung back to get in the picture, calling them by name and saying they "needed" to be in the shot. And then after the picture they called for a group hug and made me get in on it and ALL the kids hugged together. That was pretty cool and I was so happy to see their positive ending to the year in my class at least. As we headed out for the day, one of my boys was tearing up and told me he was going to military school in Florida this summer and wouldn't be back next year. He seemed to take today hard. And that got me going again.

As I walked outside, I was glad to see I wasn't the only teacher wiping her eyes behind sunglasses. And while it was a joyful day, the end of a long year, it was also heart-breaking. To know that these relationships we've been forging for the past 11 months would be changing, ending, stopping. The good and the bad, gone in a moment. I have spent hundreds of hours with these children. I know about their lives and their fears and their loves and their joy. And that has been such a blessing to me. God has given me such a gift and I know that goodbyes do not have to mean endings but I also know that a chapter closed today. I'll never recreate what happened in those days in that room with those kids. And that's okay, I don't want to.

I'm off to pack, and to say hello to some very special people tomorrow!

A little recognition

Yesterday was our Activities Assembly at school and at the end our golf team was presented with their championship t-shirts, their medals, and the banner that will hang in the gym (Ang and I signed it yesterday, shhhh! don't tell!! hehe). It was great, they played Queen's We are the Champions when we called the boys up they were eating it up. One of our eighth graders, Kevin - who goes out for every sport, even though he's not very coordinated, was so excited and he's so well liked that when his name was called, all the other eighth grader athletes sitting on the floor stood and gave him a standing ovation. And then when we presented our team with the trophy they got a standing O from the whole crowd, it was very cool.
So yeah, I'm bragging again, but these kids deserve it and it's a great top off to our awesome season! Go cougars!

Gratitude

Last week the mother (who is a teacher in my district) of a student of mine emailed me with a little quiz: favorite foods, stores, hobbies, etc. So I answered and went on my way. Then Monday morning I came in to find this basket on my desk! I was so surprised. She had collected everything she thought I'd like: a water bottle for yoga, scrapbooking pages and embellishes, bookmarks (because I love to read!), an itunes gift card, my favorite candies, plus things for my classroom - lots of magnets, markers and a fun pointer!
As I look at this basket this week I am constantly reminded of how thankful this child is to me, and I think about all the others who don't have parents who take them to do something like this. I am grateful. But I am also grateful for what she has reminded me, that it's important to show and tell others how much you appreciate them and what they do.
It's been a busy week at school: assemblies, locker clean-out, today's extravaganza (see Ang's blog), etc. but I am trying to remember to tell my kids and the staff members at school how much I appreciate them. I think the kids especially don't hear it enough. We focus so much on "the squeaky wheels" - the trouble makers and not enough on the good kids, the average kids who just do their jobs.
So that's my resolution tonight, to show more gratitude to those around me. I certainly appreciate thanks (and reese's!) when I get it and I know others do too.

Sleepless Thoughts

It's almost midnight and I have to get up in six hours to get ready for my last week of my first year of seventh grade. But it's one of those nights where my mind is going a hundred different ways a hundred miles per hour and I can't calm it down. I tried daydreaming, I tried counting, I tried praying, I tried corpse pose from yoga. Nothing works. I've been lying there for fifty-five minutes wide awake so I decided to get up.
They say (I have no idea who they is by the way) if you aren't asleep in twenty minutes you should get up and do something. So that's what I am doing. I got up.
I will try lying down again in a few minutes. This is when I start to panic, when I think that I have to get up in five hours and fifty-five minutes, or five hours and forty-five mintues. So I'll try not to do that. I know, I am weird. No need to remind me!
So that's it, not much I know. But here are some of the things running through my mind, in no particular order:

• Should I get the Marie Antoinette book I want from itunes or should I check the used bookstore for it or wait and see if in a day or two I still want to read 510 pages on the queen of France who was beheaded.
• What am I going to do with my kids tomorrow.
• Should I pack dress sandals for my trip home or should I just wear flip flops the whole time.
• I need to start looking for apartments in LA if I want to move there.
• Who's going to take us to the airport Friday and what should I take to eat on the plane.
• Next Monday I am going to start a new exercise routine, yoga and walking/running.
• Why don't my new shorts fit after one wash?
• I wonder when the next season of House will come out on DVD.
• I need to write some letters.
• Where will I meet Betsy in Chicago for lunch?
• The next time I stay in Santa Monica at the hostel I should make sure to leave my car parked until Sunday so parking is free (again, I am so weird!).
• Can I finish writing my book in a year?
• Have my parents read the part of the book I sent them?
• Will the change in my Netflix address really work so the movies go to Michigan this week?
• How cool is it that David Chase ended The Sopranos just like I thought he would (with nothing tied up!).
• When I move I am getting a bigger bed.
• I wonder what color quilt I should have Aunt Marie make for my birthday.
• Should I get a digital camera or stick with my beloved 35mm?
• I need to pack a toothbrush.

And the list goes on and on. I think I'll try bed again. UGH!

