For him and all the others

Today was a good day in seventh grade. We were writing letters to all of our teachers, we were doing vocabulary puzzles and coloring Mexican art, we were listening to Elvis. And then an email came.
It was from the registrar and told me that one of my students would not be coming back to school after today. His dad is in a coma and not expected to make it. This was a huge surprise to me. Oh yeah, and mom doesn't want him to know it.
This isn't the first time we've gotten one of these phone calls. Just a few weeks ago I found out that another student in the same class was getting ready to move at the end of the year to New Orleans. Because her mother has terminal cancer and her father's going to have to raise her. And oh yeah, mom doesn't want her to know it.
So as I sat there, less than five feet away from this kid today, I couldn't help but think about what was about to happen to him. He's about to lose his father, his life is about to change. He will never be the same. And yet he had no idea.
I did some careful digging and I don't think he realized what I was doing at all. I figured out that his dad was deployed, according to him in Alaska. But he wasn't sure. Mom told him dad got to pick between Alaska and Iraq and dad picked Alaska. But dad works on harriers and I am pretty certain there aren't too many harriers in Alaska right now, since we're at war right now. So that seemed a bit fishy.
So I worked my magic and managed to get him all his end of the year stuff, his writing portfolio and journal to take home without him really realizing what I was doing. I also told him mom wanted him to take his tennis shoes home from his locker and when he told me he didn't have shoes in his locker I replied, "Well take home all the important stuff so then you won't get in trouble." This seemed very reasonable to him and so he cleaned it out before leaving.
But I had to be there, in my class with him, for over an hour, just thinking about what was going on in his life that he didn't even know about. He's thirteen, he's old enough to realize what's going on, to realize the people most important to him have been lying to him. And that's sad to me. I was always grateful for my mom and her opinion that kids should know stuff. She never tried to hide the truth from me. It might hurt and suck but it was out there. And that's how I like it. I want to know things.
As I watched this boy working on his picture of the rumble from The Outsiders, a giant dustball of a fight, I couldn't help but think about how that represents very aptly what's about to happen to him, his world's about to blow up. And today he was having a good day. He can be a withdrawn child, he was one of my golfers but he was moody and didn't always like to work. In fact, his A had dropped to a D this quarter. But he turned in his final project today and was proud of it and he'd gotten his grade back up to a C. In his letter to me he'd written that he was thankful for all I did to help him in class and on the golf team, and when he was on the PGA tour he'd remember me.
So I'll wonder about him tonight and tomorrow. I will most likely never know what ultimately happens to him or his family. It they're military and dad's gone, they'll soon leave I'd imagine. They only got here in the winter from North Carolina. And I'll be sad. For his dad and for all the others. And for this child and all the others.

Quite the surprise!

Monday I headed to lunch and was surprised to find these gorgeous flowers waiting for me in the front office!

They were a gift from my parents and Angela - the card read, "You made it!" And I did. I survived year one as a seventh grade teacher. Well, almost. We have six more days of school but we're almost done. Grades have been figured and put in the computer. The walls are being cleared off, we've finished our class novel and are wrapping up our year-end writing projects. Next week we have assemblies and the Extravaganza and a day of goodbyes.

You know, sometimes it really is the little things that get us through the day. Monday morning I was furious about discipline issues and how things were going that were out of my hands. Then I got these flowers and as I carried them into my fifth hour, my kids asked what they were for and I explained and they clapped and that just made the day all better. And today we had the all district staff celebration after work and it was Hawaiian theme and this morning one of the dear teachers in our building, Mrs. Prickett (along with her ever-present husband, Mr. Prickett) brought me a beautiful lei. It matched my outfit and I immediately put it on. I told my kids I had it on because I am special and I wore it all day and you know what, I did feel special!

The Outsiders

You know those books that you read and you can't put them down? You get so engrossed in the story and the characters and their world that it becomes real to you? The Outsiders was that book for me for the past few weeks.

We have been reading it as a class, well in all of my classes. And reading something three times a day really ingrains it in you. But then I decided to let my kids partner read and I had to catch up at night but I didn't mind. I was lying in my bed crying the night Ponyboy said, "I'm home."

If you haven't read it, go to the library and find the young adult section, do not be embarrassed at all, and get a copy of it. It's written by S.E. Hinton and I am extremely jealous of her, she wrote The Outsiders when she was just 16. I mean seriously, what have I been doing for the past 13 years!?!?!?!

We're going to finish it as a class tomorrow, the last 2 chapters. All year I've been reading the novels right along with the kids, listening to the stories unfold just as they do. And being disappointed when one of them ruins the story or twist for the others and myself. I did hear about the deaths in this book from others, not kids but other teachers and I was disappointed but not surprised. However, this afternoon I finished the book (so I could plan tomorrow's wrap-up activity) and I was so impressed. I smiled as I closed the book. The ending was perfect and I was deeply moved by the story of these brothers.

More and more I am realizing that young adult fiction has a lot to say. A LOT. I can't wait to delve into it some more. And my suggestion is this, if you're looking for some good summer reads, look no further than the young adult section of the library or bookstore. You'll be pleasantly surprised!

Yuma's Creatures

The roadrunner. Until I arrived in Arizona I really didn't believe that they were real, just a foil to Wiley E. Coyote. But here's one, and frankly, they're everywhere. Ang has been trying to catch a picture of one, unsuccessfully, on her camera phone for weeks now at the golf course. Today I snapped this picture during our golf outing to celebrate the championship. (The parade and prime time special come early next month!) It's funny because the kids all know she's been stalking roadrunners and totally call her out on it! But this guy was only one of Yuma's creatures that I encountered today while on the course. I also saw several lizards, small guys who move super fast. And then there were the ants.

Red fire ants. I first came into contact with these horrible creatures in Texas when my feet instantly became covered in them last summer. It happened again today. There I was, standing by the green and boom! My feet were on fire. Now I know, why was I wearing sandals on the golf course? Well I tried not to, in fact I had my socks and golf shoes on before I even got to the course. But this weekend I bought new shoes, fancy, expensive sandals to save my feet the wear and tear my Payless shoes inflict on them. And guess what? They rubbed my feet raw on the tops of my big toes within an hour of putting them on. And I had to continue walking with them for the next eight hours.

So anyway, I managed to find not one, not two, but three hills of fire ants today while on the course, just my lucky day I guess! Thank goodness these were the only wild creatures I saw today.

But it was a good day, as Ang's blog attests. We had a great outing. Nine boys made it and they golfed, we laughed, teased, and had fun. We ate pizza and brownies. Their parents came and sat and talked with us. We gave awards (best effort to get back on the team after getting suspended for failing grades, best team spirit for helping to design the golf shirts, and number one player). And I loved it when one of the new golfers came up to me to return my clubs he'd borrowed to play with and handed me the two balls I'd given him and said, "Ms. Knapp, this ball really worked good for me!" (Yes, I let him keep the ball!)

And then to top it all off like a big bright cherry on a sundae, one of the seventh grade boys who hadn't bought a shirt at the beginning of the season and didn't dress out for the first few weeks (although his identical twin brother bought a shirt right away and wore it to school a lot, go figure!) came running up to me as we were cleaning up. He was clutching a twenty dollar bill and he asked if he could buy the shirt he had been wearing today in the pictures. I got one of those big stupid grins on my face you can't fake and you surely can't stop. This is what it's all about.

10 on Tuesday

This weekend I got a little downtime to play my favorite computer game. I don't play many and occasionally get hooked into some mindless Jewel Qwest (thanks to Mom who fed this addiction at Christmastime with a full CD version!) while listening to podcasts or procrastinating. But this weekend I had the chance to play a little Sims. Yep, I love the Sims. I'm not very good at it but I find it fascinating. (And if you have no idea what the Sims are here's a little intro: you create and control "Sims" or people, you get them jobs, build their homes, make them eat and talk and fight and so on. Yeah, it sounds weird but it's addicting. To watch and play!) So here's my 10 on Tuesday:
10 things going on with my newest Sim family
1. Sim Guy and Sim Girl do not get along so I had to buy a second bed, the cheaper "spartan" bed and now Sim Girl only gets 2 comfort points at night instead of the 4 she should be getting in the nice sleigh bed Sim Guy won't share!
2. Sim Guy had a good job as a playground supervisor which would have moved him up to substitute teacher soon. And then he overslept, three times. And got fired.
3. Sim Guy likes to nag Sim Girl about the house. Even though it's large and they have a maid and a gardener. Whatever!
4. Sim neighbors tend to come in and eat whatever food is about, a lot! And they have a tendency to stick around when it's time for bed.
5. The only job left in the Sim Times for my Sim Girl is for a pickpocket. I do not want to lead her into a life of crime but the gardener doesn't work for free and she runs out of energy every time she tries to water all the plants around the house herself!
6. Sim Guy has caught the stove on fire twice! And the last time it wouldn't go out and burnt down the stove and the counter next to it. And they could only afford a cheap stove. So less food points every time they try to cook.
7. Sim Guy is too depressed to paint but painting gets him fun points which lead to less depression. It's a vicious cycle!
8. Sim Girl has a hard time focusing on reading, which gets her fun points but she loves to chat with Sim Guy. And she tries hugging him a lot. He lets her but does not seem happy about it.
9. My Sims always pay their bills late. The envelopes turn yellow then red and there are late fees. This is troublesome.
10. My Sims seem to have budgeting issues, much like me. I have $53 left in the checkbook for 10 days....