For him and all the others

Today was a good day in seventh grade. We were writing letters to all of our teachers, we were doing vocabulary puzzles and coloring Mexican art, we were listening to Elvis. And then an email came.
It was from the registrar and told me that one of my students would not be coming back to school after today. His dad is in a coma and not expected to make it. This was a huge surprise to me. Oh yeah, and mom doesn't want him to know it.
This isn't the first time we've gotten one of these phone calls. Just a few weeks ago I found out that another student in the same class was getting ready to move at the end of the year to New Orleans. Because her mother has terminal cancer and her father's going to have to raise her. And oh yeah, mom doesn't want her to know it.
So as I sat there, less than five feet away from this kid today, I couldn't help but think about what was about to happen to him. He's about to lose his father, his life is about to change. He will never be the same. And yet he had no idea.
I did some careful digging and I don't think he realized what I was doing at all. I figured out that his dad was deployed, according to him in Alaska. But he wasn't sure. Mom told him dad got to pick between Alaska and Iraq and dad picked Alaska. But dad works on harriers and I am pretty certain there aren't too many harriers in Alaska right now, since we're at war right now. So that seemed a bit fishy.
So I worked my magic and managed to get him all his end of the year stuff, his writing portfolio and journal to take home without him really realizing what I was doing. I also told him mom wanted him to take his tennis shoes home from his locker and when he told me he didn't have shoes in his locker I replied, "Well take home all the important stuff so then you won't get in trouble." This seemed very reasonable to him and so he cleaned it out before leaving.
But I had to be there, in my class with him, for over an hour, just thinking about what was going on in his life that he didn't even know about. He's thirteen, he's old enough to realize what's going on, to realize the people most important to him have been lying to him. And that's sad to me. I was always grateful for my mom and her opinion that kids should know stuff. She never tried to hide the truth from me. It might hurt and suck but it was out there. And that's how I like it. I want to know things.
As I watched this boy working on his picture of the rumble from The Outsiders, a giant dustball of a fight, I couldn't help but think about how that represents very aptly what's about to happen to him, his world's about to blow up. And today he was having a good day. He can be a withdrawn child, he was one of my golfers but he was moody and didn't always like to work. In fact, his A had dropped to a D this quarter. But he turned in his final project today and was proud of it and he'd gotten his grade back up to a C. In his letter to me he'd written that he was thankful for all I did to help him in class and on the golf team, and when he was on the PGA tour he'd remember me.
So I'll wonder about him tonight and tomorrow. I will most likely never know what ultimately happens to him or his family. It they're military and dad's gone, they'll soon leave I'd imagine. They only got here in the winter from North Carolina. And I'll be sad. For his dad and for all the others. And for this child and all the others.

Quite the surprise!

Monday I headed to lunch and was surprised to find these gorgeous flowers waiting for me in the front office!

They were a gift from my parents and Angela - the card read, "You made it!" And I did. I survived year one as a seventh grade teacher. Well, almost. We have six more days of school but we're almost done. Grades have been figured and put in the computer. The walls are being cleared off, we've finished our class novel and are wrapping up our year-end writing projects. Next week we have assemblies and the Extravaganza and a day of goodbyes.

You know, sometimes it really is the little things that get us through the day. Monday morning I was furious about discipline issues and how things were going that were out of my hands. Then I got these flowers and as I carried them into my fifth hour, my kids asked what they were for and I explained and they clapped and that just made the day all better. And today we had the all district staff celebration after work and it was Hawaiian theme and this morning one of the dear teachers in our building, Mrs. Prickett (along with her ever-present husband, Mr. Prickett) brought me a beautiful lei. It matched my outfit and I immediately put it on. I told my kids I had it on because I am special and I wore it all day and you know what, I did feel special!

The Outsiders

You know those books that you read and you can't put them down? You get so engrossed in the story and the characters and their world that it becomes real to you? The Outsiders was that book for me for the past few weeks.

We have been reading it as a class, well in all of my classes. And reading something three times a day really ingrains it in you. But then I decided to let my kids partner read and I had to catch up at night but I didn't mind. I was lying in my bed crying the night Ponyboy said, "I'm home."

If you haven't read it, go to the library and find the young adult section, do not be embarrassed at all, and get a copy of it. It's written by S.E. Hinton and I am extremely jealous of her, she wrote The Outsiders when she was just 16. I mean seriously, what have I been doing for the past 13 years!?!?!?!

We're going to finish it as a class tomorrow, the last 2 chapters. All year I've been reading the novels right along with the kids, listening to the stories unfold just as they do. And being disappointed when one of them ruins the story or twist for the others and myself. I did hear about the deaths in this book from others, not kids but other teachers and I was disappointed but not surprised. However, this afternoon I finished the book (so I could plan tomorrow's wrap-up activity) and I was so impressed. I smiled as I closed the book. The ending was perfect and I was deeply moved by the story of these brothers.

More and more I am realizing that young adult fiction has a lot to say. A LOT. I can't wait to delve into it some more. And my suggestion is this, if you're looking for some good summer reads, look no further than the young adult section of the library or bookstore. You'll be pleasantly surprised!

Yuma's Creatures

The roadrunner. Until I arrived in Arizona I really didn't believe that they were real, just a foil to Wiley E. Coyote. But here's one, and frankly, they're everywhere. Ang has been trying to catch a picture of one, unsuccessfully, on her camera phone for weeks now at the golf course. Today I snapped this picture during our golf outing to celebrate the championship. (The parade and prime time special come early next month!) It's funny because the kids all know she's been stalking roadrunners and totally call her out on it! But this guy was only one of Yuma's creatures that I encountered today while on the course. I also saw several lizards, small guys who move super fast. And then there were the ants.

Red fire ants. I first came into contact with these horrible creatures in Texas when my feet instantly became covered in them last summer. It happened again today. There I was, standing by the green and boom! My feet were on fire. Now I know, why was I wearing sandals on the golf course? Well I tried not to, in fact I had my socks and golf shoes on before I even got to the course. But this weekend I bought new shoes, fancy, expensive sandals to save my feet the wear and tear my Payless shoes inflict on them. And guess what? They rubbed my feet raw on the tops of my big toes within an hour of putting them on. And I had to continue walking with them for the next eight hours.

So anyway, I managed to find not one, not two, but three hills of fire ants today while on the course, just my lucky day I guess! Thank goodness these were the only wild creatures I saw today.