So there you have it, my 10 on Tuesday. I know, I know, it seems like I have too much time on my hands but I really only played for about an hour and a half. Which in Sim time is like 3 weeks:-) And I don't let myself play much anymore (remember those long nights of Sims Eric? Andrea? Kristin? Ang? Susie????)

Memorial Day

On Friday we had some issues in my classroom. To begin, Miguel decided to talk during the moment of silence after the Pledge of Alligence. So I had to explain, very loudly, to him and the whole class, why we stand up to say the Pledge and why we have that moment. He looked shameful but I'd bet a few bucks he'll do it again. Apparently Angela's class heard my little rant all the way down the hall in her room too!

Then later in the day we were talking about having no school today and Eric says what's Memorial Day? So we had a discussion about all the people who have given their lives for the sake of safety and trying to secure peace in the world. We also talked about all the people serving in the war right now. So at least we had a good talk about it. But I find it hard to believe that my students have made it through over six years of public school without knowing these things. Selective attention I guess.

For me this Memorial Day is different but I can replay ones of past in my mind very vividly and I miss them. I have been having a touch of homesickness this weekend, added to the overwhelmed feeling of having so much work and school responsibilities to keep up with. But I finished week one of my online grad class and am feeling better about that, finally.

Memorial Day for me will always be a cool, usually rainy day in Michigan. We park at Grandma MacDonald's and walk to the parade route. We'll follow the high school band and the VFW cars and the mayor and the brownies and boy scouts into the cemetery. We walk past the graves of my great grandparents and too many friends, young and old. We stop near the lake where a row boat is going into the middle, getting ready to scatter flowers and lay a wreath. I look to the hill at my left, baby land, where my twin brothers are buried under a stone marker, Thomas and Christopher. The flowers are freshly planted and I always have to go brush off the nut casings the squirrels leave there. Just above them lies my mom's baby brother, more flowers.

If I stop I hear the sound of speeches, thanking our veterans, thanking those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. I will see families who lost loved ones in every war anyone here has lived through. I can see the family who lost their son just a few years ago in Iraq. I see the members of the VFW who keep the memory alive. Then I hear that song. Taps. That mournful, heart-wrenching song. If I look around where we stand there are friends, friends we always see here. Families who feel as strongly as we do about the importance of remembering this day. My grandfather served in the Navy, another grandfather and grandmother in the Army , my dad served in the Air Force, my friends are in the Marines and the National Guard. We know how important this is. Then we hear the gun shots. The twenty-one gun salute. It's loud and I wince every single time. But I know I am fortuante to only hear gunshots on this day, in this manner. I can do this because of those women and men who died for our country.

If I look past baby land to the next hill, I see the large stone with the antique cars carved in the front. There lies my grandfather. The little flag flying against his stone marks his status as veteran. There are daffodils and lilies and little purple flowers mixed with snapdragons that we plant just where grandma wants them.

This place, what it represents, is ingrained in me. This weekend I have missed planting the flowers, pulling the weeds, cleaning off the stones, filling the plastic milk jugs with water from the spicket to carry across the road. I have missed that familiar exercise in showing my appreciation and sadness.

I miss it but it's in my heart. It always will be.

Bragging!

It was another good day, marked by the hilarity of Ang carrying the trophy around with her ALL DAY LONG! Yes, all day! It started this morning, we had to walk in the front door of the school, not the usual side door and then we proceeded to travel all around the school with the heavy cup. But it was fun, everyone was happy for us and the kids. And boy were some of the other coaches jealous! That was great:-)
Our golfers were pretty excited too. They popped in randomly today and had giant smiles. I saw J.D. and Keilor, who'd picked up the trophy with us last night, first thing outside with their golf shirts on again. That was pretty cool. And yes, Ang even took the trophy out on bus duty with her. And she was an instant celebrity.
It certainly added levity and brightness to a day full of parents yelling, kids getting in trouble, and a dance that ended up with girl on girl fights among other things.
So yeah, we were braggin' today and it was great!

CRMS Champions!

Today was a good day. A very good day. We had our last golf match of the season and it went well. We had a large cooler of water we wheeled all around the course and handed out. We had parents come and set up lawn chairs to support their kids. We had a perfect 89 degree day with the slightest breeze and bright sun. We had 12 golfers all in uniform having fun on the course. We laughed and teased and took pictures and made great shots (even me in a driving contest with one of the eighth graders - thank goodness I won!). And then the day got even better.

They started counting up the scores and we heard Crane Middle School had ten points on everyone from last week. Good news. Then there was a sudden death playoff for first, second, and third place individual overall champions. And we took first and second! Go Austin and Brett!

Then we waited some more and before I knew it, we were being handed the trophy and crowned Yuma Area Junior Golf Foundation Champions of 2007! Woo hoo! It was pretty exciting. Most of our kids had gone home by then, the match had been over an hour and they don't have much say in how they get home but we had two boys left at the end, Keilor and J.D. (pictured above), and they were estatic to accept the trophy on behalf of their teammates. And I was so proud! I cannot wait to go to school tomorrow and brag on our boys!

So it was a good day, a very good day. And tonight as I sat on the couch, exhausted from an eleven and a half hour day, all I could do was look at that trophy (we didn't want to leave it in the car so it could be stolen!) and smile. What a great feeling!

Things that make you go hmmm....

1) I started my morning off with a parent meeting, my most unfavorite way to start any day. And while bestowing the wrongs of her child onto this mother, I sat there thinking, trying not to judge, that perhaps he is mimicing her behavior and that is why he is getting into trouble. Here's a kid who gets dress coded for his ganster-like dress almost daily. And he gets detentions frequently for chewing gum and lying about it and for having an MP3 player on campus (the gum I can handle, I just make them spit it out, the lying - not so much, and the MP3 player is sore subject at our school). And there sits mom, smacking her gum loudly, talking over teachers, and when her cell phone goes off - the ring is an Eminem song. Yeah. I rest my case.
2) Ang and I got to yoga class early and were excited to get spots on the floor in the corner next to each other (last week the class had 14 and was too crowded, we were all smooshed). Well this older woman comes in and proceeds to tell anyone but us that we're in her spot, not quietly. She also says she hops her gas doesn't bother anyone now that she's not in the corner. Now maybe this was petty but I thought, if she asks us to move, we'll move. But she never approached us directly. She just kept shooting us looks. And set herself and her little fan up next to us. But let me tell you, next time we'll steer clear because she was right about the gas. I guess I am just not one for giving in when people are passive aggressive! However, I think I'll give into her on this one!
3) Why do teachers insist on making students in online, virtual classrooms, work in teams? I hate that! I start my new class tomorrow and already have seen in the syllabus that we have to work on group projects which is tough enough face-to-face, not to mention in virtual land.
4) Why is it that a great movie like Come Early Morning (written and directed by Joey Lauren Adams and starring Ashley Judd) doesn't get onto hardly any movie screens but so much crap makes it into wide-release. I know, I know, one person's crap is another's gold. Anyway, rent this one if you like slice of life films and a family that reminds me a little too much of my own!

Relaxin'

Yes, I finally feel relaxed. I feel destressed and good. It was a very long week, finishing up the grad class, dealing with the dentist (found out an old filling had eroded leaving a space between two teeth with no contact point which causes a great deal of pain whenever I ate anything) twice, managing my ever-increasing management issues at school and finally, ending my Friday afternoon with horribly-behaved children, getting my tooth filled on my lunch hour (and having the Novocaine wear off mid-treatment), and then a parent meeting during class which required me to farm out my children for the last 20 minutes of the day. I needed a break by Friday night.
So we went to a nice new restaurant, an Italian place that had great food, so-so service, and ambiance that made it feel like we were anywhere but in Yuma, which was great. Then I ate a lot of ice cream (low-fat of course) and watched The Pursuit of Happyness. Great movie, very encouraging.
Then yesterday we went to yoga where I worked hard (good), then got a massage (even better), and then a pedicure at this new place that charges seven bucks less than the mall (awesome!); this was all topped off by a few hours reading magazines by the pool and enjoying living in the desert in May. Last night we watched Freedom Writers and I really enjoyed this movie too. It made me ready to go back into work tomorrow and do a better job. To try harder. It also was interesting to see some of my life on screen, the teaching side, the realities of being a public educator. The idea that second and third jobs become necessary to make ends meet, the idea that these kids consume your life, your thoughts, your time. It happens. And I don't think that part of the movie was ficitonalized at all.
The teacher became consumed by her job and I sympathize, it consumes me most days. For eight to ten hours a day you breathe these kids and their lives. Sixty-two lives. I know about their families and their jobs, their brothers and sisters, their illnesses and injuries, their court cases and probabtions, their needs and wants and hates and loves. I see them love each other and hate each other and be sweet and be cruel. I see a lot. And it takes over. It's hard to let that go. It's hard to walk away from that at five o'clock. There is always something more to do. Something more to think about. I worry that they don't tell me the truth about why they're absent. I worry that they'll miss another day for court. I worry that they'll get bullied again tomorrow. I worry that they're cutting themselves. I worry that their parents don't worry. I worry that I can't do more. I worry that he's still failing or that she still can't read any better than she could in August. I worry that they're doing drugs. I worry, I worry, I worry. And that's a lot of stress, 62 little lives.
But this weekend I've managed to put it on a shelf. Sure I haven't forgotten completely, I had a dream about my classroom last night. But that's okay. For now this is my life. And I like that. But this weekend I've gotten to relax. And I am so grateful for that.
Eighteen school days left. It seems like we just started. And to think, I'll have a whole new group of worries come August!