But it was a good day, as Ang's blog attests. We had a great outing. Nine boys made it and they golfed, we laughed, teased, and had fun. We ate pizza and brownies. Their parents came and sat and talked with us. We gave awards (best effort to get back on the team after getting suspended for failing grades, best team spirit for helping to design the golf shirts, and number one player). And I loved it when one of the new golfers came up to me to return my clubs he'd borrowed to play with and handed me the two balls I'd given him and said, "Ms. Knapp, this ball really worked good for me!" (Yes, I let him keep the ball!)

And then to top it all off like a big bright cherry on a sundae, one of the seventh grade boys who hadn't bought a shirt at the beginning of the season and didn't dress out for the first few weeks (although his identical twin brother bought a shirt right away and wore it to school a lot, go figure!) came running up to me as we were cleaning up. He was clutching a twenty dollar bill and he asked if he could buy the shirt he had been wearing today in the pictures. I got one of those big stupid grins on my face you can't fake and you surely can't stop. This is what it's all about.

10 on Tuesday

This weekend I got a little downtime to play my favorite computer game. I don't play many and occasionally get hooked into some mindless Jewel Qwest (thanks to Mom who fed this addiction at Christmastime with a full CD version!) while listening to podcasts or procrastinating. But this weekend I had the chance to play a little Sims. Yep, I love the Sims. I'm not very good at it but I find it fascinating. (And if you have no idea what the Sims are here's a little intro: you create and control "Sims" or people, you get them jobs, build their homes, make them eat and talk and fight and so on. Yeah, it sounds weird but it's addicting. To watch and play!) So here's my 10 on Tuesday:
10 things going on with my newest Sim family
1. Sim Guy and Sim Girl do not get along so I had to buy a second bed, the cheaper "spartan" bed and now Sim Girl only gets 2 comfort points at night instead of the 4 she should be getting in the nice sleigh bed Sim Guy won't share!
2. Sim Guy had a good job as a playground supervisor which would have moved him up to substitute teacher soon. And then he overslept, three times. And got fired.
3. Sim Guy likes to nag Sim Girl about the house. Even though it's large and they have a maid and a gardener. Whatever!
4. Sim neighbors tend to come in and eat whatever food is about, a lot! And they have a tendency to stick around when it's time for bed.
5. The only job left in the Sim Times for my Sim Girl is for a pickpocket. I do not want to lead her into a life of crime but the gardener doesn't work for free and she runs out of energy every time she tries to water all the plants around the house herself!
6. Sim Guy has caught the stove on fire twice! And the last time it wouldn't go out and burnt down the stove and the counter next to it. And they could only afford a cheap stove. So less food points every time they try to cook.
7. Sim Guy is too depressed to paint but painting gets him fun points which lead to less depression. It's a vicious cycle!
8. Sim Girl has a hard time focusing on reading, which gets her fun points but she loves to chat with Sim Guy. And she tries hugging him a lot. He lets her but does not seem happy about it.
9. My Sims always pay their bills late. The envelopes turn yellow then red and there are late fees. This is troublesome.
10. My Sims seem to have budgeting issues, much like me. I have $53 left in the checkbook for 10 days....

So there you have it, my 10 on Tuesday. I know, I know, it seems like I have too much time on my hands but I really only played for about an hour and a half. Which in Sim time is like 3 weeks:-) And I don't let myself play much anymore (remember those long nights of Sims Eric? Andrea? Kristin? Ang? Susie????)

Memorial Day

On Friday we had some issues in my classroom. To begin, Miguel decided to talk during the moment of silence after the Pledge of Alligence. So I had to explain, very loudly, to him and the whole class, why we stand up to say the Pledge and why we have that moment. He looked shameful but I'd bet a few bucks he'll do it again. Apparently Angela's class heard my little rant all the way down the hall in her room too!

Then later in the day we were talking about having no school today and Eric says what's Memorial Day? So we had a discussion about all the people who have given their lives for the sake of safety and trying to secure peace in the world. We also talked about all the people serving in the war right now. So at least we had a good talk about it. But I find it hard to believe that my students have made it through over six years of public school without knowing these things. Selective attention I guess.

For me this Memorial Day is different but I can replay ones of past in my mind very vividly and I miss them. I have been having a touch of homesickness this weekend, added to the overwhelmed feeling of having so much work and school responsibilities to keep up with. But I finished week one of my online grad class and am feeling better about that, finally.

Memorial Day for me will always be a cool, usually rainy day in Michigan. We park at Grandma MacDonald's and walk to the parade route. We'll follow the high school band and the VFW cars and the mayor and the brownies and boy scouts into the cemetery. We walk past the graves of my great grandparents and too many friends, young and old. We stop near the lake where a row boat is going into the middle, getting ready to scatter flowers and lay a wreath. I look to the hill at my left, baby land, where my twin brothers are buried under a stone marker, Thomas and Christopher. The flowers are freshly planted and I always have to go brush off the nut casings the squirrels leave there. Just above them lies my mom's baby brother, more flowers.

If I stop I hear the sound of speeches, thanking our veterans, thanking those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. I will see families who lost loved ones in every war anyone here has lived through. I can see the family who lost their son just a few years ago in Iraq. I see the members of the VFW who keep the memory alive. Then I hear that song. Taps. That mournful, heart-wrenching song. If I look around where we stand there are friends, friends we always see here. Families who feel as strongly as we do about the importance of remembering this day. My grandfather served in the Navy, another grandfather and grandmother in the Army , my dad served in the Air Force, my friends are in the Marines and the National Guard. We know how important this is. Then we hear the gun shots. The twenty-one gun salute. It's loud and I wince every single time. But I know I am fortuante to only hear gunshots on this day, in this manner. I can do this because of those women and men who died for our country.

If I look past baby land to the next hill, I see the large stone with the antique cars carved in the front. There lies my grandfather. The little flag flying against his stone marks his status as veteran. There are daffodils and lilies and little purple flowers mixed with snapdragons that we plant just where grandma wants them.