Little Things

It's the little things that get me through the day, those things that make me smile or think or happy to be doing what I do, with the people I do it with. Some examples:
- In X period today (the study hall-like class before lunch) I was reading from our novel Heat to my class that included some kids from another teacher's room who was out sick today. When I finished the chapter which marked the beginning of the story's climax, one kid started applauding and others joined in. I loved that - for the book and for me!
- One of my quiet kids was fiesty today, making funny little asides and being cute. And admitted he felt fiesty. That was great.
- A student bringing in his Scholastic book order and he'd marked the box "gift to teacher" which meant I got $5.95 toward a book purchase! Awesome!
- I actually got to do tutoring during afterschool tutoring today, not just babysitting kids in detention. And we had fun! There were 4 kids, Ang and I, and we laughed a lot, learned math, and worked on poetry terms.
- I had my HR meeting this morning and the HR director I am not a huge fan of was late so I only had to meet with my vice-principal and the HR assistant. It was great!!!
- My kids made awesome gains in writing as of their year-end "My First Year in Middle School" essay - yay!!!
- I made an appointment with my massage therapist this morning, who is now charging 10 dollars less per session!
- One of my girls came back from suspension and ran up all excited to see me and gave me a big hug!
- My friend Shannon got a new job!
- I got into the dentist on very short notice to get a filling replaced tomorrow, and I don't have to take time off work (I am farming my kids out during X period and then missing lunch).
- Tomorrow is Friday. Thank goodness!

Finally feeling right

Today was a payday. It always adds a little something to the day when there's an envelope in your mailbox telling you that your efforts aren't for financial naught. And then tonight when I did some budgeting and paid some bills something awesome happened. There's enough money. Not extra like I'd hoped but there's enough for this week and next.
Last month I paid off my car loan - after 5 long years of $405.94 payments the 23rd of each month. I'd managed to sneak a little extra in these past few months to make sure I got it paid off in time (darn those credit union skip-a-payment offers! So good at the time, so bad at the end of the loan!). And then an amazing thing happened this month, just like the financial guru who's class I took last summer and who's books I poured over said would happen, I was able to apply a large sum (relatively) to my lowest balance credit card! And get just a little closer to paying off the pretty large debt I've accumulated in my lifetime. By my estimates I'll have it paid off Sept/Oct and that leaves just three more cards to go. I am excited!
My secret? I applied the car payment to the credit card just as I would have had to pay the car payment. So I really don't miss the money. And another exciting financial happening - I was able to buy my plane ticket for this summer's vacation with cash! Woohoo!
Speaking of summer vacation - we have five weeks of school left and I might just make it! Then Ang and I fly home to Michigan on Friday, June 15 where we'll reside until Tuesday, July 10 on which day we'll fly to Texas where we'll spend almost a week with the Bricks! Yay for summer vacations!!!!
And on another exciting note - I am just about finished with my online grad class. I posted the final and the group project and I just have to post to the discussion boards this weekend and write a final learning summary once the assignment is posted! Then I'll have a whole week off until the next three week course starts. Three grad credits in three weeks is insane and I would not recommend it to anyone:-) But of course, where there's a will, there's a way!

Blood

Yep, blood. Lots of it. That's the first thing I saw when I raced out of my classroom 5th hour today when I heard a scream. There in the hallway was Angela, 2 other teachers, and one boy with a bloody mouth. And then came another with a bloody face to match. There had been a sub in the room across the hall and one thing led to another and before anyone knew what had happened, there was a fight. And I was charged with marching them down to the office. So I did, telling one who was dripping to put his shirt to his face and listening to the other one who kept asking me if his tooth was broken or if he was bleeding on the outside as well as the inside of his lip. What excitement.
Add this on top of a day that started with me getting a sub report from yesterday listing 15 names. That resulted in 13 detention forms I had to write out, 5 parent phone calls I had to make tonight, and another 7 I had to ask the parent liason to make because I don't speak Spanish. It was a bad day. I was angry, physically exhausted from the anger and frustration. And it came through. Instead of yelling at my students today, I simply showed my disappointment. I didn't smile or laugh or talk to them. I taught them and let them do their work. And they got the hint quickly. Also, I spent a good portion of my day going across and down the hall to the math teacher's classroom who's on my team. She's having serious behavior problems and she can't handle them so I offered to make my prescence known throughout the day. So as my children worked while trying not to breathe (again, they sensed my hostility), I would go stand in the doorway of her room with arms crossed, glaring. And it seemed to work. Yet I really don't like being the hardass. It makes me very tired and very angry.
To top it off we missed yoga (stupid parent phone calls!) and I am still writing papers for my online course. Yet, I was excited a bit today when I started making lesson plans for the next 5 weeks and got to write "LAST DAY OF SCHOOL" on June 14th. I can't wait.

Busy, busy, busy

I am still alive - barely! I am on week 3 of the online class and while it's kicking my butt, I am also kicking some major online class butt!!! So far I have gotten 100% on EVERYTHING! Yes, I am bragging but I really am really proud of doing this and succeeding. And it's giving me encouragement to keep going.
Other than that life is good - I am finally getting rid of my 3rd plague of the school year. And my kids are being really rotten, especially for subs. I've had 2 in the last week, for professional development classes, and they just can't behave. I hate that but I am at a loss as to what to do about it. I think the whole school is at a loss.
Also - we're coming up on the season finale time on TV and there's some good stuff on. I am loving Lost and Grey's and all my favorite shows, when I have time to watch them.
Okay - off to write more papers and my final exam, which has to be at least 10 pages! I cannot wait until June 14, the last day of school for me and the kids!!!
P.S. - Today marks my 200th post! Just thought you'd all like to know:-)

Today was a day

I had forgotten what grad school was like. I'd forgotten the 149 page reading assignments, the endless stream of group project work, the papers to be written not in your own words but cited in APA style from the words that others borrowed from others.
I'm entering week 2 of a 3 week class and it's kicked my butt so far. After this one more 3 week class and I can keep my emergency certification and teach another year here. Yippee! And tomorrow I spend all day in professional development learning about "Structured English Instruction" (I have no idea what this means either).
I am still fighting the plague and have now missed the last 4 yoga classes I'd planned to go to. But I stayed up late tonight writing a junior high/middle school debate paper so I can go tomorrow. We'll see if that happens.
I don't mind school work, in fact, I enjoy it. I love learning and writing and exploring and sharing. But it's rough on top of a demanding 40+ hour a week job. I feel real sympathy for those who do it in addition to children and a husband. It's all I can do to nuke hot dogs for Ang and I.
And yet I contemplate voluntarily going back to school soon. I know right now the idea itself threatens to kill me but there is that part of me that is excited. Possibilities....."I dwell in possibility...."

Happiness Cake

With the turkey burgers still frozen and no ready-made meals in the fridge, Ang decided to make Grandma's homeade waffles tonight. We both aren't feeling great (me = full-blown cold, her = sore throat) and she thought we needed this. So she went through her recipe box and handed me a card for Happiness Cake my mom had snuck in there sometime when she made the box for her.
It includes things like a heafty dose of prayer, 4 cups of self doubt, and spread it on with a smile. This was a good reminder today, especially after a very long Thursday. Not only did I start the day with a power struggle between myself and a rotten eighth grader but then I had a room full of detentions after school. And to top it all off I had to make 2 parent phones calls today and the second one resulted in finding out a kid had forged a parent signature, and he had already gotten detention while in detention today (chewing gum while in detention - brilliant!). And I had to deal with this online class stuff tonight so we missed yoga but anyway, the Happiness Cake recipe reminded me that I do have a lot to be happy about:
- As I was leaving school one of my students who'd recently been suspended was getting picked up after a football game and his mom flagged me down to thank me, I'd been the only teacher who'd supplied him with homework assignments during his suspension like she'd requested. I was happy to tell her she had a good kid and he'd already pulled his grade up to a B. Something to be really happy about.
- I work with some people who watch out for me and have my back when I need it most (like when I forget about bus duty because of all the detentions and then there's a fight out there, on my watch - luckily my team leader knew I had detentions so she was out there, yay!).
- I have an awesome sister who makes me homemade waffles while I get to rest on the couch!
- I have a new baby cousin - Olivia, who I get to visit in July!!!!
- My online class is going pretty well so far even though it's a lot of busy work. My virtual group seems ready to work and my teacher has complimented several of my discussion question answers already!
- My kids are making poetry books and are enjoying it, thus I don't have any discipline problems in class really this week. That makes a huge difference in my day.
- Tomorrow the social studies department at school is throwing a salad bar lunch for the whole staff! Yay for free, healthy lunch!
- I am employed, I am (relatively) healthy, I am loved by many, and I am blessed beyond belief. I guess I have a whole lot to be happy about:-)

What a day!

Something exciting happened this morning, I mailed off my last car payment! Woohoo! Yes, that's right - I now officially own my car after 5 years of payments. It was very exciting! Now I get to apply that whole car payment to all my other debt - even more exciting.
In other news - I took a sick day today. I think my allergies are bad or else I have a cold, I cannot decide. Either way I sound like a 3-pack a day, 80 year old smoker and my throat hurts up into my glands. Lovely.
Also, tonight Ang helped me sort through the first day of my online class. It's three credits in three weeks and it's going to be a lot. But I did the readings and posted my first assignments tonight so we'll see how it goes. I am so glad to have a study buddy!
And I wrote 6500 words of my novel today - very exciting for me!
So here's my top 10 things from my day "off" (I use the term loosely):
10. Working in my pjs for a while and no shoes!
9. Eating lunch when I was hungry, not when X period was over.
8. Listening to music, not the cries of annoying students, hehe.
7. Talking to Jamee and my mom during the day.
6. Lying on my bed and reading for a few minutes of lovely quiet.
5. Fresh strawberries.
4. A comfy desk chair.
3. Making dinner without feeling exhausted.
2. Iced tea and sugar free honey lemon drops.
1. Knowing that of my 62 student, only 3 will be served with referral forms tomorrow for acting up in class when I was gone today. Not a bad percentage.

10 hours

I never sleep for ten hours but last night I did. I woke up this morning with intentions of going to church and then promptly fell right back asleep. I figure I must have needed it as this has been a particularly stressful week:
We finished the AIMS tests on Wednesday, had one semi-normal day of classes, and then had a 2 hour assembly Friday during which I had to play volleyball against my students.
We had our first city-wide golf clinic with real pros and I had to continually tell my students (not the whole team, most are great!) to be quiet and please don't try to hit each other in the head with a 9-iron.
I finally got registered for 2 three-week online courses so that I can keep my emergency certification for next year so I can have a job. This week I get to start with "Introduction to Middle School" which sounds oh-so exciting.
I went to yoga class 3 times and apparently my body has started sending out the toxins and working out all the kinks because by Thursday I was having sharp pains in my shoulder and by Saturday my left hip had given out. Luckily, a not-so-relaxing massage yesterday made me feel better (well Arcy promises I'll feel better soon).
Thirteen of my students were suspended this week. Yes, 13! So my job has become difficult, it's hard to teach them when they're not in the room. Six were for setting off stink bombs, three for concealing a knife, and four were involved in a one fight or another. The sink bombers were all boys, the weapons "experts" were girls and one boy, and then four fighters were all girls. Keeping homework and attendance straight has been a full-time job this week.
Because of the suspensions we're kicking two kids off the golf team, which may help with the behavior problems. If it doesn't, several others will follow suit this week.
Yesterday we went to work about 11am and left after 5pm. There's an attendance audit coming up we had to get ready for and lesson plans and cleaning and it goes on and on.
I am so thankful that we have 8 weeks until our next intercession, 6 weeks off! Woohoo!
So I guess that's why I needed my 10 hours this morning. I finally had to drag my but up to shower so we'd make it to Julie's house at noon for lunch. But I firmly believe that your body lets you know what it needs and today that's exactly what I needed.

It stinks!

Yes, today my job literally stunk. Like rotten eggs and bad farts and nastiness. It's because some of my dear little seventh graders have figured out the age old practice of creating and letting off stink bombs. We've had more than four go off in the past week. But thankfully, none in my room. Today it got close though, the room next door was bombed and we smelled it immediately, it was horrible. After a while I gave in and we marched down to Angela's room and bunked with them for the remainder of the class. What I don't understand is 1.)why and 2.)how? Why let off something that smells so terrible when you know the chances of you getting out of class are extremely low and the chances of you getting caught are extremely high? (We've already had several snitch on today's bomber, and one's a golfer of mine, guess who's benched Wednesday!) The how fascinates me. What goes into a stink bomb? Is it in a canister with a pin? What are the ingredients? I need to do some research or find the vice principal tomorrow - surely he'll know, right?
Beyond that five of my kids are suspended for six days, all good kids. Suspended for concealing a weapon (a nasty looking knife) in school for another kid, who's not so good. I don't understand that either. They all had to go to court today, they'll be lucky if they aren't expelled, they're in a mess of legal and educational trouble. So yeah, that's exciting. Oh and there were two fights at lunch today, all girls, several of whom were also mine. This is why we could manage to bunk with Ang's class in seventh hour, my class of 21 was widdled down to 12 by this afternoon. Amazing. These kids have little concept of right and wrong and consequences and it's so sad. Maybe the girl with the claw marks dug into her face will realize this when she examines the scars. Or maybe not.

Patience

Ah, my old friend patience. I've not had much this week and I am not happy about that. It's been a stressful week. We've come back to school full force after a sixteen-day break and while I know that doesn't sound rough, it is. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Especially because we started taking the AIMS on Wednesday, the big Arizona state-mandated test. We tested Wednesday and Thursday and will continue on next week Tuesday and Wednesday. It's stressful: the waiting, the nervousness. Did I teach them enough, do they remember that a five-paragraph essay needs five paragraphs. Are they using the right pencil? Are they on the right page? So yeah, by the end of the test each day our collective patience was used up.
And yet I still had to teach, and the go to golf practice (in a sandstorm) and then go home and maintain a routine life.
All that got me through yesterday was looking forward to yoga class and "finding my center" and those last fifteen minutes where we get to lie in the dark and put our body to sleep then wake it up. It's blissful! And then we got to the gym and couldn't get in because there were too many people from the apartment complex already there - talk about no patience! I was angry.
But I am working on it. Today God's been testing me during our movie. The movie I've watched three times so far today, Tuck Everlasting - a very good flick, an even better novel. We're watching it in class as a reward for finishing the book so quickly and for surviving two days of the test. But watching what is essentially a dramatic love story with 12 year old boys is really trying my patience. But I keep trying.
We're going to try going to yoga this weekend at a studio in town, it's more expensive but I think it'll be worth it. We also got good news about jury duty so it looks like we can make summer travel plans. And I found out if I complete six weeks of online coursework, I can keep my job for another year so I'll begin that in a few days.
Patience - quiet, steady perseverance. I like this definition I found online. That's what I'm going to strive toward: quiet, steady perseverance. I'll let you know how it goes!

Poetry

In Ms. Knapp's 7th grade language arts class we're studying poetry. We're learning about different types of poems, the language of poetry, reading some very cool poems (our favorites so far - Langston Hughes and Shel Silverstein), and writing our own. Today we did limericks and hate poems, the latter of which confused then excited my students the most. So here's my very own hate poem to share with you all! Try writing your own if the mood strikes!
I hate it when...
the back of my neck hurts after a day of standing/walking (i.e., not lying by the pool but at work).
I stub my toe and it brings tears to my eyes.
Hotmail won't let me see my email.
I trip on the overhead cord in front of my classroom.
I have a plan for my day and then it goes horribly arry.
the lettuce freezes in the fridge.
you go to a meeting and hear someone tell you what you already know.
there are too many people from your apartment complex at the gym where you get a reduced membership and you aren't let into yoga class and it's what you've been looking forward to all day.
I get angry when I know I shouldn't.
I burn the green beans.
my hair looks really good, just in time to go to bed.
we run out of ketchup.
the vcr doesn't record my favorite show.
I can't balance my checkbook.
sand gets in my eyes.
my paycheck doesn't quite cover the bills.
the networks cut a really good drama or comedy in favor of a cheaper reality show.
I buy the wrong thing on itunes by mistake (happens more than you think).
I smudge the polish on my pedicure moments after I've had it done.
--So what would go in your own hate poem???

The many sides of Easter

As I sat in church this morning looking around at the kids in spiffy clothes, the ladies with their hats on, the family members who seemed a little uncomfortable, I got to thinking about all the Easters I've had in my life and how I'm fortunate I grew up with both sides of Easter meshed into one.
First there was the side that required me to get the big pink foamy curlers put into my hair on Saturday night and sleep, uncomfortably, in them all night long and wake up early for the tearing out session that was usually started by mom and ended by dad when mom had to go get dressed or something. Then there was the new dress or new shoes (sandals some years but it was usually too cold to wear them) or occasionally a new hat. This was very important as Easter is about newness. And it was fun to dress up extra special on this day.
Then there was the dying of eggs, which got even more fun the older we got. I especially remember times with cousin Doris who's about 10 years older than me, and the incident which resulted in her having to put her hands on her head and leave them there.
Then there was the Easter baskets that my mom had made us, filled with treats from the Easter bunny. But nothing ever beat the Easter I got a real little brown, lop-eared rabbit in my basket: Charlie! The best Easter present ever. And the story's almost as good: how mom announced to dad that she was getting him for us, how her dad kept him alive over the cold night in the barn, and then the years that he was a part of our family (even being carried, cage and all, downstairs into the basement during tornadoes).
Then there's the other side of Easter - the part that stays with me just as much. The part that rushed back this morning as we sung He Lives and chanted "He is risen indeed!" I am so thankful that my parents gave me both of those Easters growing up. Because while I know the one is full of memories and great family love, the other is Jesus and his gift of eternal love. I could never and can never ask for anything more.