This place, what it represents, is ingrained in me. This weekend I have missed planting the flowers, pulling the weeds, cleaning off the stones, filling the plastic milk jugs with water from the spicket to carry across the road. I have missed that familiar exercise in showing my appreciation and sadness.

I miss it but it's in my heart. It always will be.

Bragging!

It was another good day, marked by the hilarity of Ang carrying the trophy around with her ALL DAY LONG! Yes, all day! It started this morning, we had to walk in the front door of the school, not the usual side door and then we proceeded to travel all around the school with the heavy cup. But it was fun, everyone was happy for us and the kids. And boy were some of the other coaches jealous! That was great:-)
Our golfers were pretty excited too. They popped in randomly today and had giant smiles. I saw J.D. and Keilor, who'd picked up the trophy with us last night, first thing outside with their golf shirts on again. That was pretty cool. And yes, Ang even took the trophy out on bus duty with her. And she was an instant celebrity.
It certainly added levity and brightness to a day full of parents yelling, kids getting in trouble, and a dance that ended up with girl on girl fights among other things.
So yeah, we were braggin' today and it was great!

CRMS Champions!

Today was a good day. A very good day. We had our last golf match of the season and it went well. We had a large cooler of water we wheeled all around the course and handed out. We had parents come and set up lawn chairs to support their kids. We had a perfect 89 degree day with the slightest breeze and bright sun. We had 12 golfers all in uniform having fun on the course. We laughed and teased and took pictures and made great shots (even me in a driving contest with one of the eighth graders - thank goodness I won!). And then the day got even better.

They started counting up the scores and we heard Crane Middle School had ten points on everyone from last week. Good news. Then there was a sudden death playoff for first, second, and third place individual overall champions. And we took first and second! Go Austin and Brett!

Then we waited some more and before I knew it, we were being handed the trophy and crowned Yuma Area Junior Golf Foundation Champions of 2007! Woo hoo! It was pretty exciting. Most of our kids had gone home by then, the match had been over an hour and they don't have much say in how they get home but we had two boys left at the end, Keilor and J.D. (pictured above), and they were estatic to accept the trophy on behalf of their teammates. And I was so proud! I cannot wait to go to school tomorrow and brag on our boys!

So it was a good day, a very good day. And tonight as I sat on the couch, exhausted from an eleven and a half hour day, all I could do was look at that trophy (we didn't want to leave it in the car so it could be stolen!) and smile. What a great feeling!

Things that make you go hmmm....

1) I started my morning off with a parent meeting, my most unfavorite way to start any day. And while bestowing the wrongs of her child onto this mother, I sat there thinking, trying not to judge, that perhaps he is mimicing her behavior and that is why he is getting into trouble. Here's a kid who gets dress coded for his ganster-like dress almost daily. And he gets detentions frequently for chewing gum and lying about it and for having an MP3 player on campus (the gum I can handle, I just make them spit it out, the lying - not so much, and the MP3 player is sore subject at our school). And there sits mom, smacking her gum loudly, talking over teachers, and when her cell phone goes off - the ring is an Eminem song. Yeah. I rest my case.
2) Ang and I got to yoga class early and were excited to get spots on the floor in the corner next to each other (last week the class had 14 and was too crowded, we were all smooshed). Well this older woman comes in and proceeds to tell anyone but us that we're in her spot, not quietly. She also says she hops her gas doesn't bother anyone now that she's not in the corner. Now maybe this was petty but I thought, if she asks us to move, we'll move. But she never approached us directly. She just kept shooting us looks. And set herself and her little fan up next to us. But let me tell you, next time we'll steer clear because she was right about the gas. I guess I am just not one for giving in when people are passive aggressive! However, I think I'll give into her on this one!
3) Why do teachers insist on making students in online, virtual classrooms, work in teams? I hate that! I start my new class tomorrow and already have seen in the syllabus that we have to work on group projects which is tough enough face-to-face, not to mention in virtual land.
4) Why is it that a great movie like Come Early Morning (written and directed by Joey Lauren Adams and starring Ashley Judd) doesn't get onto hardly any movie screens but so much crap makes it into wide-release. I know, I know, one person's crap is another's gold. Anyway, rent this one if you like slice of life films and a family that reminds me a little too much of my own!

Relaxin'

Yes, I finally feel relaxed. I feel destressed and good. It was a very long week, finishing up the grad class, dealing with the dentist (found out an old filling had eroded leaving a space between two teeth with no contact point which causes a great deal of pain whenever I ate anything) twice, managing my ever-increasing management issues at school and finally, ending my Friday afternoon with horribly-behaved children, getting my tooth filled on my lunch hour (and having the Novocaine wear off mid-treatment), and then a parent meeting during class which required me to farm out my children for the last 20 minutes of the day. I needed a break by Friday night.
So we went to a nice new restaurant, an Italian place that had great food, so-so service, and ambiance that made it feel like we were anywhere but in Yuma, which was great. Then I ate a lot of ice cream (low-fat of course) and watched The Pursuit of Happyness. Great movie, very encouraging.
Then yesterday we went to yoga where I worked hard (good), then got a massage (even better), and then a pedicure at this new place that charges seven bucks less than the mall (awesome!); this was all topped off by a few hours reading magazines by the pool and enjoying living in the desert in May. Last night we watched Freedom Writers and I really enjoyed this movie too. It made me ready to go back into work tomorrow and do a better job. To try harder. It also was interesting to see some of my life on screen, the teaching side, the realities of being a public educator. The idea that second and third jobs become necessary to make ends meet, the idea that these kids consume your life, your thoughts, your time. It happens. And I don't think that part of the movie was ficitonalized at all.
The teacher became consumed by her job and I sympathize, it consumes me most days. For eight to ten hours a day you breathe these kids and their lives. Sixty-two lives. I know about their families and their jobs, their brothers and sisters, their illnesses and injuries, their court cases and probabtions, their needs and wants and hates and loves. I see them love each other and hate each other and be sweet and be cruel. I see a lot. And it takes over. It's hard to let that go. It's hard to walk away from that at five o'clock. There is always something more to do. Something more to think about. I worry that they don't tell me the truth about why they're absent. I worry that they'll miss another day for court. I worry that they'll get bullied again tomorrow. I worry that they're cutting themselves. I worry that their parents don't worry. I worry that I can't do more. I worry that he's still failing or that she still can't read any better than she could in August. I worry that they're doing drugs. I worry, I worry, I worry. And that's a lot of stress, 62 little lives.
But this weekend I've managed to put it on a shelf. Sure I haven't forgotten completely, I had a dream about my classroom last night. But that's okay. For now this is my life. And I like that. But this weekend I've gotten to relax. And I am so grateful for that.
Eighteen school days left. It seems like we just started. And to think, I'll have a whole new group of worries come August!