Why I need yoga

Yesterday I sucked it up, paid for another month's gym membership (five whole dollars, I know, quite the splurge!) and went to my first yoga class. And it wasn't bad. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I was able to do a lot more than I thought I might be able to do. Including standing on my head with my feet up on the wall. And almost sitting on my hands. Well, I tried at least. And my favorite part was at the end we got to lie there on our mats in the quiet, dim room listening to the quiet music and our breathing and relax for quite some time. It was heavenly.
And tonight I'm going back because I really do need to relax and breathe and exercise. Mostly because I have no other way to care for myself and I must do it. This morning I tried to go to the doctor. I'd gone for my annual exam in February and had blood tests to get baselines and then it was recommended that I establish care with a primary doc here in town. So I made an appointment (which they called and changed once and which took me 2 months to get) and went this morning. I filled out all the ridiculous forms and sat there and waited. And waited and waited. And after an hour and 40 minutes I told them I had to leave. It was ridiculous. I was so angry. Everyone in the waiting room (and it was quite a large room, the practice has a lot of docs) had come and gone but me. And when I inquired at the hour mark I was told there was still someone ahead of me. And I lost it so I left. I was near tears. And the nurse who I saw briefly when I inquired asked me what I was being seen for and I told her to go over lab test results (which ultimately are for the arthritis I am trying to catch early on in my life) she seemed annoyed and asked if I didn't get a letter about them in the mail because that's how they usually handle those things. So obviously I wasn't a priority and was treated as such. Even though I was about to pay good money to see this doctor. I was furious.
So that's the story of why I need yoga. To calm me down and to take care of myself. At least until I move away from this ridiculous city that pretends to have medical care (don't believe me? See the recent news that Yuma is now considered in a state of medical care emergency by the feds. Lucky us.)
I hope you all have a stress free few moments today and try out a yoga class. I love it!

10 things I love about my parents

I am feeling homesick. Not so much for home but for the people there. The people I have memorized yet sometimes have a hard time remembering. And my parents are the center of that hub called 'home'.

1. They taught me to be responsible, to take care of myself and to dream, to believe I can and should do everything!

2. They have given me more than I've ever needed.

3. They send me packages full of things like my favorite tea, jelly beans, and candles.

4. They encourage me, and are genuinely happy when I am happy. Everyone needs someone like that in their lives and I am thankful I have two of those someones!

5. They love people, they have made our family much bigger than just the bloodlines.

6. They are hard workers. Stuffing envelopes at 10pm on a Sunday night to raise money for charity, working overtime just because it needs to be done, never shying away when something needs to be done.

7. They are not perfect. And that lets me know that's okay. And trust me, I need all the reassuring I can get in this area.

8. They make me laugh.

9. They love to play board games and love to read and love to golf. Three things I've carried with me into adulthood.

10. They taught me the importance of money and budgeting. And as hard as it is, I'm trying to remember what they've taught me.

So thanks for the idea Jamee, and everyone else - what do you love about the person/people you love?

I am so that person...

who checks people's blogs and gets mildly upset when there aren't any updates for days at a time.
And yet here I am, not having updated mine in quite some time. But I was on vacation so that's a reason, no excuse really, but a reason all the same.
So a quick update to be followed by more lengthy blogs soon. Because I am trying to enjoy my last week of spring break and do tons of things all at once.
Palm Springs was wonderful. I felt at peace there, unhurried, relaxed, and slightly fabulous what with the big white robes to wear at the Calla Lily, the cognac served nightly (I didn't like it but I liked the cute little glasses it came in), the dinner at the Chop House where I kept expecting Food Network crews to pop out and steal a close up of my salad, the gorgeous palm trees framed by the snowcapped mountains. It was serene.
Alas, I am back in my real world but it is vacation world. Today I am having my fitting for my crown, I am tres excited. I'd prefer the kind with diamonds on a tiara but I am glad to be rid of tooth pain!
We also have golf practice and I am going to start taking pictures for our yearbook of the team. Should be fun!
Anything new with you?

10 on Tuesday

10 things I learned yesterday
1. Seventh grade boys can listen to directions and not kill each other with golf clubs and non-wiffle balls. Golf practice went so well at the course yesterday, we were excited. We had 11 boys come out!
2. You have 90 days to return things to Target, even if you have no original packaging (returned the iPod car adaptor I bought in December because it's on the fritz and the good news was I got 92 bucks back, bought a new, better one for 50 and had money left over to get a 30 dollar itunes gift card for myself! Yay!)
3. Corn tastes different when it's made by a grandma (we had dinner last night at the Clums' house, they winter here and spend the rest of their time in Howell and they've become our favorite mode of package transportation. And last night she made corn that tasted just like Grandma Cows' corn!)
4. Root canal's hurt less than filings, in my opinion - and take less time. Done in under 30 minutes and pain free! So far....
5. I really like the show What about Brian and last night was most likely the series finale...figures!
6. I can't stand reality shows, namely Dancing with the Stars. We watched for 5 minutes while waiting for Brian to come on and it was incredibly painful.
7. Having your taxes done is well worth the money especially when they find deductions you knew nothing about (i.e., moving expenses!) - my return is over $1100! Yay!
8. I still love Aerosmith songs!
9. Sometimes laundry doesn't need to be done right now and you can manage with what's left in the closet and the underwear drawer.
10. I need to have someone help me reach the back of my neck when applying sunscreen, yep - a little red there after golf practice!
Ok, I am off to Palm Springs. I'll write more if I come back:-) Love you all!

So much to blog about...

So little gumption. Yes, I am feeling lazy like a sloth. And I don't care:-) I am officially on spring break! And lovin' it.
Here's what I've done so far to begin my 2 weeks away from my children:
1. Played the Mexican Train Game (fun fun dominoe game) for over 4 hours Friday night, and I won!
2. Got a massage. (This sounds extravagant but wasn't really because I don't like thinking I pamper myself with pain. And this massage was painful. I have bad hip flexors and my neck isn't properly untensed so I was in huge pain last night).
3. Got a pedicure - this is where the pampering comes in. I even got the sea salts and a flower painted on my toes!
4. Got fitted (by a professional) for new bras and bought myself a new nightgown.
5. Bought myself 2 books, which I rarely do. And I won the raffle at school from the book fair this week and got to buy 2 books there so I have 4 new reads for the vacation - YAY!
6. Reread some of my novel, beginning the never-ending editing process. And I know this sounds weird and self-indulgent and self-congratulatory but I was choked up when I read Patricia's story. Seriously. It's weird. She's real to me.
7. Took a 4 hour nap yesterday.
8. Cleaned out my closet today and got 2 bags ready for good will.
9. Helped Ang mop the floors (under diress).
10. Ate pizza and talked with friends.
So yep, all and all a good start. Now tomorrow is dicey - I have my root canal at 8am. And I get my taxes done at 10am. So we'll see how the day goes.
Also - can you all please say a prayer for my Grandpa Cows, he's having some tests this week.
Later gators - I have a lot to write about but it'll come later.

One more day...

I promise to blog more soon. And return emails. And call you on the phone. And do the dishes (and take the empty cake pan out of the laundry room - I was storing it there so if maintenance came in they wouldn't think we're total pigs). And dust my bedroom. And work on my budget. And paint my chipped fingernails. And clean out my purse. And reorganize the floor of my closet so I can get near the closet and hang up the clothes. And deal with the tiny annoying ants in the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom.
All after we finish parent-teacher conferences tomorrow at 3 pm.
Until then I am going to bed.

Just another root canal

Yep, that's what's been causing the tooth pain all these months. I'd gone to my dentist. I'd had the crown from August shaved and refitted. I'd complained and moaned and taken Advil. And I complained some more last week until I got a consult at the specialist. And at 7:45 this morning they told me that an infection is eating away at the bone above my tooth. Fan-freakin'-tastic. So Monday morning at 8am, the first day of spring break, I get to have a root canal and it will only cost me $881. Then the following Monday I get to have a crown put on. Gotta love teeth. I'm looking into a wooden set.
Can someone explain to me when dentistry and oral hygenine became so expensive? Seriously. The last root canal took less than half an hour. It didn't even hurt. But almost a thousand bucks? It's no wonder a lot of people never go or that our nation's kids have horrible teeth (trust me, I see them every day). Dental care is expensive. And I've used up all my insurance benefits for the year already with the last root canal and 2 cleanings.
And get this - the payment plan offered is a dental credit card. Great. Just what I need. At least if I put it on my Chase card I can earn points and get a gift card in the mail.
So yeah, gotta love teeth. And the 2 days of my spring break I'll devote to caring for them.
This really bites!

Tricky Tires

I decided on Thursday I did not want to be a grownup any longer. Because when you're a grownup you have to deal with stuff like bills and jobs and flat tires. And a flat tire is exactly what I had Thursday morning. So I let it sit until Saturday morning when Angela and I tackled it and guess what?!? We were able to get it off, put on the spare, and get my tire patched - all by ourselves and all for free! I was pretty impressed with us.
That out of the way the weekend seemed very accomplished and overall, good. We did some shopping (groceries, snacks for our trip to Palm Springs in 9 days, and some very cute tank tops for this ridiculously warm spring weather), had brunch today with friends, laid by the pool and read, cleaned up the house, finally got all the laundry put away, and got things situated for our first golf meeting tomorrow.
Ang and I are going to be co-coaches and we're doing all the preliminary stuff like reserving course time, looking into getting shirts made, and figuring out how to teach 7th and 8th graders who've never held a golf club how to golf. Should be fun - I'll keep you posted!
So yeah - I know that complaining about our weather seems ridiculous to those of you up in the northeast but it's pretty intense here as well. It topped 100 degrees yesterday which is a record high for this time of year. And what's more - it's not cooling down at night, which meant last night neither of us slept well, despite our fans. I hate to turn on the air already and pay the cost of cooling both stories so we contemplated sleeping downstairs tonight but we'll suck it up and hope it goes better. Also, we went on this savings plan with the electric company today where you pay the same amount every month so we don't end up paying 300 dollars in August while we only pay 25 in January. So hopefully that will help (right now our payment is 115 dollars a month). And if it stays this warm I think we'll be turning on the air. Although that seems insane to me in March but then again, this is the desert.