Little Things

It's the little things that get me through the day, those things that make me smile or think or happy to be doing what I do, with the people I do it with. Some examples:
- In X period today (the study hall-like class before lunch) I was reading from our novel Heat to my class that included some kids from another teacher's room who was out sick today. When I finished the chapter which marked the beginning of the story's climax, one kid started applauding and others joined in. I loved that - for the book and for me!
- One of my quiet kids was fiesty today, making funny little asides and being cute. And admitted he felt fiesty. That was great.
- A student bringing in his Scholastic book order and he'd marked the box "gift to teacher" which meant I got $5.95 toward a book purchase! Awesome!
- I actually got to do tutoring during afterschool tutoring today, not just babysitting kids in detention. And we had fun! There were 4 kids, Ang and I, and we laughed a lot, learned math, and worked on poetry terms.
- I had my HR meeting this morning and the HR director I am not a huge fan of was late so I only had to meet with my vice-principal and the HR assistant. It was great!!!
- My kids made awesome gains in writing as of their year-end "My First Year in Middle School" essay - yay!!!
- I made an appointment with my massage therapist this morning, who is now charging 10 dollars less per session!
- One of my girls came back from suspension and ran up all excited to see me and gave me a big hug!
- My friend Shannon got a new job!
- I got into the dentist on very short notice to get a filling replaced tomorrow, and I don't have to take time off work (I am farming my kids out during X period and then missing lunch).
- Tomorrow is Friday. Thank goodness!

Finally feeling right

Today was a payday. It always adds a little something to the day when there's an envelope in your mailbox telling you that your efforts aren't for financial naught. And then tonight when I did some budgeting and paid some bills something awesome happened. There's enough money. Not extra like I'd hoped but there's enough for this week and next.
Last month I paid off my car loan - after 5 long years of $405.94 payments the 23rd of each month. I'd managed to sneak a little extra in these past few months to make sure I got it paid off in time (darn those credit union skip-a-payment offers! So good at the time, so bad at the end of the loan!). And then an amazing thing happened this month, just like the financial guru who's class I took last summer and who's books I poured over said would happen, I was able to apply a large sum (relatively) to my lowest balance credit card! And get just a little closer to paying off the pretty large debt I've accumulated in my lifetime. By my estimates I'll have it paid off Sept/Oct and that leaves just three more cards to go. I am excited!
My secret? I applied the car payment to the credit card just as I would have had to pay the car payment. So I really don't miss the money. And another exciting financial happening - I was able to buy my plane ticket for this summer's vacation with cash! Woohoo!
Speaking of summer vacation - we have five weeks of school left and I might just make it! Then Ang and I fly home to Michigan on Friday, June 15 where we'll reside until Tuesday, July 10 on which day we'll fly to Texas where we'll spend almost a week with the Bricks! Yay for summer vacations!!!!
And on another exciting note - I am just about finished with my online grad class. I posted the final and the group project and I just have to post to the discussion boards this weekend and write a final learning summary once the assignment is posted! Then I'll have a whole week off until the next three week course starts. Three grad credits in three weeks is insane and I would not recommend it to anyone:-) But of course, where there's a will, there's a way!

Blood

Yep, blood. Lots of it. That's the first thing I saw when I raced out of my classroom 5th hour today when I heard a scream. There in the hallway was Angela, 2 other teachers, and one boy with a bloody mouth. And then came another with a bloody face to match. There had been a sub in the room across the hall and one thing led to another and before anyone knew what had happened, there was a fight. And I was charged with marching them down to the office. So I did, telling one who was dripping to put his shirt to his face and listening to the other one who kept asking me if his tooth was broken or if he was bleeding on the outside as well as the inside of his lip. What excitement.
Add this on top of a day that started with me getting a sub report from yesterday listing 15 names. That resulted in 13 detention forms I had to write out, 5 parent phone calls I had to make tonight, and another 7 I had to ask the parent liason to make because I don't speak Spanish. It was a bad day. I was angry, physically exhausted from the anger and frustration. And it came through. Instead of yelling at my students today, I simply showed my disappointment. I didn't smile or laugh or talk to them. I taught them and let them do their work. And they got the hint quickly. Also, I spent a good portion of my day going across and down the hall to the math teacher's classroom who's on my team. She's having serious behavior problems and she can't handle them so I offered to make my prescence known throughout the day. So as my children worked while trying not to breathe (again, they sensed my hostility), I would go stand in the doorway of her room with arms crossed, glaring. And it seemed to work. Yet I really don't like being the hardass. It makes me very tired and very angry.
To top it off we missed yoga (stupid parent phone calls!) and I am still writing papers for my online course. Yet, I was excited a bit today when I started making lesson plans for the next 5 weeks and got to write "LAST DAY OF SCHOOL" on June 14th. I can't wait.

Busy, busy, busy

I am still alive - barely! I am on week 3 of the online class and while it's kicking my butt, I am also kicking some major online class butt!!! So far I have gotten 100% on EVERYTHING! Yes, I am bragging but I really am really proud of doing this and succeeding. And it's giving me encouragement to keep going.
Other than that life is good - I am finally getting rid of my 3rd plague of the school year. And my kids are being really rotten, especially for subs. I've had 2 in the last week, for professional development classes, and they just can't behave. I hate that but I am at a loss as to what to do about it. I think the whole school is at a loss.
Also - we're coming up on the season finale time on TV and there's some good stuff on. I am loving Lost and Grey's and all my favorite shows, when I have time to watch them.
Okay - off to write more papers and my final exam, which has to be at least 10 pages! I cannot wait until June 14, the last day of school for me and the kids!!!
P.S. - Today marks my 200th post! Just thought you'd all like to know:-)

Today was a day

I had forgotten what grad school was like. I'd forgotten the 149 page reading assignments, the endless stream of group project work, the papers to be written not in your own words but cited in APA style from the words that others borrowed from others.
I'm entering week 2 of a 3 week class and it's kicked my butt so far. After this one more 3 week class and I can keep my emergency certification and teach another year here. Yippee! And tomorrow I spend all day in professional development learning about "Structured English Instruction" (I have no idea what this means either).
I am still fighting the plague and have now missed the last 4 yoga classes I'd planned to go to. But I stayed up late tonight writing a junior high/middle school debate paper so I can go tomorrow. We'll see if that happens.
I don't mind school work, in fact, I enjoy it. I love learning and writing and exploring and sharing. But it's rough on top of a demanding 40+ hour a week job. I feel real sympathy for those who do it in addition to children and a husband. It's all I can do to nuke hot dogs for Ang and I.
And yet I contemplate voluntarily going back to school soon. I know right now the idea itself threatens to kill me but there is that part of me that is excited. Possibilities....."I dwell in possibility...."

Happiness Cake

With the turkey burgers still frozen and no ready-made meals in the fridge, Ang decided to make Grandma's homeade waffles tonight. We both aren't feeling great (me = full-blown cold, her = sore throat) and she thought we needed this. So she went through her recipe box and handed me a card for Happiness Cake my mom had snuck in there sometime when she made the box for her.
It includes things like a heafty dose of prayer, 4 cups of self doubt, and spread it on with a smile. This was a good reminder today, especially after a very long Thursday. Not only did I start the day with a power struggle between myself and a rotten eighth grader but then I had a room full of detentions after school. And to top it all off I had to make 2 parent phones calls today and the second one resulted in finding out a kid had forged a parent signature, and he had already gotten detention while in detention today (chewing gum while in detention - brilliant!). And I had to deal with this online class stuff tonight so we missed yoga but anyway, the Happiness Cake recipe reminded me that I do have a lot to be happy about:
- As I was leaving school one of my students who'd recently been suspended was getting picked up after a football game and his mom flagged me down to thank me, I'd been the only teacher who'd supplied him with homework assignments during his suspension like she'd requested. I was happy to tell her she had a good kid and he'd already pulled his grade up to a B. Something to be really happy about.
- I work with some people who watch out for me and have my back when I need it most (like when I forget about bus duty because of all the detentions and then there's a fight out there, on my watch - luckily my team leader knew I had detentions so she was out there, yay!).
- I have an awesome sister who makes me homemade waffles while I get to rest on the couch!
- I have a new baby cousin - Olivia, who I get to visit in July!!!!
- My online class is going pretty well so far even though it's a lot of busy work. My virtual group seems ready to work and my teacher has complimented several of my discussion question answers already!
- My kids are making poetry books and are enjoying it, thus I don't have any discipline problems in class really this week. That makes a huge difference in my day.
- Tomorrow the social studies department at school is throwing a salad bar lunch for the whole staff! Yay for free, healthy lunch!
- I am employed, I am (relatively) healthy, I am loved by many, and I am blessed beyond belief. I guess I have a whole lot to be happy about:-)

What a day!

Something exciting happened this morning, I mailed off my last car payment! Woohoo! Yes, that's right - I now officially own my car after 5 years of payments. It was very exciting! Now I get to apply that whole car payment to all my other debt - even more exciting.
In other news - I took a sick day today. I think my allergies are bad or else I have a cold, I cannot decide. Either way I sound like a 3-pack a day, 80 year old smoker and my throat hurts up into my glands. Lovely.
Also, tonight Ang helped me sort through the first day of my online class. It's three credits in three weeks and it's going to be a lot. But I did the readings and posted my first assignments tonight so we'll see how it goes. I am so glad to have a study buddy!
And I wrote 6500 words of my novel today - very exciting for me!
So here's my top 10 things from my day "off" (I use the term loosely):
10. Working in my pjs for a while and no shoes!
9. Eating lunch when I was hungry, not when X period was over.
8. Listening to music, not the cries of annoying students, hehe.
7. Talking to Jamee and my mom during the day.
6. Lying on my bed and reading for a few minutes of lovely quiet.
5. Fresh strawberries.
4. A comfy desk chair.
3. Making dinner without feeling exhausted.
2. Iced tea and sugar free honey lemon drops.
1. Knowing that of my 62 student, only 3 will be served with referral forms tomorrow for acting up in class when I was gone today. Not a bad percentage.