This is our last week of school before spring break so that means parent-teacher conferences and 3 golf practices, should keep me busy!

Oh yeah, and today I spent 3 hours and 10 minutes watching Blood In, Blood Out - a movie about gangs in L.A. and prision. It's a movie one of Ang's kids insisted she watch and he let her borrow so we had to watch it. Here's my review: Don't rent it. Just don't. It's a lot of what I've seen on The Shield, The Sopranos, and other miscellanous TV shows and movies and the actings pretty bad. This week I think we'll be having a long talk with this student. I really want to know why he idolizes these gang members and prision inmates. I'm interested to hear his rationale. Because I doubt he wants a shank to the gut or a steel rod through the jugular or to see his little brother find his heroin needle and kill himself (all scenes from this epic movie). I'm very curious.

The Trees are Singing No More

Yesterday we got to school and they were cutting a big limb off one of the beautiful trees out front of the school. Okay we thought, it must have been dead. Then we noticed the chipper and the caution tape all around the school. And they kept cutting, not just that one limb but the whole tree. It was sad but we figured the tree must have had it coming. So we went on.
Then we got an email from the principal telling us the sad news: Every single tree around our school (and there are tons, they give us much needed shade in when it's 97 degrees outside like it will be today) was to be cut down. Every single tree!
By lunchtime it looked like a tornado had gone through and by the time we left at 4pm it looked like a bad horror movie. The trees are all gone. All gone.
Apparently they stopped watering them several years ago and because we live in the desert, the trees' roots went looking for water. Guess where they found it, yep, under the foundation of the school. So the story is that the roots were starting to hurt the foundation. They tried rewatering this fall to no avail.
We had just read a novella in class, Song of the Trees, in which a family fights to save their woods from clear cutters because the little girl says the trees are singing to her. It's a great story and my class really liked it, even did well on the test. And yesterday it was really sad to have one of my girls come up to me and with all sincerity say, "Miss Knapp, the trees aren't singing any more."
One of my boys asked me what would happen in 50 years when we can't breathe and I said I didn't know because I really don't. But I do know it was sad to see those trees gone. It will be sad to drive up to school today and see the sand and only sand. And to look out my window all day and not see trees and shade but sun and highway.
There's talk of replanting and we were admonished to look forward not complain but I really think it's sad. I grew up with a pretty hefty respect for trees and nature and I wish there was something else they could have done.

10 on Tuesday

Ten ways to make what started as a bad day (finding out a kid you spent 45 minutes of your time off the clock helping yesterday skipped 7th hour! among other things) much better:
1. Getting all my grades figured and into the computer 2 days before they're due!
2. My friend Angel getting into nursing school! Congrats lady!!!!
3. Planning 3 golf clinics for next week for my team and working out the perfect spring break schedule for golf so it doesn't mess up any big relaxin' plans.
4. Getting new shoes in the mail that I didn't have to go to a store to buy - and they fit perfectly!
5. Sitting down for 25 minutes with my kids and reading the awesome Tuck Everlasting, it's a really well written book - and not just for kids! It makes me laugh constantly, and the descriptions are amazing. This is one of the best parts of my job, just reading with my kids and hearing their spontaneous chuckles or seeing them figure something out.
6. Finding some great war propaganda posters online that printed out in color really well for our big lesson on propaganda techniques tomorrow, I think it will be fun!
7. Calling the Calla Lilly Inn in Palm Springs to inquire about their package deals to find the woman extremely charming and very accomodating. I can't wait to go over spring break!
8. Hearing from my mom that her doctor's appointment went well today and that her heart tests all came out okay!
9. Getting a new DVD in the mail from Netflix: House, M.D. (which is so far a good show!).
10. Getting an email from a friend telling me that something I helped start a long time ago (the tutoring program at MLK in Kalamazoo) is still going strong. That's awesome.
Now it's off to watch some House and then do some reading. Hope you had a good end to your day as well!

Hallelujah

We had our school-wide T4S (Teach for Success) sweeps today which means every teacher was observed and evaluated. We stressed and agonized over lessons, over whether or not we understand verbal scaffolding and whether or not we have all students engaged. We have to have all the little boxes checked by these strangers and then we get the golden egg: instructional time maximized. And guess what we did it! Angela, Shannon and I and a bunch of other friends all made it! Whew. It was nerve wracking but we did it and we're pretty excited so we went to Lute's and celebrated with cheeseburgers and fries and friends. Good times!
It was pretty funny too the way we found out. After school we were all standing around outside of the principal's office and we saw her in there with the vice principal and we knew they were going over our sheets so we peered in and smiled and they told us to come on it. She announced that we were her group of "over-achievers", it was great! Success.
So we can breathe - but only for a moment. 12 school days left until the AIMS test, the big standardized state test that tells us whether or not our school makes AYP (Annual Yearly Progress) and gets to get off the school improvement plan. If we don't, that means trouble, trouble in river city since we are on year four of our school improvement plan already. If we don't make AYP the powers behind No Child Left Behind will swoop down. Eeek!
But I am going to enjoy tonight and go to sleep happy since I aced yet another evaluation this year! Hooray! That and I am getting a massage tomorrow so maybe my back will stop hurting!

$87,000

$87,000 - the reported amount per week that several stars of Lost get paid. And they are complaining that they don't get to work enough and spend most of their time sitting on the Hawaiian beaches, waiting.
Seriously.
Oh, and then there's Zach Braff (whom I adore!) who's reportedly going to get $350,000 PER EPISODE for the 7th season of Scrubs. Now I love Scrubs but 7.7 million dollars for just the one actor! Come on. It's of absolutely no surprise that this is all my kids want to grow up to be - famous. Not even actors, just rich and famous. I want to be paid that kind of money for what I do. Don't we all? I mean really, I bring home about $11.25 an hour if I only work 40 hours a week. And that rarely happens. I need to write a script and fast.
Speaking of what I do, today was another 10 and 1/2 hour day. So we had pizza tonight, at Round Table, which was really good. And a big salad. And I was feeling guilty. But it was so good. And I didn't have to cook it or clean up (they serve on paper plates there - gotta love it!).
Tomorrow will be even longer, afterschool program then prepping for the big Yuma Plan Day observations on Friday. We're all on pins and needles. Can't wait 'till Saturday.

10 on Tuesday

(Stealing from Jamee's fabulous idea)
I am thankful for:
1. God's little reminders that I do have it very good, and I should remember to be thankful
2. Cool mornings and snuggling under the covers
3. Friends who send Bible verses and inspire me to get back to what matters
4. Laptop computers so I can balance my checkbook in bed
5. Salad in a bag
6. Kids who make me smile at the end of the day
7. Long emails reminding me of good conversations
8. Stretchy pants (and no, not the Nacho Libre kind but the dress up kind!)
9. Angel food cake and strawberries
10. Co-workers who listen to you bellyache and sympathize
So what are you thankful for today?

My head's above water - barely

So I might not be as burned out today but I am still a bit toasty. We have spent the last 4 hours grading papers. Ang helping me with tests, me doing essays, and it's now 10:30 and I need sleep. And I need to do the hundred other things on my to-do list but we'll see which wins.
Today went well, I was finally observed! Yay, sixth time is the charm. I guess it went well - I am never sure. My last observation - a week or so ago, with my mentor teacher went really well and I could feel it. Today I was very anxious, thinking he wasn't going to show. And because I'd just learned our big AIMS (standardized test everyone lives and breathes around here) might be pushed up a week which really throws off the teaching calendars. So yeah. Best thing is it's over. We have our school-wide observations Friday and after that I think my head will be much higher in the pool.
On the up side it's 70 degrees right now and it's lovely. Might even need to open the window before bed. Wore sandals today, what a great feeling in March. (No, I am not rubbing in it Northerners because I spent 28 years there!)
Ok, off to bed. Didn't hit 10,000 steps today -only 8436 but I did walk 2 miles this morning before putting the pedometer on. Oh, and Ang broke her 3rd pedometer today. I have decided her forcefield just cannot handle such a contraption!

Burnout

Reader's Digest lists the job with the number one rate of burnout as...(drumroll please) Teaching! Yep, surprise! And after today - I know why. I am there. At 8:30 I was asleep on the couch. It's now 9:30 and I am headed to bed after forcing myself to put dishes in the dishwasher and wash my face. It was one of those days.
Oh, let's see...a little taste of what today was like for those uninitiated like I was just a few short, sweet months ago:
- Remember how my room was tagged on Tuesday? Well today I found a handmade gang posted in my room (complete with a misspelling of terf instead of turf) which I now have to take to the police officer tomorrow after I confront the kid who I think drew it.
- I am grading a 5 paragraph essay they turned in last week. So far I have some with 7 paragraphs, some with 3 and one with 1 paragraph. And the AIMS (the big deal standardized tests) are coming up asap.
- We had 2 kids for detention today and 10 for tutoring afterschool. It was a madhouse and I helped the situation by offering Mike and Ikes for good behavior. Well, for at least pretending to be good.
- One of my kids decided to skip getting on the activity bus at 5:30 after tutoring, went to the basketball game instead (illegal in Middle School without a parent present) and then had no way home. So guess who had to take her home?!?! Yep, the other Miss Knapp and I. After a very loud, very public dressing down by yours truly.
- After reading 41 pages of the novel Tuck Everlasting, which is very good so far, I still have kids who are saying, "I don't get it."
- After lunch, when us teachers are all coming back from our 30 minute bell-to-bell break, there was a fight in the hallway and the huge eighth graders who's parents have bullied the principal into dropping any and all disiplinary referalls, were blocking our access. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Another day in the hood.
- Our school police officer reported that we have more gang activity and violence problems at our campus then the local high school does this year.
So this and so much more is why I am going to bed now.
Oh, and yeah, I wore heels today and guess what? Only got 5200 steps in instead of my usual 10,000+. Interesting. Can't wait to get back to the tennis shoes tomorrow!

I don't know where to begin...

It's 6:59am and I am dressed and ready to go to work. Somedays I barely am ready to go at ten to eight. Today it's super early. There's no rhyme or reason. I got up and walked 4 miles today at 5:30 and I was excited to do so, not really for the health benefits but so I could listen to the latest podcast I'd downloaded. I found UC Berkley's podcasts online and I can listen to a whole host of awesome things there. Last night I found this one entitled "The Bush White House: How Covering the Beat has Changed" - an hour and a half with my the spunky Helen Thomas and several other distinguished journalists. Did you know she has covered 9 presidents and is STILL in the press room. Wow. She covered Kennedy. Yesterday I brought up Kennedy and my kids looked at me like, "Who? What? What's she smoking?"
So yes, very cool podcast. They have others - a whole psyics class, etc. So tonight I'll play and download some more. And they're all FREE! I adore my iPod (Thanks Mom and Dad - you rock!).
Other stuff I am thinking but my brain is going to fast to write more than a few words this morning:
-Last night we watched the Bob Woodruff special on ABC about when he came home from Iraq and his recovery. It was heart-wrenching and angering and as Ang said, "depressing". But necessary all the same. Please pray for Specialist Andrew Hughes. Our families grew up together and he's over there now and was recently attacked by an IED. No severe injuries for him that I am aware of (well not on the brain injury side) but still, it's horrible what's happening.
-We also watched The Unit last night, all about fighting "over there" and it was interesting to see that side of things, even if they are fictional on that show. There was a huge gunfight and Ang was upset and we discussed how America really is becoming desensitized to violence. Well, in our opinions. And how we send so many over there to fight and it's not their job, it's not what they've been trained to do on their 2 weekends a year, and we wonder why it's not going well. I am not in any way blaming the troops - I cannot begin to thank them enough - but our adminstration who sends more and more troops over there to do a job that is unpredictable at best. Ok, off my soapbox.
-My classroom got tagged yesterday. In yellow marker someone wrote South S and it looks like they got stopped before finishing Side. This is a gang here in our area and I was so pissed. They're gonna hear it today - everyone!
-And yesterday I had my 5th schedule observation and it was the 5th time my boss didn't show. Life is so great:-)
-Ok, gotta scoot, Ang needs clothing advice! Have a good day all.

12195

That's how many steps I took today while at work. That equals 4.43 miles and 824 calories. Woo, no wonder I was tired tonight. And that does not include the 4 miles I walked at 5:30 this morning listening to the ever-chipper Leslie Sansone and her walk-away-the-pounds friends.
So I am heading to bed early with a stack of Newsweeks. Keep movin' everyone!
And in case you're wondering, yes - that walking does equal out the half box of Somoa girl scout cookies I ate tonight. But still didn't go over my daily total with the exercise points. Walking rocks!

Jury Duty and other stuff on my mind

So I went to sleep at 9:30 last night. I am a party animal. We did go out to Lute's Casino with some friends from work and enjoy dinner and some great conversation, lots of laughs, etc. Then we came home and tried to watch Man about Town. This is a movie I have been wanting to see since I heard it was in the works and then it was never released on the big screen - straight to DVD. Not sure why. It's a Mike Bender film (he writes, directs, and is a major supporting actor in it) and I loved him last The Upside of Anger. Loved, loved, loved it. But I fell asleep. I do not blame the movie or Ben Affleck (whom you know I adore) but rather this insane week. So I went to bed. And proceeded to sleep for 10 straight hours. Wow, guess I was tired.
So I woke up and immediately had to start writing my jury duty letter so I can mail it today so I don't go to jail. Angela and I were both summonsed for jury duty on July 1, 2007. I would love to serve on a jury, I find it fascinating, especially if it's anything like a John Grisham novel or Twelve Angry Men or Law and Order. But not in July. This is our month off, our summer vacation. I'd already been pricing plane tickets that would take us to Michigan right when school got out then to Texas to see Brick #3 for the first time and to celebrate the 4th of July with them and then back here. So this really puts a wrench in things. Big time and I am so not impressed.
So I wrote a letter explaining I need to go home to see my parents who are in poor health (go with me folks) and am hoping for mercy. Please hope with me.
So it's now Saturday, and I am headed to school to help Ang and Shannon out with their career ladder stuff (a horrible, evil program that the district forces new teachers into). Then we'll see what the day unfolds!
Later gators!

The first day of Lent

So today I had to explain Ash Wednesday and Lent to my seventh graders. Interesting as most of them are go-to-church-three-times-a-week Catholics. But we discussed it nonetheless. And when asked what I was giving up they were surprised when I said nothing. As usual I am taking my whole "Do something" for Lent stance. I am already trying to give up extra calories, soda (since January baby - it's working!) and procrastination (this may be a never ending battle).
For Lent this year I pledge to exercise and write daily. Not just when I feel like it, which would be rarely. So this morning I got up at 5:20 am and walked 4 miles with the aerobic video and Kevin Smith's podcast in my ear. And I'll do it again tomorrow (though I doubt the podcast tomorrow will contain such a lively poltical debate as today's over whether or not Oriental is no longer politcally correct).
So what are you all giving up/taking on?

Big news in Yuma

It sprinkled yesterday, yep - a few drops of rain on the sidewalk and today the kids were all a flutter with the news. It's funny, I want to tell them that 4 days of rain or 14 days of rain is news not 10 seconds. But they don't get it here, especially not the kids.
We had a good day, overall - I even got my 1000 words in when I got home. That's my goal: 1000 words a day on either a screenplay or novel. We'll see how it goes.
I did not meet my exercise quota today - only hit 8365 steps or just over 3 miles but my feet hurt by 6th hour and I was home by 4:15 writing so I guess that's ok. We'll try again tomorrow.

The playground

So these are pictures from our Saturday morning. Angela and I volunteered to help build the new playground down by the river here in Yuma. It's being funded and built completely by volunteers and was designed by the kids of Yuma. It looks like a giant castle, and is pretty cool!

We worked from 8am until 12pm and were considered skilled workers because we said we felt comfortable using a circular saw. Actually, we ended up using a drill and putting up the blue and pink blocks you see here. It was tricky work, I had to stand on a 10 foot ladder and screw the blocks into place into the plastic composite boards. I used muscles that haven't been worked out in quite a while. And my balancing skills. We put up quite a few all over the place and then half an hour before our shift was over our supervisor found us and told us we had to take them all down. There had apparently been a miscommunication and there had to be pink boards under the blue pieces. So with heavy hearts Angela, Lety (our new friend who was grouped with us) and I took them all down. Needless to say after that I did not feel nearly as bad about going through 4 drill bits in 3 hours!

Hit the mark

So I made it today: 12,846 steps. Well over my ten thousand goal. How'd you all do??? (it helps to work a ten and a half hour day, keeps my feets a movin'!)

And a happy V-day to me!

So I was going to post yesterday and somehow it became 11:30pm and I had to fall into bed. Somehow the time passes so quickly when you are a) watching 3 episodes of Lost to get caught up with the rest of America and b) chatting online with friends from Michigan, setting up your MySpace account, and just playing online. So we'll just pretend it's yesterday and I'll report on Valentine's Day in the southwest.
So my biggest treat/surprise was when I got home and there was a brand-new dishwasher installed! I am so excited. We've been fighting with ours for several months and finally the maintenance guy gave in and just ordered us a new one but that was over a week ago and I was getting antsy. So I was delighted yesterday to find the plastic wrap on the puppy when we got home. I was so excited I put the detergent right in and Ang was like, Sarah - we don't even have dirty dishes in it yet. But I didn't care. I was "pickled to death"!
Also, I got gifts at school. A bowl of candy and a big container of chocolate covered pretzels, a You're So Raven card, and various others. The pretzels never made it home:-) Okay, okay, neither did the candy.
And I was so excited this year - I got tons of cards and gifts in the mail from family and friends, I feel so blessed really, so loved. So THANK YOU! All of you!
Alrighty, I've had my five minute break and I need to finish grading papers. I am giving two tests today and a lesson on descriptive writing. It's also "Friday" - a nonstudent day tomorrow and no school Monday so I know things will be a bit frenzied (that's one of our vocab words this week!). I am also being observed fifth hour which should be interesting. Frankly, I just want it to be done, it was rescheduled once and I know I shouldn't be but I am a bit anxious. But I suppose that keeps me on my toes!

The count

I walked 10,248 steps today (and that was just until 6pm when I took the thing off)! That's 3.72 miles just at work, whew! No wonder I get tired, and today wasn't even a very busy day walking wise. Today I inputed grades and we listened to a 22 minute story on CD that allowed me to sit and work and listen for most of it. So I think I did pretty good. How'd you do???