10 hours

I never sleep for ten hours but last night I did. I woke up this morning with intentions of going to church and then promptly fell right back asleep. I figure I must have needed it as this has been a particularly stressful week:
We finished the AIMS tests on Wednesday, had one semi-normal day of classes, and then had a 2 hour assembly Friday during which I had to play volleyball against my students.
We had our first city-wide golf clinic with real pros and I had to continually tell my students (not the whole team, most are great!) to be quiet and please don't try to hit each other in the head with a 9-iron.
I finally got registered for 2 three-week online courses so that I can keep my emergency certification for next year so I can have a job. This week I get to start with "Introduction to Middle School" which sounds oh-so exciting.
I went to yoga class 3 times and apparently my body has started sending out the toxins and working out all the kinks because by Thursday I was having sharp pains in my shoulder and by Saturday my left hip had given out. Luckily, a not-so-relaxing massage yesterday made me feel better (well Arcy promises I'll feel better soon).
Thirteen of my students were suspended this week. Yes, 13! So my job has become difficult, it's hard to teach them when they're not in the room. Six were for setting off stink bombs, three for concealing a knife, and four were involved in a one fight or another. The sink bombers were all boys, the weapons "experts" were girls and one boy, and then four fighters were all girls. Keeping homework and attendance straight has been a full-time job this week.
Because of the suspensions we're kicking two kids off the golf team, which may help with the behavior problems. If it doesn't, several others will follow suit this week.
Yesterday we went to work about 11am and left after 5pm. There's an attendance audit coming up we had to get ready for and lesson plans and cleaning and it goes on and on.
I am so thankful that we have 8 weeks until our next intercession, 6 weeks off! Woohoo!
So I guess that's why I needed my 10 hours this morning. I finally had to drag my but up to shower so we'd make it to Julie's house at noon for lunch. But I firmly believe that your body lets you know what it needs and today that's exactly what I needed.

It stinks!

Yes, today my job literally stunk. Like rotten eggs and bad farts and nastiness. It's because some of my dear little seventh graders have figured out the age old practice of creating and letting off stink bombs. We've had more than four go off in the past week. But thankfully, none in my room. Today it got close though, the room next door was bombed and we smelled it immediately, it was horrible. After a while I gave in and we marched down to Angela's room and bunked with them for the remainder of the class. What I don't understand is 1.)why and 2.)how? Why let off something that smells so terrible when you know the chances of you getting out of class are extremely low and the chances of you getting caught are extremely high? (We've already had several snitch on today's bomber, and one's a golfer of mine, guess who's benched Wednesday!) The how fascinates me. What goes into a stink bomb? Is it in a canister with a pin? What are the ingredients? I need to do some research or find the vice principal tomorrow - surely he'll know, right?
Beyond that five of my kids are suspended for six days, all good kids. Suspended for concealing a weapon (a nasty looking knife) in school for another kid, who's not so good. I don't understand that either. They all had to go to court today, they'll be lucky if they aren't expelled, they're in a mess of legal and educational trouble. So yeah, that's exciting. Oh and there were two fights at lunch today, all girls, several of whom were also mine. This is why we could manage to bunk with Ang's class in seventh hour, my class of 21 was widdled down to 12 by this afternoon. Amazing. These kids have little concept of right and wrong and consequences and it's so sad. Maybe the girl with the claw marks dug into her face will realize this when she examines the scars. Or maybe not.

Patience

Ah, my old friend patience. I've not had much this week and I am not happy about that. It's been a stressful week. We've come back to school full force after a sixteen-day break and while I know that doesn't sound rough, it is. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Especially because we started taking the AIMS on Wednesday, the big Arizona state-mandated test. We tested Wednesday and Thursday and will continue on next week Tuesday and Wednesday. It's stressful: the waiting, the nervousness. Did I teach them enough, do they remember that a five-paragraph essay needs five paragraphs. Are they using the right pencil? Are they on the right page? So yeah, by the end of the test each day our collective patience was used up.
And yet I still had to teach, and the go to golf practice (in a sandstorm) and then go home and maintain a routine life.
All that got me through yesterday was looking forward to yoga class and "finding my center" and those last fifteen minutes where we get to lie in the dark and put our body to sleep then wake it up. It's blissful! And then we got to the gym and couldn't get in because there were too many people from the apartment complex already there - talk about no patience! I was angry.
But I am working on it. Today God's been testing me during our movie. The movie I've watched three times so far today, Tuck Everlasting - a very good flick, an even better novel. We're watching it in class as a reward for finishing the book so quickly and for surviving two days of the test. But watching what is essentially a dramatic love story with 12 year old boys is really trying my patience. But I keep trying.
We're going to try going to yoga this weekend at a studio in town, it's more expensive but I think it'll be worth it. We also got good news about jury duty so it looks like we can make summer travel plans. And I found out if I complete six weeks of online coursework, I can keep my job for another year so I'll begin that in a few days.
Patience - quiet, steady perseverance. I like this definition I found online. That's what I'm going to strive toward: quiet, steady perseverance. I'll let you know how it goes!

Poetry

In Ms. Knapp's 7th grade language arts class we're studying poetry. We're learning about different types of poems, the language of poetry, reading some very cool poems (our favorites so far - Langston Hughes and Shel Silverstein), and writing our own. Today we did limericks and hate poems, the latter of which confused then excited my students the most. So here's my very own hate poem to share with you all! Try writing your own if the mood strikes!
I hate it when...
the back of my neck hurts after a day of standing/walking (i.e., not lying by the pool but at work).
I stub my toe and it brings tears to my eyes.
Hotmail won't let me see my email.
I trip on the overhead cord in front of my classroom.
I have a plan for my day and then it goes horribly arry.
the lettuce freezes in the fridge.
you go to a meeting and hear someone tell you what you already know.
there are too many people from your apartment complex at the gym where you get a reduced membership and you aren't let into yoga class and it's what you've been looking forward to all day.
I get angry when I know I shouldn't.
I burn the green beans.
my hair looks really good, just in time to go to bed.
we run out of ketchup.
the vcr doesn't record my favorite show.
I can't balance my checkbook.
sand gets in my eyes.
my paycheck doesn't quite cover the bills.
the networks cut a really good drama or comedy in favor of a cheaper reality show.
I buy the wrong thing on itunes by mistake (happens more than you think).
I smudge the polish on my pedicure moments after I've had it done.
--So what would go in your own hate poem???