Pickled to death

-We are learning about descriptive writing in class this week. Last week we had a lesson on synonyms and using better words to describe things. For our Do Now! work one morning (which is on the board every day, something they have to do to get started immediately without my prompting them) I had them find synonyms for good, bad, happy and sad. One of my students put down the phrase "pickled to death" as a synonym for happy. I couldn't help but smile. I asked him quietly if he meant "tickled to death" and he got this embarrassed smile on his face and said he thought the thesaurus said pickled to death. I thought it was great and laughed about it to myself all day. Priceless.
-Some of you will be happy to know (or at least you'll pretend to be) that I wrote today! Yep, I worked on the novel, on Molly and Crystal's stories. They intertwine somewhat which makes my life oh so confusing. And I have added some side characters from Patricia's story in which makes it just a bit more convuluted. But all in all it went well and I feel rather accomplished. It's not done or anything but I feel like I'm moving forward! And I gotta say, that's better than the alternatives...
-I saw this very white crane today in the front yard of the apartment complex. I tried describing him to my dad who I was on the phone with at the time but I've yet to find out what his name is although I've done some checking. (Not name as in Fred or Louise but type - there, clarification). I actually went out with the digital camera to take a snap of him but as I approached him he flew away. Hmmm, I need to hone my stalking skills. But the kinda creepy guy who smokes outside his corner apartment all the time startled me so maybe that was my problem. I put my camera away and walked swiftly home. I'll keep you updated. On the crane that is, not the creepy guy.
-So most of my kids are failing my class. Literally getting an F. This hurts me. And I know it's not me, it's them not doing their homework, them not taking their time on essays and tests but they'll get the wrath anyway tomorrow when I print out grade sheets and make all the Ds and Fs get them signed and stay after school for the next few weeks. I will not let them fail gosh darnit! I will not!
-I went to the doctor today and got a pretty clean bill of health although I need to have some standard blood tests done tomorrow. So I am fasting for that right now. I was encouraged to take calcium supplements, 1000-1500mgs a day. So I went right to Walgreens and got me a big bottle of 400 pills, 600mgs each and I promptly took 2 so I think I'm good. That means I am now taking a multi-vitamin, vitamin D, vitamin E and calcium supplements. Ang thinks I am crazy but I told her the nurse practitioner told me I could even take Flinstones as long as I took something. She thought that sounded terrif so she got some Flinstones on her way home and guess what, she hates the taste! Hehe. A well spent 5 bucks:-)
-I got a new pedometer this weekend, the 6 dollar one lasted 3 days and then quit counting steps so I got a 20 dollar one I am hoping lasts much longer. I am shooting for 10,000 steps a day and I'll report back so someone challenge me!
-We had a Netflix discussion tonight. We're winding down our time in Stars Hollow with the Gilmore Girls (and there was much sadness!) so we have to beef up our cue. Ang is not terribly impressed with my movie selections (i.e., Say Anything and Drumline and some independents (Half Nelson) which I have never seen but would like to) so we added some new TV: the last of The Sopranos and House. We'll see how those go. Suggestions are widely encouraged:-)
-Another thing I learned at the doctor today: underwire bras are bad for you. I never knew this! All my life I've been thinking I had to wear them and turns out nope, they are not good and should only be worn for a night out on the town. I was instructed to spend some money on some good sports bras instead. Hmmm. I liked that thought:-)
-Alrighty, I am signing off for the night. I have to be at the lab at 7:30 to give blood and then it's a 9 and a 1/2 hour day at school (afterschool program's running twice this week for me!). Whew...'Night all!

One of the good days

Today was a day I needed. A good day. A day when everything went well in class and the kids seemed to get it and I was enjoying it.
I was supposed to be evaluated today by my boss, the vice principal. But he had a death in the family and had to reschedule for next week. Even though we're not supposed to put on a "dog and pony show" when the administration comes into our rooms, we all do and I am no exception. We've had a lot of profession development classes lately on how to be better teachers: writing and sharing our objectives with the kids, key vocabulary, instructional design, etc. And while it sometimes seems like a waste of time, today it all came together. I had planned a very formal lesson, scripted from a workbook on the 6 traits of writing, for my eval. And I decided to continue on with it despite the fact that no one but the kids would be watching. And I'm glad it did. Today was descriptive writing, learning to use the thesaurus and synonyms. And it went so well. It took almost our whole 2 hour block but I had the kids discussing, writing notes, using their books, talking about words, finding new words to use when insulting each other, it was GREAT. Today is what I believe teaching is all about.
And then afterschool I had tutoring. I ended up with one of my kids and 2 of Angela's and it went so so well. I was almost giddy afterwards. I got to talk through a tough story with one of my girls and help her raise her test score from a D to an A+. I got to walk one of Ang's boys through a test on cacao beans and forest fires and have fun in the process. I got to help another of Ang's boys write a creation myth that he seemed excited to write (well he always seems excited, he is ADD but anyway, he was at least writing!). And I had a girl in detention for gum chewing who told me, unprompted, that she had learned her lesson. So I let her skip the punishment section after a few minutes and make up a test she'd missed.
So yeah, all in all, a good day.
And on a side note (or a birdwalk as they call it here, we call them tangents where I come from) - I was thinking today as I watched my kids work and talked with them all day about words, what will these kids be like when they are grown ups. Won't they be something. To think, I only get to know them for a little while. They're still kids. They've only just begun. They are just starting. But in a few years, it would be interesting to find out who they become. Because they're going to be some pretty cool adults. But it's just crazy that I only get to see them for this moment. For now. So I am appreciating that today. I am enjoying being with each of them. With the girl who writes "Miss Knapp is the best" on her white erase board. With the boy who waves at me every single time he sees me. With the boy who was so angry when I gave him 2 detentions but found Angela every day I was out sick to tell her he'd been behaving for the subs. With the girl who reminded me today that her mom and I were both born in 1977. With the girl who, every time we hear a song by 'The Fray' (on announcements and Channel One usually), yells, "Miss Knapp, it's your favorite band" (say something one time and they never forget it. With the boy who's decided Angela is now Mrs. Brown (Mr. Brown is the math teacher down the hall Ang has a very contemptuous relationship with) and they honeymooned over Christmas break. With the girl who asks my permission to wear her new shirt with writing on it to school the next day.
This is all just from today. I am truly amazed at all the happens in my world on an hourly basis. How many thoughts and individuals I come into contact with. And how each of them affects me. And how I affect them. How they seem to crave my attention and at the same time defy me regularly. Even the good ones. It's astonishing. I am so grateful for this experience. So grateful.

Just because

I really don't have much to blog about today. Nothing exciting has happened, not much new to report here though it is sunny and 80 degrees. But I kinda miss the snow and cold of the north. I know, I know, if I was there I surely would be singing a different tune. But I'm not there and part of me misses my fleece bathrobe and my turtleneck sweater and my wool socks. Here I sit in my summer pjs with the window open because it's 65 at 10pm. Don't hate me because I live in the southwest!
I am feeling moderately better though everytime I blow my nose my kids cringe and I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a new symptom this time 'round. I came home tonight, made a stir-fry and collapsed on the couch with some Gilmore Girls. (We taped Lost and will try to avoid all spoilers until we watch it, probably on Friday.)
Well this was a boring blog but it's all I've got. I'm a little off my game because of this whole plague part 3 thing going on. I'll work out some better stuff for tomorrow. Until then, sleep tight!

Back to the grind

I made it back to work today and it felt as if I'd been gone four weeks instead of four days. But it was nice to hear over and over from the kids that they missed me. And they had a lot to tell me:-) Good and bad. How the pencil sharpener's just quit working, how the wooden snowman got broke, how the sub said I had a lot of eighties music in my CD collection, how they got a detention in math and they don't know why. So much to hear from my 59 little ones.
Work was fine, we read a story and I got some organization and grading done and tried not to exert too much energy. Doing that brings on coughing fits and that seems to freak the kids out.
But I did manage to put 10,006 steps on the pedometer today. That's twice out of three days wearing it I've hit the 10,000 mark so yay! How many steps did you take today???

Antibiotics and Kleenex

Yep, that's right, I'm sick again. Fever, chills, aches, runny nose, sore throat, lovely productive cough. I've got it all. And since I had already missed 2 days of work this week for this lovely sickness, I finally went to UrgentCare last night. The doctor there was great, I've always had good luck there and at $50 for the visit, it's really not bad in my opinion. He told me I have an upper respiratory thing and sinusitis or something like that. He drew little pictures of my sinuses on the table paper and talked about dissecting cadavers and I tried very hard to listen. My ears peaked when he mentioned a possible CAT scan if the 14 days of antibiotics don't clear this up.
Ang went with me and I was very glad for that. I think that you should always go to to doctor with someone when you are sick. It's too hard to hear all they have to say when you're not feeling well. She asked some great questions for me and I am so thankful to have the support as I was sitting there just trying to keep from coughing.
The doctor wrote me a note for missing school, and gave me cough syrup with codene and antibiotics. I guess I took the cough syrup to early last night though because around 3:30 I woke up and proceeded to lay in bed coughing for the next hour. Then I got up and decided to do something else, thus why I am online at 4:45am.
The good news is that I have sick days, so I am thankful for that, and that my kids have gotten good sub reports these past 2 days. I can't ask for more really. At $99 for 2 types of drugs I really don't know what people without health care do, so I am very thankful for that as well.
Guess I'll head back to bed. You know, in theory it's great. Three days in bed doing nothing but flipping channels, napping, and reading a little bit. But in reality, it stinks. Go figure!