The many sides of Easter

As I sat in church this morning looking around at the kids in spiffy clothes, the ladies with their hats on, the family members who seemed a little uncomfortable, I got to thinking about all the Easters I've had in my life and how I'm fortunate I grew up with both sides of Easter meshed into one.
First there was the side that required me to get the big pink foamy curlers put into my hair on Saturday night and sleep, uncomfortably, in them all night long and wake up early for the tearing out session that was usually started by mom and ended by dad when mom had to go get dressed or something. Then there was the new dress or new shoes (sandals some years but it was usually too cold to wear them) or occasionally a new hat. This was very important as Easter is about newness. And it was fun to dress up extra special on this day.
Then there was the dying of eggs, which got even more fun the older we got. I especially remember times with cousin Doris who's about 10 years older than me, and the incident which resulted in her having to put her hands on her head and leave them there.
Then there was the Easter baskets that my mom had made us, filled with treats from the Easter bunny. But nothing ever beat the Easter I got a real little brown, lop-eared rabbit in my basket: Charlie! The best Easter present ever. And the story's almost as good: how mom announced to dad that she was getting him for us, how her dad kept him alive over the cold night in the barn, and then the years that he was a part of our family (even being carried, cage and all, downstairs into the basement during tornadoes).
Then there's the other side of Easter - the part that stays with me just as much. The part that rushed back this morning as we sung He Lives and chanted "He is risen indeed!" I am so thankful that my parents gave me both of those Easters growing up. Because while I know the one is full of memories and great family love, the other is Jesus and his gift of eternal love. I could never and can never ask for anything more.

Why I need yoga

Yesterday I sucked it up, paid for another month's gym membership (five whole dollars, I know, quite the splurge!) and went to my first yoga class. And it wasn't bad. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I was able to do a lot more than I thought I might be able to do. Including standing on my head with my feet up on the wall. And almost sitting on my hands. Well, I tried at least. And my favorite part was at the end we got to lie there on our mats in the quiet, dim room listening to the quiet music and our breathing and relax for quite some time. It was heavenly.
And tonight I'm going back because I really do need to relax and breathe and exercise. Mostly because I have no other way to care for myself and I must do it. This morning I tried to go to the doctor. I'd gone for my annual exam in February and had blood tests to get baselines and then it was recommended that I establish care with a primary doc here in town. So I made an appointment (which they called and changed once and which took me 2 months to get) and went this morning. I filled out all the ridiculous forms and sat there and waited. And waited and waited. And after an hour and 40 minutes I told them I had to leave. It was ridiculous. I was so angry. Everyone in the waiting room (and it was quite a large room, the practice has a lot of docs) had come and gone but me. And when I inquired at the hour mark I was told there was still someone ahead of me. And I lost it so I left. I was near tears. And the nurse who I saw briefly when I inquired asked me what I was being seen for and I told her to go over lab test results (which ultimately are for the arthritis I am trying to catch early on in my life) she seemed annoyed and asked if I didn't get a letter about them in the mail because that's how they usually handle those things. So obviously I wasn't a priority and was treated as such. Even though I was about to pay good money to see this doctor. I was furious.
So that's the story of why I need yoga. To calm me down and to take care of myself. At least until I move away from this ridiculous city that pretends to have medical care (don't believe me? See the recent news that Yuma is now considered in a state of medical care emergency by the feds. Lucky us.)
I hope you all have a stress free few moments today and try out a yoga class. I love it!

10 things I love about my parents

I am feeling homesick. Not so much for home but for the people there. The people I have memorized yet sometimes have a hard time remembering. And my parents are the center of that hub called 'home'.

1. They taught me to be responsible, to take care of myself and to dream, to believe I can and should do everything!

2. They have given me more than I've ever needed.

3. They send me packages full of things like my favorite tea, jelly beans, and candles.

4. They encourage me, and are genuinely happy when I am happy. Everyone needs someone like that in their lives and I am thankful I have two of those someones!

5. They love people, they have made our family much bigger than just the bloodlines.

6. They are hard workers. Stuffing envelopes at 10pm on a Sunday night to raise money for charity, working overtime just because it needs to be done, never shying away when something needs to be done.

7. They are not perfect. And that lets me know that's okay. And trust me, I need all the reassuring I can get in this area.

8. They make me laugh.

9. They love to play board games and love to read and love to golf. Three things I've carried with me into adulthood.

10. They taught me the importance of money and budgeting. And as hard as it is, I'm trying to remember what they've taught me.

So thanks for the idea Jamee, and everyone else - what do you love about the person/people you love?

I am so that person...

who checks people's blogs and gets mildly upset when there aren't any updates for days at a time.
And yet here I am, not having updated mine in quite some time. But I was on vacation so that's a reason, no excuse really, but a reason all the same.
So a quick update to be followed by more lengthy blogs soon. Because I am trying to enjoy my last week of spring break and do tons of things all at once.
Palm Springs was wonderful. I felt at peace there, unhurried, relaxed, and slightly fabulous what with the big white robes to wear at the Calla Lily, the cognac served nightly (I didn't like it but I liked the cute little glasses it came in), the dinner at the Chop House where I kept expecting Food Network crews to pop out and steal a close up of my salad, the gorgeous palm trees framed by the snowcapped mountains. It was serene.
Alas, I am back in my real world but it is vacation world. Today I am having my fitting for my crown, I am tres excited. I'd prefer the kind with diamonds on a tiara but I am glad to be rid of tooth pain!
We also have golf practice and I am going to start taking pictures for our yearbook of the team. Should be fun!
Anything new with you?